May 7 2013: step five in mind… "Have I told any lies today? No, but it's early in the day…" As I have hardly said a word this morning, I don't think I have lied to anyone. But what about the lies might have told myself? When I woke up, very early in the morning, and stood up to go put the kettle on, there was no pain when I walked. I expected there to be pain because that is how it is for me. I had an expectation, and it was not met. I felt happy to be painless, that the pain free feeling was there was unusual… But it is back now!
I am laughing at the moment, even my head will argue with itself from the moment I wake up, to the moment I go to sleep. In my early days of recovery, respite from having to lie about drinking and just not drink for a day felt like an ordeal. Do I feel like sobriety is an ordeal today? I don't, life is good even though more things seem to be wrong with me, alcohol is not one of them. I wouldn't be alive to have complications and chronic diseases pile in. If I weren't sober, I would not have learned how to cope with disability, nor would I have learned how to love people without conditions and find love back without conditions. And every day is useful in endeavour of one sort or another… Especially when I can get out to take photographs…
Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 7
Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,