Thursday, 12 April 2012

April 12 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 12 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "giving up insanity…" Step four provides a clearer understanding of our attitudes and behaviour, some of our old ways are "liabilities" and every new day provides opportunity to improve our attitudes and behavioural "assets." People places and things may drive us bonkers at any time, rather than reacting we can respond with a pause to reflect…

If the weather is cold, we put on a coat. If the weather improves and it is warm, we take the coat off. A natural response and reaction to our immediate situation. More difficult to respond and react in an open, honest and willing way with courage faith and confidence, when confronted with difficult people, difficult places and difficult things to do. We can change and not go into the old insanities which closes us down thinking angrily "here we go again!"

For a very long time in various industries my role was to challenge the status quo, looking at what worked with people and organisations and how to develop best ways to improve. And with some simple principles, being open, encouraging honesty, working to improve fair dealing and promote integrity in all relationships. Encountering business practice which was the very opposite caused me to break down when I realised I began to adopt behaviour encouraged day in day out. Smashed and broken by my own ethics and principles, a period of psychosis and breakdown followed when I realised everything I believed in was not wanted. The insanity of trying to do the right thing with the wrong people in the wrong places, helped me lose everything…

Sometimes our reasons and motives are not very clear when we have conflicting goals. Surviving and maintaining a certain way of living compromised me as a person, I simply wanted to fit in and be successful and live the dream. Unfortunately I had no clarity around the dream… And disappointment with myself and my way of life made me seek oblivion from the horror of what became not only a nightmare also a "day mare" and unrelenting pain. Ironically drink kept me alive and as a friend reminded me recently the last six months of drinking and the first six months of sobriety was like a Dickens novel A Tale Of Two Cities, "it was the worst of times, and the best of times..."

When I stop drinking with the help of fellowship, it was the worst of times leading up to that first sober day and then it became the best of times. And those first few months of the best of times were excruciatingly wonderful. And as each day starts I do remind myself of powerlessness and unmanageability. What it is to feel a touch of madness when life is difficult and I can ask the help these days to find some sanity and live it. Letting go trying to control, trying to be in charge of anything but my own outlook and behaviour. We may influence others; at the same time everyone has a right to their own outlook. Step four reinforced the serenity prayer and what it stands for, accepting the things I cannot change and courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference can help me achieve serenity just for today…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Step Four assets and liabilities. Our emotional and spiritual programme, I found self appraisal of my assets and liabilities not easy. Spiritual, finding the truth is always a challenge. Feelings at extremes cannot be sustained and become liabilities. Fear, a brave face and ego do not help. Courage, faith and confidence based on reality work well. A balance of all feelings makes life what it is today, real!

As we live step four, and learn daily inventory in step ten, we learn more about ourselves and our conduct. Two helpful steps in a twelve step package. Twelve principles of living, for ourselves and our conduct. Twelve steps useless and destructive when we apply them to, take inventory and judge others...

We need to drop the word "blame..." Step Four and Step ten are a reality check, how we were and how we are. We can improve our self awareness. This does not make us expert counsel when supporting others in recovery. We remain one voice, sharing our experience strength and hope, our reality changes daily "I look at modern life and I see people not taking responsibility for their lives. The temptation to blame, to find external causes to one's own issues is something that is particularly modern. I know that personally I find that sense of responsibility interesting." Edward Zwick -/- Avoid Pedastals and Guru's
AA Daily Reflection: GIVING UP INSANITY... Where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 38

Alcoholism required me to drink, whether I wanted to or not. Insanity dominated my life and was the essence of my disease. It robbed me of the freedom of choice over drinking and, therefore, robbed me of all other choices. When I drank, I was unable to make effective choices in any part of my life and life became unmanageable. I ask God to help me understand and accept the full meaning of the disease of alcoholism.
As Bill Sees It ~ God-Given Instincts... Creation gave us instincts for a purpose. Without them we wouldn't be complete human beings. If men and women didn't exert themselves to be secure in their persons, made no effort to harvest food or construct shelter, there would be no survival. If they didn't reproduce, the earth wouldn't be populated. If there were no social instinct, there would be no society. Yet these instincts, so necessary for our existence, often far exceed their proper functions. Powerfully, blindly, many times subtly, they drive us, dominate us, and insist upon ruling our lives.

We tried to shape a sane ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test: Was it selfish or not? We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed. 1. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 42 1. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 69
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"

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