December 16 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 12 Living Principles Alcoholics Anonymous Today's Daily Reflections: "we cannot make our recovery go faster than we can…" I wish you a very slow recovery! And a long one, one day at a time! I can remember my mind racing at the beginning of the first few sober days, "if I turn back now, I haven't lost much…" And I did turn back a few times, and the result was misery and emptiness, and that ice like feeling and excruciating pain. I did not have to go backwards, I was unable to go forwards until I kept the right company long enough for the pain to subside to a dull ache…
Video For Today:
Intensive work with newcomers is a joint effort in fellowship. The danger can be our thinking, I can be attracted to thinking I can help one person and I can be able to save them. Especially if I am attracted and the person who asks me to help them is charming, even though they are mad. Would they ask me if they were sane? Not bloody likely! It is always the many, the meetings, and the many voices of those sharing their experience, strength and hope which helps newcomers. Even when our message may seem obscure, or a bit off to more fellows who are wiser and older in recovery, to the mad head, listening to the madness and way out can be very appealing one day at a time. Every person counts in fellowship, and we are all equal in our message to the newcomer, because the newcomer can only hear their story in the many stories shared…
For some reason I feel good, right now? Yes I do, no pain which is really unusual for me. I'm no stranger to physical pain, and this past week has been quite a trial. It is quite an unusual feeling to be lifted out of physical difficulties and the emotional impact is very very good. And this morning before I got to my reflections, I needed to remind myself that although the journey is very difficult in recovery, every second is worth it. Sometimes life does feel so bleak, we might never wish to wake up, and then the dark clouds lift, and we feel at one and right again. Partners in recovery, if I had not set myself to work in partnership with all who find recovery, I would never have found the answers, nor the humility to accept help when help was offered…
Right now in this moment, I feel gratitude, and although I may be alone, I don't feel lonely. There are meetings galore on a Sunday, and I know so many people, all I need do is say hello and the conversation starts. This is the gift of fellowship, and although these meetings may be very familiar to me, I often sit next to a person who I had never met before. We exchange names and shake hands, a conversation just starts and we are chatting until we are called to order by the trusted servant at the front, and we settle and are asked to spare a thought for the still suffering alcoholic who is yet to find these rooms of recovery…
Partners in recovery, equal sized, we are all learning how to live in this one day together. It might seem like an easy proposition, if we were not focused on one thing, sober and keeping in recovery, we might fall apart quite quickly and find we are divided. Unity, service and recovery are the foundation of the fellowship. And with the foundation of unity, service and recovery in place, we keep learning how the principles, better known as the twelve steps are working for each person. Each person shares in their own way, simply by being there, shaking the hand of their neighbour, taking up a service position, anything and everything to help be sober today. Learning, and learning more with humility, and we find gratitude in the moment of now…
Today's AA Daily Reflections "PARTNERS IN RECOVERY ~ nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics ." Partners and equal, not teacher and pupil. The most important person is always the newcomer. Partnership in fellowship. No hierarchy and no presumption of my way or the highway...
The question of appropriate sharing in meetings came up. I am reminded recovery is “Just for today.” An old timer suggests our later sobriety sharing need be more mature, while newcomers share all of what is on their mind. An honest share from anyone need not be selective nor judged as inappropriate or appropriate. If I cannot say it in a meeting, where can I say it?
Emotional and spiritual living; where feelings fit the experience of now. Feelings change every second as the experience of "now" is changing every second. But if we are stuck in an old feeling, we cannot experience reality as it is; we are not in the moment of now. I was stuck in fear for years, needed help and "step by step" arrived in the world of now and still learn how to cope daily, feeling happy or sad as life is, without the wreckage of the past and not tortured by the future today...
December 16 2010 ~ I have learned I can love people, and hate their behaviour. I realise in the malady of addiction, family and friends loved me and hated my behaviour. In fellowship we may not like the way some people behave, and not like them, just like ordinary life. We still love them, partners in recovery, and life today...
December 16 2010 ~ In a palace, in a bedsit, homeless on a park bench, the prison of addiction is the same, insanity and imprisoned, no emotional or spiritual respite from pain. In recovery, we share experience strength and hope, from a palace, in a bedsit, homeless on a park bench, emotional and spiritual balance restored as it may be today...
AA Daily Reflections ~ "PARTNERS IN RECOVERY ~ nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics ... Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress... Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 89, 100
Doing the right things for the right reasons - this is my way of controlling my selfishness and self-centeredness. I realize that my dependency on a Higher Power clears the way for peace of mind, happiness and sobriety. I pray each day that I will avoid my previous actions, so that I will be helpful to others."
December 16 2007
DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ We Are Unique And Authentic People
The power of self will. That inner determination and grit we have to survive, to make life work. All from nature.
Nature made us able to stand on our own two feet. Nature made possible purpose in our living, to be a part of something, the universe and everything. And of course the power of self will can run riot.
We fear half our time alive if we are fortunate. We are always looking for the good of living and also ever alert to the dangers. And still we humans need learn over and over the power we have inside can lead us to wrong conclusions, wrong doing for ourselves and wrong doing against nature itself. Such is the plight of us humans!
The only connection we can have to living, as the tick tock of time renders a new moment a new possibility, we are able to make changes, ever so subtle to our outlook and our living.
Right now we can use our senses, right now we can accept the truth of now, or we can deny and keep hold of something which has already become the past, our experiences of life.
Feelings and Thinking
We have feelings alerting us to everything we are right now. We can feel good or bad as circumstances let us be. We think after we feel. We think to the good or bad. We make decisions right now which impact forever more. Open to our possibilities or denial of where we are. Much of my looking, much of my outlook develops as time passes and what happens to me.
After two days where I have felt disorderly, after a brief encounter with history not yet quite resolved, I had isolation and feelings of loneliness. It is hard after months of connection to feel this dislocation.
The why is simple, I found myself confronted with falseness. And in truth this always undo’s me as my life centres on truth as much can be. I felt false and did not express my true feelings. My true feelings were sorrow, the let down from hearing words uttered and not meant, or at least the sentiment was shared and then as moments past, the falseness completed and my isolated sorrow began. At least for then
I know my truth and felt it so. And this connection to now is about me and not anyone else. I am not here to be anything else but me. And at the same time we need let go old feelings and recognise the truth of now. Old feelings had their place, and no place now as I realised yet again a familiar pattern in me.
I realise I do a lot of pleasing and sharing. And its not so good when words heard are reflected back without depth, understanding or substance. Chanting mantras and reflecting help no one when there is no experience or understanding. So I realise sometimes the root cause of my problems and not solutions is always me!
After three meetings yesterday to relieve the isolated feelings in me and a sadness at so many misunderstandings, I found balance and understanding in wisdom shared by others.
Changes in me are slow. Half a Century and still old behaviour haunts. I realise some circumvention, more direct honesty is going to be a necessary change in me.
I have half-heartedly agreed over recent weeks to help in certain events. And today its time to say no more clearly and with more care. That is not to suggest no is the only answer as some things asked are within my capacities and inclinations.
As time evolves and I feel my feet more on the ground as my head and feelings are sorting themselves out, time is healing me, with a lot of help from friends.
Indeed I shall get with a little help from my friends. Do I need somebody? I need somebody to love.. Starting with me, so I may cherish and honour friendships as they develop. Or I am lost in this moment in time. And forever forgotten . All we need is love.
The way of A.A. is the way of faith. We don't get the full benefit of the program until we surrender our lives to some Power greater than ourselves and trust that Power to give us the strength we need. There is no better way for us. We can get sober without it. We can stay sober for some time without it. But if we are going to truly live, we must take the way of faith in God. That is the path for us. We must follow it. Have I taken the way of faith?
Meditation For The Day
Life is not a search for happiness. Happiness is a by-product of living the right kind of a life, of doing the right thing. Do not search for happiness, search for right living and happiness will be your reward. Life is sometimes a march of duty during dull, dark days. But happiness will come again, as God's smile of recognition of your faithfulness. True happiness is always the by-product of a life well lived.
As Bill Sees It Daily Inventory, p. 296
Often, as we review each day, only the closest scrutiny will reveal what our true motives were. There are cases where our ancient enemy rationalization has stepped in and has justified conduct which was really wrong. The temptation here is to imagine that we had good motives and reasons when we really hadn't. We "constructively criticized" someone who needed it, when our real motive was to win a useless argument. Or, the person concerned not being present, we thought we were helping others to understand him, when in actuality our true motive was to feel superior by pulling him down. We hurt those we loved because they needed to be "taught a lesson," but we really wanted to punish. We were depressed and complained we felt bad, when in fact we were mainly asking for sympathy and attention. 12 & 12, p. 94
16th December 2006
Well what a to do all day with phone calls and things like visits from housing people and then more tonight! I have had much connection to the world today when all I might have done was rest my feet and my head. Resilience is not too good at the moment and although in many respects my head is clear, its also in a sort of near to full. I have been writing a lot today on matters to do with forgiveness, things to do with other people who we cannot change or might even try to change themselves. And also helping out with how to make computers do what they may with what they have inside them.
So as if that was not enough, on top the meeting where I spoke last night, and the frame of mind I have meant I was probably ready to off load my insides in a meeting, and as I was asked to chair the meeting I did.
Sharing at meetings
It is all about experience strength and hope. Making sense of what is going on, and doing the next right thing. And we are complicated people, the world is ever changing, and we are moribund sometimes, somewhat marooned as we play catch up. Add on top an insanity caused by alcohol, my drug of choice, the actual purpose of our fellowship is to get back into the world and join in the madness which drove us bonkers in the first place. And all with nothing to take the edge off.
What I Discover
Its just easier to deal with all the insanity I face each day without a drink inside me. What was fun to do, drink and be merry became a repetitious chore to blot out hate and find oblivion from my work, my career and my whole living as it went to pot. As to which came first it matters not, as fear in my youth and never fitting in too well seemed my lot. Lonely was my life. And only when I see today the nature of fellowship and what it can do, do I now realise an isolated life is pretty thin in feelings and having any purpose.
Living is just that, it encompasses all we may do, or not do. All we have in opportunity, and all we have no access or privilege to have. What we get and how we handle living. Its got nothing to do with material success in the end as I have realised from early times in my youth, its about the quality we can achieve.
So many and where to start. As said tonight my life has taken me to fairly high places and very low places too. As if I can judge them! Well I can these days. So many good elements and the darker ones, they are there and need be, to show me the way to live and the difference between good and bad.
We need to experience whatever we encounter, and it is done best with a head as clear it can be. If we keep our central processors, our brains working as well as they may, we make better choices as we go in this life.
We get stuck in history, and looking to the future. We gamble on uncertainty and hope in some mad way to find a way of winning out living. As indeed life is about risk and gambling and taking chances, we are better to clearly understand what we may achieve.
Wishing something is nice in a moment, but living to wish life different is an obvious uncertainty and often made collaboration with luck and happenstance. If we wish it, we may get it. I suppose its what we wish for which matters.
Strength for me Today
Is simply being aware enough to know what next I may do. I may write some words, I may keep my head and body as well as they may function. I need to eat enough, and keep my records of how my endeavours are going. I need to be open to choices life offers as we go. Not in the sense of being foolhardy, just being able to respond to what and where, with who and why. So many opportunities are really there, once we let go what ails us, what is of no use in the truest sense.
Hope does spring eternal. The human capacity for hope needs just be tempered with reality. And we can make hope a reality. We need not rush too far off our path to know whether we are determined and making progress, or failing and just running ourselves down. We get to be good in our good conscience as we make our way in living and hoping.
Experience is all that life throws our way, once our battle is less a struggle and more a routine to good self-maintenance, we can be on a par with ordinary living and opportunity like everyone else. We are not special or different. At the same time, we need recognise our unique and authentic selves and that this life is the only one we need make work.
We can change ourselves if we need, if we feel enough pain, or we can stop reacting and start responding to choices we encounter on our journey. We are simply equipped, and suffer from wearing down and some repairs are just enough to keep us alive.
Living is making the most of what we may have. Not wondering and wishing and spending too much either in the past or the future in our imaginations and our memories. We need to clean house, we need to let other people do their living their way. We need simply find the happiest path to life as we can share it.
We can end our hopes and wishes and dreams by forgetting the simple rule of thumb. To live in this day, this ever present, present and imperfect moment of now.
As we make progress towards whatever we perceive as our destiny, it simply comes to a life lived, or a life squandered and not fulfilled. Every endeavour has virtue in it for the experience. Even an alcoholic can recognise the wonder of this world with sober eyes, a clear conscience, acceptance in how life is and forgiven for our vulnerable humanity. From insanity to ordinary, from madness to wonderment in the moment of now. How do we dream our dreams away? By simply living in the day we often get more than we expected and a life beyond our wildest dreams. For most of us have stared death in the face in our addictions, and now find living as close to reality as we may, more than we ever could bargain for in this world no matter how hard it becomes. We keep it simple for complicated minds like ours, there is an answer always.
Acceptance is the key :
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in our world by mistake. Until I could accept my humanity, I could not be complete in living; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
Amen to Good Conscience - a gift from Providence and Nature
December 16th 2005
this question is always there, how to validate. To support or corroborate on a sound or authoritative basis, who we are and what we are. There as so many challenges we face, we get confused and wonder at ourselves, our feelings and our reason. We often feel the need to check ourselves out. We need only look in a mirror once, and then we are hooked, checking and ensuring we portray who we are.
Or we don't because we reject what we see for some reason or another. Animals do it, they are fascinated by reflection, and so are human beings. We look and preen as nature intended, we look again and figure there is more to us than we see in the mirror.
At least we hope there is more than this thin veneer. Yet, so often we are challenged and assessed and codified in the blink of an eye. We do it to ourselves and we do it to others we meet. Not such a bad thing to do? Certainly we need that gumption in our minds eye, we need check for predators, we need check for danger and as important we check for safety.
We spend so much time in validation of others and ourselves. We take a split second preview and base a lifetime’s judgment on that assessment and then we seek to endorse that moment. In our validation we find, if we are to take expert testimony, our own, and that of the scientific world, proves assumptions made in that dramatic moment is usually right and by exception wrong.
So why is it we find our validation process off the mark, less than, and inferior? Simply we take what we see and then deny it, we shrug it off. We then exercise filters and factors we have learn which confuse and destroy that gift of perception. The gift nature gave to keep us from harm’s way. Smiles and take an endorsement out with you today and see the world trusts you and you trust yourself...
December 16th 2004
when we feel the world is against us, we are against the world
So often in life, we don't feel right with the world. Its as if someone or something is working against us. We cannot hear what is going on properly. We become separated from those around us as we try to work out what is wrong. These are times when we can forget how similar our feelings are to others who share the same feelings.
It can be a small start to this feeling of isolation, and it will grow in our imagination and sometimes take us over until we feel completely at odds with what is happening.
Anger and hurt are felt inside. And we may feel depressed and detached.
When the world is against us we need to find common ground and share it as soon as we can. We cannot sort out these feelings on our own. It is very normal to find oneself against the world. Its cause? When we desire things different to the way they are.
And a trusted friend, and talk about your feelings. We find we are never alone in life's frustrations, for thousands of years human beings have trodden the same path, a path so well worn, we can be sure someone out there can help us.
Just For Today And Every Day, Cherish Always...
“Awakening as the result of what? The result, or consequence of taking the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is a Spiritual Awakening. Please reflect that this step does not say the awakening comes as the result of taking steps 1 through 11, those preceding Step 12. On the contrary, the awakening comes as the result of taking these (all of the twelve) steps, including Step 12. (If you disagree, that is wonderful. Keep on digesting these steps.)” Big Book Bunch
December 2012 | Playlist About Step Twelve: Step Twelve Playlist
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve
AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections
December 2012 | Step Twelve Reading Video Link:
December 2012 | Video Reading How It Works:
December 2012 | Video Reading A Vision For You:
December 2012 | Video About Grief And Depression