May 28 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 5 Admit And Accept | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "equal rights… AA groups have been known to go on rule making benders!" Patience love and acceptance are all keys to the kingdom whatever and wherever your kingdom may be. It is never for me to lay siege to your understanding of life, the universe and everything. Work with what works, because you're worth it today…
I know I was frightened when I first came to Alcoholics Anonymous. This emotional and spiritual journey of life, redemption and a new path of freedom. I know I wanted to believe that there was a path to be had and I was trying to conform to what others were doing around me. The more I tried to conform to another person's pattern of life, the more horrible I felt because I was moving away from the emotional and spiritual experience of now: feeling right and being right with myself and good conscience…
Every time I burden another person with the task of being like me in recovery, I stop their emotional progress and I stop their spiritual progress. Each person need find what is right for them with a sober head and a sober outlook. There are no rules, laws or regulations to govern the behaviour of anyone in our Fellowship. Tolerance and love, acceptance and sharing experience, strength and hope so another can develop their own personal outlook in recovery today…
I've yet to find a way to violate suggestions which keep people alive. I can violate your sensibilities, by my outlook and by my actions. And equally as we are all able to stamp on each other's toes to the point where it's not just a physical pain, it is an emotional pain, we do what we can to keep faith in doing the next right action. There are no don'ts in recovery except maybe one, don't take anyone's freedom away to choose what is right for them. Judge not today…
All About Truth... Experience, strength and hope, the bedrock of recovery in our fellowship. As we learn and sift through opinion and belief we come to understand what works for ourselves, truth as we see it. Overwhelming similarities, always unique and authentic in our living and outlook...
Inclusion and equal rights... A part of fellowship: an open door, a primary purpose. We learn acceptance and love, which every voice informs. We make choices; develop more equal relationships with family, friends and fellows. Some intimate and close, some distant, as experience informs each day...
AA Daily Reflections ~ "EQUAL RIGHTS... At one time or another most A.A. groups go on rule making benders. . . . After a time fear and intolerance subside. [and we realize] We do not wish to deny anyone his chance to recover from alcoholism. We wish to be just as inclusive as we can, never exclusive. “A.A. TRADITION: HOW IT DEVELOPED.”
A.A. offered me complete freedom and accepted me into the Fellowship for myself. Membership did not depend upon conformity, financial success or education and I am so grateful for that. I often ask myself if I extend the same equality to others or if I deny them the freedom to be different. Today I try to replace my fear and intolerance with faith, patience, love and acceptance. I can bring these strengths to my A.A. group, my home and my office. I make an effort to bring my positive attitude everywhere that I go. I have neither the right, nor the responsibility, to judge others. Depending on my attitude I can view newcomers to A.A., family members and friends as menaces or as teachers. When I think of some of my past judgments, it is clear how my self-righteousness caused me spiritual harm.
May 28 2007
Stuck - DonInLondon ‘Day In the Life’
It’s been good for me to be stuck some of the time doing useful things, working at something useful. And yet being useful is not the end of the story. We can become stuck doing things which don’t help us, don’t let us move on and don’t actually achieve anything for us or anyone else in the end.
From the Olden days
When we are young we learn like crazy, new things, like language, talking and behaving as we see and experience. it’s the patterning of our lives. We are patterned just as if we are a computer, taking in information and working out how we may behave which yields the best response and being loved for who or what we are and do.
Sometimes we Learn to be Helpful to Everyone
Yes we have a sense of vocation, to be part of helping others achieve their goals and dreams. At the same time we need ask ourselves what are our goals and dreams, and the answer is maybe far away from the endeavours we are asked by others.
We can certainly get stuck behaving and being helpful at the expense of our own journey. And especially when asked to help and have skills, then we can face this dilemma of doing more of the same. More of the same can be a really useful endeavour and yield happiness for others. At the same time it may have no useful path to our own dreams and desires for our own living and endeavours.
Helping others is integral to wellbeing, fellowship, being a part of something and actually feeling valued.
A thank you for helping is well deserved often and quite enough for us to keep on going and being a part of something. Yet we might know it has nothing but more of the same along the way and a feeling that we are useful and yet the endeavour may have nothing for us at all in the big scheme.
Madness is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result. Some endeavours we hope might get better connections and feelings belonging, some endeavours asked are definitely never going to yield anything but a feeling of resentment and stubborn assistance in adversity.
Doing the same old same old is really not helpful to those who ask or those who say yes. it’s a place where torment visits and makes everything wrong. And we are better accepting some things will make us happy and other things will end up as burdens.
Some asks are as they are, requests for help and support and we choose what we do. Some asks come in a set of assumptions we are always available to help and support. We need take account of how we feel and what we want to do.
Today and Yesterday
An ask or stretch too far back to an old arrangement yielded a no from me. Mainly because we need not put ourselves back doing something which has nothing much to do with us at all. Although a useful endeavour, it’s not for me or my future. Helping out actually would encourage co dependence and not interdependence. No matter how it may feel like a good idea to help because I can, it leads to a whole pile of things to do, I have no time for or want in my life.
Saying No - unstuck
Is helpful to me and another. Why? It stops the further erosion of my path to peace and good endeavour and our co-dependence on others. Interdependence is equal endeavour to a set of goals complimentary, co dependence is unhealthy reliance on others or subsuming our worth and then ending up in disarray.
The truth of some endeavour is its backwards and although there are nice things to experience in the familiar, the exact opposite is true too as the same old stuff piles up in our minds eye.
Breaking free helps both parties find their truth path to achieving some endeavours. And truthfully sometimes we are better functioning apart. Working doing something we have learned just because we can has no actual value if we don’t value the task or ask.
Feeling Right About No
We do need feel right about saying no, or we end up doing for others and not doing for ourselves. Selfish? It can be and yet it’s not more selfish than the ask in the first place. So we need not worry about some No behaviour, its valid and right.
Saying yes to things we do not want to do will take us low down and horribly resentful. There is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong in being asked. There is everything right about a no. As there is acceptance for the no from another who maturely will understand it was an ask and not a forgone conclusion.
Human Behaviour and Desire
We may desire some things, expect them and then assume so much. Best not to assume anything, ask ourselves the question, am I asking the right person for the right reasons, or merely using them as I have done in the past.
A learner in life might stop asking and then move on and ask the right person at the right time. These things we learn in our private and business living. Right people, right time, right ask, right response, right rewards. And of course the rewards are simple, peace and happiness, interdependence and success. All to the good.
Surprising how often we all get it wrong!
"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Chapter 6, Into Action, Big Book From: Page 72 Thru: Page 75, the bottom of the page. 12 And 12 Step 5."
May ~ All About Step Five:" Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs"
Step 5 "Admit And Accept" Reading Video Link:
May ~ Video Reading Chapter Six Into Action Link:
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords
sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the
Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service