Alcoholics Anonymous | May 29 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 29 2013: step five in mind… "Ego deflation!" For a few weeks, I have had to endure incompetence and stupidity, lying and then a scramble things right by my landlord. I can say without doubt that I found myself angry and resentful on a few occasions. Indeed my ego reflated on those occasions, and I felt that I was being treated unfairly. Indeed I was treated unfairly, and realised I was not the only one. We will meet practitioners of the selective truth, "lying bastards," very often in life. Most of the time I am happy to report that the serenity prayer helps me immensely in ego deflation. And yet there are occasions where our natural instincts become extreme. Pause and reflection kept me out of the darkest of intentions…

Certainly, and most of the time, courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and the confidence to be firm and resolute keep me on track on a daily basis. And there will be times when I need back off and pull back from the brink, or my ego will spoil my day. Self-esteem builds our understanding of how to behave, and be positive in our attitudes. And when things aren't working out, I need simply remind myself with the serenity prayer of what I can do and what I cannot do today…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 29

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 28 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 28 2013: step five in mind… "Progress not perfect!" We were born perfectly imperfect… And then the world happened! And we have history, which creates the way we are in our attitudes and our behaviour. Step four is looking into the past and finding out what happened, so we can find a way forward. When we share the truth of who we are we cannot change the past and as is said somewhere, "we don't wish to shut the door on it," our life story is our own written or remembered self-help book/memories. We share, the good the bad and the ugly, and through expression we find relief…

Bank holiday Monday was fabulous. Phoning friends and family, practising some reflexology and providing a happy state of mind for my best friend. Then out to see friends, and whilst out, bumping into friends in fellowship and having a happy conversation. An ice cream, and six minutes on a sunbed because the weather has been awful these last few weeks… Just a little of what you fancy does you good? Just about, except for the obvious. In my case, as I stay sober one day at a time…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 28

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 27 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 27 2013: step five in mind… "I thought I could tell the truth and share everything by the time I got to step five. And the more I thought about it, the more conniving and calculating my thoughts became. I felt constrained by how much I wished to share, and even today, years later, being wary of sharing the truth is a consideration. And when I am wary, this is when I need to check out with another human being who may be more objective, and get back to the truth as quickly as possible because it does set me free…

It did require courage to share the truth in step five, faith that whatever I shared had been heard and done since the dawn of man and accept that I could change and become a more complete human being with all my emotions and faculties working in the moment of now… Most days. And just one day at a time… Today…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 27

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 26 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 26 2013: step five in mind… "Alcoholism. This is a disease, physically not being able to stop drinking and self harming. And not only was I physically addicted to alcohol, I could not move forward emotionally and I could not cope with reality." After ninety days, indeed before the ninety days was up, I did not need alcohol in my system to function. The emotional pain was still deep and cutting, and the spiritual angle: "living and coping with reality," was still extraordinarily difficult. Coping with feelings in the moment of now! Step two, seemed out of sight, and yet sanity was being restored, even though I could not see it. The constant sharing, opening the door, listening and speaking and hearing the experience, strength and hope opened me up into what seemed a harsh cold reality…

I don't know which was worse at the time, the physical pain or the emotional pain. As the physical pain diminished, I knew the only way to release the emotional pain was to speak and let go all the secrets and fears, pride and ego needed to go or I was gone…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 26

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 25 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 25 2013: step five in mind… "From powerless and unmanageable: being restored to sanity, let go of what I cannot do, embrace what I can do…" And then a self-assessment, and then sharing the truth of what I found in my assets and liabilities. Sharing the truth, with another human being made me realise how easy it is to mistake opinion for the real truth. I let go my opinions and started looking at the truth of me as seen by another…

There is no shame in searching for the truth and learning by our mistakes. I don't know if it is natural to try and cover up and hide from what we have done? I do know that truth will set me free, and stop me hiding away and not learning how to live happily. One day at a time…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 25

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 24 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 24 2013: step five in mind… "Trusting in knowing what you can do and what you cannot do today… The wisdom to know the difference might take a little longer…" Fellowship taught me how to be self reliant and able to cope with the normal day-to-day. And what it showed every day was the benefit of being a part of something bigger than me, that I am interdependent on my fellows and when I trust others because they are trustworthy, I can trust. They will help me if they can. And if they can't, they probably know someone who will…

In the olden days, it was very difficult to trust anyone anywhere with anything. Somehow I had been taught to be selective with truth, not able to share my feelings openly, and to wear a brave face, so nobody knew what was going on inside me. I was not aware of my impact on others, I was more aware of their impact on me. I made my own life more difficult because I feared sharing the truth of my feelings, when feelings are the true guide to what makes me tick. Learning about feelings and what makes me tick, has been the greatest relief and the greatest eye-opener into the world of life in general and especially how emotional wisdom grows once we know what our emotions are one day at a time…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 24

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 23 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 23 2013: step five in mind… "Unity, service and recovery, open honest and willing…" These principles in fellowship are essential to the well-being of everybody. When it comes to fellowship, I need to say yes when I can, it makes a huge difference in my outlook. Sometimes, however, an emphatic no is better than a half-hearted yes! If I am half-hearted about doing something, I might pause long enough to find out why. When it comes to fellowship, if I feel half-hearted, I'm likely to say yes. When it comes to anything outside of fellowship, I can have the opportunity to say "no" and mean it...

If I am challenged when I say no and this will happen quite often, it is because I'm being asked to do something which I can do because of my skills and experience. I know in the world of now, the truth is, even though I have the skills to do things I might not feel like doing them because they take up my precious time and divert me from my own interests. Yes I can be a good Samaritan, yes I can be helpful when it comes to recovery. When I feel that I don't want to do something outside the fellowship, I am learning to say "no" more effectively. Not feeling like doing something is a choice. Any sane person makes the choice to say no, and now I have my sanity back, an emphatic no is really better than a half-hearted yes. And a half-hearted yes, will lead to to anger and resentment towards myself and then it spills outwards. If I am not in my right mind…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 23

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 22 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 22 2013: step five in mind… "Needs met wants forgotten…" "I want never gets…" I guess this is all about enough. Enough to fulfil our needs without being selfish and greedy, where the wants drive us bonkers. Step five, was an eye-opener, my whole outlook had been distorted by some of the virtues, driven to extremes. And the worst part was measuring my own worth by the amount of money I could earn. What an awful measure to place on anyone, I never did when it came to wealth. But somehow I had a double standard, career and money became very, very important when the rest of my life had crumbled away…

I became very lonely and unable to drown my sorrows, no amount of alcohol, no amount of money, no amount of relationships of a superficial and indifferent kind made any difference to the emptiness. Step five, made me realise that all the desperate attempts to fill the emptiness led me to rock bottom. And with a wry sense of the bizarre, without a fix, and in the cold light of day, rock bottom was a very harsh place. Sharing step four, helped to illuminate the hurt. And hurt people, hurt people…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 22

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 21 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 21 2013: step five in mind… "When I was a kid, I had to learn my twelve times table. And to this day, after those early attempts which were learning by rote, I know my twelve times table backwards and forwards." I can remember every day, learning the tables was just part of what we did. When it comes to learning my feelings, my feelings seem to change every day, and the responses I give. When people express their feelings to me, and I can express them back, there is and was a subtle change, or even a big change in my feelings and how deep they run. No wonder an incident from years ago, can be unhinging, no wonder it can take many attempts to find acceptance of life on life's terms, because it keeps on changing all the time!

Love at first sight can happen and it's wonderful. Love in hindsight can happen and it's awful. Love is in the air and its intoxicating. Love doesn't live here any more, and it's depressing! I don't mean that am not in love right at this moment I'm just saying what it's like, with love. And there is good news and bad news in all of this… Every other feeling is the same! Is it any wonder we used to drink? Not at all, but these days sharing about my feelings means that as big situations and big feelings happen, I have learned how to share them straight away even though it can take ages for my emotional state to find some balance just for a day…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 21

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 20 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 20 2013: step five in mind… Step five really helped me understand the difference between step six and step seven. Step six, will always be about being overwhelmed by fear, putting on a brave face to hide my feelings and ego or pride, getting in the way, and spoiling my outlook. Step seven, my shortcomings: lack of courage, lack of faith and lack of confidence… Again, it is always about my approach, my attitude of mind, and especially my mood and feelings. Step six, when I feel undermined, either by others or by history, can set me off into a downward spiral of anger and resentment which makes it difficult to see the truth of now. When I let go those old feelings and attitudes, there is room to have courage to change, faith in finding out the truth and possible, and growing confidence in sharing what is going on so I can get help when I need it.

And today? I am not the only one, I can still have all the defects of character come out when others don't play fair. What I need to do is get help, don't sit on those feelings and let them fester, share the feelings and learn where I can get help from the right people at the right time. I don't know about you but I was always taught to be self sufficient, self sufficiency undermined my ability for a long while. To get to the real truth. I need perspective, and I need you. One day at a time…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 20

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 19 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 19 2013: step five in mind… "God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference…" Just because I know the truth today and have all the facts at my disposal, it does not mean I am right and you are wrong. You may see the truth of now differently to me and put forward facts which support your case. We both have head full of facts and yet we might shout at each other, angrily suggesting the you are, or I am lying…

Having just received answers in an email to genuine complaints, the facts sent to me are erroneous. I must admit that I have anger and resentment toward the person writing erroneous and misleading "facts" which bear no resemblance to the truth as I know it. What can I do? Can I change them and their outlook? Or should I let it go? Can do: "I can state my case, and provide photographic evidence." It will not get me anywhere except under the burden of anger and resentment, not only for today, but for another week or two? Is it worth it? Not for me, I shall hand it over to powers greater than me!


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 19

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | May 18 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 18 2013: step five in mind… "If we feel it, it is real!" If we feel love, its real love… If we feel hurt, it is real hurt… If we feel happy, happiness is real… And yet hold on a minute, what are you saying? That feelings are real? Oh no they're not! This is the debate that goes on all the time, we deny our feelings because we think we know better, that is our thinking mind wants to believe otherwise. And in the past when I ignored my feelings, and carried on regardless with relationships and work, hoping for the best, it all seemed to end in disappointment. I feared that I was right in the beginning, and just wished it wasn't so…

It is so important to take account of how we feel in any given situation. Feelings are real, and if they are shared, it is likely that the company we are in feel the same way. Or we find out that our feelings do not let us down, it is our wishes and dreams and expectations which are letting us down and not the people, the places, or the things…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 18

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 17 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 17 2013: step five in mind… "We try to live by these principles: open, honest and willing to tell the truth now…" The hard evidence of step four, shared and declared in step five, opens the floodgates to a new way of living. And yet… What about the rest of the world? We are going to be surprised by the honesty of some, and the dishonesty of others. Whether people are honest or dishonest, our principles, open honest and willing are a rule of thumb for ourselves and not necessarily to judge other people. We are imperfectly perfect, we can let ourselves down, we can let other people down because we just do. If we can be forgiving of ourselves, we need to be as forgiving of other people for their misdeeds, and the misunderstandings that happen in normal life… Forgive everyone everything, or that gnawing incident where we do not forgive, will always be there, haunting and taking away our peace of mind…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 17

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 16 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 16 2013: step five in mind… "I feel happy this morning… But a few things are still unfinished. With regard to recent repairs!" A few weeks of trials and tribulations trying to get my landlord to fix plumbing matters in my home. The landlord has been unresponsive and quite unhelpful and it has tested my patience, tolerance and love for those concerned. And I have been lied to, which is not good because it creates anger and resentment which will make me feel quite horrible. I still feel happy this morning, at the same time my plumbing still backs up, my washing machine kicks off the shower pump and the shower pump turns itself on when it feels like it, often in the middle of the night when I ought to be sleeping…

I cannot afford time trying to put right something outside my control. And although it would give me great satisfaction in the past, just because I know I am right, and people are behaving badly, I do not have to invest heavily in trying to get them to tell the truth. I need to live to the truth of now: powerless over people places and things. And this is why I am happy, I'm not here to solve the world of plumbing, I am here to be happy and find happiness with the right people in the right places doing the right things…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 16

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | May 15 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 15 2013: step five in mind… "Sharing the truth of now: how am I feeling? Why? And what can I do?" My own truth is now and I can understand what I can do and what I cannot do on a daily basis. And then the truth changes as I interact with other people. The truth of my feelings change or my mood changes depending on what is going on, and the immediacy of change can be lost in thinking too hard, thinking the answer and having expectations based on history. Whether we like it or not, everything is changing in the moment of now, we are getting older by the moment, it does not mean we are getting wiser, it could be that we are stuck somewhere. And we don't know what to do…

Sometimes and often many times, step five is opening that great big door of opportunity. Life works better in company and being part of something. Life is not about finding the answers and producing an outcome to impose on others. It is more about listening to the possibilities that are open to us by taking on board new information and respecting the opinions we may seek. Always life is better when we interact and find a way to share, sharing the problem and sharing in the solutions made possible, working together with other people in our lives…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 15

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | May 14 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 14 2013: step five in mind… Confession is an ancient practice. And sharing my step four with my sponsor at the time might have been difficult when it came to the part about God. My sponsor was an atheist and well practised in legal matters. And he was also outside the fellowship. And quite a few of my friends back then were completely outside fellowship and part of recovery groups which did not have any opinion about Alcoholics Anonymous. One of my best friends at the time when I was doing my step five, had been almost two years sober and would not attend AA meetings. On one or two occasions we had got to the doors of the meeting and they would not go in with me. Just before their two-year anniversary sober, they relapsed and the shock was so great that they died the second day of their drinking. I know why they wouldn't come to AA, and why they would not submit to the real truth of where they were with life. The last conversation we had, they were so tired and so lonely, the drink was a way out for them. They were tired of life and could see no future…

I was not angry or resentful at my friend, and my sponsor and I did talk this through at a time. It was a tragedy in so many ways, and then over the years there have been many occasions when I have heard the news of another person lost to addiction and alcoholism. Often, because of self-reliance and self determination, we can struggle alone and not realise that it is the many voices who share experience, strength and hope which will keep us sober and connected to the heartbeat of fellowship, one day at a time…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 14

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 13 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 13 2013: step five in mind… "Out of the dark and into the light?" Many friends in fellowship, have shared how wonderful it was to be unburdened by the old life. Just because I was finding it difficult to let go of my fear, ego and brave facing, it did not mean that other people were. Indeed, many people really blossomed as they let go the past and sharing with another human being. I was still quite fearful and did not want to let out the degradation that had happened to me. And other people found it even more difficult than I did, they had secrets which was so horrible, it took them quite a lot of time to understand that although they might be horrible experiences, there is redemption and forgiveness if we truly let go, and aim to be open, honest and willing one day at a time.

It needs to be one day at a time, this whole way of life, and having gone through step four and step five, step ten, where we can do a spotcheck inventory at any given time will help us keep on track today…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 12

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 12 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 12 2013: step five in mind… "Who could I tell my darkest, emotional and spiritual misgivings and not feel judged? I was judging myself so harshly at the time, I did not realise that if I had done anything, and there were words to describe it, it had been done many times before by many people. All my life I had tried to be open honest and willing, at the end of my drinking, I felt closed down, dishonest and unwilling." I was lucky to be able to share my step four, with a balanced, non-judgemental human, who talked about forgiveness and rebuilding a new life.

I was still crippled by fear, as I shared step five and the relief took time. Starting a new life, where I could fall back into step six and defects, where I could walk forwards into step seven and develop courage, faith and confidence, always just for a day…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 12

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | May 10 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 10 2013: step five in mind… "My name is Don and I am an alcoholic. For me this is the irrefutable truth of who I am." Now this is my truth! And I do not doubt it for one moment. "My name is Don and I am an alcoholic in recovery. And this is the truth today, I am an alcoholic in recovery." Other people will believe other things, and have their opinion, they will have their own truth which they believe. Other people may be able to describe me otherwise in different situations and they may be right, and that is the truth today…

Depending on how I am feeling: hungry, angry, lonely and or tired, H. A. L. T. There will be times when I am most emphatically different and see the truth with different feelings. Step five is all about the truth. And the truth will be affected by my emotional state and what I believe in any given moment. Today and for every day, I hope I don't forget recovery and all it means to me: that I can keep on seeing the truth of now as clearly as I can, and the truth will set me free to make good choices and good decisions today…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 9

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 9 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 9 2013: step five in mind… "Do I respect myself? And do I respect people, places and things? How do I feel about me right now?" Three questions: I do respect myself and I do respect people, places and things. And I feel okay today. The rodent operations team have recommended that a carpenter come to deal with mouse holes in my flat. It is like a Swiss cheese with plenty of holes today. And I imagine... When the mouse carpenter comes, he will scratch his head as I do. It can be very difficult when there are many holes in one's outlook, let alone mouse holes, at the same time I know there are always nooks and crannies where even the most ardent observer of respectful behaviour can slip through the moral conundrums which we will face today…

Over the last few weeks there have been many moments of challenge, in being respectful of others, who tell lies to cover up, they just tell lies, because they can and think they won't get away with it. And there is moral high ground person within me who just wants them being brought down to earth. If I have to bring them back down to earth, the impact on me, can be horrible, and quite devastating, because that is what I know I can do to them. I'd rather keep off my high horse, it is a long way to tumble on any day, and healing can take an awful long time…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 9

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | May 8 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 8 2013: step five in mind… "Do I have a moral compass? Do I know right from wrong, not only for myself, in the context of being with other people and their moral compass." I know back in the day, if anyone was going out for a quick drink after work, I might join in, and towards the end of my drinking days, anything could happen, and I would pretend to be forgetful about my consequences, and especially my actions…

If I was working, I would never drink during the day because I never knew what one drink would do, and how many more would follow, or where my mood would go. I wouldn't get angry, most often I would become silly and sentimental and amorous. And when we have spent many a long day alone with our own feelings and not expressing them, there were many intimate moments which began well and often ended in sadness, emptiness and loneliness. Not because of the girl, it was because I was sad, empty and lonely…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 8

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | May 7 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 7 2013: step five in mind… "Have I told any lies today? No, but it's early in the day…" As I have hardly said a word this morning, I don't think I have lied to anyone. But what about the lies might have told myself? When I woke up, very early in the morning, and stood up to go put the kettle on, there was no pain when I walked. I expected there to be pain because that is how it is for me. I had an expectation, and it was not met. I felt happy to be painless, that the pain free feeling was there was unusual… But it is back now!

I am laughing at the moment, even my head will argue with itself from the moment I wake up, to the moment I go to sleep. In my early days of recovery, respite from having to lie about drinking and just not drink for a day felt like an ordeal. Do I feel like sobriety is an ordeal today? I don't, life is good even though more things seem to be wrong with me, alcohol is not one of them. I wouldn't be alive to have complications and chronic diseases pile in. If I weren't sober, I would not have learned how to cope with disability, nor would I have learned how to love people without conditions and find love back without conditions. And every day is useful in endeavour of one sort or another… Especially when I can get out to take photographs…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 7

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | May 6 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 6 2013: step five in mind… "Step four: all my liabilities and all my assets. Stripped bare and sharing this with…" How you share step five is your business, and the objective is simply to clear the decks, understand how we got to wherever we got to and what are we going to do now? Today it is sunny and I am going out, even though my feet hurt like hell, my back hurts and I ought to be lying down! Bugger that, sunshine is rare these days. And a few minutes out, or a bit longer will do me the world of good in my head. Even when my body is complaining.

I will learn a little bit more about myself today, no one has a complete identity, and anyone can change if they choose to. A lot of people do get stuck being one way and fear change. I need to embrace change, understand what I can do and what I cannot do today. And only by endeavour and having a go, will I make progress. It does not matter what progress I make, so long as I am sober and making free choices without fear and without ego. And without pride, getting in the way of learning… Easy Peasy lemon Squeezy? Not fucking likely!


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 6

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Alcoholics Anonymous | May 5 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 5 2013: step five in mind… "Is it really okay to admit my faults and my mistakes when I make them every day?" If I can admit my faults and mistakes, or might I call them "learning opportunities." Then I stop beating myself up, and I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I am simply learning life today… And if I am chastised, teased or bullied by other people, I may be hurt for a while, and then I forgive them and I know I don't have to behave like them…

And a good sense of humour? Can help us out anytime and anywhere, if we can laugh at ourselves and restrict it to ourselves and not point fingers in any other direction!


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 5

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | May 4 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 4 2013: step five in mind… May 4 2013: step five in mind… "You look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders…" It often felt that way for me, I took responsibility for everything, the world, you and me, and it was my responsibility to put it right. I don't know why I felt this way? Maybe it was because I could see what was wrong and what needed to be put right. In the end I was grateful for step five, because I learned what I was responsible for, and my part in it. It cut me down and made me responsible for what I did, not what you did. And certainly not responsible for all the ills of society I could see and do nothing about…

And when we look at the world, sometimes life is hell, and sometimes life is heaven, and most of the time, it's just the way it is because nobody has the power to put everything right: especially all those things you do wrong and I have no control over. I know this reads a bit hostile, and you might find you are in a similar position to me. There are a lot of people out there doing wrong things and engaged in wrongdoing, the problem is if you tell them so, they will still do it and blame you, as a consequence, because you did not stop them. Better to be a little bit Buddhist in this respect, just because you feel like shooting somebody, don't blame me if you do, you have your hand on your trigger today…


Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 4

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | May 3 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 3 2013: step five in mind… Confession is an ancient discipline! Trying to get to the truth of now, can be quite difficult when people are protecting themselves and often the work they do. When we protect ourselves with lies, most likely we do not like ourselves, or what we have done. Writing step four, highlighting all the recollections of the past can feel quite daunting. When we share it with God, and another human being. Stripped bare, in the eyes of another person is always going to be difficult. Some say: "trust God and clean house." I do trust, to the "truth, love and wisdom of now." And the truth keeps on developing, learning love, how to love and how to be loved back. The wisdom of now grows and changes moment to moment…


It has been a difficult few weeks in practical terms. Trying to educate reluctant people about truth, and what to do as a consequence has been an education. Even when the truth is irrefutable, people will defend indefensible actions because they can. And because they think they can get away with it. Time is always precious, and spending time getting to the truth of some matters really is wasteful. Watching the news today, where we have elections in the UK, those who would defend ideology and the actions which have followed, have been given a bloody nose by the electorate. I do hope for change, sometimes any sort of change seems necessary… That's the trouble with ideology, you still get nowhere pretty quickly. When it comes to the truth of how we want to live, the truth will out always, if we choose the path of truth, it may be difficult, it will always be authentic, to thine own self be true… And be happy when you can!

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 3

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | May 2 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 2 ~ What would have happened if I had tried to sidestep step five? Admitted to God and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs? In my case it would be simple: fear of being found out at some future date about something or other. One of the things which often bothered me was not being good enough and so ego stepped in to exaggerate already exaggerated behaviour. I did not need to embellish what had happened in my life, it had been bad enough. And yet… I wanted it to be more spectacular and step five, was certainly an ego deflating exercise. By the end of it, I felt quite ordinary… Extraordinarily ordinary! And I liked it…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 2

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

Alcoholics Anonymous | May 1 | DonInLondon | Step 5 "Share Your Truth"

May 1, 2013: with step five in mind, we are learning to admit and accept who we are and what we have done. We are becoming more open, honest and willing to live life on life's terms. As we assume these values of being open, honest and willing, you will find in the world that many people do not hold these values and do not have integrity. Just because other people are often closed down, dishonest and unwilling, we still may need them in our lives.

And indeed we might love particular people who are stuck in old dishonest behaviour. And generally in life, we find many people cannot and will not take responsibility for their failings.

We continue on our own path, and learn what works in all the situations we face in life. When we encounter difficulties, it is so easy to fall back into anger and resentment, not only in early days, as I found recently approaching nine years, sometimes people need a kick up the arse! It is a time-consuming activity, getting all the ducks in a row and then….

Forgive, and forgive again or we end up stuck in step six: fear, a brave face and ego, rather than step seven, where we keep to courage, faith and confidence, even when we have to kick a few people up the arse to get the job done… Always stick with truth, try love people for their failings because we all have them and it is a difficult road, the truth of now, can be hell and heaven rolled in together…

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection"

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,