Monday 30 April 2012

April 29 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 29 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "group autonomy…" Thank goodness the traditions are written to ensure that Fellowship groups in AA are the ultimate authority for the fellowship of AA. In other words groups are autonomous and share their views with the Fellowship via trusted servants… And everyone is a trusted servant each with an opinion and a voice as they choose…

Freedom of feeling leading to a particular way of thinking and actions which follow… Often the frustration of life and how it works around us will have thwarted our own personal liberties, how we felt about life and how we thought about life. And in the past a lot of my actions were about blotting out the truth about myself and my situation. A heartbreaking situation when we feel life just is not only difficult, it felt like it was impossible every day. Today I have more freedom than ever in recovery…

I am allowed to voice my feelings, my thoughts and take appropriate action which feels right for me. I still have an obligation when I am inside the Fellowship to speak for myself, and not for other people. This absolute truth can be undermined by me when I try to squeeze myself like a pretzel into other people's ideas and notions around personal conduct. Within the group or groups I attend I do observe and accept the group conscience at group level. And if I don't like the way the group is run, I can always find another group to belong to…

The similarities and not the differences always keep me coming back to Fellowship. I am fully aware the most important criteria for connection, inclusion and participation is a desire to be sober today. And then Re: anyone else, open honest and willing to be respectful of other peoples views be supportive and challenging if needed, but never bend people to fit my world or my will. The beauty of Fellowship, an anarchic democracy when it comes to group autonomy and personal choices. Tolerance and love is all part of how we as individuals learn to live together in Fellowship and also find our own path, our own opinion, our own belief system, sober one day at a time we just keep on learning how to live life in this amazing world of now…

On this day back in 2007, and what follows on the blog, I seem to emphasise the road to hell is paved with good intent, and as one person said on that day, "don't put my values on other people" is always a key in living in peace and harmony. It stops me judging what others do, and puts the responsibility firmly in place for me in how to live an emotional and spiritual recovery… Life is less complicated and I try keep it simple today…

Tolerance and love, forgive everyone everything in the moment of now, it is the best that they can be with what they have and what I have, because I certainly do tread on the toes of other people and need learn forgiveness every single day… And at the same time, we live the consequences of our actions each and every day…


DonInLondon 2005-2011

April 29 2007 Forgive Everybody Everything - DonInLondon ‘Day In the Life’

I am no saint I realise every day. And every day the judgment I make about so many elements of life, people, places and things. I wish it different and practice like most a form of denial and filtering to get my perceptions to square up to my feelings.

These days I need and hear wisdom from others most days on how to conduct myself on a daily basis, and really and truly I do need their wisdom and good intentions.

Good Intentions

We all have them and wonder often what we may to keep faith with ourselves. And last night taught me great dollops of forgiveness and acceptance. Forgiveness for my judging and judgments past and present, forgiveness for others and their steady progress to a spiritual path. In a judging world the path of spirituality is dogged as are we by perceptions and misgivings.

Today

Well today after a night of wondering and accepting and listening to my inner voice of judgement, a trip out to a meeting of my fellowship helped me greatly. I had been quite judgmental last night, about what is right for me and how I behave. And of course how others have their rights to judge and behave as they do..

"Don’t put my Values on Others"

The most important part of a message at the Flood Street meeting: A person with decades of recovery making a simple one liner in a chair of many elements and this was really what I needed to hear.

I do have my values, principles and ethics. My world is about transparency and not filtering and not denials of who and what I am. And in many ways it has been the best learning of last night how easy it is to assume what someone says is how they really are. And actually what they say is what they believe they are and not what they really are. The same is true of me too.

So no one is out of this fugue state in my guess at all of us who endeavour to find this spiritual path of living.

Progress indeed and not Perfection

A night like last night, a farewell event and a real event with much love and care. It was a good to be included and yet inside the inclusion I found exclusion and mishaps. Mishaps as others present themselves and mishaps in my estimation of connections and feelings.

Informed

I am better informed all ways today how love spans the decades, how changes and affiliations occur. How indeed families and friends and participants in living can easily assume and fall victim to their own codes and ethics. And of course denials of affiliation made profoundly will always dig deep into our spiritual reserves which in essence are just good for a day.

It is the harshest moment of all when we realise what is said in the spirit of honesty and care and love in its broadest sense is denied and shunned. The exclusion is complete in the intake of one breath, and the desire to be elsewhere is accepted on every level and every wish it were so. Exclusion born of denials and filters, misguided and misinformed, wreaks its gentle and pervasive toll on everything we have come to believe. And is then denied.

Filters and Denials

So deep and turgid, so transparent in a careless act of self-preservation and self-image, to project a connection which in actual fact is the essence of the truth. When such an event occurs we are best away and separate with cautious haste and disconnection. And suddenly the truth and the lie are the same, its realisation stings with a smack to our inner being, we reel and deny it and accept it all in a moment as we glimpse that insecure and elemental falsehood. And I see no need to repair of filter anymore a misguided lie to self.

So truly a spectacular path these last few weeks, as truth is burgeoning and falsehoods are slipping away.

Judge what is right for me

As do others without a moment’s hesitation and without the snap to hurt. Indeed they feel no hurt or sting. I have been blessed with truth. And being informed is the good news. I have had many dealings in recent weeks with distorted truths and falsehoods, not about me but around me. Of others trials and difficult moments: I am realising so much and so quickly and understanding the nature of vulnerable and people who fear their very own right to a life. And more that some so driven by self-obsession cannot break from the false nature and foundations of sand upon which they build their safe keep and castle walls.

Accept and Forgive and Let Go

Indeed the acceptance of the truth as we realise the false premise and deluded nature of some and how integrity shifts. There need be no blame, for we are part of the story. We need not let it continue as the fiction deprives our very being of spiritual growth. And our falseness undo’s any good done before.

We need let go and move on, be forgiving and find acceptance as our journey is made more open and half measure offer nothing but disturbance and inadequate connections. Lies beget and prevail as denial lays a trail to disquiet in our inner path. Sanctuary is complete in truth as we merely make progress to our journey in this one day.

"But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet,
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams"
-/- W.B. Yeats

AA Daily Reflection: GROUP AUTONOMY... Some may think that we have carried the principle of group autonomy to extremes. For example, in its original “long form,” Tradition Four declares: “Any two or three gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that as a group they have no other affiliation.” . . . . But this ultra-liberty is not so risky as it looks. A.A. COMES OF AGE, pp. 104-05
As an active alcoholic, I abused every liberty that life afforded. How could A.A. expect me to respect the “ultra-liberty” bestowed by Tradition Four? Learning respect has become a lifetime job. A.A. has made me fully accept the necessity of discipline and that, if I do not assert it from within, then I will pay for it. This applies to groups too. Tradition Four points me in a spiritual direction, in spite of my alcoholic inclinations.

Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
-/-
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
-/-

Sunday 29 April 2012

April 29 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 29 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "group autonomy…" Thank goodness the traditions are written to ensure that Fellowship groups in AA are the ultimate authority for the fellowship of AA. In other words groups are autonomous and share their views with the Fellowship via trusted servants… And everyone is a trusted servant each with an opinion and a voice as they choose…

Freedom of feeling leading to a particular way of thinking and actions which follow… Often the frustration of life and how it works around us will have thwarted our own personal liberties, how we felt about life and how we thought about life. And in the past a lot of my actions were about blotting out the truth about myself and my situation. A heartbreaking situation when we feel life just is not only difficult, it felt like it was impossible every day. Today I have more freedom than ever in recovery…

I am allowed to voice my feelings, my thoughts and take appropriate action which feels right for me. I still have an obligation when I am inside the Fellowship to speak for myself, and not for other people. This absolute truth can be undermined by me when I try to squeeze myself like a pretzel into other people's ideas and notions around personal conduct. Within the group or groups I attend I do observe and accept the group conscience at group level. And if I don't like the way the group is run, I can always find another group to belong to…

The similarities and not the differences always keep me coming back to Fellowship. I am fully aware the most important criteria for connection, inclusion and participation is a desire to be sober today. And then Re: anyone else, open honest and willing to be respectful of other peoples views be supportive and challenging if needed, but never bend people to fit my world or my will. The beauty of Fellowship, an anarchic democracy when it comes to group autonomy and personal choices. Tolerance and love is all part of how we as individuals learn to live together in Fellowship and also find our own path, our own opinion, our own belief system, sober one day at a time we just keep on learning how to live life in this amazing world of now…

On this day back in 2007, and what follows on the blog, I seem to emphasise the road to hell is paved with good intent, and as one person said on that day, "don't put my values on other people" is always a key in living in peace and harmony. It stops me judging what others do, and puts the responsibility firmly in place for me in how to live an emotional and spiritual recovery… Life is less complicated and I try keep it simple today…

Tolerance and love, forgive everyone everything in the moment of now, it is the best that they can be with what they have and what I have, because I certainly do tread on the toes of other people and need learn forgiveness every single day… And at the same time, we live the consequences of our actions each and every day…


DonInLondon 2005-2011

April 29 2007 Forgive Everybody Everything - DonInLondon ‘Day In the Life’

I am no saint I realise every day. And every day the judgment I make about so many elements of life, people, places and things. I wish it different and practice like most a form of denial and filtering to get my perceptions to square up to my feelings.

These days I need and hear wisdom from others most days on how to conduct myself on a daily basis, and really and truly I do need their wisdom and good intentions.

Good Intentions

We all have them and wonder often what we may to keep faith with ourselves. And last night taught me great dollops of forgiveness and acceptance. Forgiveness for my judging and judgments past and present, forgiveness for others and their steady progress to a spiritual path. In a judging world the path of spirituality is dogged as are we by perceptions and misgivings.

Today

Well today after a night of wondering and accepting and listening to my inner voice of judgement, a trip out to a meeting of my fellowship helped me greatly. I had been quite judgmental last night, about what is right for me and how I behave. And of course how others have their rights to judge and behave as they do..

"Don’t put my Values on Others"

The most important part of a message at the Flood Street meeting: A person with decades of recovery making a simple one liner in a chair of many elements and this was really what I needed to hear.

I do have my values, principles and ethics. My world is about transparency and not filtering and not denials of who and what I am. And in many ways it has been the best learning of last night how easy it is to assume what someone says is how they really are. And actually what they say is what they believe they are and not what they really are. The same is true of me too.

So no one is out of this fugue state in my guess at all of us who endeavour to find this spiritual path of living.

Progress indeed and not Perfection

A night like last night, a farewell event and a real event with much love and care. It was a good to be included and yet inside the inclusion I found exclusion and mishaps. Mishaps as others present themselves and mishaps in my estimation of connections and feelings.

Informed

I am better informed all ways today how love spans the decades, how changes and affiliations occur. How indeed families and friends and participants in living can easily assume and fall victim to their own codes and ethics. And of course denials of affiliation made profoundly will always dig deep into our spiritual reserves which in essence are just good for a day.

It is the harshest moment of all when we realise what is said in the spirit of honesty and care and love in its broadest sense is denied and shunned. The exclusion is complete in the intake of one breath, and the desire to be elsewhere is accepted on every level and every wish it were so. Exclusion born of denials and filters, misguided and misinformed, wreaks its gentle and pervasive toll on everything we have come to believe. And is then denied.

Filters and Denials

So deep and turgid, so transparent in a careless act of self-preservation and self-image, to project a connection which in actual fact is the essence of the truth. When such an event occurs we are best away and separate with cautious haste and disconnection. And suddenly the truth and the lie are the same, its realisation stings with a smack to our inner being, we reel and deny it and accept it all in a moment as we glimpse that insecure and elemental falsehood. And I see no need to repair of filter anymore a misguided lie to self.

So truly a spectacular path these last few weeks, as truth is burgeoning and falsehoods are slipping away.

Judge what is right for me

As do others without a moment’s hesitation and without the snap to hurt. Indeed they feel no hurt or sting. I have been blessed with truth. And being informed is the good news. I have had many dealings in recent weeks with distorted truths and falsehoods, not about me but around me. Of others trials and difficult moments: I am realising so much and so quickly and understanding the nature of vulnerable and people who fear their very own right to a life. And more that some so driven by self-obsession cannot break from the false nature and foundations of sand upon which they build their safe keep and castle walls.

Accept and Forgive and Let Go

Indeed the acceptance of the truth as we realise the false premise and deluded nature of some and how integrity shifts. There need be no blame, for we are part of the story. We need not let it continue as the fiction deprives our very being of spiritual growth. And our falseness undo’s any good done before.

We need let go and move on, be forgiving and find acceptance as our journey is made more open and half measure offer nothing but disturbance and inadequate connections. Lies beget and prevail as denial lays a trail to disquiet in our inner path. Sanctuary is complete in truth as we merely make progress to our journey in this one day.

"But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet,
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams"
-/- W.B. Yeats

AA Daily Reflection: GROUP AUTONOMY... Some may think that we have carried the principle of group autonomy to extremes. For example, in its original “long form,” Tradition Four declares: “Any two or three gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that as a group they have no other affiliation.” . . . . But this ultra-liberty is not so risky as it looks. A.A. COMES OF AGE, pp. 104-05
As an active alcoholic, I abused every liberty that life afforded. How could A.A. expect me to respect the “ultra-liberty” bestowed by Tradition Four? Learning respect has become a lifetime job. A.A. has made me fully accept the necessity of discipline and that, if I do not assert it from within, then I will pay for it. This applies to groups too. Tradition Four points me in a spiritual direction, in spite of my alcoholic inclinations.

Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6ZjNH5tlb8
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
-/-
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
-/-

Saturday 28 April 2012

April 28 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 28 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "two magnificent standards, humility and responsibility…" Over the years in my life, when it came to humility and responsibility I realise now I either overplayed or underestimated with regard to humility and responsibility. Finding the balance was never easy until I became more aware that these were elements of living…

In order to achieve some sort of balanced outlook, understanding boundaries, understanding what we can and cannot do and having the courage to change is truly difficult. Nobody comes with a set of instructions, how to live life and if we did, I don't know there would be much point. Ground rules change, people places and things are constantly changing. With humility, that is continuous learning and taking responsibility for our own actions, we do find balance in life and it is tolerable on a daily basis…

And life can be so much more as we learn what humility is and how to be humble in our outlook, simply open, honest and willing to change. Acceptance is not stagnation, it's a beginning as each moment passes and life continues. Taking responsibility for my actions, what I can do and cannot do makes life a lot clearer. And there are no set rules or laws or regulations that hold us back, but we need observe and be a part of changing rules, laws and regulations or as we say in Fellowship, suggestions which keep us on track with integrity today…

Humility and responsibility will always offer time out to take a reality check. Each time we check out reality, we need reference reality with other people and be assured that the path or journey we are on is not in direct conflict with our principles of being open, honest and willing in our approach, fair dealing and behaving and living with an attitude of integrity…

Coming to the end of April and the focus of the AA daily reflections being step four, our fearless moral inventory so we fear less. A constant reminder to me, expectations are resentments under construction. If I ever feel blame towards others, a look in the mirror with humility and responsibility I can see my part. And the expression, "what have I done to deserve this?" Nobody deserves bad fortune or has a right to good fortune… Today, is what it is…


DonInLondon 2005-2011

In recovery, we can live with live less denial of reality, learn more about how to develop our courage, learn from fear, face the truth ~ Thomas S. Monson "The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and trial with humility" knowing what we need and less wanting...

Humility and learning is the foundation recovery. Learning, how to be equal in living with everyone, inside and outside fellowship. Being responsible for our actions and endeavours. Living to good conscience is being "open, honest and willing," and truthful and fair in our dealings with everyone. Always progress and never perfect accepting life on life's terms, we do have freedom of choice today...

April 28 2007

Fellowship A way of Living DonInLondon ‘Day In the Life’

Pain: physical and emotional, all part of life. Today has been one of those days where pain from overdoing the walking has really caused me to slow down and be careful. Not a very edifying way to start a journal page maybe, yet true. So its feels right to mention the impact it has had. Less able and less walking and severe back pains.

In the spite of or because of I did get out to meet a friend at the end of the road. At the end of my street is Earls Court Road. Full of places to meet and share time. In a coffee shop not far away, we had a couple of hours to chat about life and things in general. As part of the meet I was asked to cover what the twelve steps of AA do for me, and you can hear all about it on the video.

It’s good to be out and doing. And get away from the frustration of pain. Apparently I was very off colour when I met up with my friend. Unnamed as he is in the fellowship, but you know who you are and will be reading this maybe in the morning!

Anyway we had a great couple of hours and liked time to have my say and so did he. We have common problems in some respects, with this whole notion of letting go of hurts and painful experiences. Don’t we all?

And there is something that Ego provides when we are being made to feel the pain, it offers denials and filters and the how dare this be happening feelings. It’s the "I can’t believe it" moments which are part of the denial of truth when truth is hard to get to grips with.

Truth and Reality, the most important elements we need be aware of, and yet we have processes of denial to help us deal with them. Denial is a very useful process for us to come to terms with loss mostly, when we feel loss of people its intense and so denial breaks things down till we find acceptance somewhere along the way.

Tonight

A particularly good share from a person doing the chair for the first time, well for me it was. Sharing the truth of what it’s like to see ourselves in all our good and bad parts. The good of recovery is we live better and deal with life the universe and everything so much more evenly and without outrage or intense highs which are impossible to maintain.

And the "Chair" had been a counsellor like me in some respects and done all sorts to make life work, had become addicted and dependent on alcohol and had similar experiences. And this is the reason for listening, to hear others and what they did, how they made use of getting sober and making life work again. This is fellowship we hear the way out of the pain of addiction.

Living In Fellowship

When we truly live in fellowship we find peace. We also find some people we are naturally drawn to and others who may want more from us than is good for either them or us.

I have many experiences of life, like so many in the fellowship which involve making life work, and at the same time we may be moving on to new living. Sometimes with the best will in the world we need stop our old living, like counselling and get on with other projects. Burn out for me in counselling and the big life of years ago, well it really does me no good to utilise experiences which led to burn out in the past, and truthfully there is only so much we can do before its detrimental to making our own life work at all.

So gone are some opportunities for engagement, and when this is realised, the nature of connection for some diminishes and the attitude of me being a utility makes the end happen sooner than they may have wished. Often people try befriending not just because it’s what we believe we are best to do, they do it unconsciously to get help and use others. Using others is enriching from the users point of view, it’s not much fun for those so utilised, like me in this case. Resentment is in the mind of the "utilizers" still, I have seen these past few days. They are not my friends and can only have so much of me. We need not be dragged down by others and their obsessions. We can assist them out and then maybe see what next if friendship is natural and obvious for both in the relationship.

Friendships in and out of Fellowship

Making friends where it matters are unconditional encounters with purpose and fellowship, not utility, like this morning, two friends sharing and sorting out life. Where we share and find equality. Nothing to prove just banter and chat and some serious stuff, and if you read this GD you know its true, smiles here as GD may read this some hours after writing. You know who you are!

Inside and outside my connections and friendship develop as they do in normal life. Some become closer and some distant. Some just have time and around a particular set of issues. And some distant friends we keep in touch with because of mutuality and outlook. Some who would be friends can join in, when self-obsession is less and life becomes more straightforward.

Utility can be so unhelpful when someone wants and another does not need go backwards. We are not commodities and sometimes we are so driven by our imperatives we forget our way of life is just so different connections can be chalk and cheese.

Spirit of Fellowship

In the spirit of fellowship I do help and support as much as I can and then I can only go so far before it is truly detrimental and then as I loose grip on reality so too I lose my connection to life. Burning out is not pleasant and not to be a part of my future adventures I trust. And I get feedback from those who know me well enough.

Why so important for me to share these words tonight. Well someone was present today who ignored me, and is in the category of acquaintance and user. I am relieved I find. As truth often means some connections are lost. And this feels neither good or bad, it does not feel. Knowing the silence is there is acceptance for me. I am sad maybe, maybe not. And tonight is does not make me feel bad or good. Letting go, another element when we have no real connection at all. And more easy than letting go the hates and resentments had it continued into day to day living. We can only do so much and there are excellent services out there willing to be engaged as any utility can be. Less so for me these days.

Have compassion and good conscience been disturbed in these let go processes? Of course and I am human like anyone and need take account of others pain. I need not live it, and the wisdom is do what makes a difference and be compassionate, and ensure we are not pulled into the murk of confluence. It will feel harsh as the silence is acceptance of dislocations. Life is never easy and we have this one only to make the best of what we may.

And enough for today, silence can be golden…
-/-
AA Daily Reflection: TWO "MAGNIFICENT STANDARDS" All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 271
To acknowledge and respect the views, accomplishments and prerogatives of others and to accept being wrong shows me the way of humility. To practice the principles of A.A. in all my affairs guides me to be responsible. Honouring these precepts gives credence to Tradition Four–and to all other Traditions of the Fellowship. Alcoholics Anonymous has evolved a philosophy of life full of valid motivations, rich in highly relevant principles and ethical values, a view of life which can be extended beyond the confines of the alcoholic population. To honour these precepts I need only to pray, and care for my fellow man as if each one were my brother.


Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
-/-
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
-/-

Friday 27 April 2012

April 27 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 27 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "joyful discoveries…" Some days are full of joyful discoveries in recovery, and some days are full of very sad discoveries. Joyful or sad, the ability to keep on learning life on an emotional and spiritual level provides great opportunity to keep on learning how to live life just for today…

Nobody said it was going to be easy, and nobody had any answers for me. At the same time after two score years on the planet, finding myself between a rock and a hard place, I became more malleable than ever, more able to accept that my life was out of control and I needed to start learning how to live all over again. I feel progress might have been easier if I had said to myself, "I need to learn how to love, be loved back and useful just for today…"

When it comes to recovery, there are no hiding places, and there is no way to bend the truth of where we end up with our addictions. Rock bottom can be being revived from near death, can be desolation sitting on the most expensive furniture, can be the excoriating pain of withdrawal. Our bones were rattling towards death…

In the hardest of times, whatever the criteria for judging the hardest days, one thing keeps me going, that I am sober today and just for today. Anything can happen in the next 24-hour's, if I can keep faith with myself and ask the help when I need it, the outcomes are likely to be far better than thinking I have to solve everything by myself, that was one of my failings, unable and unwilling to ask for help in case I offended anyone…

How far down do we have to go? I feel most people get to a place where they feel there is no redemption and we are no longer worthy of being reclaimed. We are so angry at ourselves and resentful, and having judged ourselves so badly the notion of recovery is a distant and faded hope. The self inflicted wound of addiction so deep, no wonder we need work on our courage, faith and confidence on a daily basis, or we are in danger of sliding backwards moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day…

This is why the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous provides me with support, from the learning we get daily, from contact we get daily, understanding complete self-reliance means we are less likely to learn the solutions. By asking for help, there will always be more solutions than we may have first thought. Fellowship has taught me day in and day out I need ask for help, a reality check when I think I know the answers and a reality check when I don't know the answers, no matter where we ask the help, it means we are open, honest and willing to try live as best we can today…

And today I feel more able to love, be loved back and useful as each day unfolds…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

2007 ~ Hope… There is always hope when we are often most in despair as we hear others share how they are making gentle steps in recovery. Nobody is competing? Well maybe some are somehow. Yet there is no merit in being the best recovered alcoholic in the world. And finding someone who might feel they are the best recovering alcoholic is truly a misunderstanding and only happens now and then. And when we stop judging others and comparing ourselves, the peace and harmony is palpable. As we find ourselves in the moment of now.

Spiritual ~ So often when we seek a Holy Grail, where we want the truth of life and living. As if it is some big secret… The truth is simply there for us to live in this ever present, present moment of now, the true connection to life, and our spiritual connection so overlooked we cannot see or perceive when we have denial and filters in place. Spiritual, not gifted by Guru’s or diligence or intellect is simply being and letting every being be as nature and providence have enabled. Elusive and ephemeral, the spiritual connection, the Grail ever present in everyone who has connection to this very moment and every moment life is gifted and spent on this earth.
-/-
AA Daily Reflection: We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 164
Sobriety is a journey of joyful discovery. Each day brings new experience, awareness, greater hope, deeper faith, broader tolerance. I must maintain these attributes or I will have nothing to pass on. Great events for this recovering alcoholic are the normal everyday joys found in being able to live another day in God’s grace.
-/-
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
-/-
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
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Thursday 26 April 2012

April 26 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 26 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "happiness is not the point…" And another quote from our literature in Fellowship: "we are not a glum lot…" This reminds me of my early years on the planet, up to the age of about 17, I certainly had started the journey of looking for meaning in life, and I was so confused…

Living in recovery for quite a while and having more time to reflect on the meaning of life, it truly is never the destination, it is the journey we have one day at a time. It's no longer about me…

"The best laid plans of mice and men…" Robert Burns 1785… In essence sums up the point that the past cannot be changed and the future is unknown, and the only place we make a difference is in the present moment. What happens now is dependent on our mood, how we are feeling right now which then impacts greatly on our thinking and what actions we take. Our feelings, how to love and be loved back, inclusion and empathy will always help guide us today…

A ramshackle type of day yesterday, listening and watching the antics of politicians in the UK, their cohorts and their persistence in living half truth lives. I needed to see it as a reminder of what I never want to be again… Progress not perfect, sometimes the imperfections in me are what I see in others. So I'm not picking up any stones to throw, I need simply work with what works in an open, honest and willing way and just for today…

DonInLondon 2005-2011
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AA Daily Reflection: HAPPINESS IS NOT THE POINT I don’t think happiness or unhappiness is the point. How do we meet the problems we face? How do we best learn from them and transmit what we have learned to others, if they would receive the knowledge? AS BILL SEES IT, p. 306
In my search “to be happy,” I changed jobs, married and divorced, took geographical cures, and ran myself into debt–financially, emotionally and spiritually. In A.A., I’m learning to grow up. Instead of demanding that people, places and things make me happy, I can ask God for self-acceptance. When a problem overwhelms me, A.A.’s Twelve Steps will help me grow through the pain. The knowledge I gain can be a gift to others who suffer with the same problem. As Bill said, “When pain comes, we are expected to learn from it willingly, and help others to learn. When happiness comes, we accept it as a gift, and thank God for it.”
-/-
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
-/-
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
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Wednesday 25 April 2012

April 25 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 25 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "entering a new dimension" and another quote "I am free and I am grateful." After many years of working hard at everything, I found it difficult to enjoy anything. Entering a new dimension for me turned out to be learning how to live in the moment of now, and the best dimension is the ever present present imperfectly perfect moment of now where everything happens…

There were many difficult years where I really had no clue what my emotions were, the feelings suppressed and mistaken. I tried to fill in the blanks by copying what other people seemed to find joyful and happy. At the same time I was never quite sure what these elements of life called feelings were. Today I have more of a clue by practising and asking myself how am I feeling, why and what to do. It takes very little time to work out what my mood is, how it will influence my thinking and what actions are possible just for today…

Oddly, when I was growing up, the notion of conforming to other people's ideas and ways of living just did not appeal to me. And a bit like James Dean, I wanted and needed to be a rebel, with or without a cause, as long as I was rebellious against authority. Yet somehow over the years, from my mid teens I was worn down, losing my sense of purpose and lacked understanding about how to live life. Thankfully I'm back to being a learner about what life may be and experience it as it is, just for today…

"I'm free and I am grateful…" From as Bill sees it. A well worn adage "an attitude of gratitude." An attitude is something we develop as we learn about life, and what seemed like a cheesy statement or adage, the attitude of gratitude is something which develops through time on a daily basis. Another sober day for a person in recovery is the most important element which helps us cope with reality or simply learn to cope with reality. Living reality "keep it real" also helps me deal with wonderful dreams, flights and fantasies and of course the odd nightmare one day at a time…


DonInLondon 2005-2011

AA Daily Reflection: ENTERING A NEW DIMENSION In the late stages of our drinking, the will to resist has fled. Yet when we admit complete defeat and when we become entirely ready to try A.A. principles, our obsession leaves us and we enter a new dimension – freedom under God as we understand Him. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 283
I am fortunate to be among the ones who have had this awesome transformation in my life. When I entered the doors of A.A., alone and desperate, I had been beaten into willingness to believe anything I heard. One of the things I heard was, “This could be your last hangover, or you can keep going round and round.” The man who said this obviously was a whole lot better off than I. I liked the idea of admitting defeat and I have been free ever since! My heart heard what my mind never could: “Being powerless over alcohol is no big deal.” I’m free and I’m grateful!
-/-
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

Step 4 "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
-/-
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service

Tuesday 24 April 2012

April 24 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 24 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "learning to love ourselves…" The Beatles song, "all you need is love," and it's easy when we keep it simple, and yet love in its simplicity, and acceptance of love, I and many made it so complicated and so conditional upon?

I feel for most of my life, the concept or the simple understanding of love seemed to evade me. Unconditional love is seen in expression and we learned, if we were lucky from our family community and society. And yet when I was growing up, the expression of love in its simplicity did not seem to be present, or if it was I could not recognise it. To express love for another opens the door to the deepest vulnerability and fear when we do not understand that love has no conditions attached…

And the idea of learning to love ourselves without conditions is very difficult in a world which is hell-bent on assessing who we are, what we can do and then judge it over and over and over again. Unconditional love and acceptance of being a human who needs to keep on learning life, needs to keep on making new ventures, some will work some will not, and accepting there are things we cannot change and having the courage to change the things we can. Usually we need most to have faith, courage and confidence to wake up each day and start afresh…

Our thorough self-appraisal, the step four "fearless moral inventory" is all about learning to live with less fear and learn how to find strength in not knowing and not trying to control outcomes, simply live the best it can be one day at a time. Often when we look at other people and their mistakes, or simply their emotional and spiritual progress, in good conscience and with love we can be so forgiving. If we can get near to even a small percentage of that forgiveness we afford to others, then there is potential to let go and become our own best friend. Humility is not self-effacing, humility is accepting that will have a right to be here and including ourselves in life, and we need keep learning life, one day at a time…
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AA Daily Reflection: LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELVES Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded by people who loved us… We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or by being dependent upon others . . . We still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 252
When I did my personal inventory I found that I had unhealthy relationships with most people in my life-my friends and family, for example. I always felt isolated and lonely. I drank to dull emotional pain. It was through staying sober, having a good sponsor and working the Twelve Steps that I was able to build up my low self-esteem. First the Twelve Steps taught me to become my own best friend, and then, when I was able to love myself, I could reach out and love others.
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Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
-/-
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
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Monday 23 April 2012

April 23 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 23 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "AA is not a cure all…" Yes indeed, AA is not a cure-all, at the same time I have found that Fellowship provides twelve steps towards freedom of choice based on reality as it is on any given day in any given moment…

Whatever path we choose which keeps us sober is worth exploring. Just because the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous works for me, it does not mean automatically that it is going to work for you. You and I have many similarities if you are an alcoholic. As one can read, one Co-founder, Bill, realised there are many elements to living in recovery and being able to maintain recovery one day at a time. In my own experience, "keeping it simple" on a daily basis, often means that getting to the solution of sobriety can be quite complicated...

Why does the emotional and spiritual program of the twelve steps work? It works every day, because the twelve steps have helped me understand my feelings which drive my thinking and my actions. Encounters on a daily basis are more understandable when we know and recognise how we are feeling, how feeling impacts on our thinking and what actions follow. And spiritual is living reality in the imperfectly perfect moment of now, and it matters not whether I believe in God, or I am an atheist or an agnostic. I am responsible for my actions in sobriety, and often I need let go and ask the help in any given moment…

Step four, helping me to deal with past emotional knots and tangles so deep I just suppressed everything, has helped me perceive and then find serenity is possible every day. And the serenity I experience is based on understanding the serenity prayer, to God or in good conscience as you choose as an individual, "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Contingent on this reminder in any given moment, serenity is the experience I have and hopefully most of today…


DonInLondon 2005-2011

Step 4: "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." We want to uncover the truth about ourselves. We want to discover the attitudes, thoughts, beliefs, fears, actions, behaviours, and the behaviour patterns - that have been blocking us, causing us problems and causing our failure.

Open To Truth, Love And Wisdom of Others [we let go being righteous, self obsessed and self medicating our lives into oblivion]
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Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
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AA Daily Reflection: AA IS NOT A CURE-ALL... It would be a product of false pride to claim that A.A. is a cure-all, even for alcoholism. As Bill Sees It, p285
In my early years of sobriety I was full of pride, thinking that A.A. was the only source of treatment for a good and happy life. It certainly was the basic ingredient for my sobriety and even today, with over twelve years in the program, I am very involved in meetings, sponsorship and service. During the first four years of my recovery, I found it necessary to seek professional help, since my emotional health was extremely poor. There are those folks too, who have found sobriety and happiness in other organizations. A.A. taught me that I had a choice: to go to any lengths to enhance my sobriety. A.A. may not be a cure-all for everything, but it is the centre of my sober living.
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Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
-/-

Sunday 22 April 2012

April 22 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 22 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "new soil… New roots." "Roots of reality, supplanting the neurotic underbrush." I enjoyed reading this reflection this morning, every day really is a new beginning about the reality of now and serenity in a spiritual sense, is coping with what happens next, right now in the imperfectly perfect moment of now…

April, all about step four in the AA daily reflections helps me and reminds me of just how muddled my outlook was at the end of my last drink… Every element of me turned inside out, coming out of oblivion into the harshest days. Not the harshest days of my life, the harshest days were not lost in time, they were relived over and over and were of grief and loss and heartbreak fuelled by alcohol and extremes of feeling I just could not handle…

In recovery we do not forget how difficult it was to be a newcomer to sobriety. I remember waking up one morning and the usual feeling of "fear we go again, or rather here we go again." I opened the curtains to a blast of sunlight, staggering backwards and falling onto the bed, a bottle of vodka next to me and another in the fridge… In my head my inner voice said, "I cannot do this on my own and it can get no worse." It did get worse, but I realised I needed help and I asked for it… And the answers was yes.

Step four, a self appraisal to help me fear life less, a fearless moral inventory. I was so full of shame and guilt, not wanting to make life difficult for anyone else ever again. I had heard my doctor say I needed to forgive myself on several occasions for being ill. The harshness I felt towards myself and my failure was a death sentence. Left to my own judgement and without help I would have perished…

In recent times, connecting with newcomers and reconnecting with very human human beings who have come back to recovery reminds me just how important tolerance, love and forgiveness need be. Anyone can be overwhelmed by life, find themselves in the most difficult circumstances and just say, "to hell with it!" And there we are in hell. I don't need to judge anyone living in hell or how they got there, I just need help them and if I cannot help myself, I try find a way to connect them with those who can…


DonInLondon 2005-2011
How we respond to the truth of now helps define us and helps us make best choices ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson "This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it" -/- Truth, love and wisdom of others, constant companions if we choose, with our eyes open..

Living In Reality, the purpose of the 12 steps: We learn powerless over alcohol and our unmanageability, being restored to sanity with help, how to let go and let in good choices and then our inventory of “back then”, so we may progress and “live in the now,” as our attitudes and behaviours change to responding to truth and needs rather than wants and fantasy...
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AA Daily Reflection: NEW SOIL . . . NEW ROOTS Moments of perception can build into a lifetime of spiritual serenity, as I have excellent reason to know. Roots of reality, supplanting the neurotic underbrush, will hold fast despite the high winds of the forces which would destroy us, or which we would use to destroy ourselves. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 173
I came to A.A. green–a seedling quivering with exposed taproots. It was for survival but it was a beginning. I stretched, developed, twisted, but with the help of others, my spirit eventually burst up from the roots. I was free. I acted, withered, went inside, prayed, acted again, understood anew, as one moment of perception struck. Up from my roots, spirit-arms lengthened into strong, green shoots: high-springing servants stepping skyward. Here on earth God unconditionally continues the legacy of higher love. My A.A. life put me “on a different footing. . . [my] roots grasped a new soil.”
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As Bill Sees It ~ Beneath the Surface... Some will object to many of the questions that should be answered in a moral inventory, because they think their own character defects have not been so glaring. To these, it can be suggested that a conscientious examination is likely to reveal the very defects the objectionable questions are concerned with.
Because our surface record hasn't looked too bad, we have frequently been abashed to find that this is so simply because we have buried these self same defects deep down in us under thick layers of self justification. Those were the defects that finally ambushed us into alcoholism and misery. TWELVE AND TWELVE, PP. 53-54
As Bill Sees It ~ 319 Two Authorities Many people wonder how A.A. can function under a seeming anarchy. Other societies have to have law and force and sanction and punishment, administered by authorized people. Happily for us, we found that we need no human authorities which are far more effective. One is benign, the other malign. There is God, our Father, who very simply says, "I am waiting for you to do my will." The other authority is named John Barleycorn, and he says, "You had better do God's will or I will kill you."
-/-
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
The A.A. Traditions are neither rules, regulations, nor laws. We obey them willingly because we want to. Perhaps the secret of their power lies in the fact that these life-giving communications spring out of living experience and are rooted in love. 1. A.A. COMES OF AGE, P. 105
-/-

Saturday 21 April 2012

April 21 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 21 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "cultivating faith…" I know my faith was severely challenged over the years and so it is one of my shortcomings, simply a lack of faith. My other shortcomings in particular were; courage to change and self-esteem, the confidence to try do the next right thing on daily basis…

I do believe that faith can be cultivated, it just depends on your particular faith and some of us start from scratch when we get to recovery. It can be simple faith in building a new life and having the courage to change and letting our self confidence grow naturally. The matter of faith when it comes to religion, believer, a person who believes in God, agnostic, a person who doesn't know and atheist, someone who does not believe in God. Personal faith in religious terms need be a free choice. The good news in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, building faith in one's own abilities, courage to change and self-confidence is entirely possible with the twelve steps and the twelve traditions to help us find our path one day at a time…

"Spiritual experiences" are talked about frequently when we find our path of sobriety. Spirituality for me is very clear, it is the ability to utilise all our senses to the best we can and see reality, reality being the good and the bad and the ugly of life just as it is in the moment of now. Coping with reality is the best spiritual experience and developing our confidence, our courage and faith to live well as we can one day at a time…

"Tolerance and love" are absolutely key in living spiritually. If we are religious, if we are atheist and if we are agnostic, we need to be tolerant and loving around our personal choices and equally tolerant and loving with our fellows and their choices. We stop judging ourselves and our choices as being better than the choices of everyone around us, faith and belief are part of our personal development in life, living in unity in the community, one day at a time…

Chatting with new friends, in a different and completely separate connection. Three out of four of us turned out to be in recovery, from a fifth year to a 35th year veteran! Seeing a person at 35 years sober, a comfortable individual who really knows themselves one day at a time, I can see the beauty of tolerance and love. Unity service and recovery are all part of what makes fellowship work one day at a time. In truth, we as individuals are as sober as we may be today and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous remains as good at it gets, good bad and ugly one day at a time…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

How we respond to the truth of now helps define us and helps us make best choices ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson "This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it" -/- Truth, love and wisdom of others, constant companions if we choose, with our eyes open..

Living In Reality, the purpose of the 12 steps: We learn powerless over alcohol and our unmanageability, being restored to sanity with help, how to let go and let in good choices and then our inventory of “back then”, so we may progress and “live in the now,” as our attitudes and behaviours change to responding to truth and needs rather than wants and fantasy..
-/-
AA Daily Reflection: Daily Reflections ~ CULTIVATING FAITH... “I don’t think we can do anything very well in this world unless we practice it. And I don’t believe we do A.A. too well unless we practice it. . . . We should practice . . . acquiring the spirit of service. We should attempt to acquire some faith, which isn’t easily done, especially for the person who has always been very materialistic, following the standards of society today. But I think faith can be acquired; it can be acquired slowly; it has to be cultivated. That was not easy for me, and I assume that it is difficult for everyone else… ” Doctor Bob and the Good Oldtimers, page 307-308

Fear is often the force that prevents me from acquiring and cultivating the power of faith. Fear blocks my appreciation of beauty, tolerance, forgiveness, service, and serenity. A.A., and God, are teaching me how to care about others.
-/-
As Bill Sees It ~ Beneath the Surface... Some will object to many of the questions that should be answered in a moral inventory, because they think their own character defects have not been so glaring. To these, it can be suggested that a conscientious examination is likely to reveal the very defects the objectionable questions are concerned with.

Because our surface record hasn't looked too bad, we have frequently been abashed to find that this is so simply because we have buried these selfsame defects deep down in us under thick layers of selfjustification. Those were the defects that finally ambushed us into alcoholism and misery. TWELVE AND TWELVE, PP. 53-54

As Bill Sees It ~ 319 Two Authorities Many people wonder how A.A. can function under a seeming anarchy. Other societies have to have law and force and sanction and punishment, administered by authorized people. Happily for us, we found that we need no human authorities which are far more effective. One is benign, the other malign. There is God, our Father, who very simply says, "I am waiting for you to do my will." The other authority is named John Barlicorn, and he says, "You had better do God's will or I will kill you."
-/-
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6ZjNH5tlb8
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
The A.A. Traditions are neither rules, regulations, nor laws. We obey them willingly because we want to. Perhaps the secret of their power lies in the fact that these life-giving communications spring out of living experience and are rooted in love. 1. A.A. COMES OF AGE, P. 105
-/-
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
-/-

Friday 20 April 2012

April 20 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 20 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "self examination…" Self appraisal has become very popular in many workplaces, and often this is enhanced when we get feedback from others about how we are doing…

"Yes but no but yes, there was a reason for it!" The most cumbersome part of any self appraisal, the fearless moral inventory in step four, the spot check inventory on any given day is always influenced by our own attitudes and outlook. And self appraisal is very difficult at the best of times. We can appeal to our good conscience "God" and also ask for feedback from someone who has no axe to grind. We can always ask the help on any given day…

Our ability to listen in early recovery is very difficult. And as time goes by we learn what it is to listen to the world, people in difficult places talking about difficult things, and when it is about us it is all the more difficult. Recent conversations with friends in recovery made it clear that the more we talk about what is going on truths, our experience strength and hope in the moment of now, truth with others helps others be truthful with us…

We are always our own worst critic. And the critic inside us will be harsher and more prejudiced than anyone else in my experience. And when that critic, the one inside us starts talking loudly, we cannot hear and listen to the world. And the worst of it can be that we forget, "what people think of me is none of my business" is forgotten. We start judging who we can trust, when in fact we will be judged anyway. Step four and step five is about letting go and self forgiveness, and what the world chooses to do in judging the truth of us, it works to our benefit. Those who love us will, those who don't love us will drift away…

"What will people think of me if I tell the truth and share my experience strength and hope, about my life, how it was back in the day and how it is today?" I do strive to be open honest and willing to live life and share the truth of me. This is how recovery works for me. And another conversation recently, a person feared sharing their truth until they got the meeting. They shared their truth, and they helped another alcoholic to share the truth with them. One person's openness helped another person open up about their nightmare. The other person with a nightmare may never share their calamity and that is their choice, but at least my friend who was able to share helped another person in their recovery on that particular day…

I do believe the truth will always help us find peace and serenity. False pride, shame and guilt may stop many from sharing truth and that's okay. And fear of what other people think, this is very disabling whenever it happens, at the same time it must be a personal choice, my hope is that we develop the courage, faith and confidence to be truthful with ourselves so we may help others. Some things may be never known to others for many many reasons and it is a person's choice what they choose to share to help anyone anywhere who needs help in recovery. Step four being thorough and fearless, helps us let go what we think of ourselves, encouraging love and tolerance and an open outlook. And we need not fear what other people think of us, and those who love us most will give us the feedback we need and hopefully in the day when most needed…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Recovery, all about being on the happy road of desitiny, a caution? ~ G. K. Chesterton "New roads; new ruts" -/- Out of the problem and into the solution, from ego to esteem, from no choices, to choices, from nothing to something, as we are included, as reality offers, just for today...

From living in fear, putting on a brave face, using a thin veneer of ego and beset by problems, to having courage, faith and confidence, living in the solution is progress to good choices. Whatever we face, hard times or good times, if we can be included, make choices and find fellowship, our needs most likely met, less driven by wants, life works...
-/-
AA Daily Reflection: Daily Reflections ~ SELF-EXAMINATION... We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.86
When said sincerely, this prayer teaches me to be truly unselfish and humble, for even in doing good deeds I often used to seek approval and glory for myself. By examining my motives in all that I do, I can be of service to God and others, helping them do what they want to to. When I put God in charge of my thinking, much needless worry is eliminated and I believe He guides me throughout the day. When I elimate thoughts of self-pity, dishonesty and self-centeredness as soon as they enter my mind, I find peace with God, my neighbor and myself.
-/-
As Bill Sees It ~ We Need Outside Help... It was evident that a solitary self-appraisal, and the admission of our defects based upon that alone, wouldn't be nearly enough. We'd have to have outside help if we were surely to know and admit the truth about ourselves -- the help of God and of another human being. Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by being willing to take advice and accept direction could we set foot on the road to straight thinking, solid honesty, and genuine humility.
If we are fooling ourselves, a competent adviser can see this quickly. And, as he skillfully guides us away from our fantasies, we are surprised to find that we have few of the usual urges to defend ourselves against unpleasant truths. In no other way can fear, pride, and ignorance be so readily melted. After a time, we realize that we are standing firm on a brand-new foundation for integrity, and we gratefully credit our sponsors, whose advice pointed the way. 1. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 59 2. GRAPEVINE, AUGUST 1961

As Bill Sees It ~ 319 Two Authorities Many people wonder how A.A. can function under a seeming anarchy. Other societies have to have law and force and sanction and punishment, administered by authorized people. Happily for us, we found that we need no human authorities which are far more effective. One is benign, the other malign. There is God, our Father, who very simply says, "I am waiting for you to do my will." The other authority is named John Barlicorn, and he says, "You had better do God's will or I will kill you."
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I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
-/-
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-

Thursday 19 April 2012

April 19 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 19 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "brothers in our defects…" Another way of looking at this statement can be the extremes of feeling we experience, when we are stuck in the malady, or not feeling anything being another extreme and the desire for oblivion rather than reality and completely unable to stop hurting ourselves day in and day out…

Another part of the reading for today reads as, "the identification of that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spiritual – almost incomprehensible, but it is there, I feel it." Through time in Fellowship there is nothing mysterious about the way we identify with each other, the similarities are absolutely clear and the differences are what make us unique humans. The spiritual angle, is the ability to live life "real" day by day, a "reality check" is the same as a "spirituality check," able to deal with life and ask the help when necessary. So what seemed so mysterious and incomprehensible becomes completely understandable and possible one day at a time…

April is all about step four in the daily reflections literature from Alcoholics Anonymous. And also from the book, "as Bill sees it…" Step four is about resolutely looking at our part in mistakes made. The extremes of behaviour in my case, anger and resentment covering up my fear, pretending to be okay and tried to fit in and covering up shame and guilt to protect me from ridicule, shame and guilt about not being good enough using prideful ego… Step six material, and contingent on the day I ask for help from whatever source, I take a leap of faith towards step seven on a daily basis. Defects: extremes of unhelpful behaviour. Shortcomings, learning how to do the right thing and developing right sized faith, courage and confidence on a daily basis…

Step four is a true gift, a fear less inventory undertaken in a fearless way… As we sort out the good, the bad and the ugly, of what we did and why we did it, we start to see a new way forward. It does take time to adjust and realise that we were our own worst enemies once the rot had set in. The good news, we salvage the best of what we did, and let go that which is no longer useful, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly and sometimes we go backwards rather than forwards and we learn from it. All good as long as my defects of character don't overwhelm me and I can develop my shortcomings of not enough courage, faith and confidence to keep doing the right things today…

How the steps work! Now this is a difficult subject, as each person becomes familiar with the twelve steps and the twelve traditions, each develops an understanding and personal outlook. The good news the twelve steps and twelve traditions become more understandable with time and living to these principles. And they work because they are not and I emphasise "not rules, laws or regulations" they are suggestions and ways of living well and to good conscience one day at a time…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Assets and liabilities: Our emotional and spiritual balance is based on reality and being able to cope. Assets can be courage, faith and confidence. Liabilities can be fear, brave facing and ego. Perceived assets can be liabilities if they have no foundation. Perceived liabilities can be assets when there is a clear and present danger... Truth and reality are key always...

Is spiritual 'mysterious?' In recovery we emerge from long periods of denial. Recovery is just for today, experiencing reality as it is with every feeling we have. Spiritual is living reality and the ability to live life on life's terms.. No wonder spiritual may seem mysterious after years of denial, today with truth, love and wisdom of others, life indeed can feel mysteriously magical..

In recovery, step four the moral inventory is taking stock of our character assets and liabilities ~ Martin Luther King, Jr. "If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality is spiritual" Just for today as we experience truth, love and wisdom of others..
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AA Daily Reflection: BROTHERS IN OUR DEFECTS... We recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome them. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 167
The identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spiritual–almost incomprehensible. But it is there. I “feel” it. Today I feel that I can help people and that they can help me. It is a new and exciting feeling for me to care for someone; to care what they are feeling, hoping for, praying for; to know their sadness, joy, horror, sorrow, grief; to want to share those feelings so that someone can have relief. I never knew how to do this–or how to try. I never even cared. The Fellowship of A.A., and God, are teaching me how to care about others.
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As Bill Sees It ~ Who Is to Blame..? At Step Four we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a given situation had not been entirely our fault, we often tried to cast the whole blame on the other person involved. We finally saw that the inventory should be ours, not the other man's. So we admitted our wrongs honestly and became willing to set these matters straight. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 67
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I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
-/-
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-

Wednesday 18 April 2012

April 18 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 18 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "self honesty…" Self honesty! All humans find self honesty a difficult process and when we are sensitive and vulnerable, and we do not understand that sensitivity and vulnerability can be great strengths of character, we can over use denial as a coping strategy…

There are many things in life which are difficult to cope with and part of the human condition is to deploy denial as a way to cope with the extreme feelings which are so difficult. Grief and loss of people, places and things tip most humans into some form of denial from the "I cannot believe this is happening" moments to years of denial about our true situation. Step one, admitting and accepting the true nature of our condition has become a daily process for me…

Self honesty is difficult, and as M Scott Peck said in his book the road less travelled, "life is difficult." No wonder all human beings find reality difficult. And what starts with little white lies to ourselves, can become great big whopping lies to ourselves which then become part of us and what we share with others. No easy feat to keep working on self honesty and being honest with everyone around us. All the steps help us live the best we can with what we have, it is progress and imperfectly perfect learning to live today…

The degree to which we become open, honest and willing to share the truth about ourselves is always going to be a personal choice and something we develop through time. The adage, "truth will set us free" must be true, at the same time there are consequences which sometimes we would wish were different...

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Needs met, wants forgotten ~ Henry David Thoreau "A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone" Experience life as it is . . just for today

Self honesty, a journey in a day, an appraisal of our feelings, thoughts and actions reveals to what extent we have found truth in our endeavours ~ John Lyly "He that loseth his honesty hath nothing else to lose" -/- progress not perfect as we are restored to balance and sanity...
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AA Daily Reflection: SELF-HONESTY... The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves. . . . When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 17
When I was drinking, I deceived myself about reality, rewriting it to what I wanted it to be. Deceiving others is a character defect–even if it is just stretching the truth a bit or cleaning up my motives so others would think well of me. My Higher Power can remove this character defect, but first I have to help myself become willing to receive that help by not practicing deception. I need to remember each day that deceiving myself about myself is setting myself up for failure or disappointment in life and in Alcoholics Anonymous. A close, honest relationship with a Higher Power is the only solid foundation I’ve found for honesty with self and with others.

As Bill Sees It ~ In Partnership... As we made spiritual progress, it became clear that, if we ever were to feel emotionally secure, we would have to put our lives on a give and take basis; we would have to develop the sense of being in partnership or brotherhood with all those around us. We saw that we would need to give constantly of ourselves without demand for repayment. When we persistently did this, we gradually found that people were attracted to us as never before. And even if they failed us, we could be understanding and not too seriously affected.
The unity, the effectiveness, and even the survival of A.A. will always depend upon our continued willingness to give up some of our personal ambitions and desires for the common safety and welfare. Just as sacrifice means survival for the individual alcoholic, so does sacrifice mean unity and survival for the group and for A.A.'s entire Fellowship. TWELVE AND TWELVE, PP. 115-116
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I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
-/-
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-

Tuesday 17 April 2012

April 17 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 17 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "love and fear as opposites…" Sometimes I try to unravel what the daily reflections mean and I still remain confused today. And that's okay for me, I'm still learning. I do know the feelings inside me are real, at the same time they may not be based on my actual situation today…

When anyone has been worn down by alcohol, people, places and things and situations which undermined our ability to cope, our grip on reality is easily lost. And once we are adrift, every feeling experienced is real to us. Imagination and the fantasy that we create about our situation can paralyse, spin us into extreme feelings and high and low moods. Feelings are always real, they just may have no foundation to reality. Recovery is a journey back to reality each and every day…

Grief and loss of people, places and things… Grief is a natural process and part of grief is anger and denial in the first instance, "I can't believe it!" And depending just how horrible the grief and loss is, anger and denial can help us cope under extreme conditions. And as many people know, more of the process involves every emotion, from denial of the truth to anger and frustration, depression and acceptance… We can rock forward and backward in turmoil. Grief and loss is a part of life for everyone today…

My experience in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, I had to deal with the loss of my best friend and my best enemy, a substance namely alcohol. Self harm and self abuse and self prejudice! All part of grief and loss… As I started to understand real life and how to cope again, some of my most profound experiences have been understanding the past through my step four and becoming aware of how to be a human being again… And always just for today…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

“Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there.” When I ask myself, am I looking for truth, love and wisdom in my outlook today, fear does not come knocking on my door. I need always check I am living to my principles of truth, love and wisdom and also ask for help. When I seek support and challenge, more truth, love and wisdom from others comes "thy way"

In sobriety we let go control and introduce choices based on reality.. our feelings and thoughts, all of them are who we are, from extremes to balance, to understand these feelings and thoughts, improves our choices. The defect is prolonged negative or positive extremes of thoughts and feelings, being stuck one way? Letting go and letting good balance be restored in living just for today...

Love and fear.. To love, be loved and have something useful to do. We I realise what I need, which is simply enough, fellowship, so I may connect with my world, wants and extremes do not drive me or make me stuck in fear of loss or fear of exclusion. When fear comes knocking at the door, I can accept it, and deal with it in the moment as it is today. Courage, faith and confidence develops, with help, as I live life today...


AA Daily Reflection: LOVE AND FEAR AS OPPOSITES... All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49

“Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there.” I don’t know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly indicates clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself. I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the mere presence of it made me a coward. I didn’t know that one of the definitions of “courage” is “the willingness to do the right thing in spite of fear.” Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear. During the times I didn’t have love in my life I most assuredly had fear. To fear God is to be afraid of joy. In looking back, I realize that, during the times I feared God most, there was no joy in my life. As I learned not to fear God, I also learned to experience joy.
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As Bill Sees It ~ 215 Constructive Workouts... There are those in A.A. whom we call "destructive" critics. They power-drive, they are "politickers," they make accusation to gain their ends -- all for the good of A.A., of course! But we have learned that these folks need not be really destructive.
We ought to listen carefully to what they say. Sometimes they are telling the whole truth; at other times, a little truth. If we are within their range, the whole truth, the half truth, or no truth at all can prove equally unpleasant to us. If they have got the whole truth, or even little truth, then we had better thank them and get on with our respective inventories, admitting we were wrong. If they are talking nonsense, we can ignore it, or else try to persuade them. Failing this, we can be sorry they are too sick to listen, and we can try to forget the whole business. There are few better means of self-survey and of developing patience than the workouts these usually well-meaning but erratic members so often afford us. TWELVE CONCEPTS, P. 43

As Bill Sees It ~ 319 Two Authorities Many people wonder how A.A. can function under a seeming anarchy. Other societies have to have law and force and sanction and punishment, administered by authorized people. Happily for us, we found that we need no human authorities which are far more effective. One is benign, the other malign. There is God, our Father, who very simply says, "I am waiting for you to do my will." The other authority is named John Barleycorn, and he says, "You had better do God's will or I will kill you."
The A.A. Traditions are neither rules, regulations, nor laws. We obey them willingly because we want to. Perhaps the secret of their power lies in the fact that these life-giving communications spring out of living experience and are rooted in love. 1. A.A. COMES OF AGE, P. 105
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Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
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Monday 16 April 2012

April 16 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 16 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "anger: a dubious luxury…" If I have nothing to fear and I don't feel attacked in any way, anger or even rage is unlikely on a daily basis. As with all human activity some situations made me fearful and I can feel anger and rage, it does not mean I will "act on it" because if I know the feeling of anger, I can think the situation through today…

The very essence of our fellowship, emotional and spiritual… Learning that all feelings are part of the equation in the moment of now. Happy, sad, joy and love. Some of the emotions I could understand, but for years I suppressed anger, rage and resentments because? It does not matter why I suppressed them, now I feel them in the moment and they happen "the negative feelings" and I learn from them. The adage, "pain a spiritual touchtone" is true for me and part of what it is to be human every day…

Working through the years and history of my life in my step four, there were repetitive themes which I often found made me make choices based on fear of not being good enough and fear of being found out as less than equal to other people. A good reason to resent myself... And there were times when I would compare and despair, which left me striving and always competing. In the end with plenty of success, I was only competing with myself because of my self prejudice over the years...

After step four, sharing my life story helped me see the personal characteristics I had inherited and developed to undermine me, fear pretending to be okay when I was not okay and prideful ego to cover up. Step six and step seven, understanding the emotional change, from fear in step six, to faith in doing the next right thing in step seven is always a daily reminder about courage to change. Step six liabilities to step seven developing my assets and personal characteristics where faith, courage and confidence grow by accepting its okay to keep on learning life, making mistakes and learning from them and understanding there is joy rather than pain in learning…

Today a spotcheck inventory when I feel I don't have enough resolve to cope, it always seems to reveal a return to isolated thinking rather than just saying, "I feel out of my depth, I need ask for help…" And when I ask the help it is an action and not driven by fear of being found out… If I don't know something, even if others expect I should know, I have the confidence to express my feelings in the moment and if I don't, I do sooner than later and hopefully in the same day…

In all my endeavours today, simple progress and not perfection. Sometimes, even when I seem to take several steps backwards to a point where I understand what is going on, it is not a failure because I successfully backtrack in order to pick up the threads and then move forward again. I don't always move forward in the same direction, because I see more clearly where my choices will be with the right people, in a better place and doing things which will work better just for today…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Anger, a dubious luxury? For me, anger and resentment are a dubious luxury. Anger can turn into rage, resentment into old feelings and being in the problem. As I can make other people angry, just by being me, I realise I need forgiveness of me, and and then I can forgive most anything day to day. When I hit the exceptional extremes, I need draw on every resource for help, or I become the problem and not the solution...

Anger is a feeling, feelings and emotions are a part of us, alerts us to what is happening and going on. It is ok to acknowledge "I feel angry." Then work out why and what to do. We need understanding our truth, same as if we are feeling happy. Never deny emotion or feeling, it is what we do next which helps us make sense of our next choices. Feeling, cause, choices.. Prolonged extremes of a particular emotion or feeling? Share and express helpfully to ourselves and others, find counsel and make informed choices as we may...

Letting go anger and rage at ourselves and others becomes a way to make better choices. Stuck in extremes we live in the problem and not the solution ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson "For every minute we remain angry, we give up sixty seconds of peace of mind" -/- As we see the truth, make our choices, we learn from our bruises, heal and move on...
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AA Daily Reflection: Daily Reflections ~ ANGER: A "DUBIOUS LUXURY... If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of the normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 66
“Dubious luxury.” How often have I remembered those words. It’s not just anger that’s best left to nonalcoholics; I built a list including justifiable resentment, self-pity, judgmentalism, self-righteousness, false pride and false humility. I’m always surprised to read the actual quote. So well have the principles of the program been drummed into me that I keep thinking all of these defects are listed too. Thank God I can’t afford them–or I surely would indulge in them.
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As Bill Sees It ~ Complete the Housecleaning... Time after time, newcomers have tried to keep to themselves shoddy facts about their lives. Trying to avoid the humbling experience of the Fifth Step, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning.
They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, PP. 72-73
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Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
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