June 7 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 6 Spiritual Willingness Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "abundance of natural desires and excesses…" Vices and virtues! One man's meat is another man's poison comes to mind. And what may be one man's virtue another man can see as a vice. I'm not here to judge what is right for you, simply make sense in good conscience the next best step in living life where needs are met and wants forgotten…
"Nature and Providence…" We are of nature and live in the world as it is, we do not choose our situation. And sometimes we get a good start in life which shapes how we behave and equally we may have all measure of challenges facing us which equally shapes how we behave. As we recover our wits, learn our emotional and spiritual situation we have freedom to choose what we do. Alone our choices may revert to old times, with help and included and asking for help we find a new way to live emotionally and spiritually…
Whatever drove as beyond our natural desires into a unnatural excesses, recovery needs to be one day at a time. As each day passes, leaving our addictive substance or behaviour behind us, the pain and hurt become more profound and sometimes it is easy to slip back into oblivion. On our own the desire for oblivion can be overwhelming. With help we learn how the pain subsides and there is room for healing. Grief and loss and pain, with help we can cope one day at a time…
What if we never learned what was right and what is wrong in the past? And these days when we see the greediness of what is around us? And the excesses which led to happiness for a while and then took us to a living death. The confusion created by the obvious inequality and unfairness around us can drive us mad again. Finding our own moral compass and not imposing it on anybody else I feel is essential for anyone in recovery. Progress yes not perfection and certainly not saintly, simply human with a conscience…
AA Daily Reflections ~ "LONG-TERM HOPE Since most of us are born with an abundance of natural desires, it isn’t strange that we often let these far exceed their intended purpose. When they drive us blindly, or we willfully demand that they supply us with more satisfactions or pleasures than are possible or due us, that is the point at which we depart from the degree of perfection that God wishes for us here on earth. That is the measure of our character defects, or, if you wish, of our sins. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 65
This is where long-term hope is born and perspective is gained, both of the nature of my illness and the path of my recovery. The beauty of A.A. lies in knowing that my life, with God’s help, will improve. The A.A. journey becomes richer, the understanding becomes truth, the dreams become realities-and today becomes forever. As I step into the A.A. light, my heart fills with the presence of God."
Past PRESENT Future... We can be beguiled by the past. Reminded of the good times and the bad times, we can evoke powerful memories and extremes. We can look forward and miss the present moment, today we can make choices based on reality, always the present perfect moment to change...
Long Term Hope... Always in the action and today. If we can ground ourselves in what we can do now, cannot do now, we set a plan for the day. Needs met, wants in balance. We can be hopeful, long term for us can be this one day. Our actions today are foundations and the future becomes possible...
"Your time is precious, don’t waste it living someone else’s idea of life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t drown in other’s opinion, listen to your own inner voice. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, you already know what you truly need to become. Freedom in action"
June 7 2007
Fake It To Make It? DonInLondon ‘Day In The Life’
This phrase I have heard in recent years a lot, and it always leaves me with discomfort. Key words for me, open, honest and willing, courage, faith and confidence. I like these words and concepts they embrace. The other keywords ego, fear and bravery also make me hark back to old behaviour and old ways. And not so old ways! I am human and far from perfection.
It’s also hard to let go of being nice. Being nice is the me who said yes to the most dreadful mistakes in living. And my old mistakes of burying my head in the sand…
I had a couple of replies to write this morning to some of the emails I get. And in truth the replies helped me with another problem of a person I have known some years and their friendship.
As time has gone by over this past year, the truth and opportunities to be truthful, to be the real me have become easier and more transparent. When I deviate into little lies, they grow and I end up as another wrote to me this last week in a place where lies come easy and my path is cluttered with abundant dishonesty.
How much of the time did I spend in years past pretending? I have no clue, but it gave me a thirst for oblivion. True for me and others? The deceits are manifest when we catalogue the little lies we tell. They can be sweet lies and seductive as we promise ourselves and feel natural urges in some physical departments which are sometime less spiritual and more to do with our nature and hormones..
I have loved and lost it, been loved and misunderstood it. Been told I am loved and it’s been a lie. So the truth and opposites are no strangers to me.
Belonging, being included
We know sometimes we wanted it more than anything, so we looked right and at the same time our skin crawled with worry and discomfort was palpable. The worry of being found out and not in the scheme of the life we felt most we wanted. And still these days sometimes as I have found people are so desperate to look right they twist themselves this way and that for love and being loved. And worse they pretend with me, and that makes me feel awful.
Fake it to make it?
In my experience, it has always undone the good of me. And it took years to realise that if we fake some things our path is so off the map of what is right for us, we are lost in a wilderness of painful reminders day in and day out. The insanity it stirs is repetitive and awful calamity as we get no nearer to living our true path, whatever that may be.
The last outwardly big career job for me?
I lied convincing no one I guess as my unhappiness and discomfort just got bigger and bigger. Pretending to be happy and loyal when all I preferred to do was find another job, and worse more of the same at the time. And in some ways the bigger the job and the success became, the more my overall purpose and living were compromised. I failed to see the truth and paid a hefty price to get to where I am today. I am glad I failed at that big career, it gave me back my life, a long time after of course!
I do believe rightsizing is most important for me, any fake behaviour just leaves me repulsed and cold inside as if my spirit, my zest, withers and I get no peace of mind. My ego plays up, my fear gets bigger and my bravery makes me very, very off balance.
Bravery and fear will haunt me if I slide into ego, and denials run as fast as my words. The fake of me and the truth of me in such a conflict it makes me feel ill. I need stick with truth even when it feels hurtful and the fear of a potential loss of love actually means the love offered is to the fake of me and not the truth of me.
I have met some wise and wonderful people this past few months and from the most unusual sources, via the BBC of all places and over the internet. And in not too distant towns and across the world. People looking at life and doing their best as the days offered and also as tortured often as me by half the truth and less than half the truth.
All good learning for me. And although I may seem upset tonight in all this is forgiveness.
Faking it to make it, comes out of fear, the dark of us, the less than feeling we have often as people put us down. I guess I realise these days we can put ourselves down and be false far much faster if we play a “game” at living.
Esteem comes from learning the difference between false premise and an open promise. We get the promises in living a good life as we journey with faith and courage. Fear rightly dogs us as we work our way through calamity and extreme conditions of living. I can attest to that.
So for me today, in not too far off places and very far off places I hear the message loud and clear towards being true to oneself and in so doing being true to others.
As we Mature
We do learn to be the way we end up, I can make no judgment for others or their path these days, unless it may bugger me up in some way. I may make changes in my choices, in the day as life shows me truth or dishonesty.
We need forgive everything, we need realise how this helps us understand and let go, letting go what is harmful and alien as life does appear better lived in this one day.
Spiritual and Stuff
A friend with more than three decades in the fellowship spoke eloquently tonight about everything I have come to understand. The simplicity, the joy, the complications we humans make of simple stuff and end up barking bonkers when we will ourselves the wrong way to live.
Odd really I heard a treatise a few days ago on power and self-will gone a bit weird. Self-will, the will power to come through all adversity and have the badges of honour to show for it. Power over what, I understand powerless is far better than ego and self will run riot these days. Also known as white knuckling, to those who understand it.
The person that night who spoke had nothing I wanted. Denials and filters make anything seem true, we are better seeing the truth of the journey and how we live in this one spiritual moment of now. History and Experience give us the wisdom for today, tomorrow an unknown.
Forecasts - “there may be trouble ahead”
As the song goes, let’s face the music and dance, after all its far better to dance now as best we are able than sit and worry about something which has yet to happen and may never. A day at a time indeed, and a weather eye from wisdom as some things are plainly predictable and so are some people. Not my business or my responsibility to interfere, I need keep my path with care and love, try not to fake anything, try not fix myself or others. Live and be what I may, just for today.
There may be trouble ahead
But while there’s music and moonlight (moonlight and music) and love and romance
Let’s face the music and dance
Before the fiddlers have fled
Before they ask us to pay the bill, and while we still have that chance
Let’s face the music and dance
Soon, we’ll be without the moon
Humming a different tune - and then...
There may be teardrops to shed
So (but) while there’s music and moonlight (moonlight and music) and love and romance
(let’s face the music and dance, dance)
(let’s face the music - lets here that music)
Let’s face the music and dance
Step 6 "Spiritual Willingness" Reading Video Link:
wrongs. Chapter 6, Into Action, Big Book From: Page 72 Thru: Page 75, the bottom of the page. 12 And 12 Step 5."
June ~ Video Reading Chapter Six Into Action Link:
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords
sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the
Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service