April 15 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "the bondage of resentment…" Our twelve steps: emotional and spiritual; which means for me that I know what my feelings are in the moment of now. And when I know my feelings, I know what drives my thinking and then my actions…
A simple programme for complicated people! First I had to learn what it meant, emotional and spiritual. And then I realised I really didn't know my feelings too well unless they were at extremes, which meant often my reactions and thinking worked at extremes. Extreme resentments and extremes of happiness. A simple programme, based on being able to learn what my feelings are in the moment of now, and not push away the feelings which used to make life so complicated…
When we understand that it is better to live in an open honest and willing way, open honest and willing need start with ourselves. And we understand what good conscience is, life does become more straightforward, we learn what we can and cannot do and the wisdom develops every day. Letting go self harm, self prejudice and resenting ourselves starts to open the door to greater freedoms and not harming others and not resenting them for being human beings too…
Step four, "the fearless moral inventory," is about less fear, less need to feel like pretending to be okay, and less prideful ego as we learn its okay to keep on learning and making mistakes and not covering up. So today I do fear less and the fearless moral inventory is now more of a spot check inventory with some gratitude and the serenity prayer which helps me in any given moment. And an appeal to good conscience, phoning a friend and being in the company of like-minded people will always help me find my moral compass each and every day… And today is where it matters most…
The absolute joy of falling in love and the joy that another person can fall in love with us… And sometimes we make good with work and money and there is joy and happiness too… Romance, and finance the number one causes of relapse! And yet romance and finance are absolutely part of recovery. When we invest all our love in one person, and all our efforts into one area of endeavour like work, everything can depend on one person, place or thing unfairly to keep us sane and sober… A gentle reminder in all my experiences is if we are to be able to love and sustain love for another person as a partner, I need all that keeps me sober before meeting that person, during and after just in case they, or I fall out of love again…
We don't choose who we are to love? Actually we probably do choose who we love, we just don't know it. There are attributes qualities certain people have which are attractive to us, and the same applies the other way round. And then if we are lucky we start to find out more about the nature of where a relationship can go or not go. Being truthful, open, honest and willing in these situations can be very very difficult as desire and needs are very confusing. The great news is if we are truthful we can work it out with the other person. Even better news about truth is we keep going with what is right, and stop sooner than later with what is wrong. We can change, they can change, and at the same time the serenity prayer helps me clearly, accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference… Or in other words there is no point in barking up the wrong tree over and over again!
And there is great honesty in not knowing where relationships start to grow, admitting confusion, setting boundaries and then wondering if those are the right boundaries. As long as there is dialogue and understanding that its okay not to be okay and then learn what will work and not work in the present moment. All about our emotional and spiritual living, awareness of our own feelings and awareness of the feelings of people we are with. Love cannot be set in stone, love is the core, the ebb and the flow of feelings between human beings living and working together, like oceans with storms to calm, whirlpools and eddies with shallows and unfathomable deeps so wondrous and mysterious every day…
Love can be excruciatingly wonderful and joyful and love can be excruciatingly painful when we love a person and they do not love us, or stop loving us… And the first resentment is sometimes "what's wrong with me?" And the simple answer is there is nothing wrong with you. And then the more powerful resentment, which compensates "what's wrong with them!?" And all the answers can be full of resentments except one, there is nothing wrong with them…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
How am I feeling, why and what can I do? = Assertive How are we feeling why and what can we do? = Empathy... I like you, I feel great when you acknowledge me but not when you undermine me by...
Anger is a feeling, feelings and emotions are a part of us, alerts us to what is happening and going on. It is ok to acknowledge "I feel angry." Then work out why and what to do. We need understanding our truth, same as if we are feeling happy. Never deny emotion or feeling, it is what we do next which helps us make sense of our next choices. Feeling, cause, choices.. Prolonged extremes of a particular emotion or feeling? Share and express helpfully to ourselves and others, find counsel and make informed choices as we may..
Letting go anger and rage at ourselves and others becomes a way to make better choices. Stuck in extremes we live in the problem and not the solution ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson "For every minute we remain angry, we give up sixty seconds of peace of mind" -/- As we see the truth, make our choices, we learn from our bruises, heal and move on..
-/-
AA Daily Reflection: THE BONDAGE OF RESENTMENT... harboring resentment is infinitely grave. For then we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 5
It has been said, “Anger is a luxury I cannot afford.” Does this suggest I ignore this human emotion? I believe not. Before I learned of the A.A. program, I was a slave to the behavior patterns of alcoholism. I was chained to negativity, with no hope of cutting loose. The Steps offered me an alternative. Step Four was the beginning of the end of my bondage. The process of “letting go” started with an inventory. I needed not be frightened, for the previous Steps assured me I was not alone. My Higher Power led me to this door and gave me the gift of choice. Today I can choose to open the door to freedom and rejoice in the sunlight of the Steps, as they cleanse the spirit within me.
-/-
As Bill Sees It ~ Virtue and Self-Deception I used to take comfort from an exaggerated belief in my own honesty. My New England kinfolk had taught me the sanctity of all business commitments and contracts, saying, "A man's word is his bond." After this rigorous conditioning, business honesty always came easy; I never flim-flammed anyone. However, this small fragment of readily won virtue did produce some interesting liabilities. I never failed to whip up a fine contempt for those of my fellow Wall Streeters who were prone to shortchange their customers. This was arrogant enough, but the ensuing selfdeception proved even worse.
My prized business honesty was presently converted into a comfortable cloak under which I could hide the many serious flaws that beset other departments of my life. Being certain of this one virtue, it was easy to conclude that I had them all. For years on end, this prevented me from taking a good look at myself. GRAPEVINE, AUGUST 1961
-/-
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
A simple programme for complicated people! First I had to learn what it meant, emotional and spiritual. And then I realised I really didn't know my feelings too well unless they were at extremes, which meant often my reactions and thinking worked at extremes. Extreme resentments and extremes of happiness. A simple programme, based on being able to learn what my feelings are in the moment of now, and not push away the feelings which used to make life so complicated…
When we understand that it is better to live in an open honest and willing way, open honest and willing need start with ourselves. And we understand what good conscience is, life does become more straightforward, we learn what we can and cannot do and the wisdom develops every day. Letting go self harm, self prejudice and resenting ourselves starts to open the door to greater freedoms and not harming others and not resenting them for being human beings too…
Step four, "the fearless moral inventory," is about less fear, less need to feel like pretending to be okay, and less prideful ego as we learn its okay to keep on learning and making mistakes and not covering up. So today I do fear less and the fearless moral inventory is now more of a spot check inventory with some gratitude and the serenity prayer which helps me in any given moment. And an appeal to good conscience, phoning a friend and being in the company of like-minded people will always help me find my moral compass each and every day… And today is where it matters most…
The absolute joy of falling in love and the joy that another person can fall in love with us… And sometimes we make good with work and money and there is joy and happiness too… Romance, and finance the number one causes of relapse! And yet romance and finance are absolutely part of recovery. When we invest all our love in one person, and all our efforts into one area of endeavour like work, everything can depend on one person, place or thing unfairly to keep us sane and sober… A gentle reminder in all my experiences is if we are to be able to love and sustain love for another person as a partner, I need all that keeps me sober before meeting that person, during and after just in case they, or I fall out of love again…
We don't choose who we are to love? Actually we probably do choose who we love, we just don't know it. There are attributes qualities certain people have which are attractive to us, and the same applies the other way round. And then if we are lucky we start to find out more about the nature of where a relationship can go or not go. Being truthful, open, honest and willing in these situations can be very very difficult as desire and needs are very confusing. The great news is if we are truthful we can work it out with the other person. Even better news about truth is we keep going with what is right, and stop sooner than later with what is wrong. We can change, they can change, and at the same time the serenity prayer helps me clearly, accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference… Or in other words there is no point in barking up the wrong tree over and over again!
And there is great honesty in not knowing where relationships start to grow, admitting confusion, setting boundaries and then wondering if those are the right boundaries. As long as there is dialogue and understanding that its okay not to be okay and then learn what will work and not work in the present moment. All about our emotional and spiritual living, awareness of our own feelings and awareness of the feelings of people we are with. Love cannot be set in stone, love is the core, the ebb and the flow of feelings between human beings living and working together, like oceans with storms to calm, whirlpools and eddies with shallows and unfathomable deeps so wondrous and mysterious every day…
Love can be excruciatingly wonderful and joyful and love can be excruciatingly painful when we love a person and they do not love us, or stop loving us… And the first resentment is sometimes "what's wrong with me?" And the simple answer is there is nothing wrong with you. And then the more powerful resentment, which compensates "what's wrong with them!?" And all the answers can be full of resentments except one, there is nothing wrong with them…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
How am I feeling, why and what can I do? = Assertive How are we feeling why and what can we do? = Empathy... I like you, I feel great when you acknowledge me but not when you undermine me by...
Anger is a feeling, feelings and emotions are a part of us, alerts us to what is happening and going on. It is ok to acknowledge "I feel angry." Then work out why and what to do. We need understanding our truth, same as if we are feeling happy. Never deny emotion or feeling, it is what we do next which helps us make sense of our next choices. Feeling, cause, choices.. Prolonged extremes of a particular emotion or feeling? Share and express helpfully to ourselves and others, find counsel and make informed choices as we may..
Letting go anger and rage at ourselves and others becomes a way to make better choices. Stuck in extremes we live in the problem and not the solution ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson "For every minute we remain angry, we give up sixty seconds of peace of mind" -/- As we see the truth, make our choices, we learn from our bruises, heal and move on..
-/-
AA Daily Reflection: THE BONDAGE OF RESENTMENT... harboring resentment is infinitely grave. For then we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 5
It has been said, “Anger is a luxury I cannot afford.” Does this suggest I ignore this human emotion? I believe not. Before I learned of the A.A. program, I was a slave to the behavior patterns of alcoholism. I was chained to negativity, with no hope of cutting loose. The Steps offered me an alternative. Step Four was the beginning of the end of my bondage. The process of “letting go” started with an inventory. I needed not be frightened, for the previous Steps assured me I was not alone. My Higher Power led me to this door and gave me the gift of choice. Today I can choose to open the door to freedom and rejoice in the sunlight of the Steps, as they cleanse the spirit within me.
-/-
As Bill Sees It ~ Virtue and Self-Deception I used to take comfort from an exaggerated belief in my own honesty. My New England kinfolk had taught me the sanctity of all business commitments and contracts, saying, "A man's word is his bond." After this rigorous conditioning, business honesty always came easy; I never flim-flammed anyone. However, this small fragment of readily won virtue did produce some interesting liabilities. I never failed to whip up a fine contempt for those of my fellow Wall Streeters who were prone to shortchange their customers. This was arrogant enough, but the ensuing selfdeception proved even worse.
My prized business honesty was presently converted into a comfortable cloak under which I could hide the many serious flaws that beset other departments of my life. Being certain of this one virtue, it was easy to conclude that I had them all. For years on end, this prevented me from taking a good look at myself. GRAPEVINE, AUGUST 1961
-/-
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
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