Friday 28 March 2014

Alcoholics Anonymous | March 28 2004 - 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 3 "Your Higher Power"

Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | March 28 2004 - 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 3 "Your Higher Power"

 

 

March 28 Video

 

DonInLondon March 28, 2014: step three month: "made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." Survivor guilt can be very consuming in recovery. Sometimes it feels like many people have been given a very bad break in life, something goes wrong and their life seems to be over before it started. And after the punishment we gave ourselves, we feel like we ought to be taken instead of them. If I could, I would have taken my father's place in the queue when he died. Life is precious and the sorrow of loss brings up so many feelings.

 

Our meeting was all about feelings, and sometimes when we reach another anniversary in recovery, we feel good that we have survived another year, and can feel just as bad in the same moment, either because life is horrible, or we feel guilty to be alive at all. There is no rhyme nor reason. And when we find ourselves with other ailments, just as dangerous and easily terminal, we can lose perspective all over again. One day at a time, if we project forwards too far, fear comes knocking on the door and we can lose faith in doing the next right thing today. Very easy because when we lose perspective, that today can work, all the problems of the future can cloud anyone's judgement. Every feeling is real, and with perspective and connection with others, we can make the best of what is, rather than what might be, or what was possible in the past.

 

Wednesday, just two days ago felt very bleak when I couldn't get about, my transport was broken, and I couldn't do anything I wanted in the moment of now. And that bleak feeling became anger and resentment very quickly because some things just needed to be done! The answer was to share my woes, get some perspective and see what was possible and not possible. I simply forgot the basics of recovery, keep it simple, be responsive, and remind myself that the world is not against me. And it's okay to have feelings which some people might consider negative. Every feeling has purpose, and if we pause long enough to experience and understand the feeling, we know the impact on our thinking and the impact on our actions.

 

I wanted to speak this morning, and then I didn't. I could see pain on the faces of my fellows, not all of them, just some of them, and it was good to hear what they had to say. We all have complicated feelings about the life we have, especially when we have no control over what's going on. I don't know why I forget that I cannot control anything, except my actions and behaviour, and that's all right, I get reminded every day just what it is to be powerless in this powerfully exasperating world.

 

Even though I cannot make things happen in my time today, I am open to changing my plans at any stage. A great conversation this morning at around 6 o'clock, or was it five? Actually was somewhere near 5 o'clock in the morning, all about life and how it changed through the week. From Monday to Friday a series of events have made the week work out well, but of course there's always today. And even I do not know what might happen in the next twenty-four hours. I do have perspective just now, but it might change, indeed it will change as the flow of life happens, leaving me powerless and happily so, all day long.

 

Full Daily Blog Link 2014:

 

DonInLondon 2004 - 2013

 

Alcoholics Anonymous | March 28 2013 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" "nor ought AA membership ever depend on money or conformity." Our nonconformist fellowship opens the door to anyone anywhere who has a desire to stop drinking. If there had been any issues of money or conformity undoubtedly the fellowship would be a lot different. And I would be dead…

 

The longer we are in fellowship, to the old-timer who is learning the wisdom of life, the openness of our fellowship becomes more obvious. To the bleeding Deacon, still stuck in old attitudes and old behaviours around manipulation and control and wanting it their way or no way, the openness of the fellowship makes them awkward, loud, complaining and bitter that things aren't the way they used to be... I was looking online to find fellowship and recovery sites, the number is overwhelming. At the same time, face-to-face, and in meetings, I still feel the power and the wisdom of experience, strength and hope shared. And then it seems, it is shared in many places over and over again. Fellowship is working and so are other means of recovery today… Without fellowship, it is doubtful if all these other means of recovery could even be contemplated let alone available to many more who have never heard of Alcoholics Anonymous…

 

The fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous has provided me with the backbone, and the foundation of my recovery. Without a doubt if it had not been suggested to me, where would I be? With over six hundred meetings in my locality, all different and all focused on a desire to stop drinking and share a message of experience, strength and hope, I have gratitude beyond measure. The literature, the big book of experience strength and hope, twelve steps and twelve traditions, as Bill sees it, daily reflections and lots more besides is utilised within fellowship and outside it. The twelve steps as life principles help me every day, and the twelve traditions, which focus on unity, service and recovery in the main keep meetings healthy today…

 

And social networks, websites of all descriptions about recovery from so many different types of addiction will prevail for a good long time. I hope they do, and sharing a message of experience strength and hope, with one purpose to help others, and require no money or subscription in the main. Some of the principles of fellowship are obvious in the way people share their experience strength and hope, and there is no personal gain. And in my experience over the years, no one is out there trying to say they know better than anybody else about recovery, it still takes many people sharing experience, strength and hope to help one person find recovery one day at a time. No single message is enough. It still takes many people to make the difference, and although social networks are really helpful, informing and sustaining recovery, in my experience, and just anecdotally, face-to-face, and in meetings will always be better if we can get there. Many, however cannot get to a meeting or spend time, face-to-face, and so the principles of fellowship can be extended if we desire to communicate through whatever network to share the best we can. Our message of experience, strength and hope requires action in all respects so we can speak and equally important, we can listen and interact with our fellows…

 

Cold arctic winds are blowing from the east across the UK. And the weather is not good for those who cannot get about so easily, so I am grateful for social networks and ways to connect with fellow members of Alcoholics Anonymous. And of course, I can write a letter, talk on the telephone and invite people around. I still prefer meetings, of course, because I have learned so much from listening, shared what I have heard and can keep on doing this as the weather improves. Recovery is still a haphazard process and it would be unhelpful to promote a fix, wherever we are, we are nonprofessional, and that is the power of the personal message, we share wherever we are, in a meeting, in a home, via a social network, it is still a personal and non-professional message. We are not professional in fellowship, we are simply human, human beings. Sharing our emotional and spiritual experience one day at a time…

 

And anonymity, the sanctuary to find out how to be sober, to share with a sense of security and confidentiality is so important. No matter what, the principle of anonymity is only as good as those who will keep what they hear on a specific basis to themselves. And we are aware that gossip kills! If one alcoholic undermines and disrespects another alcoholic and their anonymity, the breach of trust is often found out through gossip. When others breach our trust as a newcomer, the damage done can be the worst calamity. There are things I have shared which have come back as gossip, and the problem with gossip is whatever I shared to start with, now has become something bigger and usually more horrible than ever was. Chinese whispers… These days, and because of the fellowship I have developed a more open way of life, courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and the confidence to be me wherever I am, an alcoholic in recovery… I may feel okay and not worried about what people think any more when it comes to my history. And the fact that I am an alcoholic. I do not feel self-prejudice or any humiliation by being an alcoholic. That is not the case for many in recovery and respecting anonymity feels right and sacrosanct today. I don't feel there needs to be a leader in fellowship and certainly no spokes persons speaking behalf of anyone. We can share how it works, and why it works, and we can share our personal journey if we wish to, and always for me, always respectful of the anonymity of my friends and fellows, and being respectful in our nonconformist and anarchic democratic fellowship today…

 

Alcoholics Anonymous | March 28 2012 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" 2012 | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "equality…" Steps and traditions work when we work at them and have a timeless quality about them. Timeless in the sense of them working just for today and they remain fresh and instant in our attitudes and actions… Not tablets of stone to weigh us down, more often wisdom to lift us up…

 

My personal understanding of the steps and traditions is always being developed to meet the needs of my life today. With every breath, truth love and wisdom grows as my life experience grows. This is my personal evolution and sometimes revolution. The first step in my revolution was to completely stop drinking and have a desire to stop drinking. Breaking the habit of a lifetime is a revolution. And then the evolution began…

 

Equality! I am not bigger or smaller or more or less important than anyone else on this planet. Sometimes because of culture and the way society works some people are elevated or feel elevated. Day-to-day I am a learner, and with inclusion I can share my experience, strength and hope. Sometimes it can be wisdom sometimes complete nonsense and nonsensical to the listener or reader. One man's meat, turns another man into a vegetarian! Living your own experience, develops skills and wisdom to be shared where and when we are included and not excluded…

In the fellowship of AA with a desire to stop drinking, we are included which is the very foundation and opportunity to find unconditional love. The newcomer shares about what it is like to be on the front line, the old-timer about what it is like to be sober more than a day. And then of course there are those obvious to everyone else, "bleeding deacons" who find fault with anyone and everyone not just for today, every bleeding day…

-/-

DonInLondon 2005-2011

 

"Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity...After joining A.A., I found the way of life I had been searching for. In A.A. no member is any better than any other member; we’re just alcoholics trying to recover from alcoholism"

 

Our spiritual moment of now is here, same for everyone, to experience; truth, love and wisdom of everyone we meet. Our spiritual experience is contingent on our attitude and behaviour toward; truth, love and wisdom of others. Letting go, we have room for new living, happy or sad, it is "real spiritual life" today..

-/-

 

AA Daily Reflection: EQUALITY ~ Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 565

 

Prior to A.A., I often felt that I didn’t “fit in” with the people around me. Usually “they” had more/less money than I did, and my points of view didn’t jibe with “theirs.” The amount of prejudice I had experienced in society only proved to me just how phony some self -righteous people were. After joining A.A., I found the way of life I had been searching for. In A.A. no member is any better than any other member; we’re just alcoholics trying to recover from alcoholism.

-/-

 

As Bill Sees It ~ Gratitude Should Go Forward ~ "Gratitude should go forward, rather than backward. "In other words, if you carry the message to still others, you will be making the best possible repayment for the help given to you." No satisfaction has been deeper and no joy greater than in a Twelfth Step job well done. To watch the eyes of men and women open with wonder as they move from darkness into light, to see their lives quickly fill with new purpose and meaning, and above all to watch them awaken to the presence of a loving God in their lives -- these things are the substance of what we receive as we carry A.A.'s message.

-/-

 

Step Three Video 12 And 12

Step Three Video 12 And 12

  

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 1 | Bill's Story |

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 1 | Bill's Story |

 

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 2 | There Is A Solution |

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 2 | There Is A Solution |

 

 

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 3 | More About Alcoholism |

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 3 | More About Alcoholism |

 

 

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 4 | We Agnostics |

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 4 | We Agnostics |

 

 

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 5 | How It Works |

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 5 | How It Works |

 

Alcoholics Anonymous Videos, AA is for Alcoholics, AA 12 Steps, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Thursday 27 March 2014

Alcoholics Anonymous | March 26 2004 - 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 3 "Your Higher Power"

Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | March 26 2004 - 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 3 "Your Higher Power"

 

 

March 26 Video

 

DonInLondon March 26, 2014: step three month: "made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." Turning my will and my life over to the care of God as we understood him. Faith and belief is a very personal issue which challenges every single human, every single moment. My challenge feels like surrendering to the truth, love and wisdom moment to moment. The truth moment to moment, can be very complicated and difficult because we often react to situations based on our past experience.

 

I was dismayed and upset yesterday, our meeting was all about what we do when we are angry. And listening to my fellows reminded me that I get angry, just like they do. And it is easy to forget why we are angry, and to what extent we are justified in our anger. And here is a problem and I don't know if you can help me, can we actually control the way we feel about situations we are in?

 

Are we actually in control of our feelings? First and foremost, I needed to know what my feelings were, and yesterday my feelings were okay and seem to fit with the current situation. I got a puncture to my bicycle, and the outcome was very painful physically and mentally. Physically I rely on being able to get about on the bicycle, which is electric and I don't need to peddle. And mentally my mood went down very quickly. I know it's only a puncture, but in the time I had yesterday, the chemist was upset with me, I then became upset about the puncture, and not getting my prescriptions down to the medical centre. And then the world descended into chaotic darkness and a desire to fix everything quickly. I could not fix a thing! And I hurt my back, turning the bike upside down and not being able to mend the puncture just made me feel horrible and very powerless. I phoned my sister, she gave me great perspective, suggested two paracetamol and go to bed and rest my back.

 

Having walked far further than was good for me, and extreme pain, and a flat tire. And then to find that the foot pump broke, the other pump would not work, and a total deflation of the bike tire and me, without the help of my sister's perspective, I would have reacted very badly, try to spend loads of money I cannot afford, by buying a new bike and a new pump, and trying to overcome the physical, it was a no-brainer. She was right, go to bed, rest up and see what I could do today. I was up at silly o'clock, got the tools out, the puncture outfit and repaired the bike pump. Still waiting to see if the flat tire now works after inflation. I don't really care if it does, what I care about is getting perspective and accepting the limits of what I can do. I am willing to admit I was angry, because if I deny I was angry. I would be lying to myself.

 

If I cannot understand my emotional state, if I cannot understand my feelings, give a name to the feelings I have, I really do not know what is driving me moment to moment. I would still like your opinion, do we control our feelings?

 

And another question which I always find difficult for myself, do you know what your feelings are right now? It may seem like a dumb question but I would like to know if you do know what your feelings are right now.

 

Full Daily Blog Link 2014:

 

DonInLondon 2004 - 2013

Alcoholics Anonymous | March 26 2013 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" All your life, you have been the best that you can be with what you know. Everyone everywhere is the best they can be in the moment of now. It does not matter whether people are being good, bad, or behaving in an ugly way. It is the best they can be right now, and was the best they could be back in the day. This applies to you too, you are the best you can be now. Looking back with hindsight we have all the wisdom of what happened and we can change the way we are one day at a time…

 

And what about the “higher power?” When does it work? And why do we feel that some days there is no higher power and there is only darkness? Hungry, angry, lonely and tired. H. A. L. T. When we feel isolated and alone, physically and mentally tired, we cannot feel a power greater than ourselves. Unless we actively seek out the company of others, so we can be included in something bigger than us, we have no connection to what we need most, "inclusion, friendship, affection and unconditional love." My higher power, always works through people, is there in fellowship, can be there in family, can be found if we have the courage, faith and confidence to share the truth about what is going on and how we are feeling today…

 

In the old life, where fear, pride and ego would stop me from sharing the truth of my situation, I could only rely on my own feeling and thinking and the actions which would follow would be based on my own knowledge and wisdom. In that life of fear, pride and ego, I could not show weakness and would cover up my feelings about situations and accept very often the unacceptable behaviour of other people so I might fit in and find some sort of love and friendship in relationships. It was the best I could be with what I knew, and the people I was with, they were doing the best they could with what they knew too. Communications were very poor, listening and developing an understanding the truth of any situation was always hampered by putting on a brave face and rarely being able to share the real deep of who I was. Today, with courage, faith and confidence I can be the person I was meant to be, included, being able to love, being able to receive love without conditions. It can still feel very awkward today…

 

My higher power is working, I pick up the phone when it rings, and I share with a friend what's going on and how I am feeling today. They share what they are doing, how the higher power is working for them and we agree that the higher power works when we are in company, or simply asking for help to do something which we would like to do, the higher power in all human's… Shared and included and in friendship, in family and in any relationships, when we are open, honest and willing to share the truth of now, we are in conscious contact with our higher power. The higher power works through people, doing the best they can today, and sometimes the best they can be is our worst nightmare. That's when we wake up to realise that even when people are at their worst, it does not mean that we need behave like them, we are learning the wisdom of what we can do and what we cannot do today. I can change the way I behave with grace and humility, and not grovel. I cannot change you or how you behave today and I cannot change people, places and things, I can change me, my outlook and the people, places and things which are right for me in the moment, in the hour and in the day…

 

The twelve steps, open me up, they allow me to be me, I get my freedom back, and my free choices. I am able to share to the best of my ability. What the truth is, I know my truth and can share it. And in order to get to a bigger truth about the real bigger picture, I need your truth and your outlook and your wisdom. It does not mean that your wisdom is right for me, what I need to be able to do is respect you, your outlook and your opinion, even though it may be completely different to mine. The higher power works through people, being open, honest and willing to keep on changing and adapting to the reality of now. Our spiritual connection: coping with reality and living a life where happiness is possible and the truth always aids action and happiness. Peace, serenity, happiness and respecting the diversity of beliefs and opinions will always open the door to a greater understanding of the truth, love and wisdom, the universal truth, love and wisdom of today is the spiritual path of life…

 

If my understanding of the universal truth, love and wisdom, which is available in the moment of now, I can be in tune with our higher power, and you are part of the higher power because you have wisdom. The real power is always in truth, sometimes truth is acceptable because we like where we are, sometimes truth feels like it is unacceptable because of where we are, it is still the truth and that truth is greater than me. In sharing this morning with a friend, I feel better, I feel better equipped, to have a day with meaning and purpose. Because of the twelve steps, the new life with courage, faith and confidence, means I can face the truth, and the truth can be good, bad and ugly. And any combination today of everything that life can throw at us is better faced with openness, honesty and willingness to be part of the big picture, and whatever endeavour or purpose comes our way, we can live it and be a part of it in the ever present, imperfectly perfect moment of now…

 

And sharing recently with a friend, they have a foundation in their faith and religion. And for a long time they were disconnected from their faith and religion. Tentative steps on their part have led to a new truth about what is right for them. And I respect their view, their beliefs and their opinions, because they share the truth of what they know and how it works for them. I have gratitude, a gentle reminder to me that human contact, being able to share without fear, less fear, than before. And that they will not be judged. We talked about forgiveness for the way people treated us, and we realised whilst we were doing the best we could with what we had, the same applies to everyone, everyone does the best they can with what they have and how they behave is based on the knowledge and wisdom they have learned. We learn forgiveness for the best we could be, and we learn forgiveness for everyone, being the best they could be whenever it was. And the same applies forgiveness is key, we don't need to make it an issue, we practice forgiveness by what we do, and how we behave with ourselves and other people. One day at a time…

 

 

Alcoholics Anonymous | March 26 2012 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "our learning is never over…" The quote actually reads "the teaching is never over." I am not a teacher, I am a learner and I learn with you and together we make progress and we are not perfect or qualified beyond the moment of now…

 

Every day in recovery we trudge the road of destiny. The road of destiny can be guess work, can be planned, cannot be planned or the road is "what it is..." The saying, "the blind leading the blind" might be applicable if we were unable to keep learning what works today and what does not work today. Our emotional and spiritual path, where my emotions fit my situation in the moment of now offer the best opportunity to learn. If I'm sober I can learn more about life and living it making progress today…

 

How I understand the difference between being "a learner" and being "a teacher" is important for me. If I say I am a teacher, I'm likely to try and teach you. If I am a learner, I'm likely to be learning with you. And this fits with my understanding of humility and having the capacity to keep learning life, letting go old ideas, attitudes and actions and being willing to listen and develop new attitudes and actions and keep changing and adapting as life changes every day…

 

"It works if you work it, so work it you're worth it!" This is sometimes added to the serenity prayer at the end of the meetings here in London UK. Some people are happy with the serenity prayer and do not add this particular sentence. Grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. And I don't mind these days adding it works if you work it, so work it you're worth it. It reminds me when I let go the old ways, I need to work on new ways of life in all that life offers today…

 

We cannot learn and adopt new attitudes and behaviour from simply reading, listening and watching. Adopting new attitudes and behaviour requires practice, not to be perfect, simply to learn by doing, by feeling and engaging in living in the moment of now. Someone said recently in a meeting, "I had to stop thinking and start living again." Understanding our feelings is crucial to coping with reality and although we might try think and analyse everything before doing it does lead to paralysis and no action if there is no practice. A bit like knowing the answer and how it should be: but having no practical skills to get there. Fellowship is learning as we go just for today…

 

DonInLondon 2005-2011

 

Fellowship... similarities in experience, strength and hope develop unity and recovery ~ Voltaire "Is there anyone so wise as to learn by the experience of others?" -/- Learning by living our lives we experience what we can and cannot do and share wisdom to know the difference...

 

"We win half the battle when we make up our minds to take the world as we find it, including the thorns."- Orison Swett Marden

 

I woke up, said the serenity prayer, can do, cannot do, tripped over my wisdom to know the difference and said it again! ~ Louis L'Amour "A body shouldn't heed what might be. He's got to do with what is" -/- Step one... step two... step three and serenity, let go and let good, now I smile gently ...

 

Open To Truth, Love And Wisdom of Others [we let go having to be right, self-obsessed and self-medicating our lives away into oblivion and harm’s way]

 

-/-

 

AA Daily Reflection: Daily Reflections ~ THE TEACHING IS NEVER OVER Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you - until then. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 164

 

These words put a lump in my throat each time I read them. In the beginning it was because I felt, “Oh no! The teaching is over. Now I’m on my own. It will never be this new again.” Today I feel deep affection for the A.A. pioneers when I read this passage, realizing that it sums up all of what I believe in, and strive for, and that - with God’s blessing - the teaching is never over, I’m never on my own, and every day is brand new.

-/-

 

As Bill Sees It ~ True Independence of the Spirit: The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are. Therefore, dependence as A.A. practices it is really a means of gaining true independence of the spirit. At the level of everyday living, it is startling to discover how dependent we really are, and how unconscious of that dependence.

 

Every modern house has electric wiring carrying power and light to its interior. By accepting with delight our dependence upon this marvel of science, we find ourselves personally more independent, more comfortable and secure. Power flows just where it is needed. Silently and surely, electricity, that strange energy so few people understand, meets our simplest daily needs. Though we readily accept this principle of healthy dependence in many of our temporal affairs, we often fiercely resist the identical principle when asked to apply it as means of growth in the life of the spirit. Clearly, we shall never know freedom under God until we try to seek His will for us. The choice is ours. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 36

-/-

 

Step Three Video 12 And 12

Step Three Video 12 And 12

  

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 1 | Bill's Story |

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 1 | Bill's Story |

 

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 2 | There Is A Solution |

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 2 | There Is A Solution |

 

 

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 3 | More About Alcoholism |

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 3 | More About Alcoholism |

 

 

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 4 | We Agnostics |

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 4 | We Agnostics |

 

 

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 5 | How It Works |

AA Big Book Video | Chapter 5 | How It Works |

 

Alcoholics Anonymous Videos, AA is for Alcoholics, AA 12 Steps, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,