Saturday, 28 April 2012

April 28 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous

April 28 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "two magnificent standards, humility and responsibility…" Over the years in my life, when it came to humility and responsibility I realise now I either overplayed or underestimated with regard to humility and responsibility. Finding the balance was never easy until I became more aware that these were elements of living…

In order to achieve some sort of balanced outlook, understanding boundaries, understanding what we can and cannot do and having the courage to change is truly difficult. Nobody comes with a set of instructions, how to live life and if we did, I don't know there would be much point. Ground rules change, people places and things are constantly changing. With humility, that is continuous learning and taking responsibility for our own actions, we do find balance in life and it is tolerable on a daily basis…

And life can be so much more as we learn what humility is and how to be humble in our outlook, simply open, honest and willing to change. Acceptance is not stagnation, it's a beginning as each moment passes and life continues. Taking responsibility for my actions, what I can do and cannot do makes life a lot clearer. And there are no set rules or laws or regulations that hold us back, but we need observe and be a part of changing rules, laws and regulations or as we say in Fellowship, suggestions which keep us on track with integrity today…

Humility and responsibility will always offer time out to take a reality check. Each time we check out reality, we need reference reality with other people and be assured that the path or journey we are on is not in direct conflict with our principles of being open, honest and willing in our approach, fair dealing and behaving and living with an attitude of integrity…

Coming to the end of April and the focus of the AA daily reflections being step four, our fearless moral inventory so we fear less. A constant reminder to me, expectations are resentments under construction. If I ever feel blame towards others, a look in the mirror with humility and responsibility I can see my part. And the expression, "what have I done to deserve this?" Nobody deserves bad fortune or has a right to good fortune… Today, is what it is…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

In recovery, we can live with live less denial of reality, learn more about how to develop our courage, learn from fear, face the truth ~ Thomas S. Monson "The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and trial with humility" knowing what we need and less wanting...

Humility and learning is the foundation recovery. Learning, how to be equal in living with everyone, inside and outside fellowship. Being responsible for our actions and endeavours. Living to good conscience is being "open, honest and willing," and truthful and fair in our dealings with everyone. Always progress and never perfect accepting life on life's terms, we do have freedom of choice today...

April 28 2007

Fellowship A way of Living DonInLondon ‘Day In the Life’

Pain: physical and emotional, all part of life. Today has been one of those days where pain from overdoing the walking has really caused me to slow down and be careful. Not a very edifying way to start a journal page maybe, yet true. So its feels right to mention the impact it has had. Less able and less walking and severe back pains.

In the spite of or because of I did get out to meet a friend at the end of the road. At the end of my street is Earls Court Road. Full of places to meet and share time. In a coffee shop not far away, we had a couple of hours to chat about life and things in general. As part of the meet I was asked to cover what the twelve steps of AA do for me, and you can hear all about it on the video.

It’s good to be out and doing. And get away from the frustration of pain. Apparently I was very off colour when I met up with my friend. Unnamed as he is in the fellowship, but you know who you are and will be reading this maybe in the morning!

Anyway we had a great couple of hours and liked time to have my say and so did he. We have common problems in some respects, with this whole notion of letting go of hurts and painful experiences. Don’t we all?

And there is something that Ego provides when we are being made to feel the pain, it offers denials and filters and the how dare this be happening feelings. It’s the "I can’t believe it" moments which are part of the denial of truth when truth is hard to get to grips with.

Truth and Reality, the most important elements we need be aware of, and yet we have processes of denial to help us deal with them. Denial is a very useful process for us to come to terms with loss mostly, when we feel loss of people its intense and so denial breaks things down till we find acceptance somewhere along the way.


A particularly good share from a person doing the chair for the first time, well for me it was. Sharing the truth of what it’s like to see ourselves in all our good and bad parts. The good of recovery is we live better and deal with life the universe and everything so much more evenly and without outrage or intense highs which are impossible to maintain.

And the "Chair" had been a counsellor like me in some respects and done all sorts to make life work, had become addicted and dependent on alcohol and had similar experiences. And this is the reason for listening, to hear others and what they did, how they made use of getting sober and making life work again. This is fellowship we hear the way out of the pain of addiction.

Living In Fellowship

When we truly live in fellowship we find peace. We also find some people we are naturally drawn to and others who may want more from us than is good for either them or us.

I have many experiences of life, like so many in the fellowship which involve making life work, and at the same time we may be moving on to new living. Sometimes with the best will in the world we need stop our old living, like counselling and get on with other projects. Burn out for me in counselling and the big life of years ago, well it really does me no good to utilise experiences which led to burn out in the past, and truthfully there is only so much we can do before its detrimental to making our own life work at all.

So gone are some opportunities for engagement, and when this is realised, the nature of connection for some diminishes and the attitude of me being a utility makes the end happen sooner than they may have wished. Often people try befriending not just because it’s what we believe we are best to do, they do it unconsciously to get help and use others. Using others is enriching from the users point of view, it’s not much fun for those so utilised, like me in this case. Resentment is in the mind of the "utilizers" still, I have seen these past few days. They are not my friends and can only have so much of me. We need not be dragged down by others and their obsessions. We can assist them out and then maybe see what next if friendship is natural and obvious for both in the relationship.

Friendships in and out of Fellowship

Making friends where it matters are unconditional encounters with purpose and fellowship, not utility, like this morning, two friends sharing and sorting out life. Where we share and find equality. Nothing to prove just banter and chat and some serious stuff, and if you read this GD you know its true, smiles here as GD may read this some hours after writing. You know who you are!

Inside and outside my connections and friendship develop as they do in normal life. Some become closer and some distant. Some just have time and around a particular set of issues. And some distant friends we keep in touch with because of mutuality and outlook. Some who would be friends can join in, when self-obsession is less and life becomes more straightforward.

Utility can be so unhelpful when someone wants and another does not need go backwards. We are not commodities and sometimes we are so driven by our imperatives we forget our way of life is just so different connections can be chalk and cheese.

Spirit of Fellowship

In the spirit of fellowship I do help and support as much as I can and then I can only go so far before it is truly detrimental and then as I loose grip on reality so too I lose my connection to life. Burning out is not pleasant and not to be a part of my future adventures I trust. And I get feedback from those who know me well enough.

Why so important for me to share these words tonight. Well someone was present today who ignored me, and is in the category of acquaintance and user. I am relieved I find. As truth often means some connections are lost. And this feels neither good or bad, it does not feel. Knowing the silence is there is acceptance for me. I am sad maybe, maybe not. And tonight is does not make me feel bad or good. Letting go, another element when we have no real connection at all. And more easy than letting go the hates and resentments had it continued into day to day living. We can only do so much and there are excellent services out there willing to be engaged as any utility can be. Less so for me these days.

Have compassion and good conscience been disturbed in these let go processes? Of course and I am human like anyone and need take account of others pain. I need not live it, and the wisdom is do what makes a difference and be compassionate, and ensure we are not pulled into the murk of confluence. It will feel harsh as the silence is acceptance of dislocations. Life is never easy and we have this one only to make the best of what we may.

And enough for today, silence can be golden…
AA Daily Reflection: TWO "MAGNIFICENT STANDARDS" All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 271
To acknowledge and respect the views, accomplishments and prerogatives of others and to accept being wrong shows me the way of humility. To practice the principles of A.A. in all my affairs guides me to be responsible. Honouring these precepts gives credence to Tradition Four–and to all other Traditions of the Fellowship. Alcoholics Anonymous has evolved a philosophy of life full of valid motivations, rich in highly relevant principles and ethical values, a view of life which can be extended beyond the confines of the alcoholic population. To honour these precepts I need only to pray, and care for my fellow man as if each one were my brother.

Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service

No comments: