Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | May 30 2014
May is the fifth month, and my concentration on the fifth step: surrendering to the truth, by sharing everything from my step four with my higher power, and mentor started a process of daily reflection. Reflecting on how the day has gone, sometimes when we are H.A.L.T.: hungry, angry, lonely and tired can drive out any feelings of gratitude. And until I remember of course, that I can have gratitude that I'm still breathing and able to have all my emotions working daily.
Life is full of these moments of: "I can't believe that just happened!" And of course the I don't believe it moments, is part of the process of denial and acceptance. Unbelievable things happen, and then it takes time to see the truth and accept the truth. We see injustice day in and day out, which might impact directly upon us, or it may be something we see that we cannot do anything about. Learning through the serenity prayer, the can do and the cannot do is always a daily experience. And without any gratitude, we can get very angry and very resentful if we do not seek support when life is difficult. Meetings, meetings and more meetings always help to recalibrate ourselves in this very difficult world.
Emotional life is the absolute key to everything, it is the foundation which drives our thinking in the moment of now. So often we keep on doing the same old same old, and the emotions underneath can be very difficult when they emerge in a great big eruption when they are suppressed. Living in our thinking, and being very driven individuals, we often override our emotions and push them away. Better not save up our feelings until they cannot be suppressed any more, better to have a mini break down of the nervous variety on a daily basis through step 10 and gratitude before bedtime?
The ineptitude caused in local government and the National Health Service still rumble along. Actually it is not the fault of individuals on the front line, it is the faceless bureaucracy and mismanagement which gets under my skin. In the end, if I were to apply myself to the task of sorting out the ineptitude and incompetence, I would waste my valuable time. Instead, in letting go matters which I cannot influence directly, I don't hand them over to God, I hand over to the ombudsman, the legal driven people, and those who can influence the existence of those who ignore me. I don't have to do anything more than report the ignorance and complacency to the "Compliance Brigade." Gratitude for those tasked with compliance. Letting go takes time!
All in all, if I keep gratitude, very close and realise that my needs are met, and I do my part in matters, my personal outcomes keep me in a place of happiness and serenity. Surrendering to the truth that we can influence with a gentle heart, rather than a battering ram, keeps me in a place of sanity. Other people, places and things have battering rams, I don't need one of my own to ensure that the possibility of a good outcome might happen in the future. I am very happy with needs met, and wants forgotten today.
Step Five Video 12 And 12
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