Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | March 8 2004 - 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 3 "Your Higher Power"
DonInLondon March 8, 2014: step three month: "made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." Care of God? As we understood him? Somebody mentioned this morning just how difficult it is to believe in something, anything beyond our own experience. That is probably why it took a lot of people a long time to discover that the world was not flat, and the world was not the centre of the universe, and we went round the sun rather than the other way round. Many people who live in the middle of nowhere have no clue what's going on. Beyond their own experience that is. Until Google turn up! Google maps are very good.
Fellowship provides vast amounts of experience strength and hope, shared by people who are firm in their religious beliefs and God, firm in their atheist beliefs, and that there is no God, and a lot of people who are confused, prefer to be agnostic and sit on the fence. That might be unfair, to suggest they sit on the fence, in my case, I'm not sure about anything of this magnitude beyond the experience of living to: truth, love and wisdom in the moment of now. In other words I surrender to the truth of now, rather than an opinion on it, I know I am loved without conditions by some. And I keep on learning how to love without conditions in the moment of now. Unconditional love, surrendering to the truth of now, I keep on learning the wisdom in the moment and experience keeps on growing. So I am happy to let go and surrender to the truth I learn from others, accept love given and love without conditions moment to moment. I can believe that God is truth, God is love and the wisdom develops as life carries on.
Believing that God is truth love and wisdom: surrendering to the truth of now, love as it manifests in the moment of now, wisdom, emotionally and spiritually keeps me where I am, simply in the moment of now. The book: sense and sensibility by Jane Austen, those two words came to mind. Yesterday, somebody was talking about their senses being in a state of shock, and their sensibilities or sensible outlook had been blown away. Somehow, someone had stopped loving them, and the tragedy was hurting immensely. Everyone has senses, the five senses, even a sixth sense about what is going on. If we keep in tune with our senses, we are sensitive to life and what is going on around us. And we might have quite a sensible outlook? May be our senses and sensible understanding of life will keep us safe. But take away what underpins everything, and nothing makes sense. When there is no love, there is nothing.
Truth, love and wisdom: learning how to surrender to the truth of now, how to be loved and love back, and the wisdom develops. Emotional and spiritual: the most important emotion is love, in the moment of now. Feeling love in the moment of now is wonderful. When there is no love in the moment of now, inside us or from others, it is bleak and desolate and that darkness can be crippling. When we are empty of love, we fill the gap with things, places and people in some way or other. The currency of life is about our capacity to love, to be loved back without conditions. And so often the currency of life is mistaken, covered up and hidden away and receives little nurture in a difficult world.
"All you need is love," "money can't buy you love," "love is in the air," somehow, somewhere all these feelings about love. And so often we cannot see love, we cannot quantify it, and we cannot do without it. Pride, ego and fear very often covering up not having any love, or not understanding love, simply being prejudiced against the world, or certain parts of it, which evoke hate, rather than love. Courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and confidence developing is where we are headed if we are fortunate and understand. Step six and step seven. Step six: pride, ego and fear which can manifest with any of the seven deadly sins. Step seven: courage, faith and confidence, they stop being shortcomings and become assets in recovery. If we are open, honest and willing to change, we experience more step seven, and less of step six. And this is always contingent on the current conditions today.
I'm hearing a lot of step six noise, feelings and behaviour are around anger and resentment at people who have killed themselves recently. And the horror when people commit suicide is horrible to experience in sobriety. We are human, and anger and resentment is really all part of grieving the loss of a human being who may have been loved immensely, and yet they lost their love of life and themselves. And step seven is going to take a lot of time: the route to acceptance is through step seven, about change, courage, faith and getting back to well-being as time affords. The disruption in our emotions, step six with anger and resentment, and then step seven, with courage, faith and then acceptance will keep many emotionally in turmoil for quite a time.
And this morning was strange in the early meeting where I go, I was late and stuck at the back and it took quite a lot of waving to share something in the meeting. I suppose I was just determined to have my say, I was sharing all about love. When we lose a person for whatever reason, we lose their love directly and there is a massive gap very often. And finding ourselves again takes time. The gap: love can fill the gap. And yet love will not come from those we have lost, no wonder we get angry when they are not there anymore. Where I live, one of the most expensive places on the planet to buy or rent. And somehow by accident I am still here, living, where my needs are met and wants are not worth considering as an option, it is not about money or things in my life, because that is not the true currency and it will never compensate for what is the most basic human need, which is love. I am loved, and I am able to love without conditions: love is precious and without price, that is the essence of being a human being today. Mind you if I win the lottery, a lot of people will feel the benefit, or not if it is a couple of quid.
Full Daily Blog Link:
DonInLondon 2004 - 2013
Alcoholics Anonymous | March 8 2013 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" "in the last chance saloon, what's God got to do with it?" The fellowship of AA. I thought Alcoholics Anonymous was my last chance, and the idea of being the last chance saloon is very appropriate in my understanding. I am happy to relate that there are a great deal of powers in this world, bigger than me, where there is experience, strength and hope shared daily. In the fellowship of AA, I was able to learn how to be sober and be sober one day at a time on a continuous basis because of the wisdom shared. If there is a God, or a higher power it seems to work through people, where I can find universal truth, love and wisdom today…
How could it be that stubborn and defiant people, nonconformist, living to the extremes and finding themselves in addictive behaviour, could find a way out? Collectively of course, and it seems so simple that when people come together in fellowship, it is a free choice and there are no rules, laws or regulations ever to govern. Groups and meetings decide how they will "be" through a "group conscience" which is always a power greater than one. The group decides and not the individual. We learn humility through action and not by in action or by being just a talking shop. Twelve steps for an individual to find and live sobriety, all action. Twelve traditions, which hold the fellowship in unity, service and recovery, all action again as trusted servants needing to work together and not be led by factions and headstrong individuals who might push the fellowship off course…
A recent meeting where I was able to listen to a share or "chair" by a person I've known all of my recovery. And they shared beautifully about what fellowship means to them. An emphasis that fellowship is all about love, learning what love is, how to love and how to be loved back. So important to know that everyone starts to understand that fellowship is based on love and sharing the emotional and spiritual journey which makes sobriety possible one day at a time. And sharing about how the first six steps are the old life which led into addiction and the next six steps are all about the new life without a drink. From fear to a faith… The nature of your faith is as it grows in you, the nature of my faith as it grows in me. Everyone develops faith and learns how to love and develop. Humility is the key. The nature of faith for each individual is different, the way to get to a faith is proven over and over again by utilising the twelve principles or twelve steps as they are. The steps will not make you a believer in God, unless God is where you are, they will deliver faith in your life as you develop a new outlook of courage to change and have confidence that you can, it is easy when you know how, and it is inexplicable when you don't know how, fellowship helps you find your way…
The meeting before the meeting, conscious contact with many people I have come to know over the years. Some describe us as a tribe, I don't mind that, and yet if anyone listens carefully to the AA preamble to a meeting, fellowship is not allied with anything, so what you believe about life is where you get to one day at a time. When I was a newcomer, step three, where God is mentioned, it did concern me, until I realised everyone has their own idea about God in their lives, or not! And you choose what is right for you. Someone said to me last night that he hoped we would be friends even when we get to heaven, whatever heaven might be, his friendship if we land in the same place, which some people call heaven, I will be very pleased to be their friend and chat now and then for eternity…
Who would've thought that a fellowship could teach the unteachable and last gaspers anything about life? I guess when we have been ruined by addiction and realise that life can get no worse, and we still have a choice to find reality again, it is an opportunity open to anyone anywhere, because of AA in my case. Simple suggestions, to face up to what has happened and keep in the company of like-minded people is truly difficult. Letting go having to do everything and make good on my own was the hardest thing to do. I was driven to prove myself, and then found I had nothing to prove to anyone, I needed simply to find out how to be myself without a drink in hand. I learn who I am on a daily basis and will know more by the end of the day, and I can make choices with freedom from addiction, and have freedom to choose the path open in the reality of now…
Love is behind everything, and when we cannot appreciate love and be able to love, or someone has withdrawn their love and desire for us, that is an extreme heartbreak. I don't know how many times I was heartbroken over the years, many times. And I had no defence against the pain of heartbreak, I just suppressed it with addiction and oblivion. There's nothing worse than abandonment, and eventually to abandon oneself as unworthy of living. I have deep gratitude for every day which dawns, even when endarkenment makes me feel the dread of loneliness. That dread is rare these days, learning the truth one day at a time helps me to be included, to be loved, even when I feel unworthy of it, I find love works every day. Love, maybe not in the way I imagined in the past, love in the present is ever present and not just from one person today. Romance and partnership can be part of this, if this may happen, what matters most is love and inclusion, and connection in whatever community we find ourselves today…
How am I feeling? I mentioned to another person that I loved them, which I feel was probably a bit of a shock to them. And this is what I've learned, we get to love people as they are and not as objects. When my dad was nearly at his end, he mentioned with regret that he had been superficial and indifferent in his relationships and family. And that he wished he had been able to cherish more and share is love and feel included. Those words seemed to hit hard inside me, and stick with me over the years, he's been dead a long time and yet those three words: cherish, superficiality and indifference. When we cherish people, they can feel it, and if we are superficial and indifferent with them, they will feel it. How we are with others is reflected in how they treat us. And I prefer to cherish these days when I can, and try not to be superficial and indifferent, because if I am that way with others I am that way with myself. Open, honest and willing, developing courage, faith and confidence, to love and to be loved back and find useful endeavours today…
A message, when I returned last evening. From my best friend, she loves me and I love her! A bond developed over the years, and sustainable, without conditions. Now that is unconditional love. We might not see each other every day, or even for a week or two, and still the conversation starts where it left off and continues one day at a time. No pressure, no worries. And just able to be myself and the same for her too. And a mutual friend, I bumped into last night gave me a hug. And as I was still in a meeting after the meeting, and in need of getting to a destination, some miles away, I saw them again in another part of London town. And the meeting after the meeting helped me realise that sharing what we know is founded on unconditional love, even when we don't know the impact on others and the words shared can be profound. I hope that makes sense, it does to me, wherever I go in London, nine times out of ten I encounter people I know and they know me today… I am comfortable in my own skin and sober today…
Alcoholics Anonymous | March 8 2012 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" Today's AA daily reflection: "turning our lives over to the care, protection, and guidance of?" From powerless and unmanageable to being restored to sanity and then letting go our old ways of coping is all about being open to new wisdom from wherever it comes. "Not invented here, or by me." Humility to learn and be vulnerable, try new ideas and actions is all part of setting ourselves free each and every day…
Video For Today:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq0jJu_iWlk
Thinking we know the answers today closes our minds to what other people can do to help us and guide us. "I need and I want and it's obvious," is not helpful when we are interdependent and must rely on the cooperation of others in our daily lives. Knowing is simply a starting point, what counts is putting our thinking into practical actions. And when our thinking is out of date, the actions will not work in today's living. We still need to find the right help in the right places about the right things…
Living to good principles, for example: truth, love and wisdom. Good principles remain constant and the idea of living truthfully, learning how to love and be loved back and developing wisdom are key to me in my recovery. At the same time truth about living keeps on changing, how we love people and how people love us back keeps changing and so does wisdom as a consequence… I learn what is good for me today, and may be a foundation to build upon for tomorrow…
When I turned my life over to the care, protection and guidance of others, which includes God if God works through people, I still need to pay attention. Sometimes I need recognise that my own ability to care, protect and guide others is limited and flawed, and that applies to everyone. Many can guide us back onto the highway of life, and equally there are many who will consciously or through ignorance, "lead us up the garden path." The road to hell is paved with good intent…
Common sense is often very uncommon…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
Every man and woman who has joined A.A. and intends to stick has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three. Isn't it true that in all matters touching upon alcohol, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of Alcoholics Anonymous?
Happy or sad we will find our path and serenity in loving our fellows ~ Wayne Dyer "A mind at peace, a mind cantered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe." Hurt people tend to hurt people, as we let go self-harm we find harmony inside and harmony outside...
Give with generosity of heart, and our generosity to ourselves grows with each moment, cherish always ~ Maya Angelou "I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver." -/- Give without condition or expectation, always...
Every element and feeling we live has purpose, light and dark, every moment is our spiritual connection to life and now... ~ Thomas Jefferson "Friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine." Life is a balance elemental, emotional and spiritual…
If we hold a prejudice insides us about another, we hold a prejudice against ourselves, if we hold another on a pedestal we will knock them down... ~ Albert Einstein "Everyone need be respected as an individual, but no one idolized." We can set ourselves and others for a fall, forgive and resent no one, or we waste time and perish in bitterness…
AA Daily Reflection: TURNING IT OVER ~ MARCH 8, Every man and woman who has joined A.A. and intends to stick has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three. Isn’t it true that in all matters touching upon alcohol, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of Alcoholics Anonymous? . . . Any willing newcomer feels sure A.A. is the only safe harbour for the foundering vessel he has become. Now if this is not turning one’s will and life over to a newfound Providence, then what is it? TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35
Submission to God was the first step to my recovery. I believe our Fellowship seeks a spirituality open to a new kinship with God. As I exert myself to follow the path of the Steps, I sense a freedom that gives me the ability to think for myself. My addiction confined me without any release and hindered my ability to be released from my self-confinement, but A.A. assures me of a way to go forward. Mutual sharing, concern and caring for others is our natural gift to each other and mine is strengthened as my attitude toward God changes. I learn to submit to God’s will in my life, to have self-respect, and to keep both of these attitudes by giving away what I receive.
Step Three Video 12 And 12
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 1 | Bill's Story |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 2 | There Is A Solution |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 3 | More About Alcoholism |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 4 | We Agnostics |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 5 | How It Works |
Alcoholics Anonymous Videos, AA is for Alcoholics, AA 12 Steps, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,
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