Tuesday, 17 January 2012

January 17 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 |

January 17 | AA 12 Steps In Action | 2012 | Today's daily reflection from AA "happiness comes quietly" suggests I knew what happiness was in the first place. Before recovery, I seemed driven to produce happiness and control it. It was not a conscious thing with me; it was buried deep inside, a longing for another moment of tranquillity.

The moments of tranquillity in all my life were very scarce. I didn't know much about my feelings or emotions. My understanding of love tainted by my life experience and what I thought love was. I certainly did love, on reflection though it was very needy rather than simply a state of being.

As the Beatles song went "all you need is love" seemed obvious to the world. But it isn't obvious if love has been missing in action. Missing in action for many years, love is elusive if we ever felt it, and if we can only think love, it remains a thought and not feeling. Fear of being loved, and not able to love back was a useless state of affairs…

Sometimes we hear the quote "most folks are as happy as they make up their mind to be" suggests we can think it so, rather than live it as it is. Most folks are happy when happiness is happening, where feelings fit the experience of now. Manufactured happiness? Not for me. I prefer happy or sad as the moment is. And we can be happy as life affords.

I am more aware these days of my delusions and daydreams about love. The ability to love, be loved back and useful is always in the moment of now. Love does happen naturally and need never be forced indeed we cannot force anything, powerless over feelings, we just think we know better some of the time until we really know what feelings are…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

From feeling like I knew all the answers to living or how to find them, I found I no clue how to stop killing myself with alcohol. I took myself to the brink of extinction more than once. When all else failed, I asked for help and found recovery. Humility and asking keeps me alive for today...

Daily Reflections AA ~ HAPPINESS COMES QUIETLY JANUARY 17, 2012 The trouble with us alcoholics was this: We demanded that the world give us happiness and peace of mind in just the particular order we wanted to get it – by the alcohol route. And we weren’t successful. But when we take time to find out some of the spiritual laws, and familiarize ourselves with them, and put them into practice, then we do get happiness and peace of mind. . . There seem to be some rules that we have to follow, but happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone. DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMERS, p. 308

The simplicity of the A.A. program teaches me that happiness isn’t something I can “demand.” It comes upon me quietly, while I serve others. In offering my hand to the newcomer or to someone who has relapsed, I find that my own sobriety has been recharged with indescribable gratitude and happiness.


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