Monday, 31 December 2012

December 31 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 12 Living Principles Alcoholics Anonymous

December 31 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 12 Living Principles Alcoholics Anonymous Today's Daily Reflections: "our emotional and spiritual development, with help of fellowship, for a whole day!" I attended two fellowship meetings yesterday, the first all about living in the moment, and living in the solution. The second, all about living in the moment and living in the solution… Same message in two meetings, and for me fantastic reinforcement in what I believe. And emphatically, a fellowship with one primary purpose. And emphatically one fellowship with many faiths. My faith? Learning what the next right thing may be in the moment of now…

Video For Today:

Living In Reality Now

One fellowship, many faiths… From religious, to secular, to living in the moment of now and being able to cope. However we do it, thinking always leads back to control. Understanding our emotional and spiritual is all part of meditation. Trying to think our emotions and what they ought to be will yield nothing. Trying to understand our mood in the moment of now is always the starting point when it comes to formal meditation for me. How am I feeling? Why and what to do next. Right now I feel good, so likely my thinking is good and my intentions and actions are likely to be good. Looking outwards, open honest and willing to be helpful as I am in life and part of society today…

The end of another year in recovery. And a year where learning about my feelings impacting on my thinking and then my thinking impacting on the actions which are possible in any moment of now. Progress in learning how to say an emphatic no to things which are not good for me and I don't feel like doing. And Gandhi's quote which is summarised as, "an emphatic no is better than a half-hearted yes." It is all part of learning, learning what is acceptable, learning what is unacceptable. Learning that I have never really had power over what goes on in life, and the illusion of control has been smashed. Powerless over alcohol, and very happy to be powerless over alcohol and I need not drink one day at a time. And I need not feel the need to be powerful over people, places and things…

One of the speakers yesterday mentioned that the fellowship of AA was their primary source in recovery. And over the years they had been to many different fellowships for different addictions to substance and behaviours. I must say I have attended other fellowships, and that the core of all fellowships are the twelve steps to live a life with freedom of choice. In my case, the fellowship of AA provides an answer to addiction relating to any substance and any behaviour around people places and things. One fellowship for everything. And yet I know, every fellowship has its place for those of any background needing particular help with particular addictions. One fellowship is no better nor worse than the other. My only advice, do one set of steps, and learn the principles, the principles work if we work them one day at a time…

The best advice, keep on listening, keep on relating and find like-minded individuals in recovery, who can help you for a day. Sponsors can help, and also sponsors can hinder. Sponsors in an ideal world can help you learn the steps and traditions in the fellowship. How we then live the principles, the twelve steps and see how the twelve traditions fit into the framework of our living will always be a unique experience for each individual. One fellowship, learning by experience, becoming stronger and more hopeful and so many ways to live sober as there are people in fellowship. Our good fortune is we learn what we can do and cannot do on a daily basis, we learn to cope with reality, we learn that love is always at the core of our existence…

Humility… Learning to ask for help from anyone anywhere about anything which impacts on anyone today. Asking for help, powers up the people around us, powering up the people around us to help us is a key to opening the doors to new living and new possibilities. Asking for help means we will have to sort, and sift as we often can be overwhelmed with suggestions and solutions. We still need to work at solutions and the power that works through people will only diminish if we are selfish and remain dormant. Humility, this impacts on our courage, faith and confidence to keep on taking another step, a new path, retracing our steps when needed, and learning what works in life one day at a time…

The last day of my regular daily reflections and the start of my sabbatical to explore interests and possibilities. Sharing experience, strength and hope openly since 2004, has taken many hours a day, writing and sharing and replying privately to many fellow travellers in recovery over the years. So many places to share and so many people sharing their wisdom openly wherever they feel able has helped me enormously in recovery. At the same time, where would I be without face-to-face contact, and the benefit of loving friends close? I would not be here without their help one day at a time. And face-to-face, recovery in the moment, with love at the core works in the ever present, imperfectly perfect moment of now… Treasured and cherished companion's trudging the road of destiny together with love always… May your God, may your good, may your good conscience be with you today and every day…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

When I feel right, I probably think right and then my actions may be right. Unburdened from the past, and not fearful of my future, I can live in this one day. When I feel wrong, my thinking may be wrong and my actions wrong too, and if it all goes wrong, I have fellowship and the humility to keep on learning just for a day…

Last day of the year, looking back I have had less fear, no need to put on a brave face or hide away from anything or anyone. With help and support, my faith and courage have helped me build confidence in living one day at a time. Living the truth, and being open honest and willing will guide me into the New Year. With truth and honesty I can ask for help at anytime and anywhere…

Time flies in recovery, so many new friends and connections, the feeling of included and not excluded helps me find peace and serenity. I hope when you encounter me, I am myself and what you see is what you get. No need to cover up or fear you finding me out as less than, or untruthful. Being a learner is key to my spiritual living and always just for today…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

"I don’t have to make New Year’s resolutions! I can make every day a New Year’s day!" A day at a time, when I was living in the problem, it was a never ending nightmare. A day at a time living in the solution, my feelings fit the experience I am having. I am able to love, be loved back and useful. Happy ordinary, very extraordinary living today...

Realising I am powerless over people, places and things has let me be free to see my part in living today. No longer confounded or imprisoned by "my way" I see the big picture of life. The big picture, where I am included, know my feelings fit the experience I am having, I have freedom of choice based on reality, simply for today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "The idea of “twenty-four-hour” living applies primarily to the emotional life of the individual. Emotionally speaking, we must not live in yesterday, or in tomorrow. As Bill Sees It, p. 284

A New year: 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes-a time to consider directions, goals, and actions. I must make some plans to live a normal life, but also I must live emotionally within a twenty-four hour frame, for if I do, I don’t have to make New Year’s resolutions! I can make every day a New Year’s Day! I can decide, “Today I will do this . . . Today I will do that.” Each day I can measure my life by trying to a little better; by deciding to follow God’s will and making an effort to put the principles of our A.A. program into action."


December 31 2007 - January 1 2008

DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ Home Safe And In Fellowship

Past Present And Future

Adventures in the past, all good? Most were in my recollections, the difficult new years were those towards the end of my drinking career. Drink had caught me in a trap, I crossed a line in 2002.

The invisible line which made me dependent on alcohol. I had been a good drinker most of my life and the typical scrapes I got into with drink involved most often ending up in strange places and maybe with people I liked or loved. All to the good as drinking stories from the past used to make me smile, and still do sometimes as the good of this was often in good company and often doing what anyone else might. And then as time went by the drink was paramount and my isolation and depressions came in waves. I have had clinical depression for all my life I now realise with professional help to make me understand.


Now sober for some years and living in the day. Life has become more manageable and more in keeping with the person I feel I might be. it’s a hard lesson to realise that much of the success in the past was predicated on what I thought looked right rather than following my path. These days with fellowship, professional support for other ailments I got in recovery, and of course family and friends, each day works as it may, soberly and just for a day.

You Tube

Would I have ever made so many videos on you tube had things been different? I doubt it as the life led before recovery was one of looking right and not one of being right in myself and the world. These days I have a chance, I have choices and make life work in the day.


I am a learner always and feel happiest being so. Learning life and gaining wisdom, helping myself and others reap the benefits of sobriety. Sober is a new wealth for me. I saw some people tonight receiving their ‘chips’ of sobriety from one month sober to thirty nine years sober. What a gift and to see life is better sober in all elements, physical, emotional and spiritual is a wonderful event.


I need not worry too much about the future, it will be here soon enough, and being a day at a time person, the new year is welcome as the old one ends. My life has more serenity than before. I look back at living and hard times with open eyes and less denials. I know I made huge mistakes and would make amends where possible and as time goes by.


Feeling love and being part of the world again, it is a new world for me. As mentioned my old life is far away, the old life where prosperity was measured materially. These days wealth is how I fare in living a day at a time, understanding my emotional, spiritual and physical conditions! Not about money or power or material wealth. And of course I cannot take that with me wherever I go.

Love is the Key these days. For 2008?


I have no real clue, I have choices, I have opportunity to live carefully and with better understanding. To be present.

Present - the Ever Present, Present

Less to Ego’s Drift, more towards courage, faith and confidence to let each day happen and be a part of the picture as it may be. I need keep safe in fellowship, be clear and gain wisdom. Be a part of family, be a part of friendships and be happy as one can be. There will be joy and sorrow in this coming year, just for now, a day at a time…

Daily Reflections January 1 2008

"I AM A MIRACLE" The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 25

This truly is a fact in my life today, and a real miracle. I always believed in God, but could never put that belief meaningfully into my life. Today, because of Alcoholics Anonymous, I now trust and rely on God, as I understand Him; I am sober today because of that! Learning to trust and rely on God was something I could never have done alone. I now believe in miracles because I am one!

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

When I came into A.A., was I a desperate person? Did I have a soul-sickness? Was I so sick of myself and my way of living that I couldn't stand looking at myself in a mirror? Was I ready for A.A.? Was I ready to try anything that would help me to get sober and to get over my soul-sickness? Should I ever forget the condition I was in?

Meditation For The Day

In the new year, I will live one day at a time. I will make each day one of preparation for better things ahead. I will not dwell on the past or the future, only on the present. I will bury every fear of the future, all thoughts of unkindness and bitterness, all my dislikes, my resentments, my sense of failure, my disappointments in others and in myself, my gloom and my despondency. I will leave all these things buried and go forward, in this new year, into a new life.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that God will guide me one day at a time in the new year. I pray that for each day, God will supply the wisdom and the strength that I need.

As Bill Sees It Spiritually Fit, p.280 Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.

We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland icecap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of Scotch and ruin everything! Alcoholics Anonymous, p.100-101

31st December 2006

Chairs and Shares and Things Spiritual

In our fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous we tend to follow the words of the AA preamble we have for every meeting we attend. it’s a bit of a reminder for everyone why we attend meetings, because most of us forget why on a daily basis.

AA preamble: “Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.”

Important ways of Living Well

As it clearly states in the preamble, we are not allied to any sect, denomination, politics, organisation or institution. And we don’t want to be controversial. We don’t endorse or oppose any causes. And we want to be sober a day at a time.

This Preamble

It was useful this year, to use the sentiments of the preamble over Christmas and over this New Year I will do the same. I shall have no opinion or any feeling for controversy. I will be powerless over people places and things, and be happy just for the hour, or the morning, afternoon and evening. The words in the preamble make it easy to sail through any engagement with other alcoholics and especially any family and friends we might feel try pigeon hole us one way or another. And truthfully it lets us let other people “be” as well. We just occupy our space and get on with getting on. And happily for me, it seems everyone else did much the same this year. And for this I am very grateful.

No Argy Bargy, at all this Christmas and it was a delight and we all got on.

Anyway back to where I need to explain what’s all this about


There seems great misunderstandings about spiritual in our fellowship. And as I have mentioned in recent times spiritual is actually making the best of reality today. Anyone who studies the spiritual path gets to learn we are trying to get our Mind, Body and Breath focussed in this present moment of now. And as AA call it, being in the day. The spiritual path therefore is quite easy to understand, it means we see real life on real terms without blinkers of denial and blinkers from alcohol and drugs.

Mind Trips we Have

When we indulge in drugs or alcohol, or whatever we use to fix our inner feelings, we are simply fixing ourselves. Mind altering drugs like LSD are the far end of not seeing life on life’s terms, its an inner kingdom of imagination and, well quite frankly just the size of our head and imagination. So when people say they have mind expanding trips from drink and drugs, actually what they have is a brain full of clashing images and memories, not at all spiritual, more in keeping with mixing all the primary colours together as an artist might and coming up with something very brown and turgid, and quite meaningless.

Spiritual Programme

So the spiritual programme as I perceive it is quite easy to get in AA. It is simply being in tune with the moment, where we can use all our senses to experience the reality of life.

Other people’s Spiritual and God ( God is optional in AA )

This is a problem and we need not step on any toes here. Many people have a firm belief in God. And it is their experience of life and their belief. I need not undermine in any way, any other persons opinion, nor may they do the same with me.

My Spiritual - Providence and Nature

Is simply acknowledging we are all from Providence and Nature, and we work best with a clear head. When it comes to values and principles of living, I do firmly believe we all have a conscience. And good conscience developed with clarity keeps us on track and firmly in the day where we can be spiritual.

Just for a day.

What gets in the way of Spiritual and Good conscience?

Life seems to throw up all manner of conflicts where we can respond and react from the good of us and the bad of us.

Every Feeling and Attitude to life has an Opposite

Yes it does from Love to Hate, Ego to Esteem. As we work out how we want to be, most likely it involves more Love and confidence and less on Ego and Hate.

The same goes for Bravery to Courage, Fear to Faith, Ego to Esteem. So when we feel courage, faith and esteem, we are more likely to find our spiritual fulfilment.

When we feel fear, we need to be brave, when we have fear and bravery we most often defend our Ego, our attitude to superior ways of life and behaviour. Of course Pride and Arrogance fit close with fear bravery and ego, where humility acceptance fit close with courage faith and esteem.

How we live Life

We need every element of our human condition to find our path to good living and hopefully to good conscience. Where we have courage, faith and esteem, we have nothing to defend and we live in our spiritual moment.

As the same time we cannot forget we will find our fears require bravery and ego, when we find ourselves threatened or under torment. We develop both sides of our emotions and see the good and bad of how we develop and where mankind gets things right and very, very sadly out of spiritual, in the emptiness of our darker emotions, more like a hell on earth as most experience when driven bonkers by drugs and alcohol.

How come we have both good and bad?

I honestly don’t know why we are made up as we are. Except we know when we are to the good and also when we are to the dark of living. And what triggers most of our dark times is when we grow in ignorance and in fear of our lives and livelihood, our place in the world feels under threat. So we have reactions and responses and we learn what works for us the best.

As to Why

Do we need to argue it? Do we need to defend what we feel is to good conscience. These are questions we have as we live. For Providence and Nature and happenstance determine much of what we are and what we become. Why, why, why. There is no real answer or ever going to be an answer which provides absolute resolution of anything connected to faith and belief.

I was challenged tonight

Someone quite rightly asked me what I meant about courage and faith and esteem in our fellowship. And my reply is quite simple. I get courage and faith from our fellowship which is about developing our spiritual path, to live life real in this moment of now. When I live with courage and faith, my esteem is right, and I feel equal to living. When I feel fear, I have always needed to be brave, when fear and bravery were my needs and my attitude, I felt threat and ego stepped in to quell my self doubts about defending something about me. Fear strips our feelings and reason, moves us to hate and aggression. Esteem and responsiveness to challenge can enable acceptance of many ways of life and reality as it is today. So we find forgiveness for ourselves and others on the path of life.


We all make them daily, hourly and even by the minute. When we can accept our humanity, we move more easily and with confidence, and enable the same in others.

My mistakes are so many, I have much wisdom both sides of path to enlightened living. So while wisdom is helping me, experience can hinder me. And I need to keep an open outlook as best I can.

We simply Learn

Yes we do to live life on life’s terms. What we get is what we get. There is no deserved or reserved place where we fit. We just learn to live as we may, and make it an endeavour with good conscience.

Is Life Fair?

Life is neither fair or unfair, life is life. Good conscience and our endeavours hopefully make our path more understood through time. And acceptance is a real key to making life work as it is, just for today…

So where does this leave me tonight, on the eve of the eve of the New year. I write this journal the night before you most likely read it, or for some its already new year’s eve.

Tomorrow is another day, a future I can be part of, simply because I have found a path to greet life on life’s terms. Sounds fatalistic like that? Well not for me, for I never know where life will take me and tonight I am glad to be sober and to be me. What more? Who knows? Not I!

31st December 2006

End of 2006

A short and reflective message today. Just to wish everyone a happy new year and hope for 2007. After the last few days its my sincere hope that we all get some courage, faith and confidence to be ourselves as we determine with the best choices open to us. I have a friend returning to our fellowship, another celebrating a year in sobriety and many messages of good will. And I hope the same for everyone. We need not hurt each other or judge each other, we need just one gift, life itself. And this I have for today. May it be so for as long as may be, a day at a time, and with an open mind learning wisdom and love. Now that’s as much as I need say, best wishes to all,

DonInLondon / DonInChelsea / Don Oddy

December 31st 2005


This question is always there, how to validate. To support or corroborate on a sound or authoritative basis, who we are and what we are. There as so many challenges we face, we get confused and wonder at ourselves, our feelings and our reason. We often feel the need to check ourselves out. We need only look in a mirror once, and then we are hooked, checking and ensuring we portray who we are. Or we don't because we reject what we see for some reason or another. Animals do it, they are fascinated by reflection, and so are human beings. We look and preen as nature intended, we look again and figure there is more to us than we see in the mirror.

At least we hope there is more than this thin veneer. Yet, so often we are challenged and assessed and codified in the blink of an eye. We do it to ourselves and we do it to others we meet. Not such a bad thing to do? Certainly we need that gumption in our minds eye, we need check for predators, we need check for danger and as important we check for safety.

We spend so much time in validation of others and ourselves. We take a split second preview and base a lifetime’s judgment on that assessment and then we seek to endorse that moment. In our validation we find, if we are to take expert testimony, our own, and that of the scientific world, proves assumptions made in that dramatic moment is usually right and by exception wrong. So why is it we find our validation process off the mark, less than, and inferior? Simply we take what we see and then deny it, we shrug it off. We then exercise filters and factors we have learn which confuse and story that gift of perception. The gift nature gave to keep us from harm’s way. Smiles and take an endorsement out with you today and see the world trusts you and you trust yourself...

December 31st 2004


In life our song reaches every moment, sing with great heart your melody. When we survive great catastrophe, at home in our own world, we can rejoice and move on. We experience the powerlessness of world catastrophe, we can contribute in our own way to alleviate and support. It feels hopeless sometimes, yet the simple act of kindness connects us all. Our humanity, our gift to our fellow man will open doors of opportunity.

Indeed the ripple effect of life is boundless. Acts of kindness, and humanity deepen our collective conscience and the world is touched. We have great depth, memory and capacities for love. Love life...


Just For Today And Every Day, Cherish Always...


“Awakening as the result of what? The result, or consequence of taking the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is a Spiritual Awakening. Please reflect that this step does not say the awakening comes as the result of taking steps 1 through 11, those preceding Step 12. On the contrary, the awakening comes as the result of taking these (all of the twelve) steps, including Step 12. (If you disagree, that is wonderful. Keep on digesting these steps.)” Big Book Bunch

December 2012 | Playlist About Step Twelve: Step Twelve Playlist


AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve

Big Book And Twelve And Twelve

AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections

AA Daily Reflections

December 2012 | Step Twelve Reading Video Link:

Step Twelve Reading

December 2012 | Video Reading How It Works:

Reading How It Works

December 2012 | Video Reading A Vision For You:

A Vision For You

December 2012 | Video About Grief And Depression

Video About Grief And Depression

Sunday, 30 December 2012

December 30 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 12 Living Principles Alcoholics Anonymous

December 30 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 12 Living Principles Alcoholics Anonymous Today's Daily Reflections: "truth is spiritual, anonymity, a sanctuary to understand what truth may be…" That is not the way it is written in the AA daily reflection and it is not understood that way by many. The suggestion in the traditions is, that anonymity is the spiritual foundation for the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. I don't find it disagreeable, however, truth is my spiritual foundation. The more you know the truth of me, the better the choices to engage or disengage. It saves a lot of time to tell the truth about me...

Video For Today:

Anonymity Offers Sanctuary

Over the years, that is my years in sobriety, the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous has been my sanctuary and the sanctuary of many other people to keep on learning how life can be without the need to fix with a drink or any other behaviour which pops up as a result of sobriety. We humans are evolving through our lifetime, and as we are evolving, the same is true for the fellowship of AA, family, community and society. The world is evolving and the understanding that humanity is gaining through time most often is learning the truth of now, moment by moment. The more we understand the truth of now, we are in the spiritual moment, ever present imperfectly perfect moment of now…

As a fellowship provided sanctuary, it also provided a way of living to a set of principles which have a timeless quality and work in all conditions. How well the twelve steps work in all conditions depends on how well I am as a human being on a daily basis. Some days I have the twelve steps in mind, and then on other days I can be forgetful about the twelve steps and life becomes more difficult. Twelve steps to help me with my behaviour, twelve steps not to judge others and their behaviour, I say it again, twelve steps to help me and not to judge other people…

A lovely meeting last night in the sanctuary and companionship of fellowship. I don't share about specifics, and I don't share about people specifically. I can share that I was there at a meeting and in a general way about the impact it had on me. A real reminder of what it is like to be a newcomer in fellowship, some completely raw and returning, some completely raw and new. Some with the years and years of wisdom living in recovery. Highlighted was step one, powerless over what has happened, and powerless over alcohol and if I take a drink, then life will get unmanageable again. The self-awareness of other people and their journey into recovery is remarkable, I was not that self-aware, and it took quite a while for me to come to the conclusion that drinking alcohol and any other behaviour which became addictive had made life very very difficult over the years. Life is still difficult, and if I accept that life is difficult and then it is no longer an issue, just for today. Principles which are timeless keep me on track and when I cannot understand what to do, I can ask for help and most often help comes my way. Living a life with humility, opens the door to unknown treasures one day at a time…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

The 12 steps, are all about open honest and willing. I love this because truth and living in the now provide me with my spiritual connection to living in the moment of now. The 12 traditions, are all about unity service and recovery. Unity in fellowship, service by helping others and recovery, means I learn as much as I give.

Truth is my spiritual foundation, and not anonymity described in the traditions. Attraction to recovery is always “what you see is what you get.” Promotion offers a fix rather than a suggested program which works one day at a time. Anonymity is sanctuary to find the truth of who I am and who we are today. And my caution is anonymity can be a deception rather than the real truth of recovery. Vanity comes in many forms. “Censorship is the height of vanity” Martha Graham. The real truth of recovery and how we live is a personal journey. And anonymity will always be a personal choice.

I would rather people know the truth of me and where I am today. I'm sober and simply learning what is possible, what I can do today and what is not possible and what I cannot do today. And in that statement is truth. And when people know the truth of me, they can choose to include me as I am, or exclude me for whatever reason they choose. The genuine article is far better and sustainable, rather than a fake which may let you down. I will always be a learner, making progress and never perfect…

DonInLondon 2005-2010

ANONYMITY ~ when I share experience strength and hope in a meeting, I am one voice amongst many. It is always the many voices in recovery which helps us find wisdom and identification with our fellows. All voices carry equal weight, we often find the answers to our problems today in the message shared in a meeting where anonymity provides sanctuary to find the truth right now...

ANONYMITY ~ affords us sanctuary to share the truth of now. What is happening to us, we share our problems and our solutions. Often we come to a meeting with problems which seem impossible to fathom, we have fears and concerns. Often we simply hear the answer as another shares their experience strength and hope. A simple solution for today...

AA Daily Reflections ~ "ANONYMITY December 30 Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 564

Tradition Twelve became important early in my sobriety and, along with the Twelve Steps, it continues to be a must in my recovery. I became aware after I joined the Fellowship that I had personality problems, so that when I first heard it, the Traditions message was very clear: there exists an immediate way for me to face, with others, my alcoholism and attendant anger, defensiveness, offensiveness. I saw Tradition Twelve as being a great ego-deflator; it relieved my anger and gave me a chance to utilize the principles of the program. All of the Steps, and this particular Tradition, have guided me over decades of continuous sobriety. I am grateful to those who were here when I needed them."


December 30 2007

DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ - Reflections The Man In the Mirror

Who Am I?

Hello My Name is Don and I am still an alcoholic. How many times have I said this? So many times now I need not fret if someone finds out and judges me according to their views and outlooks. I am human though and merely making progress so how others judge me is bound to make an impact in some way or other. Not caring can be denial, caring too much and my ego is away and growing without much trouble… Less so today!

In many ways today has been a gentle and careful one. Just moving along and keeping my head and feet more earthbound than anywhere else. I have helped another along their path today. So I feel good for sharing and being helpful.

With a lot to do in the new year, I am firmly keeping to my one day at a time way of life. Any other way, I am in history or in the future which is beyond my ability to fathom or change. Were it always so? Most likely I just did not know, that the moment of now was the one to be experienced.

Times Past

I still have feelings for past partners. And not surprising as most of my partners loved me as they might and I loved them. I still cherish wonderful memories with women in my life ‘back in the days‘. And still know living in this one day they are most likely happy and content in where they are now. And for me it means I can cherish and feel good about the good times. And times of sorrow when as often happens life means we go our separate ways.

The Present - A Clear And Present Danger

Is speculation. I do often wonder what next for me. As life is for living and not for sitting and waiting. All the running repairs I can do on a daily basis keep me pretty busy, as does this website and as time is going along I am more interested in life, living this one day and finding new endeavours which may lead who knows where.

From being homeless, which has been a number of years, to having my own residence again has made feel more secure. It does not stop me having to work at living in the day.

Medical matters are as they are. Recovery, Diabetes and its complications for me, Clinical depression which seems to have a life of its own, not made well as one might wish, just made liveable as one can. Some normality in outlook as long as I keep with the programme of living in the day. There is much in acceptance to learn as chronic conditions do not improve, generally they deteriorate and we need find our courage faith and confidence daily to deal with subtle and often rather radical changes in health and wellbeing.

Gently and with Care

I am pleased to be able to help and be of use. Many people have been very kind to me, helping me put my life back together as best one can. Not the old life, that is really far from where I am now and far from where I may go next. My family have helped me beyond measure, as so too, the fellowship of AA.

It’s the journey?

It seems so, the journey we all have, to make sense of life, to experience it, to be the best we can for ourselves as well as help others to be the best they can too.


Love such a big and all-embracing word. I love and get loved back, even when I don’t know it.

As per usual in affairs of the heart, I am still a learner. And indeed I am just a learner in all elements of living. The wisdom so far has helped me find stability. And romance is something we never know quite when or where it may occur. As time goes by, I am circumspect.

A friend of mine suggested we are not the best catch of the day with the mileage we have on the clock. I wonder if that is just a reality check or just a way of accepting not being in a romantic interlude.

Advice to Self

Be open to all life offers and all we can be. And also be gentle and truthful, not shunning anything and not over reaching the way life is working. Who knows? Not I.

Meanwhile I am content and still optimistic with living in this one day as life can be, full of gentle moments, full of care and real feelings these days and not ones which were from fear or from ego. A big change for me, this acceptance is good for the soul. Progress and not perfection.


Seems we have friends where we least expect, and as our circle of friends in AA is from every background hue and is the most diverse group with one common goal, sobriety. Friends a plenty to help and support. A gift beyond my wildest dreams.

I am no longer alone.

Daily Reflections For December 31 2007

Daily Resolutions ~The idea of "twenty-four-hour" living applies primarily to the emotional life of the individual. Emotionally speaking, we must not live in yesterday, nor in tomorrow. As Bill Sees It, p. 284

A New year: 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes--a time to consider directions, goals, and actions. I must make some plans to live a normal life, but also I must live emotionally within a twenty-four hour frame, for if I do, I don't have to make New Year's resolutions! I can make every day a New Year's day! I can decide, "Today I will do this . . . Today I will do that." Each day I can measure my life by trying to a little better, by deciding to follow God's will and making an effort to put the principles of our A.A. program into action.

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day ~ I shall be loyal in my attendance, generous in my giving, kind in my criticism, creative in my suggestions, loving in my attitudes. I shall give A.A. my interest, my enthusiasm, my devotion, and most of all, myself. The Lord's Prayer has become part of my A.A. thoughts for each day: "Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Have I given myself?

Meditation For The Day ~ As we look back over the year just gone, it has been a good year to the extent that we have put good thoughts, good words, and good deeds into it. None of what we have thought, said, or done need be wasted. Both the good and the bad experiences can be profited by. In a sense, the past is not entirely gone. The result of it, for good or evil, is with us at the present moment. We can only learn by experience and none of our experience is completely wasted. We can humbly thank God for the good things of the year that has gone.

Prayer For The Day ~ I pray that I may carry good things into the year ahead. I pray that I may carry on with faith, with prayer, and with hope.

As Bill Sees It ~ Ourselves as Individuals, p.281 There is only one sure test of all spiritual experiences: "By their fruits, ye shall know them." This is why I think we should question no one's transformation--whether it be sudden or gradual. Nor should we demand anyone's special type for ourselves, because experience suggests that we are apt to receive whatever may be the most useful for our own needs. Human beings are never quite alike, so each of us, when making an inventory, will need to determine what his individual character defects are. Having found the shoes that fit, he ought to step into them and walk with new confidence that he is at last on the right track. 1. Grapevine, July 1963 2. Twelve and Twelve, p.48

30th December 2006

End Of Days For Some in 2006

We get news in our fellowship when people we know about have died. Its extraordinary how we feel about the death of an active alcoholic. Especially when we have seen them around for years, and known them for being in meetings, outside meetings and never really here at all. And tonight news of one more on the roll, taken early by alcohol.

Odd really this time, it was not a surprise and yet it is. For this particular man I knew by sight and the odd word, seemed unable to ever stop drinking. But actually as I saw him quite frequently in the last year, I saw him go from stout to thin, from being a bear of a man, to practically nothing. And I did not know he was that close to ending, or had denial, actually no I felt he had lost his battle. So finding out tonight, as the meeting opened made me reflect he is not the only one taken this year I have known.

It is very poignant and sorrowful, yet for most in the fellowship seeing this man tragically lurching in and out, asking for money and pleading for anything, it makes me wonder how and what anyone can do to stop us when we are so far gone. He is no different to me in my worst days. And I wonder if anything could or may have made the difference. In the years I had known this man, I never really saw him drink a drop. And how much of his mind was left to feel anything beyond a desire to keep drinking, is beyond my imagination. I would have perished long before if it had been me.

So this does always make me feel wary and careful and just confident enough to “keep on coming back” to meetings whenever there is a slight misunderstanding about anything. And keeping close to fellowship friends who know we do what we can just one day at a time.

As we go along in recovery we see ourselves in others, and the reminders of just how easy a bit of ego, a bit of fear, and a need to find some bravery can undermine the solid person in recovery. It is so easy to pick up again if we don’t keep ourselves in the day.

I hear so much of what ails us and so much about success shared. We need to hear success and actually success in whatever medium it may be, and find similarities and sometimes the differences, so we can find our own path in society as we may.

Often success sounds like material development. And most often we hear calamity around wealth and its loss. This is the usual tipping point for many of us as we forget the programme we follow.

Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Well Being

Nothing in AA literature is really about material development. It is a spiritual programme one day long for us all.

Its not a surprise to me to understand how we may develop our spiritual selves at all. After all we all come equipped to develop our gifts and talents as we may and society enables.

Great misunderstandings exist about spiritual progress in our fellowship and I guess for many how look for purity and purpose to perfection. There will be no perfection unless we consider we are imperfectly perfect. We come to life and make of it what we can with what we have. Pretty much the same template from Nature and Providence for everyone. And as we gather our spiritual wits about us we operate spiritually in the present moment, hopefully for we cannot make our spiritual selves any bigger than any deed we may endeavour. We are not storehouses of spiritual, for spiritual is ephemeral, only as good as the moment.

The Misunderstanding made by Man

Indeed there is only one misunderstanding ever made by anyone, that is they are in some way superior to their fellows. That through any amount of living there is more right to anything from Nature and Providence. From this misunderstanding most of mankind’s problems become apparent.

No matter how we may argue rights over others, we have none. And when we exercise choice its about our life and living. Anything beyond is manmade and made to be misunderstood.

As to how this makes me feel, its ok to me. I can be myself and make simple choices to help to endeavour and be the equal of living again.


A great share about how to get to AA. We all have our story and we need know them for it explains our misunderstanding about how to live to the good of life.

Our sharer was great, clear on history, clear on where they are now. Some many years actually into sobriety, every foible and every emotion we have, because they are from Nature and Providence. We don’t make the rules, we sure do bend them. We learn if we lucky how to be well and adjust ourselves to daily life.

So often we think ourselves back into old ways if we leave our fellowship or don’t relate to others who face the same problems of living, just for the day in the world of reality.

And sometimes people feel themselves superior in some way or other to their fellows. It stinks when we hear it, its called bullshit and it is our ego speaking.

Still we can all do that, and so have I. what counts in the end is the progress we make and what we do with it. The gift of fellowship is we share it and try our best. And this takes me back to tonight’s sad news.

With good conscience I must examine my part in life. And not that I am anywhere near perfect at all. Of the people who are dead this year who I have known, I do ask myself what more might I have done? And truly I am not sure I have done enough in these respects. For today is a reflection on what may follow in other days, and I hope with some due care and some more attention that I may help others get the gift of sobriety.

I am no “do gooder” in this endeavour. And I reckon I need be kind to myself and others who do try, and maybe we know now we can try some more, for it is the worst and most lonely way to die of a broken heart, on a cold night on the streets of London or anywhere without love inside or out. Part of the grief in all this is mine and anyone who tried to help, it hurts twice over, for not doing enough and not being able enough. Yet we all know the insanity and grip of this disease. We all know it could have been us, and we get a daily reprieve from the madness we had. And know what its like to be that man.

I doubt I will ever have a hard word to say for any person so bedevilled by their addiction, that death comes too quickly always, and in fellowship we need not hurry it along. Life is short as it is, and goes so quick a day at a time. Keep coming back we say, I shall just for today.

December 30th 2005


We like to believe we are forgiving, or do we? A big assumption on my part, some people don't want to forgive, don't understand forgiveness and some never will. And some people seem able to forgive some things and not others. Incidents, from small to extreme hurt against a person, they are all there to forgive. If we want to. When we are hurt, we don't find forgiving anything easy. Simply because we are hurt. And hurt can be felt as rage, anger, frustration, disbelief and much more. Hurting and being forgiving are a long time overcoming when we feel broken inside. Don't get mad, get even then forgive? Or just get even and simmer in our own hate. Even if we do get our own back, at what cost? To live in hate and hurt. Especially when we try to get even hurt comes to town, we don't want to hurt others do we, really? Sometimes we do. And we suffer till the age has passed and either we let it go or we moved on... That’s what counsellors would wish us to do. Forgive, let go, move on and live life.

It’s a real bind when we attach blame onto things we feel hurt over. It was them, I want my pound of flesh, my compensation, my revenge. And while we are exacting our penalty, we are stuck in it too, not letting go, not able to move on and not able to get on with life. I am human and human means I feel hurt and pain as much for what others have done to me and what I have done to others. Those are the consequences of living, me and everyone makes mistakes and suffers until we get out of blame, get to forgive and let go our atrocities. To forgive, we gave to a God to do, it can be that hard and our life is shadowed in hurt if we let it be so.

To forgive we need start with ourselves. I need to forgive myself for all I have done. And at the same time accept the consequences of my actions. I can be forgiving of me providing I live with and learn from everything I have done. Consequences mean we gain and lose elements in our lives. We lose the trust of others in actions of betrayal, and we need accept the consequence and live differently. We may not ask for forgiveness from others, but they can bestow it!

I have forgiven over and over the betrayals I have felt over the years. And when I feel forgiveness is taking time, when I feel the fuck ‘em feeling, then I forgive myself again for being involved, I forgive them for doing their best and their best leaving me vulnerable and hurt. I keep forgiving humanity its less than perfect being. I forgive every element of wickedness towards me. I am learning to forgive completely, so I can forgive myself.

I accept the consequences of life on life’s terms, real life and not a self-willed version I might wish to pedal as reality. I forgive myself for mistakes I have made and will endeavour to learn and be a better person. I will try to be myself so others may find the real me acceptable, and if they don't accept that consequence. I forgive betrayal. I forgive violence toward me, and I forgive malice meted out to me. And consequently, I will be more aware and careful with my fellows and where they are with the world and accept their capacities for honest dealing or not.

Honesty, a commodity in scarcity in a world where front and bravado keep our world secure and the real world at a distance. We need be forgiving when this world lets down our expectations, and find gratitude in our acceptance of everyone and everything. We can move on and away, we can find our true self along the way, as we let go and renew our world. And we continue to make good choices on truth we learn, not what we think it might be. Forgiving ourselves and being human, knowing we can stray each day and every day off a path where open and honest gets the best results, even when they are not our desired results. Knowing that as we let go we make room for new and as we forgive ourselves each day, we don't pile up lifetimes of junk we can never see through.

And when our life junk is getting us down, let it go and share and toss it away as best we can. If you hate someone today, you can be certain they hate you as much. If you can forgive yourself as victim or forgive yourself your "sin" then you are on a path ward equality with your fellow man. If you accept all consequences whatever they may be, then you have found the path of redemption. And if with hindsight and wisdom you travel a way, the path is easier and smoother, life gets better and different. And because of our actions, consequences are what they are, exacted and accepted. Others may wish us harm and in harm’s way, another consequence of life beyond our control. Choice informed and learned from every hard knock makes for real living in the real world. Holding on to illusions? Best make sure we know reality and fantasy, both essential elements for the discerning human being making good.

And what might you forgive in yourself this day?

December 30th 2004


If you wanted but didn't get, maybe you don't need it... Complete, it might compete with serenity. Serenity and complete, are best moments when the world fills our mind and our mind absorbs to greet our world. An absolute, so fleeting, not a capture more a rapturous moment of collision.

Serenity is in the knowledge, complete is somewhere close to capacity, rapture so embracing our emotional ocean, storm quelled in the glut, our mind sedate.

Tis but a moment as our vessel empties, night dreams create a swell and daybreak a fissure...


Just For Today And Every Day, Cherish Always...


“Awakening as the result of what? The result, or consequence of taking the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is a Spiritual Awakening. Please reflect that this step does not say the awakening comes as the result of taking steps 1 through 11, those preceding Step 12. On the contrary, the awakening comes as the result of taking these (all of the twelve) steps, including Step 12. (If you disagree, that is wonderful. Keep on digesting these steps.)” Big Book Bunch

December 2012 | Playlist About Step Twelve: Step Twelve Playlist


AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve

Big Book And Twelve And Twelve

AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections

AA Daily Reflections

December 2012 | Step Twelve Reading Video Link:

Step Twelve Reading

December 2012 | Video Reading How It Works:

Reading How It Works

December 2012 | Video Reading A Vision For You:

A Vision For You

December 2012 | Video About Grief And Depression

Video About Grief And Depression