December 11 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 12 Living Principles Alcoholics Anonymous Today's Daily Reflections: "genuine humility is about truth, love and wisdom…" Humility is much more than this, an attitude of mind which is formed through living life, realising how interdependent we all are, and an understanding of equality. Humility to keep on learning from mistakes, actually, simply to keep on learning from life and everyone around us…
Video For Today:
In recovery, what would we remember from the sharing of other people? That they never have a bad day? That they went to their first meeting and got sober? There are such fortunates! Mostly my experience, people are dealing with the good, the bad and the ugly of life on a daily basis and sharing about it, inside and outside the fellowship. We are lucky if life is good, bad and ugly. There are other words, like ecstatic, horrific, and other extremes of experience. Addiction is an extreme experience, to the point where we cannot make sense of the world, our emotional and spiritual experiences can only be felt at emotional extremes, or numbed to the point of oblivion. Sharing experience, strength and hope in recovery, where every feeling and every nuance of feeling becomes understandable and something we can experience in the moment and just for today, and hopefully another…
Other people share their truth, love and wisdom in their own way. There is not just one way to share, there are many ways to share. Humility to keep on sharing truth, love and wisdom… I still want to tell tall tales from time to time to make a point and feel that there was something worthwhile in those halcyon drinking days. Better to acknowledge that the halcyon drinking days, where life felt so wonderful ended up very squalid, desolate and not wanting to wake up anymore. There are good times to be recalled and at the same time the worst of times. All of the truth helps, and sometimes a dollop of exaggeration will occur, less so these days. Back in the olden days, most of the time there was much love, truth and wisdom being learned and the contrast today? Still a learner, and happier on this path, the emotional and spiritual path of now than I have ever been… Of course, sometimes I wish everything would work physically like it used to, and that's human nature or my human nature as it is today…
Indeed I would have liked to have developed more courage, faith and confidence as a youngster. Rather than covering up fear, putting on a brave face and ego bristling so I could not be shamed or feel guilty or inadequate. Some are sometimes gifted with truth, love and wisdom and have courage, faith and confidence for whatever reason. It is good when courage, faith and confidence are working in this new way of life a day at a time and let go the old fears, brave facing and egotistical traits that grew and grew all those years, moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. Letting go the old life characterised in step six, and continually living the new life, characterised in step seven. Humility affords me the luxury and the pain of reliving old characteristics and new characteristics with all the challenges in living life today…
Recent interviews with radio presenters who made a prank call to a hospital and then a nurse died as a result. I don't know how true that is from the reporting which is incomplete. The presenters wanted to state their case, still in shock and denial and showing that they were complicit with others in the prank. The others involved in the prank, legal people, managers and executives all seem to have fallen short in understanding the consequences of their actions. They don't want to be responsible and legally justified the prank in some way. Accountability appears to be denied and yet the consequences resulted in death. Each person need examine their conscience and their part in it. There will be much more said and done, and the scrutiny of the victim and looking for clues in the victim will be a part of the justification, and the outcomes? Tragedy and blight on all those directly concerned, including the patient and their family…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
Sobriety is often said to be “an inside job.” I need to be careful; the inside job is living reality and contingent on my spiritual condition. Living reality, listening and learning, and most important understanding my mood, how it affects my thinking and then the actions I take. Old behaviour: step six and fear, new behaviour step seven and faith. In truth a bit of six, and more seven, faith is good just for today…
Humility: to keep learning the truth today. The more I find the truth of who I am, which simply happens now, how I feel, and then how I think and as a consequence how I behave. Learning the truth of who I am is in my actions today. Secrets kept me stuck, shame and guilt kept me stuck, not feeling right, fear which came out as anger and resentment or worse, silence as I wondered what people thought. Today I may ask for help, share, learn from others and how to love, be loved and free in my choices and actions today...
December 11 2010 ~ with humility the ability to keep on learning and humility is the greatest challenge. We learn more and think more which is difficult. We think we know better. I know I need challenges to my thinking, my best thinking kept me drinking for decades. Now, emotional and spiritual learning keeps me sober today...
December 11 2010 ~ recovery life in fellowship with twelve steps: action to improve my emotional and spiritual condition. Experiencing sober reality with clarity was a shock to me, nothing to take the edge off my feelings. Emotions were extreme, raw and it took time for them to settle. Most often my feelings match my reality as it is today...
AA Daily Reflections ~ "A GENUINE HUMILITY if we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This is to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 192
Experience has taught me that my alcoholic personality tends to be grandiose. While having seemingly good intentions, I can go off on tangents in pursuit of my “causes.” My ego takes over and I lose sight of my primary purpose. I may even take credit for God’s handiwork in my life. Such an overstated feeling of my own importance is dangerous to my sobriety and could cause great harm to A.A. as a whole. My safeguard, the Twelfth Tradition, serves to keep me humble. I realize, both as an individual and as a member of the Fellowship, that I cannot boast of my accomplishments, and that “God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”
-/-
December 11 2007
DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ Mythology - Dangerous Games In Living
Without Prejudice
When we see the words without prejudice, we may wonder what might follow. Often used as a legal term it offers a writer or a speaker the licence to share what they believe may be truthful and with pejorative reformations. Which means delivering a selective truth as we understand it. And as we have truth so too the rest of the world has truth. We can be sure of one thing, we have a point of view which works, and others have their point of view too it works for them, and then we have whatever may follow..
I was worn out yesterday and could not do all on my agenda for the day. And it disturbs me not living to commitments made. Still I need let people know what is going on and how it may be. Not always to a grand plan, or to grandiose moments which can undo us.
I always try to do the next right thing and when it feels selfish like going home to rest up because I am weary, it feels like letting down the side. Or in this case a person who asked and now I could not so. I need remind myself I am human, as my physical body sometimes make me feel inadequate, then so it will be.
What follows is a letter to a friend and keeps me mindful of all we are, in life we make our way, just one moment to the next.
Hi [xxxxxxxx]
You inspire me,
Listening to Kate Bush and Peter Gabriel - “there is a place where we belong.”
Music has a light touch on a heavy heart and a heavy heart hardly hears the words, yet every sentiment is conveyed in nuance when we hear what moves us to our core.
I smile and share a happy imagined flight to far away, where each moment is understood as hearts beat and we hear the waves of time. Connection across the oceans of this earth. Not my words, some I heard in wistful moments making anything possible.
Your vacation location, unknown to me and maybe a place to find some peace of mind and mend and know a time beyond dreams. I am smiling and would pack my bag and then realise this adventure is yours. As life happens so it may be. We have our good to choices as time makes our choices good in each day.
To feel the touch of life, and the bittersweet recollections make us perfectly human and with apt moments to reflect on what we may do to make us feel a completion and give us a sense of happy being even in the sorrow so oft spun to angry memories we can let go gently.
Closure for some as life is moved on inexorably and with our power to influence is made in the choices and intent we have. Life happens as it will and adventures are worth the effort. We need never abandon ourselves to life forces not for us. We can gently move along and make good another interlude of living and learning. We need know our needs and be wise with them. Wants are often beyond and still we want for the return of innocence to start over.
Closure is an art of recollection and acceptance, a gift of experience, we need not let go the essence and feelings to emptiness, or we may repeat over and over. We move in time and become more, with wisdoms learned and shared.
Happy news we need start over anytime which suits. To feel the excitement and possible moments, we are given every chance to make it so with what we have. The reality and spiritual connection is never lost in our physical world as one emotes and another level within is roused to meet dreams fulfilled to shake our being. A gift from the universe, love and all it holds in this ever present, perfectly imperfect life we live.
I am sure the rhythm of life will afford as our feelings make the moment so to joy or sorrow in their measure, we have no clue...
Everything we are we bring to this spiritual moment. Spiritual is neither the joy or sorrow, it is both as we feel both tears for reality and every past experience to this gentle, exciting invigorating moment of now. We have choice and life to lead us where we may roam.
And you need roam free and keep safe to mending and being your own truth.
As to me, I am learning how beguiling it is to share truth, and still know truth is all the story and still we have not yet found all truth may be. So many lifetimes it would take an eternity to comprehend love, the true universe predicated on every element mankind can come to know and deploy in this one moment. We have no real business living in any other place, or we hark to times past, useful in our choice of now, and having no place in the future tense, as the future is never to be written with a human hand. We can guess and still life holds no sway to guarantee our inner wishes.
Foresee as we might - draw from science and from an art defined often in intuitive gaze.. The soothsayer knows elemental, the metaphysic ponders too long. And life changes as life has to move along, slow enough for them to be right and masterful in the eyes of the apprentice wizards we are, beguiled by foresight soon to be forgotten.
There is no future perfect, as we live a perfectly formed moment as all elements drive to this second we hold forever ephemeral fading into our history as we may experience all we can be. We are like the waves and expanse across universe we cannot see, as our imagination holds our sway, a shiver holds us just so.
Life’s gift, we can be set as nature intends with authentic and similar craft we can make our choices to be. Nurture need not hold us to ransom as civilisation is made and made again. As we may be, so we can be.
Our key is to live as we feel best and most able, excitement in new experiences and a reckoning to help wounds heal. We need choose and be happy in our choices. Make and find the good of good choices, to be as being can be.
Life, a gift beyond all measure, cherished as we may.
Don xx
11th December 2006
Hurt People Hurt People
Yes I am back on this subject tonight. For ages and ages I have tried to remain impassive and impartial to others behaviour. And in truth and with advice and without prejudice, sometimes we have to withdraw our associations for any further connections lend themselves to hurt.
Hurt people hurt people
Its absolutely true that when we are hurt, we have as instinct the reaction not only of disapproval, we have anger and frustration and every element sometimes all the way to feelings or rage and a desire to violent outbursts, either verbal or physical.
We get hurt its true with every passing moment and we try as we may, either to lift ourselves out of it and get on or we are submerged and buried in all the torments of hurt.
Hurting Others
I am trying my very level best to stay out of the way of others and their feuds, their lives which suck me in and ask of me, to be this way or that. And there comes a time when we realise whatever we may wish, to persuade or otherwise, we have absolutely no power over anyone. Its an illusion even if we may force an issue one way or another we will never persuade others to a view through power over them. And we might do well to acknowledge the truth. We cannot change people, we can change ourselves and our attitudes and our behaviour.
Non Compliance
There is no point to compliance if we don’t accept the influence, if we don’t accept the premise to behave a certain way, or be a certain way. We never need be compliant with badness, hurt and making our lives or other lives worse off. We need find our path to good living and behaving to our preference whatever this is, and find acceptance in ourselves. We need not comply or pretend or go along with anything we feel is wrong. We need not be party through passive notions and taking no action to stop our connection to ill will and self will run amok.
We learn our path through experience and we learn everything we may do from life and advice and listening, and trying to do the right thing. We don’t need be involved or pushed around by others who might bully and make use of external forces to shame us to their will and their point of view.
Choice
Choices to the good and to the bad. We all make choices and reap what we sow. We need not make life harder for people, nor may we engage and make possible more wrong doing and more mayhem. When we are taught from experience that enabling others to keep their ill will and self will run amok, we are working to our detriment and our inclinations.
Our choices and actions inform others as others actions inform us.
People and us, we make our choices and live with consequences. Either people accept and let us continue, or disagree and withdraw.
Choice to the good
Try do no harm, be open be honest, be fair, be observant of our needs and other’s needs. Open, honest and willing. Powerless over others, places and things. Choices for our future maintained with honest judgement to the good.
Choices to the Bad
We can choose to do nothing, or comply through silence or through inaction. We are not served by dishonest dealings, dishonesty generally, and dishonesty we use against others. Lies abound when we cover our tracks, we cover up our truth we use others and their talents. Our bad choice is always going to have impact on us and on others who may trust us to try do the next right thing.
Feeling bad and letting down others
We can all learn from our mistakes and our belief in the good of others. But when others continue to deceive, to do harm, to treat others with indifference and superficial behaviour, or to turn out to be dishonest in all elements and dealings, we need to let go and move along.
We can have learned our path from our wrong doings, we can make good our behaviour and our attitudes as we learn life every day. We need to keep on learning, we need to keep on trying to do the right thing.
Reactions and Responses
If we react, its most likely in the heat of the moment, if we respond we have taken time to make our choice and our judgment for ourselves. We cannot ever make judgments and impose them on others or expect others to follow our mistakes that we make. We can influence and all go the wrong way when are reacting, and we can learn from our behaviours and our attitudes.
Fear of reprisal and fear of ourselves.
Fear does rule our outlook to an extent, but when we feel so strongly that attitudes and behaviour of others we know is so off and so hurtful ,we can withdraw and be sad, and be circumspect.
It hurts to let others down, and hurts us when others let us down. And we need to break free blame, dishonesty, hurting and pain inflicted by condoning badness, even though our passivity.
Tonight
After many, many deliberations over and over I heard the words from others who had similar issues on other matters. Sometimes we have to withdraw, to be separate from others hurting others. And we need stop hurting others too in our behaviours and attitudes. There is no point to enduring others behaviour to the bad, there is every point to moving on and not being a part of others bad deeds.
It takes a lot for me to change course, to give up, to withdraw and let people out of my living, I prefer somehow with good conscience to influence others to the good. And again tonight I was reminded gently that others will do what they do, and I may choose my own path.
Hurting ourselves for a quiet life?
It never works we put others anger before our good sense, and it never works to retaliate, it just starts more aggravation and ultimately the same outcome, we get disconnected and live with consequences.
I am trying simple straightforward living
This open honest and willing to be connected do good things for myself and everyone I encounter. I accept I make mistakes and make errors of judgment, and do my best to correct what I have done. I also accept I have no power to change anything but myself. And what others think or feel about me is truly not my concern. For I cannot please anyone if I am not myself and holding to good conscience and integrity. Any move off my chosen path hurts me inside, either emotionally or spiritually.
So often said
Our path and journey in life is learning to live it in the moment of now, without regret and without prejudice. I heard this message over and over tonight. To keep to good conscience and integrity. It does me no good to be passive and be used in others misunderstandings and actions against my principles. Sometimes the consequences will feel hard and hurtful inside me, and at the same time healing will produce a more resolute individual to the good of living each day.
Learning in action, as painful as all living, peace sought in quiet mind stilled with conscience in the ever present, present moment of now.
Every day we may forgive everyone everything, find acceptance is a key, and for everything we do there is a consequence we live now and in our future as we learn from life, how life may be lived…
December 11th 2005
Spin
We all have principles and values. When we find others who seem to have than we do, we tend to make out they have none at all. A person of no principle and no value. What we really mean is they don't have the same principles and values we set out for our lives. So when we say a person has high principles and values, well all it means is theirs are like ours and we attach great importance to that person's similar outlook.
In recent times the need for acceptance from our peers and from more influential types in our world makes us want to appear good and just. This applies at all levels of society, and especially with people in the public eye.
People in the public eye are careful with their outward profile. They hold to society norms in the main, they will go out on limbs for high principles and they keep a lock on their private doings, so we don't take them down or think less of them. Spin is an art. Spin is about telling the selective truth. Spin is about putting our best foot forward. Spin is most associated with politicians. Spin is about sometimes telling. Absolute falsehoods in order to keep an orderly outlook and opinion. Spin is a ruthless tactic for declaring honesty and meaning the opposite very often. Spin has threads which hold to facts. Spin holds stories which highlight acceptable outlooks and outcomes. Spin does nothing for the good, if good were its intent. Of course, spin is not about good at all and we might be mindful why spinning is neither science or art we might support. Yet spinning is an art and science, it is malfeasance and mischief. It is about smoothing over cracks and alarming realities which nobody really wants to get a grip of...
Spin starts early in life. Fairy stories, tales from our imagination, the Bogey Man, Witches and Warlocks, supernatural powers, parables, homilies and tales with magical qualities.
Maybe the very beginning in our psyche, to transcend the real and raw. For when we look at our human condition, we certainly have ego and insecurity which keeps us busy and feeling less than we are. In fact (fact?) we make ourselves less than we are, every time we put a spin on something, every time we put outcomes take to some spiritual intervention. We believe and we accept, we draw on luck and happenstance. Well maybe not happenstance, that randomness with affords good and ill luck.
Spin so deep set, we argue to God and Nature, that we transcend this life and we are offered up to the spirit world for redemption through incarnation and rebirth. And we learn if we are lucky redemption is brought forward when our denial is left out of our acceptance of this world. Spin can keep us healthy too, healthy in useful deluded states until we cope better with the reality of our lot. And thank our luck, our stars, our God for that!
Actually thank nature. Or if we take note of thinkers of our times, even Einstein saw purpose in all things. I choose to believe he is as right as can be on that score.
Spin our best friend, our culprit our palliative, our necessary evil, I salute you and would scratch out your existence if it were possible. But without it, where would we be? The world spins and so do we, the longer the better, for ever and ever...
December 11th 2004
Patience
The fruits of patience are always sweet - mangoes cannot be grown by hurrying.
-/-
Just For Today And Every Day, Cherish Always...
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“Awakening as the result of what? The result, or consequence of taking the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is a Spiritual Awakening. Please reflect that this step does not say the awakening comes as the result of taking steps 1 through 11, those preceding Step 12. On the contrary, the awakening comes as the result of taking these (all of the twelve) steps, including Step 12. (If you disagree, that is wonderful. Keep on digesting these steps.)” Big Book Bunch
December 2012 | Playlist About Step Twelve: Step Twelve Playlist
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AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve
Big Book And Twelve And Twelve
AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections
December 2012 | Step Twelve Reading Video Link:
December 2012 | Video Reading How It Works:
December 2012 | Video Reading A Vision For You:
December 2012 | Video About Grief And Depression
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