June 20 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 6 Spiritual Willingness Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "release from fear…" Wouldn't it be wonderful? In recovery to be free of the fear of relapse and what alcohol might do? Generally and by keeping it simple, continuing to put effort into learning, having gratitude and simply living the principles, I minimise the danger and fear of reverting back to old attitudes and actions. With help and fellowship freedom from that fear is achieved one day at a time…
In Alcoholics Anonymous meetings we hear experience, strength and hope, and depending on our needs we choose how we keep connected in fellowship, one-to-one, in groups, in unity and service. And gratitude and a daily basis means I can face not only the fear which might be generated when I'm left to my own devices, I keep safe and keep on asking for help when I need it. And even when I don't think I need it, I need one-to-one, to be in touch with fellowship meetings and part of them. Yes I am self-reliant as much as anyone can be, because of everyone who helps me with, faith courage and confidence…
Release from fear… I used to really fear what might happen next, and I was gifted with a wonderful imagination. I can recall expert psychological interventions in my work life to help people, under the auspices of training and development. Giving unscrupulous people the emotional tools to hold and control others are not good practice. I remember a boss saying to me, "imagine the consequences if you don't follow and do what I say…" And my imagination would go to the worst case scenario very quickly. I worked myself almost to death. Would I do it again? No is the answer and fuck him. I forgive myself for that trap and actually I forgive him because he has a miserable existence as a consequence of his outlook…
Even after a few years in recovery, if I said I had no fear I will be lying to myself as much as I would be lying to you. A good amount of fear to keep me safe in a general way around living life and the danger points keeps me on my toes. Aware of what might happen in the moment makes me pay attention to what is going on around me and also inside my head. Asking for help from a higher power and everybody around me make sense and keeps me safe as possible in the moment of now…
No longer gripped by fear, a need to cover up and put on a brave face, we are released from the pain of inadequacy and feeling less than others. The true gift is actually saying I don't know how to do something and obviously ignorance is not bliss. The only way fear can grip me in situations is when I pretend to be okay when I am not. It is really okay not to be okay and ask the help and those who can will, and those who can't can fuck off because they don't have the wisdom, and I forgive them [the cuntibollockbastards] too because I was capable of being like that in the past and hopefully less so in the present day…
AA Daily Reflections ~ "RELEASE FROM FEAR... The problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall have to try for all the freedom from fear that is possible for us to attain. Then we shall need to find both the courage and grace to deal constructively with whatever fears remain. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 61
Most of my decisions were based on fear. Alcohol made life easier to face, but the time came when alcohol was no longer an alternative to fear. One of the greatest gifts in A. A. for me has been the courage to take action, which I can do with God’s help. After five years of sobriety I had to deal with a heavy dose of fear. God put the people in my life to help me do that and, through my working the Twelve Steps, I am becoming the whole person I wish to be and, for that, I am deeply grateful.
Step 6, all about defects of character and how they impact on our daily life. Fear, putting on a brave face and ego rising in the moment happens when we feel challenged in our outlook and behaviour. I do need to take account of how I behave and the impact it has on those I love and encounter today. Seeing the situation through the eyes of those around me is so important or I lose sight of the bigger picture. It’s not all about me…
I need remind myself when I encounter difficult people, and loved ones, what feels like the worst for me is them being the best they can be in that moment. I can look back and shudder with remorse at my own behaviour. Our worst might have been the best in that moment. Forgive everyone everything, an open heart will lead to peace and serenity…
Release from fear daily... A universal meditation to God and or good conscience ~ grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Every time we say it, we find our choices in the moment of now...
Success and failure may be impostors... Do we measure up? Our emotional and spiritual balance "in the now" depends on how we cherish ourselves and others, or how we may be superficial and indifferent. Cherish, superficiality, indifference good measures to progress a day at a time...
June 20 2007
Self Will - Will Self Destruct - DonInLondon ‘Day In the Life’
Today has been a good day for getting about by bicycle, after Sunday and the time it took with public transport it took me two and a half hours extra to get to my fellowship meeting. And the results of walking too far were apparent yesterday with severe cramps in my legs as a result. I am to have further check-ups to check causes.
I went to see a friend of mine at the end of my road at Café Milano. It’s just a very short walk there, and I took the bike along so I could then go off and visit the Town Hall.
I spent more time there than planned and got involved in a very interesting debate about ethics and politics. The truth is I felt impatient to get on and at the same time felt it was necessary to stay a little longer.
As the debate broadened to even bigger subjects, and the existence and presence of a God in the universe, it was making me feel somewhat at a loss what to say.
We learn faith as much as we learn anything, by our life experience and what life shows us as we endeavour and journey. And we also listen to many in society who have faith and beliefs and are committed to a way of living as a result.
I have never really wanted to persuade anyone to falter or change their outlook or faith and beliefs based on anything I might say. And the problem is once we start to ask and dig some more, we hit blanks and brick walls as we see our understanding of the world and what makes it tick along can and will remain a million miles apart.
Faith Defies Argument
In deed faith is reliant on belief and where we learn our beliefs is where it is. In my short experience of trying to persuade anyone of a faith to a different point of view, I gave that up decades ago as absolutely none of my business.
It’s not for me to judge another human being on their faith, and feel the need to be respectful especially when faith may be all there is. I have nothing to offer in return to a powerful force like faith. I may commend good conscience as my guide and need not challenge what I cannot understand beyond Nature and Providence.
Nature and Providence
Is a mighty force. The universe infinite. Much of what we know we can explain. And what we cannot explain in our purpose often leads to faith in and belief in powers which guide us.
God made Man - Man Made God
Is it that we are endlessly challenged in living, then assume we are here with purpose beyond this one life? It may be so. Yet the derivation of God and how this world works have been changing as we evolve and as we understand the complexities of this one life we have now. For many the purpose of this one life is uncertain and for many, belief and faith maybe keeps many going and endeavouring or they might expire too soon.
I get spiritual, which is to see and experience this world as it is today and right now in this one moment. Mind body and breath in this moment.
I am smiling just now I feel I have been quoted by another person tonight and then realise it would be arrogant indeed to suggest anything I might say here is unique or authentic, or has not been felt or thought before.
It was to do with the imperfect, perfect moment of now. To experience this world as is without filters or denials, or at least as we may with our capacities.
As we develop an outlook better able to see reality as it is, or appears, we let go our curious habit as common to all humanity and every living element on this planet, that we are in some way important, and particularly important from our own human perspective.
We need to feel right, and every instinct is gifted to every living element, we are all forces of nature driven to survive, adapt, get on and eventually end.
Ego’s drift and self-importance has managed to gift us all with survival instincts. And as we have emerged dominant in the forces of the natural world so far, we are truly likely to believe that there is more than this experience and there is another purpose.
Nature and Providence
Changes us as each generation grows and another follows. From living in a world created by God in seven days we now understand much more than our ancestors and of course those who felt the world was flat and Rome was at the centre of the Universe. Or Egypt, or in a jungle in South America, or Washington DC currently.
We are globalising our experience and in a short two thousand years, it’s taken mankind to the brink of self destruction, other forces of nature across time let the dinosaurs live for millions of years. And modern man has sat on the edge of self destruction many times, because of faith intellect and instinct. And worse hatred and prejudice born of ignorance and fear of diversity.
God and Human Endeavour
It would without doubt be simpler to trust in a benevolent higher power. As my comprehension is still limited to what I can understand spiritually, here, now and in this moment… Well my relative importance extends no further than the tip of my nose.
In truth and real terms good conscience and developing peaceful ways to live life, endeavour and be a part of creation does me fine so far. Ego’s drift, that is my ego’s drift to another level of consciousness is under construction, and may be needs another lifetime? As some believe and actually the gift is what is left which influences our civilisation to the good and not to self will run riot…that I may experience heaven is where myself importance fails to go, or am I just stuck in a malady as I lack faith to believe. I do not know and may never know.
Temptations and Capitulations
Where faith is strong there is no need to change outlook, challenge to faith and living often makes us at war with each other. And we humans are equipped to fight hard for any cause and faith leads the way in self destruction across the centuries.
The answers my friends…
Well they probably are blowing in the winds of time. As we turn to dust and have lived and hopefully have enjoyed a useful existence, what follows remains an uncertainty for me, and a welcome transition for many. As we go, I hope we find harmony on the journey and respect and understanding. Not so close in this world yet. And yet my faith in human nature is restored one day at a time. Just for today.
And here I am back with fellowship. That I can respect faith and diversity as my diversity is respected. As I am yet to understand, that I may make progress and not absolutes and imperfect, is actually the perfect. That indeed perfection is forever an unfinished work. Or there would be no purpose to anything at all.
And in this perfect imperfect moment of now, till tomorrow...
Step 6 "Spiritual Willingness" Reading Video Link:
wrongs. Chapter 6, Into Action, Big Book From: Page 72 Thru: Page 75, the bottom of the page. 12 And 12 Step 5."
June ~ Video Reading Chapter Six Into Action Link:
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Traditions: steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service