June 25 2013: step six in mind… "Acceptance is the key: giving up the need and desire to drink. This gave me a freedom I never experienced before, the freedom to be me. I realised I could go back to the start, I did not have to fear anything. And I did not need pride, or ego to bolster up a fragile personality. I did not need to fit in and distort myself in order to feel right about life. I learned how to say yes to what is good for me and no emphatically to things which are bad, and hurt my progress and wisdom." Getting our freedom back to make the choices which are right, is profoundly liberating. And yet we still live in a world which renders many powerless and without recourse. We do not need to be chained up again, we can have our own quiet revolution and then evolution going on, one day at a time…
It took me many years of striving to realise that although I had the right skills and the right qualities, which worked in various careers, the rich career choices were made based on want and desire, aspiring with fear inside? Actually, the only fear over the years was making sure that there was plenty of alcohol in the cupboard, partying, always an option, rewards for doing well and no sense of personal direction or finding out how to love, be loved back and enjoy endeavours which might have been right for me. The world economy, the local economy and always driven to celebrate the next success in the material world. The material world is of course part of the spiritual world of now. And as I acquired it back in the day, it was just another item ticked off the list of things to do… These days I am not afraid to love, I'm not afraid to be loved back and whenever I find something useful to do, and endeavour which is right for me, I can try, I can be challenged and sometimes it works out. And sometimes it does not. Happy in my progress just for today…
Some things which came to mind over the past days, people outside of fellowship around my age have experienced equally tough times, sought help and often have ended up self-medicating with the most available drug. Profound sadness underpinning profound disappointments and loneliness. When we were young, with energy, which never seemed to burn out, and then decades later, many bruised by life and unable to climb out of despair. This is where I recognise why unity service and recovery as broad principles in fellowship make the difference. If we cannot change our outlook, no amount of professional medical or other forms of intervention are likely to undo decades of living. Invested in past glory and loss, so hard to change on one's own. No amount of thinking ability, no amount of cognitive understanding will mean anything unless attitude and behaviour change. Certainly, acceptance is the key to develop courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and just enough confidence and support. So we can and do let go the old ways and rebuild who we are one day at a time…
Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 25 2013
Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 6, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,
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