May 21 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 5 Admit And Accept | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "a list of blessings…" Romance and finance! Always driven all those years before recovery, right girl, right career including being with the right people in the right place with the right things and doing the right things. Driven to extremes in all respects and fuelled by habits learned over a lifetime… Different blessings today…
I could not stop drinking on my own and found I could stop drinking with the help and support of Fellowship and could stay stopped simply one day at a time. It never occurred to me that sobriety would change much of anything, except to be deprived of what made life tolerable. Tolerating life is even more extreme than giving up on life. Alive and sober, the blessings and the promises started to happen. Small changes a day at a time have led to big changes over the years…
In early recovery, I really did not understand what a gratitude list was and it seemed like a really cheesy activity. Grateful not to drink? Grateful for the very basics of life? It took time to understand that I could not go back to the old life which was killing me and nearly did and that life had to change radically. When I stop drinking at the beginning I was really ungrateful, but after a while I was grateful to be sober and that life could start again…
I do try to do a spotcheck inventory to understand what is working and what does not work when things are happening in the moment. And a daily inventory of where things don't go well usually shows me my part in my downfall! I'm really glad that people took time to show me why routines and inventories make a difference. Being grateful to be sober is amazing because my emotional and spiritual progress improves, and my feelings fit with the moment of now…
When truth was unacceptable... How we were, self-will lost to self-obsession, to self-centred fear... Self-medicating and seeking oblivion? How we are today, learning to deal with truth, find acceptance in real choices, needs met, wants fade, there is joy in sadness and sadness in joy, we cherish life...
Assets and liabilities... Sharing in the fifth step highlights the good, what we can build and develop each day. Liabilities often hinder our progress, we are overly fearful, put on a brave face and ego reigns. Today, less shame and guilt, courage, faith and confidence grows as we express our truth...
AA Daily Reflections "A LIST OF BLESSINGS... One exercise that I practice is to try for a full inventory of my blessings. . . . AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37
What did I have to be grateful for? I shut myself up and started listing the blessings for which I was in no way responsible, beginning with having been born of sound mind and body. I went through seventy-four years of living right up to the present moment. The list ran to two pages, and took two hours to compile; I included health, family, money, A.A.– the whole gamut.
Every day in my prayers, I ask God to help me remember my list, and to be grateful for it throughout the day. When I remember my gratitude list, it’s very hard to conclude that God is picking on me."
May 21 2007
Global Fellowship DonInLondon ‘Day In the Life’
Indeed we are a global fellowship. I nearly slipped into calling us an organisation! AA is not an organisation, yet we sometimes forget who and what we are. We forget for one day only we keep sober and try to live life as best we can. We forget the past often and revert to type. That is we revert to having only one view on life, that’s our own of course and not taking into account the bigger picture.
Tonight was a good reminder for me to keep on listening and keep hearing the words of others. All the experience strength and hope we can access, every time we get to a meeting. And then of course to put into action what we learn and know are the safer ways to live.
Put up with
A lot of people do put up with so much and then realise they may have been on the wrong path for them for years. A bit like me, I did things I was good at for decades because I was good at them, and though it was best to follow the knitting pattern as others were happy mostly, as I meandered into more work and more relationships which suited not them overall or me either in the long run.
Why are we here at all?
A good question which can be answered simply. To be happy and understand the way we can live and behave and find peace and harmony. And of course the prime reason is to love and be loved. And in some way belong.
Not so easy really, as lives get complicated and we are beyond the old patterns as the years change our outlook and our societies. We have expectations and desires, we have needs and wants. And still we make it even more complicated with changing and changing and changing, everything.
Do People change?
From their nature and their outlook so long ago, can we change is another question.
And of course we can, yet we need to be change agents with adeptness we so easily forget as we continue our life quest. Language for example, how is it we can learn a language from our birth and then we forget how to learn another? Or is it that we get complicated and keep learning new things based on where we are and what we know. Of course we do, so we place all we learn in the context of language and our capacity to see and understand.
Other Points of view
So many others with different outlooks and different points of view, we can be overwhelmed and sometimes we need take a break and listen hard and live more carefully. And I guess this where I am tonight.
Having said change is to the good, and still I need to take time to consolidate where I am, and this has been affirmed in recent days. Not taking on too much and not meddling with what works and trying to modify myself towards whatever normal may be.
Is there such a thing as normal? To an extent yet we are all different and we all see our world slightly differently and uniquely. We forget with peril that not everyone is going to want us to stay with consolidation as they have other ideas about life and how we live. And of course this hits me when I have been asked to consider some other service commitments in the fellowship.
Nearly time to take on new roles and have a go at something different. And on advice wait two months have a review with my mentors, there are still three out there! Smiles here having three is maybe greedy but they are for different elements of my situation, from medical to ethical and then to spiritual. So I guess as we interchange our roles with others then we get more changes with people we have in our lives.
Something we keep learning about. We develop and understand trust as we understand people and we can check the credentials by what people do and not by what they intend to do.
The Road to Hell is Paved with good Intent
Either we live on the road with our eyes open or we can find ourselves back in hell pretty quick. Word tonight, wherever we may be stick with fellowship and get to meetings.
I have great admiration for the courage people show and help me develop my own. As this world has become smaller and the fellowship wider, we can find here and anywhere in this world when we choose.
And of course we cannot talk inside our fellowship, we can go out and seek advice as anyone can from anywhere we get to know and trust.
All humans are better for sharing and living together. When we find ourselves isolated, that is where fear can lurk and awaits more fear to join it.
Open Honest and Willing
We learn this in fellowship where we seem able to be less judging and more forgiving as we gain wisdom over the years. This is quite different to many other connections we develop in the years we keep sober. Often what drove us to insanity is alive and well in others, so we keep safe and find our path made easier in fellowship.
So complicated and makes us complicated too, so often the solution is simple and easy. And done by the day and in the day. I see a way forward at last, just for today and this day. Tomorrow is another story.
Wherever we may be in the world, it seems our simple path for complicated humans who have unique and authentic outlooks thrive best with our fellowship. A bunch of conventional anarchists we are. Long may it be so, acceptance is always the key.
"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Chapter 6, Into Action, Big Book From: Page 72 Thru: Page 75, the bottom of the page. 12 And 12 Step 5."
May ~ All About Step Five:" Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs"
Step 5 "Admit And Accept" Reading Video Link:
May ~ Video Reading Chapter Six Into Action Link:
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords
sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the
Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service