June 19 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 6 Spiritual Willingness Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "halt who goes there? Friend or foe… AA regeneration…" Hungry, angry, lonely and tired HALT can be friends or foes, frenemey the friend or enemy changes with the times. The old message in a bottle no longer works, the new message in fellowship is that reality works, and it need only work one day at a time…
Regeneration, letting go the old parts of life, and sometimes every part of life to find a new path to be able to live life on life's terms. No longer needing to fix anything least of all my feelings with something outside of me, people places and things and usually the thing that fixed my feelings or gave me control to be out of control was alcohol. An old English term "blotto" blotted out real feelings or exaggerated feelings I feared or suppressed feelings I thought were shameful or unworthy…
Regeneration in any form is about change and in some cases reform and in some cases a return to natural state of being. A natural state of being for me is experiencing reality as it is, learning how I feel about life, in other words having a mature and working emotional outlook. It does not mean my emotions will become bland, it means every emotion mankind has now works in me. And there is nothing shameful about all emotions are working in the moment of now…
Just because I have feelings about people, places and things, it does not mean that others or anyone may feel the same way but it does help. As I now start to respect my own feelings about people places and things, I need to be respectful of other people’s feelings about people places and things. We may love and cherish people in our lives, and we will be loved back by some and how I love and cherish may be very unwelcome by some too and that is very okay today, how to let go inappropriate feelings...
Regeneration, learning how to love, be loved back and cherished… The good news, love comes our way on many levels which is wonderful. Two of the most challenging elements in life can be romance and finance. Just because we love another romantically it does not mean that they can love us back in the same way… Be prepared for reality and acceptance! And in finance, I have learned that if needs are met, stop wanting before it becomes another fix and addiction today…
The good news with regeneration in human terms is that times change, feelings change and if we have courage, faith and confidence we can always challenge our own outlook. And of course we can change our minds as can everyone else. In other words human relationships, sometimes they grow, sometimes they diminish and sometimes we just don't know where we stand which is another good part of recovery, it is okay not to know and not to understand anything in the moment of now. And we can find out…
AA Daily Reflections ~ "A.A. REGENERATION" Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one’s old life as a condition for finding a new one. A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 46
A thousand beatings by John Barleycorn did not encourage me to admit defeat. I believed it was my moral obligation to conquer my “enemy-friend.” At my first A.A. meeting I was blessed with a feeling that it was all right to admit defeat to a disease which had nothing to do with my “moral fibre.” I knew instinctively that I was in the presence of a great love when I entered the doors of A.A. With no effort on my part, I became aware that to love myself was good and right, as God had intended. My feelings set me free, where my thoughts had held me in bondage. I am grateful."
DonInLondon 2005-2011
Around the time of the writing of much of A.A.'s literature "John Barleycorn" had come to be used as a euphemism for alcoholism or alcohol.
Why am I thinking this way? “I need to do this, I want to do that, I want to fix something!” Thinking is always influenced by my feelings and desires. Always I need be aware of my desires and intentions. Ask myself how am I feeling, why and what to do helps me find the best next step in the moment of now…
Life plan just for today... Our thinking is often in the next moment, our feelings catching up as we make sense of real time events. Our shock, denial anger and resentments, joy, happiness can be right sized in the moment when we stop analysing and let go to "feel the moment of now..."
"A.A. Regeneration..." Alone, we could not stop, for others we could not stop. Together in recovery we rely on many with experience strength and hope to keep sober today. One human will pull another under the waves, in "Unity and Service," the many save another into recovery for today
I enjoyed the two meetings on Friday and went to the lunchtime meeting at the Hut yesterday and old Mr Smith did the chair. Funny and sad at the same time. Good sharing by everyone and me. There was a girl there called Miss Smith who is the “doorman” at xxxxxxx members Club, which is something I did back in the day. Coincidences a plenty always, and it was good to laugh and know the club is the same as always, a den of iniquity, sex drugs and alcohol!
You know, going to meetings is always like putting on a set of old clothes which fit nicely, roomy and comfortable. I do love meetings and they never seem to irritate me, I just come away happy, even when I get collared afterwards for long chats.
June 19 2007
Progress Not Perfection - DonInLondon ‘Day In The Life’
Quite important for me at the moment is understanding the progress I am making in recovery, and also the truth that some maladies are not progressing to recovery at all. In fact the reverse is true. And that is to do with type 1 diabetes in the main and depression which is always about and hard to deal with when it’s a real low.
So one out of three for progress and positivity, which is all about fellowship and Alcoholics Anonymous. And the other two, clinical depression is a manageable condition once we understand what is going on. And the diabetes is a manageable condition, but it requires we have our heads pretty well screwed on and our wits about us. Which is difficult when the lights go off I guess and the dark comes in.
So progress for me can be good and not so good as some things are beyond anyone’s power in the here and now to fix. And indeed fixing is not really the goal. Living in this world as best can be with what I have is my goal. So about the day.
Today
I saw my Doctor today. A good and positive consultation and changes to some of the regime to help manage pain with less side effects. And a different nerve agent which may help. Changes of this nature are pretty hard on me as one reduces one medication for another.
It bothered me a little tonight to hear some sharing about the use of medication. And this will always be an issue for some who can recover their sensibilities and outlooks through the programme, and those who have chemical deficits which do not respond to wishful thinking and feeling. Denials around all these matters is quite often loud and robust. And the reason why is to do with denial and more denial. Some people do not have a good chemistry set, and the deficiencies are there to be found.
Some people can do well and make good their recovery with a big book and a positive attitude. Some people just don’t have the basic level ‘playing field’ and need to adjust chemistry.
Insulin
I need it and it works. It stops me starving to death. Without insulin we don’t convert food to energy. So it’s a chemical dependence. And my body chemistry is deficient in other hormones also linked to poor insulin levels which make my brain work or not as the case may be. And its hereditary, clinical depression and things like tinnitus also need adjustments to get me to normal. I realise my normal is my normal and not you normal.
Wisdom Learned
Around biology and chemistry. Sciences, it advances in leaps and bound as we determine the genetic codes of us humans and what works and does not work. So some of us benefit from modern science where nature forgot to install some parts.
Physical and Emotional Well Being
I mention these things tonight as someone shared their concern about use of anti-depressants. And I know sometimes they are offered when time will work the miracle of recovery. There is definitely a perception in some who know what they think is true, that all chemistry and supplements offered to alleviate distress and deficits in body chemistry are unnecessary.
In truth modern science is moving at a pace. And I benefit from modern science which keeps me alive day by day. I would not deny modern science, or question another’s requirements regarding such matters.
Hokum
There is much ‘witch doctoring’ going on in this world around use of medical science, I for one am happy the science is working pretty well, and also recognise there is denial in some who strive to be “clean” and scorn modern medical help..
I need not follow this path or I will certainly die without insulin and my brain will not function if it too has deficits which modern science has identified.
The Problem with Quackery
Medicine men, Alchemy, Magic, Spiritual, power over and mind over matter! We need examine our fundamental understandings in the light of research and scientific breakthroughs which keep people alive.
If we consider our recovery is dependent on denial of modern science and the development of medicine, we really must ask some questions about what we believe and have faith about.
Will our Faith heal us? Or will science heal us?
I guess for me, I get spiritual healing in fellowship, I get scientific healing in my body with science. And how these two interact and keep me on track in recovery are interdependent as I have found.
Faith Healing and Scientific Healing
It’s not an absolute choice in some respects. As we were persuaded by alchemy for centuries, and believed the world was flat, we are best listening and following more modern understandings of how we work and live and make life as it can be in the day.
I get concerned when curiously zealous critics of science suggest people stop following advice from Doctors and the like about how to be in recovery and deal with emotional and bodily conditions that will not respond to faith.
If anything, spiritual is in this one moment where we understand our truth, good or bad and denial and reliance on faith can help or hinder.
Anyways - What Do I know?
I need trust my fellowship and those in it with my recovery and sobriety. I find my spiritual path is consistent with fellowship values and principles, which are suggestions and recommendations. Spiritual progress is not co-dependent on a power defined as God, more likely an understanding of Nature and Providence, and common sense help us most, as much as belief in god makes us spiritual? Belief in God does not make us spiritual so proved through the centuries and wars made in the name of God.
I need trust my faith, courage and confidence to help keep me focussed and diligent. Trust as I may in what professionals tell me, live with the understanding we are making progress. That I, like any other may not impose my values or judgments on others and how they live to good conscience.
Overall Today
Good reminders of what is working and what is possible. I need trust who I may, and their credentials as much as anyone can judge mine.
Peace and Tranquillity - choice in the moment of now? We may endeavour as life offers, the outcome is as always, something we are most likely powerless over. Long may it be so.
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AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve
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Step 6 "Spiritual Willingness" Reading Video Link:
wrongs. Chapter 6, Into Action, Big Book From: Page 72 Thru: Page 75, the bottom of the page. 12 And 12 Step 5."
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June ~ Video Reading Chapter Six Into Action Link:
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Traditions: steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
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Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
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