Saturday 7 January 2012

January 7 | AA 12 Steps In Action |

January 7 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |



Today's daily reflection from AA "we stood at the turning point" I don't know how many times I stood at the turning point, it was an all or nothing thing for me. Always “all in:” career, relationships around people in the right places and having the right things. I was lucky, or nothing, sober or dead. Dead, the horror would have been over. Alive, turns out to be the best road travelled one day at a time…



After two fellowship meetings yesterday, I felt uplifted and really included and part of something bigger than me. Newcomers and people returning: facing that monstrous decision, to slip away or survive and find well-being again. I will never forget just how difficult it is to make that decision to stick around and try to make good one day at a time…



We are very honest about where we come from in our fellowship: “rock bottom” is the most desolate place to be. And by ending it all the pain, the abject misery can be over. Yet somehow you just give it one more go, and then we can ask for help. And asking for help is really the turning point in my experience…



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Maya Angelou "Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it destination full of hope." Our experience, strength and hope helps even when we have no idea how...



Friday night meeting, at the Bolton's: New secretary, fantastic chair and wonderful sharing by everyone. Sometimes the wreckage of the past looms large again and we can be thrown off course. With the help of Fellowship, we can deal with day-to-day as long as we can keep it in the day. Most important for me was the reminder of the "chief critic" inside me, who judges the world as the world judges me. I am not chief critic, I am one of the player’s hopefully same size and right sized with everyone, even when the bastards play "chief critic" and judge me. If I can forgive me for being "chief critic" then I can forgive them for being cuntibollokbastard's just for today…



Just for today meeting this morning, I shared how brilliant my Christmas and New Year was. No expectations meant no resentments under construction. Gratitude list at night: alive and sober. Learning that normal is whatever I am today. If I feel right I think right, and act right. If I feel wrong, I think wrong and can behave wrongly. All in all it pissed off all the people who had a crap Christmas. Not really, there's was normal as well, simply crap normal… Love yourself enough so you can love other people…

-/-

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