Alcoholics Anonymous | June 29 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 29 2013: step six in mind… "A question of balance: step six and defects, step seven and shortcomings. The scales and weight of step six and step seven. On one side of the scales, step six with fear, pride and ego, on the other side of the scales, shortcomings of courage, faith and confidence. Our attitudes and behaviour, contingent on the day and current conditions, we can be weighed down by step six, or with step seven, standing firm developing our courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and confidence to keep learning…"

Almost like a seesaw effect: step six can be pulling us into old behaviour as we struggle or we can be buoyed up by step seven, where we develop and change to meet the needs of what is happening. We can be at sixes and sevens, sliding from one to the other. Depending on the current day and the current events, we will always be challenged and the difference between our approach is contingent on reminding ourselves that the old ways are not necessarily as good as the new ways. Every day we can learn new ways to respond, or we get stuck and can find ourselves back in anger and resentment, with expectations far in excess of the current way life is. People, places and things and our reaction to them, and then our responses, if we can pause long enough we can have courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and be confident it is okay even when things don't turn out the way we might wish or expect today… Forgive everyone everything, and then we are part of the forgiving process of living… And of course there are consequences…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 29 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 28 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 28 2013: step six in mind… "Anger and resentment! Expectations are resentments under construction. Other people will make mistakes about us, other people will get in the way of what we need and want." Needs met, wants forgotten. Basic needs and gratitude help put perspective on any problem today. Writing a gratitude list may seem like a lame exercise? What am I grateful for first and foremost? 1.Alive and kicking. 2.sober and my emotional state understood. 3.living in the moment of now. 4.knowing what I can do and cannot do today and the wisdom to know the difference. 5.I'm one of the lucky ones, and learning who I am one day at a time. 6.just because I think I know the answer, I could be wrong! 7.acceptance in the moment of now, means I can let go all the other bollocks which gets in the way of being grateful today…

I do not want to be hurt or angry about anything today, it can happen and when I'm hurting, the likelihood is somebody else's hurting just as much as me. Or whilst I am hurt, the other parties are unaware of it unless I tell them. So I can tell them about it and share, and also know all they are capable of understanding is that it is not their fault, and so ignore me and my hurt. This is okay with me, letting go of people who hurt others and ourselves, opens the door to good people and good experiences. Live and let live, let go and let happiness prevail…



Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 28 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 27 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 27 2013: step six in mind… "Yesterday as the song goes… my troubles were not so far away. The opportunity to become the old me, to rail against the world as being unfair and unjust. To be truthful, the world is truly neutral, an equal opportunities world where life is good, bad and ugly as it turns out. It is our reaction to adversity and challenge which is important. If we are to let go the bad and the ugly, and get back to the good, we can find the truth of now. Even when others do not wish it to be truth, and would deny the truth, we are not here to change their outlook, we are here to make the best of our own outlook. If we do not get on with people and do not like them, I have learned the courtesy of letting them get on with their lives. And I get on with my life…"

Another handyman came to my residence at the behest of my landlord. Ignoring the instructions sent with regard to rodent proofing my abode, he suggested what seemed an even better solution. And in the process, it became clear that my abode has had an open door policy to rodents for years. Hopefully, the handyman has been able to block up the rodent motorway to my kitchen cupboards, the WC and the bathroom. Notwithstanding that there are bloody great holes all over the place in the kitchen, hopefully, the main motorway for rodents has been blocked…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 27 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 26 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 26 2013: step six in mind… "All about growing up… Somehow we got bent out of shape by events and nurturing. And then to top it off, a desire to obliterate reality and live in a world of dreams which then became nightmares. I was a happy drunk at the beginning because it meant I did not have to face up to reality. Very often: H. A. L. T. haunted me, but I really didn't know what it meant to be hungry, angry, lonely and tired, because I used alcohol as my personal friend and medication…"

What is it like to be in this new world of reality? It did feel very daunting and frightening because I couldn't shut it out. And today, living reality? I would not want it any other way, I need to learn my feelings every day as they occur, so I can understand how to live real life on life's terms. Emotional maturity does not take the sting out of the bad and ugly, it does make the good, really good today…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 26 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 25 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 25 2013: step six in mind… "Acceptance is the key: giving up the need and desire to drink. This gave me a freedom I never experienced before, the freedom to be me. I realised I could go back to the start, I did not have to fear anything. And I did not need pride, or ego to bolster up a fragile personality. I did not need to fit in and distort myself in order to feel right about life. I learned how to say yes to what is good for me and no emphatically to things which are bad, and hurt my progress and wisdom." Getting our freedom back to make the choices which are right, is profoundly liberating. And yet we still live in a world which renders many powerless and without recourse. We do not need to be chained up again, we can have our own quiet revolution and then evolution going on, one day at a time…

It took me many years of striving to realise that although I had the right skills and the right qualities, which worked in various careers, the rich career choices were made based on want and desire, aspiring with fear inside? Actually, the only fear over the years was making sure that there was plenty of alcohol in the cupboard, partying, always an option, rewards for doing well and no sense of personal direction or finding out how to love, be loved back and enjoy endeavours which might have been right for me. The world economy, the local economy and always driven to celebrate the next success in the material world. The material world is of course part of the spiritual world of now. And as I acquired it back in the day, it was just another item ticked off the list of things to do… These days I am not afraid to love, I'm not afraid to be loved back and whenever I find something useful to do, and endeavour which is right for me, I can try, I can be challenged and sometimes it works out. And sometimes it does not. Happy in my progress just for today…

Some things which came to mind over the past days, people outside of fellowship around my age have experienced equally tough times, sought help and often have ended up self-medicating with the most available drug. Profound sadness underpinning profound disappointments and loneliness. When we were young, with energy, which never seemed to burn out, and then decades later, many bruised by life and unable to climb out of despair. This is where I recognise why unity service and recovery as broad principles in fellowship make the difference. If we cannot change our outlook, no amount of professional medical or other forms of intervention are likely to undo decades of living. Invested in past glory and loss, so hard to change on one's own. No amount of thinking ability, no amount of cognitive understanding will mean anything unless attitude and behaviour change. Certainly, acceptance is the key to develop courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and just enough confidence and support. So we can and do let go the old ways and rebuild who we are one day at a time…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 25 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 24 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 24 2013: step six in mind… "It is inevitable that people will make assumptions about us, our outlook and judge what we do. People will let us down because they can, and they don't even know they have let us down because of their fixed outlook and inability to see the big picture of what they do. Whatever happens, it is important that we can forgive the mistakes, the assumptions and expectations others have about us as people, or we will be driven mad trying to set the record straight!"

According to my family, the delivery of a hamper by some contractors as an offer of compensation for their poor craftsmanship and inappropriate behaviour is insulting to me as a human being. I don't know the motives behind being given some dried goods, and tinned processed goods which are in the main inappropriate for me as a type I diabetic. If I lived in the diet of food given to me as a matter of routine, I would develop numerous complications and my life would be shortened as a result… Not very good.

Knowing what I can do and what I cannot do and the difference between the two is of primary importance. Any time of day there will be challenges to our own outlooks, our own attitudes and our own behaviour. Thank goodness I have some timeless principles which are about living to the truth, being open, honest and willing, and trying my utmost to be willing and behave with integrity. When things go wrong, we can accept what has happened. And at the same time point out the consequences. The consequences of some actions by others need be challenged when matters are important and not only affect me, they effect others too. We all have a right to be heard and challenged and this can be done. Letting go the old notions and righteousness is really helpful, because sometimes, and quite often in my experience, people will not be able to accept my view or the views of others, because it is too painful and it does not fit with the reality they see today… Let go, forgive and move on and enjoy the reality of today…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 24 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 23 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 23 2013: step six in mind… "Assertive: how am I feeling? Why? What can I do? Empathy: how are we feeling? Why? What can we do?" I am so grateful that many years ago it was explained to me how to be assertive, and how to have empathy. Assertive: knowing my part in matters. Empathy: knowing how we all feel or least another person feels in the moment of now. Sometimes when we are in conflict with others and their ideas, being assertive is good, being aggressive, will get me nowhere. Just because I am right, about something I know and live, it does not mean you will agree with me. And indeed I need to be sure that I do not tread on the toes of others, or they will retaliate in a way which will lead to very difficult attitudes and actions…

Conflict is difficult. Empathy is difficult. And yet we get nowhere if we cannot find common ground with our fellows, family and community. Diverse conditions apply, and if we are lucky we welcome diversity without prejudice? Indeed, our near family and ancestors are full of prejudice. The good fortune for me today: freedom to be me, and freedom to welcome diversity and truth. Open-mindedness is key to survival, courage to change, faith in doing the right thing and enough self-esteem to challenge and at the same time make sure I check out what I'm doing with people I know who have integrity today…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 23 2013

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 6, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | June 22 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 22 2013: step six in mind… "When I was finally diagnosed type I diabetes, I found out why and how I managed to get it at the age of fifty. My dentist told me it was better to remove a tooth, rather than try repair it. As a consequence I got an infection and then a virus after the tooth extraction. The virus apparently was the cause of the type I diabetes, according to my diabetes consultant, a one and 1 million chance… Acceptance was the key!" Mind you, my general practitioner thought my symptoms were fanciful and a consequence of only being three years sober. I had become diabetic for over a year before I was diagnosed as a result of this… Meanwhile… If you're feeling unwell, and you have symptoms, persist until you get a proper diagnosis, because everyone, including professionals can be wrong!

Step six can help us deal with our own defects of character, ego, pride and fear being the primary culprits. And of course we need to be aware of the defects of others, that they have their own problems and prejudices. And in this regard, it is always a good idea to talk to somebody sensible and see whether or not we are leading ourselves on because others do not know their backside from their elbows… Oh and by the way, my dentist was very sorry and I accepted his apology, it was one of those things that happens…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 22 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 21 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 21 2013: step six in mind… "The landlord's surveyor is coming! An inspection of recent works, which are still incomplete… Yet more misinformation has been promulgated (manufactured half truths) which could have been used to undermine my concerns. Fortunately, I keep records and emails, especially from those who would bend the truth to their belief and opinions." And now what to do? Be angry and resentful? Be tolerant and loving? Thank God for web cams and voice recorders…

In the world of London UK, the UK government is urging transparency in all matters, except of course when it interferes with the national interest, which is quite understandable. However, when it comes to reputation of many people, under the guise of the national interest, an awful lot of personal accountability is covered up. It is not what they do which I ought to concentrate upon. It is me and my actions and sticking to the truth without anger and resentment. Facts are facts, and if I don't have anything to hide. I have nothing to fear but fear itself…

Anger and resentment: and with step six, pride, fear and ego rising will not help me today. Tolerance and love: and with step seven, courage to change, faith in doing the right thing and confidence that the truth is enough. When it is expressed, the truth without prejudice, and with a tolerant and learning attitude, progress can be made. I make progress, with regard to anyone else, that is their journey, even when it causes me problems. I cannot change them, I can change me and my attitudes and learn, let go with love and affection…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 21 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 20 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 20 2013: step six in mind… "In meetings of the fellowship, we listen to somebody share their experience strength and hope and then share back. We also hear other people share and other people often say something very useful, or something we find quite impossible to fathom. Behaviour in meetings! We may be talking to somebody and then suddenly another person jumps in to talk to us or the other person. Anywhere else but a fellowship meeting, it would seem rude and inappropriate. In meetings at the end of them, the enthusiasm to connect or disconnect can override politeness and discretion." Sometimes it may seem rude and inappropriate to be accosted, most times it is necessary for someone to just get their words out and share their happiness or pain. In early days of interrupted conversations, often people have murderous anger brewing. As our temperament becomes softer and more tolerant, the murderous nature of early days, becomes more loving and there is acceptance that people are the way they are today…

Of course there are those who come with a prepared solution to something we have shared. And sometimes the murderous anger can remain for quite a while, because the solution delivered by the "solution basher" may be good for them, and completely useless to anyone else in the world. I do feel there is reward in learning about step ten, well in advance of completing all the other steps, or there would be a large influx into many penal colonies around the world today…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 20 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 19 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 19 2013: step six in mind… "Contingent on the conditions of the day, and what everybody else is doing, asking for help is a very good idea when things are going well, and support would be appreciated, and also when things seem to be going wrong and support may become a necessity." Soldiering on and putting on a brave face, covering up fear, pride and ego can make for a very sad state of affairs. At the same time, reliance on one form of support or one person is not necessarily the right way forward. We all need plenty of phone numbers, plenty of contact, because you can guarantee that one person or another is not likely to be there, just because we need them…

Yes, fellowship is all about open honest and willing, helping each other in unity, service and recovery. And in emotional and spiritual terms, we all do the best we can with what we know today. Sometimes in fellowship, we may over rely on one or two people or the other way round. And then we find ourselves in a bit of a bind with unity service and recovery. Do I take advantage? Do others take advantage? It depends on the conditions on the day: sometimes we are able to be there and very happy that we do help as best we can. And sometimes we are tired out and unable and quite disabled ourselves. Two unhappy campers sharing their problems is not a good idea in the long run. Find happier campers with a groundsheet and a solidly made tent to weather the emotional and spiritual storms that we all encounter. And sometimes all at the same time on the same day in the moment of now, we find ourselves in happy and unhappy company and the emotional and spiritual raindrops are falling on our heads...

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 19 and 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 18 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 18 2013: step six in mind… "H. A. L. T: anyone anywhere can be hungry, angry, lonely and or tired. Anyone! Not just me." By the time I understood what step six was about, quite a lot of inward looking, and if it had not been for fellowship, I could have been very self-absorbed. In group meetings, of which there are 700 here in London, the principles of listening and looking for similarities sharpened my ability to understand it is not just me. I need to be aware of how everyone is doing because everyone impacts and plays their part in life. Today, when I ask somebody how they are feeling, it is not me introducing myself, it is me listening to you to support, to learn and to be part of the moment of now…

Having said that, I was expecting a carpenter to come and block up the mouse holes. The appointment was for up to 4 hours. After three hours of waiting and not feeling so good, I emailed the admin office and said he was a no-show. I made it clear that after four hours, I would not be available. And so I felt justified in postponing. Feeling ill, not such a good place to be. At the same time I was courteous and actually had no anger or resentment. When appointments are made, and not kept these days, I always have something to do…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 18 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 17 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 17 2013: step six in mind… Page 108 step twelve little blue book hardback twelve and twelve: "and then, in step seven, we humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings, such as he could or would under the conditions of the day we asked." Shortcomings in my case, under the conditions of the day: lack of courage to change, lack of faith in doing the next right thing and lack of confidence. Step six: where fear, pride and ego can emerge on any given day can undermine my courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and confidence to have a go at something new, and be happy to be challenged…

Progress not perfection! Every day is a learning day, and providing I am meeting the expectations of the world around me in some way. And still having room for growth, room to be a part of life and keep exploring helps me find a path and journey without any particular destination. Sometimes we need goals and objectives, sometimes we need time to develop our ability to see the world as it is and how we fit before we start to change. In early days of recovery, I needed every ounce of help given, without conditions, to help me emerge and start being human again… No judgements, no telling me what to do, just the opportunity to be alive and make sense that it was okay to be me, and start again… And I needed to start from scratch without expectation or resentments under construction…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 17 2013

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 6, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | June 16 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 16 2013: step six in mind… "Life can be: good, bad and ugly. How we react and respond to the good, bad and ugly, becomes a choice when we understand what is going on in the moment of now." Step six: fear, pride and ego, and everything that goes with it can emerge, or we can keep in mind, courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and confidence growing which is step seven. Step seven, enables anyone to understand that it is okay not to know the answers, to go with the moment and reality rather than trying to deny the truth.

Every Saturday there is a meeting where we concentrate on the spiritual experience. Whether we have a blinding eye opening moment. A bit of an oxymoron, saying that, "a blinding eye opening moment!" Or we have an educational spiritual experience, I am hoping that the result is the same: "living in the moment, feelings equal to the experience we are having. And being able to cope with what is going on." If we have never been enlightened by the moment of now, it can be a blinding eye opening moment, or if we are continuing an ongoing spiritual experience? It is the education and the experience of life, by living in the moment of now. It could be a step six moment, it could be a step seven moment, hopefully the experience is now…

Every feeling has its place in our experience. I can be angry and resentful, in the moment and it can evoke great extremes from past experience. The gift of recovery is I know what is going on inside me. And I know hanging onto angry, resentful feelings is not going to be good. I need to be able to express my feelings appropriately and recognise that past experiences can ruin the present moment. Happy, sad, joyful, hateful, loving and every feeling in the moment is likely to be the truth of our current experience. There is no point in denying the truth, indeed being able to express the truth of now is key. If we cannot express the truth right now, we are probably missing the point and perpetuating our old outlook. Expression, sharing these experiences and the feedback we can receive gives us a better perspective. It can be very uncomfortable to hear the truth, at the same time if we cannot experience the bad and ugly, we will never recognise the good that comes from it, even when it may be hurtful and bruising and downright difficult to be vulnerable, until we realise vulnerability, very often is the essence and sharp edge of learning...

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 16 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 15 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 15 2013: step six in mind… "Progress not perfection…" Perfectly imperfect in the ever present moment of now. We respond and react to the world around us. How I feel about what is going on depends upon my attitude and outlook. Hungry, angry, lonely and or tired? Well fed, happy, included and refreshed? Or somewhere in between most days is where I reside. I am aware that pride, ego and fear can rise up as a reaction, open honest and willing is likely to be the best response to the good, bad and ugly today…

The serenity prayer is part of my daily routine and daily life. When I remember my morning mantra: step one, powerless over everything and not trying to control anything, or life will get unmanageable. Step two, thinking I need to control something and doing the same thing over and over again without a change in the results. Step three, let go my way and get on the highway of life and aim to be open, honest and willing to embrace everything. Remind myself what I can do with freedom of choice and what I cannot do, and the wisdom to know the difference. Speak for myself and never assume that my way is better than yours… Can change me, not here to change you, and thankful for another day above ground…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 15 2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 14 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 14 2013: step six in mind… "Open, honest and willing to work on my faults?" This is not doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Open, honest and willing to change our attitude and our behaviour. And we can with willingness being key, and humility of equal strength. Humility to keep making mistakes, not the same mistakes, new mistakes every single day. And so we learn the skill of living and growing, with freedom to choose our direction.

Yes but no but yes! Freedom to choose my direction, but what if I don't know where I'm going, what if I don't know who I am, what if I'm up a gum tree without a paddle? Take it easy, is my suggestion, freedom to choose is not battling, it is the freedom to learn what is good for me as each day unfolds. It really is the journey and not the destination which counts. Am I hungry, angry, lonely or and tired this morning? I do feel a bit lonely, so I will feel better for a meeting sooner rather than later today…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 14 2013

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 6, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | June 13 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 13 2013: step six in mind… "The beginning of a lifetime job!" Of course, it is a lifetime job: finding balance when it is easy to go to extremes. We knew where a drink would lead us in the past. From having, "just the one to being the last man or woman standing…" And waking up in strange places. We can find balance in exciting times. Living reality in the raw and relishing every feeling because they are real. Every feeling means every feeling, no more doubting what our feelings are telling our thinking heads…

Knowing our feelings in the moment of now, when they are in balance and when they are at extremes. We do not control feelings as they emerge, we can quell them for a while if we need to, and yet they will emerge. These feelings good, bad and ugly are a part of who we are and our reaction to our circumstances. We feel it and then we think about it. We can deny our feelings when we cannot cope with the reality of what is going on. Feelings are always there, because without them we would not exist as humans…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 13 2013

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 6, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | June 12 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 12 2013: step six in mind… "This, I cannot do today?" Where are those pesky defects? This morning I feel quite happy that I can do some things quite well, progress and not perfect. In fact I don't want to be perfect, I don't want to be the best at one thing only because the more specialised I get, the less I am likely to see the big picture of life. Open to the world and the possibilities by listening to the experience, strength and hope of others. Realising that everyone who gets good at something has put the effort in to get there. I appreciate the effort that many make in specialised areas, and it helps me immensely on my journey.

The mouse man has been made a report about my mice who have been munching away on the bait put down for them. He has reported all the holes which are "mouse motorways." And a Carpenter will come next week to try contain them, "he he he," squeaked Mister mouse, as he reported back to his mouse colleagues that the Carpenter had "no fucking chance," "there are more holes than there are carpenters and we are very small and yet significant creatures with will and determination to get in, where we like…" I feel Mister mouse is right and it must be a "never-ending story" of acceptance for me… I'm still happy today regardless…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 12 2013

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 6, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | June 11 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 11 2013: step six in mind… "Where has my anger and resentment gone?" I've been making a website for a friend and wanted to include a slideshow of their work. Trying to build a website which will work both on Apple: iPad and iPhone, android, and all the different web browsers is very challenging when big companies won't agree on very basic coding practices. I suppose I could have got angry, instead, I spent hours finding a way. And I did! It may have taken some time, and I could have been completely frustrated, thank God for the Internet and people sharing how to do things these days…

And as a respite from my web coding problems, I was watching a political TV programme called: "the daily politics" and was listening to, two Conservative ideologues versus an Economist with all the facts and figures, I could see the stark contrast between the current conservative economic ideology and the sensibility of the Economist. The Economist was swamped by two people with an agenda of austerity, verging on the criminal, and actually a very cruel agenda. And, I realise I was lucky in many respects, to get sober years back, because today the road to sobriety, I fear it is harder than ever before because society is losing a desire to help people whose welfare is at rock bottom… Apart from that it was a fantastic day, I slept for seven hours in a row. And I cannot remember when this last happened… Can do, cannot do and the wisdom to know the difference? I want the hand of AA always to be there and for that I'm responsible, I am also responsible to help people. When I can I will. And when I cannot, I will look for help, because a lot of people do believe in helping others…



Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 11 2013

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 6, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | June 10 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 10 2013: step six in mind… "Chatting with my sister, she and my mother had a barbecue over the weekend. Neither drinks much alcohol these days, and the small amount of wine they had gave them a hangover and an agreement to have a teetotal week." I was amused about the idea of a hangover, I was hung over for about thirty-five years." Normal people: if something gives them a headache, they stop. I on the other hand, would have "a hair of the dog at the weekend" and at the end, there was no end to drink. Step six defects: ego and pride soldiering on beyond hangovers into long term hung over, affecting life and everything. Step seven. These days: sober one day at a time, courage, faith and confidence to greet each day and live it, with no need or even thought about drink? I am hopeful, one day at a time…

Any day we can be driven into anger and resentment about the world and global issues, local and home and personal issues. Step six, where fear, pride and ego could drive us bonkers, or step seven: courage to change our approach, faith in doing the next right thing and being fair about what has happened and confidence to look at the big picture and see the world as it is, rather than the expectation and the resentments that are truly under construction at any time… Setting my expectations to zero each morning, a better chance of good opportunities prevails today…



Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 10 2013

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 6, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | June 9 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 9 2013: step six in mind… "Fellows in fellowship to change!" I used to hear a particular person, refer to themselves as a real alcoholic like those in the big book. And there were many people coming to fellowship who weren't real alcoholics like in the big book." It used to make me wonder if I was a real alcoholic because I was not like them? Not really. But I could have felt anger and resentful if I had not remembered why we came to fellowship, a desire to stop drinking…

If I judge you, I am likely to evoke step six defects: extremes of pride, ego and fear coming into play. How dare you judge me as a lesser alcoholic, I certainly drank more than you did, you bastard! Or if I am feeling happy and balanced having being judged a lesser alcoholic, with step seven: enough courage, faith and confidence to be the alcoholic I am, I don't mind what you think of me, its none of my business… The good news, the "real alcoholic," is now a Buddhist, and whilst I am not a Buddhist, he does not judge me anymore…



Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 9

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 8 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 8 2013: step six in mind… "What is a consultant? A person who you can ask for help and you pay them. What is a guru? I have difficulty with Gurus, and I know I am not one. What is a teacher? Someone who educates with particular subjects and pupils in mind. I am not a teacher. How many hats can one person have in their cupboard? Family member, worker, community member, fellowship member… We are all equal, and sometimes just because somebody has found a particular way to live does not mean it is the right way for us or anyone else. If we are fortunate, our human condition, which is emotional being, with intelligence, more often, the ability to understand what is going on right now, and have common sense and gumption learned by living life…"



Who am I today? My name is Don: on an emotional and spiritual journey, just like you. By the end of today, I may know something new about myself and you and the world. With an open honest and willing approach, open to what is going on in the world, I will learn more than if I were closed, stuck in my own head. I hope I can be open, honest and willing today and able to look out and see creation in action…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 8

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 7 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 7 2013: step six in mind… "Don't tell me what to do, I already know what to do! I know I can be unhelpful if I try proselytise: tell you what to do because I know better. With regard to anything, I only know what is working for me. It is a harsh lesson when people tell us to go fuck ourselves when we were only trying to be helpful…" The road to hell is paved with good intent and sometimes our good intent is based on hearsay, rhetoric and the last person we talk to who had a solution.

Learning how to be sober is a very personal journey: emotional, learning our feelings and actually feeling them as they are happening, and based on our current situation. Spiritual: living in the moment, experiencing our feelings and thinking as they happen and being able to learn and grow as our life experience is happening right now. So why on earth do we have a gratitude list, and step ten? Because sometimes, or in my case very often, my feelings, lag behind events happening and my thinking is not as quick as maybe I would wish it to be. Spiritual: learning how to love, and be loved back in the moment of now is quite difficult when we are learning every day, especially when we are over thinking and proselytising without even realising it…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 7

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 6 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 6 2013: step six in mind… "The gift of desperation in my early days, helped me to accept that I did not know the answer to my problems, and I did not know how to live life in any meaningful way anymore. I accepted and said out loud that I could not do this any more, that being my own self destruction through addiction to alcohol. Step six: pride, ego and fear. And the desire to be someone or something based on ego and pride can be a very undermining form of motivation. Ego and pride elevates a person and is about preserving their dignity, which has no foundation. Very often it is easy to fall into thinking that we are right, and we might have found the right answer for ourselves, it does not mean it is the answer for anyone else… Humility is key to living in the moment of now and being open to learn…"

I was very gratified in my early days when people used to say: "I don't speak for AA, I speak about my recovery and speak for myself." And I was relieved when I heard that, because I was listening to a person sharing their experience strength and hope, and they did not judge or imply that their recovery was going to be the right path for me to adopt and try practice. Today, I learn what I can and cannot do, the answers as I go along and the wisdom to know the difference is often a conversation that needs to happen in the moment of now…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 6

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 5 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 5 2013: step six in mind… "Neighbour's dog barking in the early hours, having been let out and the owner has fallen asleep…" Let barking dogs lie? It's not the first time the dog has been barking. I have a live and let live policy with the dog and my neighbour. Then a policeman arrives on the doorstep asking if I know the neighbour… How much to tell them about what I know? I keep it simple and only suggest that the neighbour sleeps very heavily and has a bad leg…

I looked down stairs into my neighbour's garden, five policeman and a woofing dog, and they asked me if I knew the layout of the apartment below. And I do. Step six: anger and resentment at the dog and the owner would have made me call the police. Step seven: I did not call the police, but they turned up anyway. I was hopeful that the owner would wake up of their own accord. But as it happens other neighbours are not tolerant and don't like my neighbour. Love thy neighbour? Not very lovable. But I don't need to make matters worse than they are already… There will be a ruckus at some point, as my neighbour gets angry at the intrusion and the feelings which follow… Easy does it, tolerance is the right way for me and I will keep my cauldron of oil off the stove today… But I did have to complain to the landlord about the mice, they don't woof, that they do affect my serenity…



Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 5

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 4 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 4 2013: step six in mind… "Elephants and mice!" And the elephant is me and my attitude, and what behaviour could follow. I would like to make the elephant my landlord who has failed miserably to eradicate the mice problem. In my abode, holes in the walls and the cupboards have been blocked. And yet the mouse! Running from room to room, the little blighter has no idea about my elephant thoughts…

Submission, about my defects of character: pride and indignation? As I saw the mouse roaming around, in the early hours of the morning, after the initial shock of the pestilence, calm and serenity came quickly. It is not the fault of the mouse and is not the fault of the landlord? Not really, all they can do is send round the mouse man. As I am the elephant in the room, the indignation was short lived and acceptance that the mice can trip me up any time and anywhere. It is not the size of the problem I encounter, all I need is to work out what I can and cannot do and do my part, then hand it over, in this case to the mouse man without screaming from the roof, "how dare it happen to me yet again…"



Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 3

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 3 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 3 2013: step six in mind… "Extreme feelings in extreme circumstances can produce old fears, pride and ego." "Kicking off with a self-righteous attitude…" We will be put in extreme circumstances from time to time, where our feelings rise and either the best of our attitudes and behaviour help us to stand with courage, faith and confidence, or the worst of our attitudes are expressed in the anger and frustration at what is happening…

Bad things happen to good people, and when things are bad and ugly, we can be pushed into anger and resentment. Even the best person, with the best outlook can be enraged by what goes on in the world. How we deal with matters? Denial, anger and resentment, frustration, and how often do we get to a place of acceptance of what we can and cannot do, learning the wisdom to know the difference? It can take me quite a while to be restored to balance and sanity…



Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 3

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 2 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 2 2013: step six in mind… "How am I feeling this morning? Balanced, healthy, rational, reasonable, sane, sound, well?" If I am feeling balanced and okay, I am probably more likely to have a step seven type of day: I might have the courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and enough confidence to make mistakes and learn from them. With an open, honest and willing outlook to my surprise endeavours today will be wonderful...

If I encounter trouble along the way in my happy frame of mind, I might be knocked into my defects of character by the attitudes and behaviour of other people and be the opposite of a rational and sane individual. Pride and ego with a dose of fear can make even the most happy person psychotic in the blink of an eye. A bit like Jekyll & Hyde, step six defects are just an arms length away, even though I may be sober, the might be a psychotic outbreak in any moment of now… He he he…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 2

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Alcoholics Anonymous | June 1 | DonInLondon | Step 6 "Let Go"

June 1 2013: step six in mind… " step six. The psychic change Separating the men from the boys, women from the girls?" What is the psychic change? And is it a practical change? Is it a spiritual psychic experience? Now this depends on your belief system and your opinions. I do believe that step six is the beginning of a psychic change, which is practical and it is spiritual for me. I have come to believe that spiritual is simply the ability to live in the moment of now, accepting the truth of now, the love that we have for others and the love that we receive from others and everything improves our wisdom of now...

Step six, removal of defects. By asking and knowing what our defects of character are. Defects of character: extremes of behaviour which are good, bad and ugly. Extreme fear, extreme pride, extreme ego. And what might seem contentious sometimes: extreme courage, extreme faith and extreme confidence without foundation in truth, love and wisdom. In other words, bullshit territory! Expectations and resentments under construction, secrets, keeping us stuck, fear, pride and ego rising at any time we feel less than others… Step seven is the antidote to step six and that is the practical change in outlook towards: courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing, and enough confidence to have a go at whatever endeavour you find interesting and useful to you…

Step six: fear, pride and ego getting in the way of step seven: courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing, and confidence to have a go, make mistakes and keep on learning with an open honest and willing attitude… We can be at sixes and sevens in life!h of now…



Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Six Collection" June 1

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 6, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | May 31 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 31 2013: step five in mind… "My higher power is truth, love and wisdom…" Having being around on the planet for quite a while, I keep on learning more about the truth, love and wisdom which develops and changes every day. And still I have opinions and beliefs which had been with me all my life, and sometimes my beliefs and opinions are quite wrong, because I don't have all the facts, I don't have all the feelings and I don't want to change my mind? I am more open these days, trying to be honest and willing to change…

Step five is about sharing the truth of what happened to me over the years. And why I became an alcoholic and why oh why did it take me so long to realise that the only way to get to the truth is, with a clear head and not one full of alcohol which kept me stuck in the mud, stuck in old ideas, old feelings and emotions, denying plausibly everything that happened which was bad and ugly. Alcohol made me feel good, even though life was bad and ugly, and many just became ugly and much uglier than the sober truth of now…



Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 31

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 30 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 30 2013: step five in mind… "Proselytising! What on earth is this? When we are in meetings of fellowship and we hear the experience, strength and hope of other people, they are sharing their truth as they see it, and hopefully they are being open, honest and willing in their outlook and in their attitudes and behaviour. When we hear somebody banging on about the big book, the twelve and twelve, that they are real alcoholics like in the big book and all you need to do is follow our path thoroughly, you might raise an eyebrow as you listen to their opinions and their beliefs…

Everybody can proselytise: sharing beliefs and opinions as absolute truth. Proselytising is about imposing our own view, whether it be religious, political, practical, any combination of belief and opinion, which has come to be your truth. Of course we don't proselytise do we? Of course we do because we want the world to be the way we believe it to be. And where is the harm in this? It starts wars, and it makes others argumentative, angry and resentful at others imposing their outlook on us. Just like I do every day, and even though I might try not to proselytise, I will, because I only know the truth I have found out so far, and you may have more truth, you may have more wisdom, and you may have more experience of life than me around many things I have yet to encounter…



Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 30

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