Friday, 11 May 2012

May 11 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 5 Admit And Accept | Alcoholics Anonymous

May 11 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 5 Admit And Accept | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "a new sense of belonging…" Fellowship! With a desire to stop drinking, however reluctantly we may feel about that, we find we are included in a society which positively accepts us when we are broken beyond belief, written off by most people and completely beyond repair…

I know I felt like an outcast all my life, I could always see the faults in me and everyone around me. Despair and depression were overtaken by a desire to do well at any endeavour I took up. To try to be the best I could be no matter what, and always tomorrow would be a better day when I would get a sense of self-esteem and confidence and be okay. And of course, with that outlook, tomorrow and happiness never comes…

And then to encounter a Fellowship, which rejoiced in having reached rock bottom, and I must say whatever your rock bottom is, rock bottom is as bad as it gets and we need no comparing between each other. Maybe rejoiced is a bit of a misnomer at the start of our journey in recovery, after all from my first meeting to the next one, it took another five years of decline before I really understood it was a life and death situation…

This new sense of belonging, to be included in a society with an outlook of recovery being just one day made it possible to be the equal of anyone and everyone. Whether I was one day sober, a week, a year or many years, we live in the same day, today. And more than this, I learned it takes many in recovery to keep a single newcomer sober just for that day. What a marvel, we need each other, learn how to love and be loved back and useful one day at a time…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

An emotional and spiritual programme: If my feelings fit with what is happening, my thinking probably fits too. Over thinking or elaborate thinking might be a sign of something being out of balance. Usually it’s me...

Learning to be me, a daily journey and I will know more by the end of the day. Sober I am more likely to remember people, places and things. People I can choose to be with. Places which are interesting. The things usually are about needs met and wants forgotten. Open, honest and willing, no longer stuck behind the wall of fear, and a brave face today...
AA Daily Reflection: "A NEW SENSE OF BELONGING.. Until we had talked with complete candour of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn’t belong. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 57

After four years in A.A. I was able to discover the freedom from the burden of buried emotions that had caused me so much pain. With the help of A.A., and extra counselling, the pain was released and I felt a complete sense of belonging and peace. I also felt a joy and a love of God that I had never experienced before. I am in awe of the power of Step Five."

May 11 2007

Borderline Alcohol Disorder ‘BAD’ - DonInLondon ‘Day In The Life’

This came up in my last meeting of the Fellowship of alcoholics Anonymous. That is I made up the BAD syndrome as a response to many shares I had listened and absorbed.

Our meeting was typical. As we all go so often we probably forget most of the profound things we say and do to share our stories of experience strength and hope.

My meeting was so good for lots of reasons and it reminded me of times present and times past, and of course that some of us find life so hard we give it up.

Before the meeting: talking for the first time to someone I know and respect. And not really having had an opportunity to have a deep and meaningful talk about life the Universe and everything, we get affirmation and understanding from people we might never have met in any other way. To hear another’s wisdom learned over the years and then sky rocketed by events into the BAD syndrome where we become more dependent on a substance than we ever imagined possible. And the good of living in a sober world, where family let us back in, where we earn our respect all over again and its building on a rock and not the sands of time we so easily became immersed and sunken and lost.

So we were slightly late for the meeting. All about step two and realising we could get beyond the insanity of drink and get a life back if were willing to change and try again.

Trying again..

Yes we heard a brilliant share about how to get our lives back, how to realise some simple steps can restore our sanity and we can live and be well, share and be part of our communities once more. And most of all to be loved and love again…


Tragedy is never far away from us. Some of us make the step to the bridge back to modern living. And we do what we can.

Some of us have lived through depressions so awful and prolonged, the journey has been less than smooth. And some of us don’t make it.

There was sharing of someone who had lost the will to live, and had died in tragic circumstances.

And it filled me of times in my past where life had not been worth it, and the loss of close friends who did in fact opt out of living again and died broken. And it reminds me how that awful pain of loss and everything we can imagine. The pain of loss makes us so distraught even the power of speech can be lost. And profound waves hit us and batter like every stormy tempest encountered as love is lost. And it reminds we where I am today.

Able to Feel as Feelings Happen

This one gift we get, and it’s like a double edged sword. Where we know and understand the pain of living on the edge and what it’s like. And our insides churn as we hear news of another’s calamity. It hurts like no other loss.

And we deal with the feelings and share them and grieve and grieve as hard as we may. Its what we learn to do. Without a drink, and without a filter we are hit head on. And we live it for real.


We ,might question spiritual as a path when we have to live through the worst of times. And as we realise our grieving is far more profound, we realise we are doing as nature intended, to cherish and love our lost loves. So intense and cathartic as we get to understand how precious every element of life is, we can mourn with deepness all humans have, and see our way through these hard times as we find company and support is what we need.

Indeed Spiritual

Is not just one half of a perfect life story, where all is love and peace and harmony. Spiritual is both the good and bad of living. And living with what we must, as much about loss as about renewal and growing and living as we may.


And BAD it came out of nowhere, a good description for me where drink is nearly the issue and not quite in its thrall, we are often borderline alcohol dependent and slip across some invisible line, where one drink is never enough and a thousand won’t ever make us feel right ever again. Drink has lost its power to suppress the torments of life or make the celebrations of life more joyous. Borderline Alcohol Dependent on a path of destruction. I wonder if there is really such a place.

So tonight I came away and felt that maybe that line, if there is such a thing we cross if far earlier than we ever expect. I reckon my line was crossed with maybe the first drink. I will never know for sure, and to me it matters not.

I am sad for friends who feel such a deep and tragic loss. And am hopeful such a shock has not pushed them back to a feeling of thirst. I know as much as anyone may, how easy and seductive that line may be..


Circumspect about the loss and circumspect about many parts of my life. Pleased to have been in touch with good fellows in and out of fellowship, who look out for me these days. And I don’t know what is good for me, I am heartened that they do. No longer a lone ranger, a slightly misfit ting person without so much as a clue to make life work.

These days a fellowship of men and women who look out for each other and do their best to make life work just this one day, and tomorrow we can start again. Life is not so “bad” after all…

Just for today

AA Official Site Reflections ~ AA Official Big Book And Twelve And Twelve Online ~
"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Chapter 6, Into Action, Big Book From: Page 72 Thru: Page 75, the bottom of the page. 12 And 12 Step 5."
May ~ All About Step Five:"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs"
Step 5 "Admit And Accept" Reading Video Link:

May ~ Video Reading Chapter Six Into Action Link:

I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service

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