Wednesday, 2 May 2012

May 2 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 5 Admit And Accept | Alcoholics Anonymous

May 2 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 5 Admit And Accept | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "lighting the dark past…" Step five is sharing what we discovered in step four and probably a lot more. The dark past, comes to life when we share, admit and accept what happened before we got recovery…

Do we reckon we remember the glory days or the gory days? Tall stories recollected not only by me but by others, I can see back when I first started that I needed to be a really good alcoholic and have a really good story to tell. And somehow over time as the truth always comes out in the end, memories become more worthy of sharing. The experience strength and hope of the dark past helped to illuminate how recovery works… I just turned out to be another normal alcoholic, now in recovery one day at a time…

Hiding and cover-up! Guilt and shame, not wanting the truth to come out. We can find ourselves enclosed in lies and torment in this modern world sometimes forced to sign confidentiality agreements if we are to survive. Today I prefer to be open, honest and willing to face all that happened and my part in it. Progress not perfect always, even now the murkiness of back then helps me and reminds me how I want to live my life today…

"Secrets keep us stuck, or some say, secrets keep us sick…" If we are keeping secrets to ourselves for whatever reason, our imagination, it is likely to emphasise the good or the bad for whatever reason. If we share the secrets, we get first-hand feedback and learn more about what is true and what is imagination. The consequences? We can start living the truth, and be more open, honest and willing just for today…

Our emotional and spiritual program of progress is so helpful to me because knowing what my feelings are these days, helps me understand mood affects my thinking and actions. If I feel good and balanced, my thinking is good and balanced and hopefully my actions are good and balanced. If my feeling is fear and worry, my thinking becomes more distorted by fear and worry and what I do is also distorted by fear and worry. A reality check with a friend, checking in at a meeting and connection to others will help me back to a more balanced feeling about life, right now or in the next hour and sometimes for the whole of the day…

AA Official Site Reflections ~ AA Official Big Book And Twelve And Twelve Online ~

DonInLondon 2005-2011 ~ May 2 2007

What A Difference A Day Makes Let Go! DonInLondon ‘Day In The Life’

A day can make all the difference in how we feel about life. Its been up and down for a couple of days and I really was wondering if some of my peace and harmony was to be lost. So rare in the last few years. And with a head which says keep it in the day, I had all sorts going on which made me feel a little bit less than others.

I guess and know that it takes time to recover from a few knocks along the way, even if they are just in a day. Some home truths, some sad moments. And now I feel better as the let go gets better and I realise its good to be just ok. Just ok in my world means taking everything into account. What happens in the world as a whole and what is happening in my local small world.

Global Local is Me!

I do believe its important to know what is happening as much as I can, to know the world news, to understand the nature of life in fast and slow lanes of living. Sometimes we need pick up the pace and then slow down.

Worn Out Burnt Out..

I met a friend tonight I have not seen in quite a while, he is a strong and worthy individual. Has had as much experience of good living and as much of the down side. Anyone experienced in homeless and destitute with a thirst we cannot ever control through any logical means and then coming through to live life again, well we do know what its like to have and have nothing.


We both talked about the life with everything, home and all the trimmings associated with modest to good living. This we had, and it made us sick. We were in some way not quite with the world for one reason or another.

Hard Work

Both of us hard workers over decades and still some thing inside made us fear something, feeling depressed, not in tune. And fear was a great part of the story.

Work hard, and be a man. Work hard and do our best. Do more and more and more. Then we broke down. One way or another the hard work over decades led to more unhappiness as we could not deal with that fear, not being good enough, not deserving and burnt out cases with nothing but hollow feelings.

Between us we had nearly sixty years of hard graft, never ordinary hours, always long hours, more than was ever asked or required we might philosophise as we sat and pondered tonight.

Burned out by willingness to do more and more and more. Its odd really we never thought long enough to realise we were pushing beyond our limits and that the wreckage we would be would lead to drink and downfall.

Who would burn out? Anyone driven to be good be better and always there and on message. Doing the duty, the right thing, and burning far brighter as a result, till the crash and turmoil that drink adds in cases like ours.

Depressions and much more

Indeed our stories are so close today. From homeless and lost to near homed and finding some path. The exhaustion of the years finally abating. Both of us in some way oblivious to what we did over the years to fit in and be useful and driven always to do more and more and more..

Shirkers and drop outs

No we never were. Yet somehow we lost the plot as endeavour gave way to ailments and dependence on something to switch us off. Switching us off
finding oblivion daily to shut the mind which won’t sleep or relax everything we could never close our minds to. To do more and be perfect, and never quite satisfied or feeling just right enough to let go.

Let go those days, no! Let go the years of tortured times where nothing and absolutely nothing was felt as toil only made for more work and more. Always some more to do. Letting go and relaxing and never a kind word felt. That was us.


The only thing which helps the torture of those fast and furious days. When others relaxed we could not. When others enjoyed we could find no connection, when others warned us we paid no heed. Nervous exhaustion and the decline into addiction follows as the years tick by. And we break.

Broken Toys

Some might know this broken down feeling, others may wonder what it may be so broken nothing makes sense and life is not worth living. Driven to distraction and then no oblivion could hide the end we had made as we were truly burnt out. Burn out, on a battle field of pain which none can see till we truly break and cannot be repaired or put back together.


Well the stories and the outcomes are so often heard in our fellowship we listen and often forget all that we hear. We go again and again, till we hear some more sense..

We concluded even before the meeting of our fellowship tonight, we were both still had something new which was helping us day by day. And indeed both still exhausted by the years, its just taken so much time to find a little spark of hope. And now, merely shattered by the day, as we get up to go and share our new living. Just for a day.

Still reeling in time as we make some progress, its just for a day and this seems just fine. We know we will mend now, we see the journey has a purpose as do we. And we know we may get there, just following some simple guidelines.

Let go

We are both letting go, fatigue so ingrained we cannot rest easy unless we find that purpose and belonging again. We know and look forward to it as we endeavour and some days its just almost too much as we develop our living, this time differently with some wisdom and direction we never understood till now.

Repairing and Growing

As with every break down it takes time to mend. Some of us so broken give up along the way. it’s a hard road in recovery, and never that easy until we of all people decide to give ourselves a break and accept our situation. We simply need and needed time to find a path. And just one day only we make progress and not perfection.

And it seems hard sometimes to give ourselves credit for having another go at living. We would often prefer to be done for and gone until light breaks from a dark so consuming its simply taken years to repair. As we glimpse a bit more, the day seems to work, just for today, and we have hope once again.

Journey’s like these, the roller coaster of life, derailed and then set back on some new tracks we make. Is it worth it? Well it seems we were both agreed today that indeed it was worth and we are worth it. We have more to do and contribute as we may as time and mending allows. And we both owe much to professionals as well as the gifted amateurs we are in fellowship.


An irony, we have followed different paths and we have both found there is only one form of spiritual. The connection to the ever present, present moment of now, with less denials and less filters. We find our path spiritual just one day at a time, right here and now, good or bad, wisdom growing and serenity comes as it may as we let go our torment and find our purpose restored.
AA Daily Reflection: LIGHTING THE DARK PAST... Cling to the thought that, in God’s hands, the dark past is the greatest possesion you have- the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert misery and death for them.

No longer is my past an autobiography; it is a reference book to be taken down, opened and shared. Today as I report for duty, the most wonderful picture comes through. For, though this day be dark-as some days must be the stars will shine even brighter later. My witness that they do shine will be called for in the very near future. All my past will this day be a part of me, because it is the key, not the lock.
"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Chapter 6, Into Action, Big Book From: Page 72 Thru: Page 75, the bottom of the page. 12 And 12 Step 5."
May ~ All About Step Five:"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs"
Step 5 "Admit And Accept" Reading Video Link:

May ~ Video Reading Chapter Six Into Action Link:

I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service

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