December 9 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 12 Living Principles Alcoholics Anonymous Today's Daily Reflections: "spiritual health: contingent on my emotional and spiritual connection to the moment of now…" Emotional health, where I understand the feelings I am experiencing as life hits me in the face full on. Spiritual health is where all feelings any human has can be experienced and the impact they have is understood. Feelings impact my thinking and my actions in the moment of now…
Video For Today:
Often we can find ourselves in a new situation where old feelings of fear are set alight again. A natural reaction when we encounter danger of some sort or other. Old patterns of reaction and action can come into the real moment of now, when they are not necessarily the best response to what is going on. We can suddenly recall old times and old events and the need to cover up and suppress, reminders of old guilt and shame can close us down very quickly. Until we break the patterns of the past, we can still remain stuck. Letting go fear, anger and resentment will always help. We need to forgive ourselves, and we need to forgive the pain and hurt we felt as a result of other people's behaviour and we need forgive them. People are the best they can be in the moment of now, and sometimes it is very far from acceptable in our own eyes...
December is all about sharing a message in the literature book, "AA daily reflections." Sharing a message of experience, strength and hope is what we do by demonstrating a new way to live by what we do and the actions people can see. We become different in recovery, if that is what we are learning to do. We do not become puritans, we don't become saints, we become human and very sensitive human beings, actually, that is what we can become if we do change. Some people do not change in recovery, they remain abstinent from alcohol, and a dry drunk, because they do not deal with the emotional and spiritual aspects of living in the moment. An angry dry drunk, is a really good example to newcomers of what happens when the twelve step principles are not being utilised in practice. Mind you, each and everyone in fellowship can be a dry drunk. Depending on what happens today, we can encounter good, bad and ugly situations which bring out the best in us, or the worst in us. If we are self-aware, we do get a choice in our behaviour and outcomes. Today, just for today, we can be free, and it is a choice in the moment…
The AA daily reflection today, "love with no price tag." In doing twelfth step work, actually, as I write, I realise twelve step work is not work, it is practising a principle of sharing a message of recovery. We may be sharing with a newcomer or somebody just uncertain about their current situation with regard to addiction or somebody trying to help another person with addiction. By being open, honest and willing to share the truth as we understand it, there is no price tag attached to truth. Unless of course we feel the truth might hurt us in some way. Actually the only thing which can hurt us is our attitude toward the truth. Do we really want people who are prejudiced against us to rule our behaviour as an alcoholic in recovery? I for one don't, and that is my opinion and not suggestion, it is a personal choice when it comes to anonymity…
And abuse of trust, within the law. Call up a hospital, and ask about a patient as if we are a relative to elicit private information. A prankster call for the entertainment the populace. Having made the call, got the information and broadcast across the world, and someone involved, committed suicide. Those who thought the prank funny, those who initiated the prank were perfectly within the law which led to a person taking their own life. And we look for the fault in the person who could not stand tough and see the funny side of the breach of trust. Outrage, denial and grief permeate the airwaves. Deriving pleasure from humiliation of another human being for their gullibility has sent many to an early grave. Ask any reformed bully how they feel these days… And ask any living victim how they feel about breach of trust these days…
Today’s reflection, love with no price tag is a truth in recovery. We do try practice these principles in all our affairs. In meetings and face to face we share experience strength and hope and oddly we do love people and hate their behaviour from time to time. Love the person, know behaviour. Behaviour can be horrible, mine was for a long time and yet I was still loved…
Just back from a meeting called “just for today.” Always good seeing people I love, like, am getting to know. And of course some people I need not love like or get to know. We are all in fellowship and life together. And the same applies; I am certainly not everyone’s cup of tea!
December 9 2010 ~ At the extremes of success or failure, my life became very precarious and unsustainable. When people told me that sober, the path becomes narrower, I was not too thrilled. And then I found as the path narrowed, my emotional and spiritual experience became much deeper and more profound in the moment of now...
December 9 2010 ~ Back in the day, I was forever seeking the next best experience, trying to fix myself. The next right relationship, the next right job, the next right anything, always about the next fix. Today, I live the experience of now, learning how I am feeling, why and what to do. With a lot of help from my friends today!
AA Daily Reflections ~ "LOVE WITH NO PRICE TAG When the Twelfth Step is seen in its full implication, it is really talking about the kind of love that has no price tag on it. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Page 106
In order for me to start working the Twelfth Step, I had to work on sincerity, honesty, and to learn to act with humility. Carrying the message is a gift of myself, no matter how many years of sobriety I may have accumulated. My dreams can become reality. I solidify my sobriety by sharing what I have received freely. As I look back to that time when I began my recovery, there was already a seed of hope that I could help another drunk pull himself out of his alcoholic mire. My wish to help another drunk is the key to my spiritual health. But I never forget that God acts through me. I am only His instrument. Even if the other person is not ready, there is success, because my effort on his behalf has helped me to remain sober and to become stronger. To act, to never grow weary in my Twelfth Step work, is the key. If I am capable of laughing today, let me not forget those days when I cried. God reminds me that I can feel compassion!"
December 9 2007
DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ why Does life hurt so Much?
Grief Indeed - why does it hurt so much..
A good day for me overall, so why the gloomy questions? It has been a good day because I have written to friends and made contact, and tried to be myself in all my doings today.
Sunday Lunch with Family
I live on my own and am currently single. Not always so and much love and connection over the years with wonderful women in my life. I guess a part of me was always concerned I might not be good enough and in some ways I understand the lack of confidence inside me had a lot to do with relationships foundering and often with relief. What on earth would a woman do if she ever realised the truth of me? And these days I see it now, that I was hard to get to know, and having been heart broken in my early years and in relationships, a pattern did emerge.
Why mention all the past things before talking about lunch? I am sure its because its just five months since my Sister’s partner Christopher died. We were talking over lunch, me my mum and my sister. And it is not at all surprising that the feelings of loss and grief are still as strong today and profoundly felt. If we love deeply and we mostly do, then our partner is lost to us either dead or because they have moved on, then we feel grief as sharp as dying ourselves. And worse it continues for as long as it may, and our outlook can only be as our heart mends enough to make life work again.
Can We Love Too Much Or Too deeply?
Fortunately love is not a quantifiable asset or commodity, either we do or we don’t. and this is horrible when we are left surviving without the love we had for another. This feels worst in early days and only do we let go our feelings as life and time move us along. We never forget or need stop loving and honouring memories, yet we do move on and fill our gaps as life helps us.
Conversations With People about Grief
There have been many conversations over the years with people who have experienced loss. I can recall talking to my Grandma about Grandpa, my Mum about my Dad. And so many more about grief with friends and with people who paid me to listen. Grief is as it may be, one of life experiences and it happens as many times as we are in family and in relationships. Grief just is a part of life we fail to understand because its definitely not what we wanted if love was the key.
Understanding grief is a process helps us, it does not help stop the pain or wish for the clock to turn back, it affords much misery as we connect daily to our losses. Letting go is not forgetting it is about honouring and then understanding a new way living with the hardest of experience. Grief has no superficial or quick fix, we may deny as we may and eventually if we live long enough we understand loss and how to live more completely as time helps and acceptance settles.
Today And Fellowship
Getting to a meeting tonight helped me get my senses back to living in the day. I feel for my sister because I understand, I cannot feel it for her, it is bad enough once removed and having lost a friend. So I keep to fellowship express my situation and it helps me express my feelings as there are. Sorrow and sadness and powerless indeed to help other than to be available and be ready to remove myself when so wished.
Many people find Christmas a torture, for the alcoholic it’s a reason to relapse unless we follow careful steps and keep safe with family friends and fellowship as we determine through learning.
Much Sadness - Much Joy
A bitter sweet irony these days as life has gone along, the good we remind ourselves, the sadness of who is no longer with us or around us. Many people I have known some close enough to feel acute sadness and some distant enough to express sorrow at their passing. It is a difficult time of year.
We need compassion, not to forget wilfully, honour those we have loved and cannot be in our lives for whatever the reason. We need be careful with feelings and not push them away. Feeling the grief and expressing our pain is all to the good of a life in recovery. And of course for every human, loss and recovery of our wits comes slowly the deeper our sense of pain and agony. We can live so, a broken heart can mend or sometimes we do not wish it so, we need find purpose once again and that is a hard ask of anyone.
Overall a good day, an acknowledgment of me and where I am. Just as one can be on a Sunday, its cold outside, smiles and warm in my heart for loves lost and in a temperate mode there is acceptance today for how life is today and may be as the dawn calls us to a new day..
9th December 2006
A Day in the Life - Life in a Day
What an odd day of sorts. With so much going on all the time how do we find the time to reflect on anything? Or is it painful to sit too long and wonder where we are, where we are going and what we may do? All these conundrums work themselves up in me from time to time.
Two Meetings and the Clinic Today
So why did I do two meetings as well as the Hospital today. Its one of those things I determined last night I would have my appointment at the Hospital to discuss progress and my various ailments. All three came up as well as doing life too. And doing life seemed to be my preoccupation literally, as an occupation beyond survival is definitely my preference.
At the hospital I bumped into to two fellows from the fellowship and it prompted me to consider going to the back of Buckingham Palace meeting at noon, as the meeting is called High noon, its appropriate and I have not been there really for a year or so. My clinic meeting was good and I am making progress in some ways and in others not so as some conditions fluctuate and in particular walking is a key problem even with pain relief.
Plenty of people I know and I arrived wet and only a minute or so late. Pedal power from Fulham to high noon, well it’s a bit faster than public transport and although it was raining I felt it was good for exercise, a number one priority for me with type 1 diabetes. The meeting as sort of flat actually when I arrived, but got better as people shared and related, and we had a newcomer turn up quite drunk and in need of help and a coffee. Seems its not unusual this time of year as Christmas cheer is an awful temptation for some. I felt ok and although quite knackered from the ride, had a good chat and welcome from people I have not seen in a while. I gave my number to someone whilst there to discuss other matters not totally fellowship. And tonight someone else asked for my number. I do warn people I do turn off my phone so please to not be offended if it takes time to get through.
It was a good experience even though slightly depressing. And at the same time I heard a share which caught my attention, again for matters not of the fellowship, but actually to do with me and people I know. I wonder if ears were burning somewhere, I don’t know, but I felt a lot better for gaining insights that might have haunted me a long while if I had not gone.
We learn more by doing than thinking
We do learn more by being out and about, it gives context and flavour to all our living and circumstances. At the same time we can be quite sure, if we had stayed home, our ignorance and isolation would have left us with imagination and wonder, rather than truth and acceptance of life as it is.
Was good at the old curiosity shop. And as someone I know gave their chair and their views of recovery. I fully connected to some truths about me and my situation.
It does, and its taken me a long time to come to terms with me. I was a poor learner early on, for whatever the reason, a late developer, a fearful Chap who needed more to make life work. And I had no clue, nor did anyone else or they would have done what they could. So many early experiences can knock us off course and make fear a motivator rather than my preferred option which is love.
We do live life in the programme
Yes we darn well do. We live it, by the very action of getting out to fellowship meetings and being active in doing life. Now what I heard tonight made me see quite a few truths for me.
Life in a Day rather than a day in the Life
When our world has been so tormenting we have lost our reason and become hooked on oblivion, we are at our lowest ebb, the rock bottom of life. Where we know without doubt there is no life left. And at this rock bottom we see in perverse ways, that it cannot be worse than it can be back then. Rock bottom of course in oblivion is insanity indeed, only when we get more reality do we encounter rock bottoms in recovery. Far harder for everything is real, the pain, the anguish, the torments, the desolate times where black pervades all moments from day to days end.
Life in a day - A day in the Life
For indeed we do crawl along till we have healed a bit more, to take on board living at all, and life gets more complicated all over again. Yet we forget its not a day in the life we are looking to achieve, it’s a life in a day where we know we can succeed.
How odd after years of scraping about and all the experience I have had, that the truth of a life is just one day long.
Life in a Day
Yes with recovery and all it entails, getting through one day is as hard as life gets. And that is true of all living and knowing if only we are clued up. Even when we know we have futures to plan, we live a life in a day and not the other way round.
A day in the life
My day in a life today has probably woken me up to this simple and yet obvious truth, to live life as real today and not wait till its done before I make up my mind. Life in a day is best lived as truly comes our way. We may live as we can, and with attention to our situation, we can make it good or as is , sometimes so harsh we can gasp, or we live through the fun as if it were a chore. Its both and magnificent all rolled into one simple day. The imperfect perfection of each day as it comes.
Life in a day
It is truly our connection to our reality, and so often we miss its point if we forget, it is reality as we know it and nothing else will change, unless we are active in living just one simple day.
It was great to hear action and progress, pitfalls and success, anguish and misery, gratitude and love. Joy and utter sadness all in a day, no other fellowship has given me so much, the tools to live life. Where I learned to live life comes from family and experiences. I was immensely successful most of the way, and yet it touched nothing inside when times took me to places where I had no value and dark was illuminated by dark.
And now with little material in the worldly ways we may accumulate and certainly less strength, I am renewed and rejuvenated by simple straight truths. A return to my outlook as learned when young and values I can live, as hard as that may be, a touch of spiritual, keeping it in the moment, and working hard as we do, to get to live this one day.
Life in a day, it feels just right, a day in the life as we can reveal in words we can share. Living is action and not from a book, although inspiration comes where we often least expect as we look.
From youth to old timers, from the red raw with hurts, to recruits, to people who live life where else would I look? Outwards of course forever outwards I will endeavour. In good time and whatever pace I can make this world work just for the day. And appraise and refine, and be frustrated too, doing my best as best is what we all really do. I learn my insides from my outsides!
I wrote this as quickly as if it would be lost, its easy to feel good and forget as quickly as we experience. Times best recorded and never to be lost, repeated over and over by others who share my outlook. All to the good as we help ourselves along, in fellowship when we are good and grudgingly too when it all goes wrong. We are human, and humans learn by endeavour success and by our failures, actually both are the same as Kipling remarks.
It is simply as the world and reality are just this one day we have. Life in a day…so easy to say, so hard to live? Well not this one day…
December 9th 2004
The respect you earn is not less or more than your own self-respect. Therefore, respect yourself and God and the world will respect you.
It is tough, to respect others when they appear to have no respect for any other. Every day, the smallest of slights can be upsetting. It happened to me just now, I am in a no smoking zone and someone else lights up. My immediate reaction is indignation, a bit of how dare they creeps into me. I decide I am here right now to regulate no one but me. I will not smoke or break a ban that is in place. And I will get on with my time and make most use of it.
Respect is a simple and easy attitude to develop. We know how we might be treated and how others might treat us. We need to be open to respect, and confidence that, for the most part we get respect from others. Don't let another’s lack of respect dull your own senses, or we follow them into despair, negativity and sadness.
Just For Today And Every Day, Cherish Always...
“Awakening as the result of what? The result, or consequence of taking the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is a Spiritual Awakening. Please reflect that this step does not say the awakening comes as the result of taking steps 1 through 11, those preceding Step 12. On the contrary, the awakening comes as the result of taking these (all of the twelve) steps, including Step 12. (If you disagree, that is wonderful. Keep on digesting these steps.)” Big Book Bunch
December 2012 | Playlist About Step Twelve: Step Twelve Playlist
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve
AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections
December 2012 | Step Twelve Reading Video Link:
December 2012 | Video Reading How It Works:
December 2012 | Video Reading A Vision For You:
December 2012 | Video About Grief And Depression