Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | March 17 2004 - 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 3 "Your Higher Power"
DonInLondon March 17, 2014: step three month: "made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." Truly inspired this morning, listening to the shares of experience strength and hope by other people. We all have legitimate and truthful accounts of life in the moment of now, life, how it used to be in the past, and the impact that past events have had, which shapes how we feel about now. It takes time to find our feet in recovery. And that's okay!
The reading of step eight, was at shared beginning of our meeting. I cannot tell you what other people said, I can't even tell you who was there, and that is perfectly right, anonymity is key. I can say I was there, I can say I am an alcoholic in recovery, and that is my truth today. From day one, to whatever day it is now in recovery, everyone is aware that I am an alcoholic and not drinking one day at a time. I do need share my good fortune with medical people. Whenever I see them, they always comment on my alcohol abuse of the past, in their reports, I just wish they would include how long I had been sober, because then maybe the conversation will move along to how to help people they meet and how recovery might be achieved.
If it were not for the many people I meet in fellowship, not only in meetings, all over the place where I live, how will I cope? Fortunately, social media and the world seems connected one way or another. Coping with life: emotional and spiritual or in other words knowing our feelings in the moment of now, with the twelve steps and everyone who is learning and practising them, life is beyond belief, it is reality.
In the last few minutes, I just received a letter from the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital, and would you credit it? They have actually acknowledged my sobriety of nearly ten years. But then, as this is part of the ongoing report about my situation, it suggests I got type I diabetes three months after three months of sobriety, when in fact I had been at least three years sober before the diabetes occurred. Which in this case means erroneous and misleading conclusions about why I got diabetes in the first place! Well, it seems some progress is being made. And it's about time I wrote them a more accurate picture, rather than the recollections of a professor writing up his notes, or more likely dictating them en masse.
I have been happy all morning! And even though I need to correct the Professor and try and get things straight and on the record correctly for further medical professionals to read, it is a small price to pay for the exceptional quality and expertise lavished upon me by the National Health Service, and only spoiled by their human beings being very human and not getting things down on paper accurately. And it's only been ten years. And somebody has actually recognised my sobriety of nearly 10 years. How do I feel? Well, the good news is I am in a better place to deal with this than I would have been a month ago, still wondering about cancer and other matters which turned out to be negative, and nothing to worry about.
There will be a funeral tomorrow, a very sad occasion. I'm not going to go, it is quite a way off. I will go to the Memorial service which is in the near future. If I can I will support and be there for the living who were close, and offer help to the bereaved. I will not put myself in front of them to offer, but if the opportunity arises, and if it is appropriate I will be there in the future. The bereaved have a lifetime ahead thankfully.
Full Daily Blog Link 2014:
DonInLondon 2004 - 2013
Alcoholics Anonymous | March 17 2013 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" "a voice of truth, love and wisdom shared can help. Many can feel the benefit when one person is able to share truthfully about what life is like today and where they have come from." Listening to a friend yesterday, it made all the difference, having had a conversation and tried to help another by telephone through the day… And one voice can help me gain perspective about my feelings in the moment of now…
Helping another person is truly beneficial not only if they feel the benefit, I feel the benefit too of being helpful. Not so much in my case to do with recovery per se, more to do with looking after oneself and being sober so the rest of life can happen. In recovery sometimes we work harder and other people stand around and watch as we put more and more in and then they stand still. Sometimes people take advantage of our good nature and we end up if we are not careful, with a huge resentment against ourselves and other people. Learning what we can do and what is right to do, learning the limits and boundaries, so we don't overstep and make a rod for our own back, is the cannot do. When other people procrastinate, let them, do your part and negotiate the boundaries as time permits today…
In recovery, we can overcompensate so we feel better and feel we are making amends for times past. What I am saying is that we are part of the world and the world is not there to exploit our desire to be useful and purposeful. And we can find ourselves in strange places, with strangers who we thought were friends or co-workers with the same ideals and with the same energy to make things happen. The wisdom to know the difference in recovery is on offer, can play our part in matters and cannot play the part of others when they are letting either us or themselves down, or the endeavour will not happen unless we fill in the gaps that they ought to do. Don't play the martyr and don't exhaust yourself or sobriety will come undone and a drink is never far away…
A meeting, and the sharing was all about men and women sharing their feelings about what is happening to them, and to have feelings with a very last place to be in the old days. Suppressing any feeling for any length of time, will lead to extremes, not only in feelings, it means feelings impact on our thinking to extremes and the actions could be extreme as well. So many different ways, we can filter the truth because we feel other people cannot cope if the truth is told. I feel that if I had hidden the fact that I had type I diabetes in my umpteenth year of recovery, family and friends would have found out sometime, even though I might have tried to hide it as an unpalatable truth. The truth of my illness and type I diabetes was a revelation to me after a year of feeling horrible and knowing there was something drastically wrong. It took repeated visits to my GP who thought I was fantasising because of my alcoholism and that it was all in my head that something was wrong. Having being diagnosed, I was relieved that it was only type I diabetes, which some people call, "the silent killer." I have gratitude that I had the common sense and gumption to tell everybody, because if people don't know they don't know what to do when you fall over in the street, let alone a meeting or a family dinner… And the anger and resentment toward me had I not told people would have made them angry because they would not know how to help or how to cope if I had kept it a secret…
Female members of fellowship, shared just how much and how important it is to know that the men in fellowship have feelings as well. And they prefer them expressed rather than hidden away, hidden because men are supposed to be strong and powerful? The strongest men have always shared their feelings as leaders and as men being themselves. Men and women who can share their feelings openly and willingly get to the truth, love and wisdom of now much faster than hiding and being secretive about what is going on. And women also shared that the same was true for them, in their past, feelings were ignored over family customs and work practices. Better to share the emotional and spiritual in the moment, rather than walk away and wonder why we feel awkward and disabled by not telling the truth about our feelings as they are happening and not later as an afterthought…
How often have relationships broken down because men and women have not been able to tell the truth to each other? In my life, I know the failure to share feelings in the moment of now, always lead to breakdowns, headaches and break ups of one sort or another. We have a programme which suggests that it is better to be open, honest and willing, as life is developing. If we are able to share our feelings as we go along, and be open and honest, relationships develop and become far more meaningful if we and they are agreeable to what is going on. And the good news about sharing feelings as they are happening, we get to find out if we are on the right path or just heading for a blind alley somewhere down the line…
The daily reflection from the AA daily reflections book, it shares about God moving in mysterious ways. I don't believe God moves in mysterious ways... It's just that we don't share the truth of what's going on with each other, the more we rely on chance, intuition and even telepathy as a source of fact, and of course they will be mysterious ways going on. Emotional and spiritual blindness is a common affliction, living our feelings in the moment of now is quite difficult to begin with, because it requires truth and the actions of being open, honest and willing to be a real human, being human in the moment of now. I can say with a lot of truth, that the truth of my feelings are still somewhat stunted when fear, pride and ego rise up to protect the inner me. I'm getting better at this, letting go of pride and ego. And the fear, which stops me telling the truth? What do I fear really? Rejection of course! Smiles here, it is better to be rejected sooner than later, the sooner we are rejected, the less pain we inflict on ourselves and we don't have to resent anyone for anything, because truthfully we are not "their cup of tea" on any given day… Of course, this can change if we become agreeable at some time in the future…
How do I feel this morning? I just listened to my phone messages which are extraordinarily funny and sent with love and that's all I can say about them. I am still having strange sleeping patterns, but for whatever reason sleep seems to have returned and I do feel refreshed. How do I feel refreshed? I feel emotionally okay and happy and serene just now. The world still turns, the world is still in crisis, and I can make sense of the insanity on a global scale. Why am I emotionally okay and happy and serene? Because my life today makes sense in the moment of now, and whatever is going on, I can feel it and understand it. Knowing my feelings right now, means I know how I'm thinking and thinking is influenced by my mood. If my mood is understood and working, I know how I am thinking and how the actions will be today. And sometimes, H. A. L. T, if I am hungry, if I am angry, if I am lonely and if I am tired, these feelings if I know them will influence my actions to put me back in balance, one day at a time, moment to moment, minute to minute, and hour by hour… As I learn continually what I can do and cannot do today, and the wisdom to know the difference grows through time and in every moment of now…
Alcoholics Anonymous | March 17 2012 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" "mysterious ways." There are many mysterious events in life, I hope for many more. Some mysteries become understandable and at the same time simply because we can explain the mystery it does not undermine the power of what is happening around us. Out of the dark, endarkenment and into the light, enlightenment…
I know there is no such word as endarkenment, but it fits well where I was back in the day. A friend of mine invented the word decades ago, "endarkenment." We were attending a leadership program, which in essence took away our emotional defences broke us down leaving us red raw emotionally. Drink led to endarkenment and like those who broke me I still detest what happened. Some things cannot be undone, with enlightenment though comes opportunity for new ways of living just for a day…
Our abilities to change come with life experience where we can develop new outlooks, new ways of life which can feel miraculous and mysterious. Like a Phoenix rising up from the ashes… The combined wisdom we can all access is always in the moment of now where we can develop our understanding of life, the truth of now, how to love and be loved back and useful in our endeavours. Nature and nurture in tandem working together just for today…
I have deep gratitude, from a very hurt person who could not cope with reality, to a person who can cope just enough with reality today. Self-hurt, will often lead into hurting those around us who care. And self-prejudice, will lead to a greater prejudice against ourselves and others who need to learn life all over again. Or indeed learn how to live life for the very first time, in the moment and just for today. Letting go self-prejudice opens the door to truth, love and wisdom…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
Boredom is the feeling we have as a result of an emotional and intelligent mind without purpose. Once we realise it’s a gift and not a burden, we find something to do with purpose. Not a quick fix, a lifelong journey, with plenty of hardship and good things too, one day at a time...
As in all matters of wisdom, common and universal principles of action become clear as we let go, self will run riot ~ Matthew Green [poet 17th century ] "Experience join'd with common sense, To mortals is a providence" -/- Life, its a kinda magic..
Letting go and finding our path with truth, love, and wisdom of the many ~ Mohandas Gandhi "Providence has its appointed hour for everything. We cannot command results, we can only strive." -/-
And be open to choices as they manifest... each and every day
From not knowing our need to change, to knowing and breaking our denial, to positive action ~ H. G. Wells "Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature's inexorable imperative." -/- Acceptance of the truth learned through experience, change and being able to adapt returns as we see reality, as nature always intended, a day at a time..
Fellowship, sanctuary to be open honest and willing to share our experience strength and hope ~ Henry David Thoreau "Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around." -/- In fellowship we do not question another fellow’s belief, we develop our own...
AA Daily Reflection: ~ MYSTERIOUS WAYS out of every season of grief or suffering, when the hand of God seemed heavy or even unjust, new lessons for living were learned, new resources of courage were uncovered, and that finally, inescapably, the conviction came that God does “move in a mysterious way His wonders to perform.” TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 105
After losing my career, family and health, I remained unconvinced that my way of life needed a second look. My drinking and other drug use were killing me, but I had never met a recovering person or an A.A. member. I thought I was destined to die alone and that I deserved it. At the peak of my despair, my infant son became critically ill with a rare disease. Doctors’ efforts to help him proved useless. I redoubled my efforts to block my feelings, but now the alcohol had stopped working. I was left staring into God’s eyes, begging for help. My introduction to A.A. came within days, through an odd series of coincidences, and I have remained sober ever since. My son lived and his disease is in remission. The entire episode convinced me of my powerlessness and the unmanageability of my life. Today my son and I thank God for his intervention.
Step Three Video 12 And 12
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 1 | Bill's Story |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 2 | There Is A Solution |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 3 | More About Alcoholism |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 4 | We Agnostics |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 5 | How It Works |
Alcoholics Anonymous Videos, AA is for Alcoholics, AA 12 Steps, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,
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