Alcoholics Anonymous Videos | DonInLondon

Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | Feb 6 2004 - 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 2 "Sanity"

February 6 Video

DonInLondon February 6, 2014: step two month: "came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is insanity. No point in "flogging a dead horse" because it won't get up. And there is no point in flogging anything to end any sort of conflict. Truth is the first casualty in war, and truth is the first casualty whenever we find ourselves in conflict today. We try to make our point of view known and we try to state our case, often we will deny everything another person says to refute their side in matters. Extreme feelings happen very quickly, anger and resentment, followed by justifiable thinking and actions to emphasise our truth. Of course, by that time, our truth is also compromised.

Some people seem to like conflict, I don't. I do like things to happen in an exciting way, to be able to greet people, to be involved, to feel good in their company. And the same applies in all aspects of social interactions. And then there are other interactions, with people in organisations, services and all over our world, we find ourselves in potentially conflicting interactions. And that serenity prayer is really important to me and other people with whom I interact. I do ask with politeness sometimes, what is possible and what isn't possible. And sometimes when I feel a bit tetchy, I might ask bluntly, "what can you do? And what cannot be done by you?" By this time I am heading for conflict because I am challenging another person on their capacities to do something. And when people say no to me in an unreasonable way, because they have authority to say no, I am human and I do get angry. Especially what I'm asking for is well within their purview to put right. And yet they don't! And when they don't, I am prone to raise the stakes and look for a higher power than them and me.

We seem to live in a world which is full of truth, and equally full of half-truths, half lies and damned lies. And somehow it has become fashionable to express points of view and not tell the truth, especially politicians, heads of organisations in the private sector, heads of organisations in the public sector, even in the National Health Service, things are done without telling the patient what is going on. At risk? Everything is compromised when the truth is lost in conflict.

If only one person had listened to me on Monday or was it Tuesday? Tuesday actually, had they listened to me, I would not have erupted and made life difficult right through an organisation which had in fact found a solution and was in train to provide it. Lack of communication within an organisation spiralled uncontrollably down the organisation and disabled many people along the way with brute communication and without any finesse. I did not want it to be brutal, but it turned out that way because of what I did. And it is not my way anymore, and it would not have happened had there been some resolution a year ago. Just because I know how to do these things, I find it hurtful to me to do it and it upsets me, at the same time other people are suffering because people just did not do the job they were asked to do.

And now, the question of how to build bridges back, I don't know if this is possible, because it means I have to get involved in another person's enterprise or organisation to make some suggestions which I know would help. Unfortunately, because of the conflict it is likely that any suggestions will fall on deaf ears, or worse, those who were not listening, my find themselves out of the job because of their incompetence. When I built organisations, people were trained and developed and they worked. And if people couldn't be trained or developed, we often found them another form of employment and made sure they left with their self-respect intact. Organisations don't work that way any more. It seems to me that much has been lost through years of neglect, and the denial of enterprise and government about their role in the shambles we experience.

So how do I keep my sanity under these circumstances? Of course the serenity prayer enables me to understand the limits of my can do and cannot do and keep on learning the wisdom to know the difference. At the same time, I do have a responsibility for anything I do and I am accountable. I am not undermined by failure to get something done, I learn the can do and cannot do. And often learn that old tactics and conflicts will hurt me more by doing them, than they will hurt anybody else, because they are not feeling the same way as me. Anyway, I don't need to torment myself with the incompetence I encounter daily. Or I would go mad, put myself up for election, and bang on in government about the incompetence of the world, whilst the world is looking at me and my actions and insanity!

Contingent on the current conditions today, all of the twelve steps in recovery work well. If I were able to upgrade my current conditions today, maybe I could upgrade my competence? I have learned that we need to greet each day and understand the current conditions, which will impact on my ability to be successful, average, medium and poor in relation to any of the steps. Emotional and spiritual: understanding and knowing my feelings in the moment of now, expressing my feelings in the moment of now is good. So-called negative feelings have a real impact on my thinking and actions. And if I ignore my feelings, I will not know what caused me to think and act in a particular way.

Yesterday we were sharing experience strength and hope around a particular issue: "keeping our side of the Street clean." In other words, being aware of ourselves and what we do in the moment of now. The more we are aware of our feelings, our thinking and our actions, the more likely we will tread carefully, not only down our side of the Street, we may pay attention to what's happening on the other side of the Street and how we may interact "with care" today. Some streets are best left never to be walked down again, and we learn where they are one day at a time.

DonInLondon 2004 - 2013

Alcoholics Anonymous | February 6 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 "Sanity" | "Admit and accept, be restored to sanity and be true to yourself." The first two steps of the twelve step program, offers the opportunity: "to thine own self be true," one day at a time. Fellowship suggests life is to be lived one day at a time. Which means the twelve principles or twelve steps can work today as I experience life today. I have not passed a test or become qualified so I can be forgetful. Life is not an examination, it is a state of being and being true to oneself is where it starts being better every day…

Meditation is not a long and complicated exercise, unless it needs to be! I remind myself when I wake up in the morning to admit and accept that I am an alcoholic in recovery from waking to going to bed tonight. I know I admitted and accepted my situation yesterday, and that's history, so it is quite simple to admit and accept powerless over alcohol and life gets unmanageable if I were to drink. And I also try to remind myself it is better to be powerless over the notion that I might control people, places and things and then I am right sizing myself for the day, an outlook of equality. And today, if I get mad as hell about something, I have the tools and the experiences to find I can be restored to sanity by pausing, reflecting, and if need be asking for help from anyone anywhere at any time today…

To thine own self be true, an emotional and spiritual outlook and way of being. If I can tell myself the truth, or simply try and understand what the truth of my situation is, before I start interacting with people, I know where I'm coming from. Truth, love and wisdom are the components, I'm looking for me to be open, honest and willing in my approach with whatever happens today. Emotional and spiritual truth: asking myself, how am I feeling, why and what can I do about it. That's half the truth of situations today, the other half of the truth is: how are you feeling, why, and what can you do about it. And if we put both halves of truth, together: how are we feeling, why and what can we do together offers better prospects all day long, living in the solution and not the problem today…

And if I find it hard to tell the truth to myself, because it can be a bit of a struggle, trying to understand the truth of other people means I must ask rather than guess. Why ask myself? How am I feeling, why and what to do: I need to know my mood right now and how it impacts on my thinking and the actions I might take. And by asking you about your feelings, why and what can we do together means I am looking with equality and empathy to what may happen today. If we know our feelings, the why of them, then we know how feelings impact on our joint thinking and joint action taking. If I am true to myself, there's a better chance of you being true to yourself and we both make the best of what can be happening today…

Why bother to check out the feelings? Emotional and spiritual is the real foundation of living, which motivates or becomes demotivation. Ignoring feelings and just working on the thinking level, means there is no understanding of where happiness is or can be today. When a person says, "job well done," the job might be done. That is the actions are done, that is unless we are to check out how we feel about it, we can be raging or serene and if nobody checks out what is going on, emotionally, there may be great big rifts in the reality and truth of now. The boss is happy, I'm not happy. The wife is happy, husband unhappy, or wife unhappy and husband, clueless as usual. To thine own self be true, means there can be progress and we are not trying to be perfect, simply living in the moment and life working the best it can be with feelings understood in the moment of now…

In our fellowship, anonymity, offers the opportunity to find out more about emotional and spiritual. And anonymity, a safe place to develop our understanding of what it means to be truthful about our feelings, our thinking and the actions we may intend to take. Fellowship is about unity, service and recovery, where we can find out more about what, "truth, love and wisdom," really are, as we live in the moment of now. Truthfully, learning my feelings, and even now I can be in denial about my feelings because they make me feel awkward some of the time. And the problem with feelings, we have many feelings which are quite different happening all at the same time about all the different things going on in our lives. A quick meditation about our overall mood, and the why of it can be very helpful in understanding why we think the way we do, and the actions we may be plotting to take today…

It is not unusual for people to feel murderous and homicidal, some situations will frustrate beyond reason. And that is why it is so important to understand feelings in the moment. Feelings are very real, and if we know what they are, we have time to pause, even if it's just a flash in the moment pause, to think about the consequences before we take action. What might seem reasonable emotionally is not always reasonable when we think about it, and certainly when rage and anger are turning our world upside down, we do need to pause and reflect, rather than with a reflex which might change everything in a split second, and then change life and the future. Forever vigilant on our mood, we see the impact on thinking and we can be more balanced in our actions. Just for today…

How am I feeling today? I feel better and rested after a few days of internal emotional disturbance. Sometimes I don't process my feelings in the moment, because there are many things impacting in one moment, and it takes time to sort out what I can and cannot do. And when I forget the serenity prayer, or the short version, "can do can't do and wisdom now is to…" Sometimes an emphatic no resolves the issue quickly. And when I utter a half-hearted yes to something, it means there is some reason why I don't want to do whatever it is I am agreeing to do. If I take my own advice about doing something when asked, "I really don't feel right about doing this" whatever it might be, I'm stopping myself from the half-hearted yes, which will trouble me for as long as it will trouble me to find the courage to say no, properly and most emphatically. And truthfully, an emphatic no will stop me. Spinning around with the half-hearted yes on your mind can spoil any day from start to finish and over and over until we let go the half-hearted yes. And get back to saying no!

Alcoholics Anonymous | February 6 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 "Sanity" | Today's AA daily reflection all about: "unity, service and recovery." Together in unity we share experience strength and hope, a common language of recovery. And knowing when we do service, simply by attending a meeting, being part of the service committee, putting out chairs, greeting, making tea… We work and believe in helping each other one day at a time.

My home group meeting: and a brilliant chair all about dealing with the wreckage of the past and emerging into a new way of life. "Not one of us is a failure!" I had never heard that before at the start of the meeting nor in my years in recovery. Many shared back exactly on that point, that life had been blighted by our own judgements about our own failures. Indeed in recovery we do learn that all experiences have great value if we understand the experience we are having. Forgiveness for oneself leads to forgiveness of others. Even at their worst, other people and ourselves are doing the best they can be in the moment of now…

"Don't do my thinking for me." A real reminder to me when I make suggestions to others not to judge them in what they might do next. If I try judge what another person thinks or feels, before finding out I can be very judgemental in any suggestion I might make them. Better to check out their thinking in relation to helping or simply being with them. The old adage "judge not lest you be judged" is key in recovery or we tread hard on the toes of our fellows…

The AA big book: written by people in recovery and restored to sanity on a daily basis. The big book, a starting point and a daily guide for anyone "under construction" today. It struck me last night that the AA big book is a work written by mad people for mad people, being restored to sanity and emotional and spiritual well-being just for a day. So easy to forget that sanity is restored on a daily basis with the help of powers greater than me…

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Kathleen Casey Theisen "Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it."

Bob Marley Born Today June 6 1945 "Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you’re riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts; put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!" "Bob Marley isn't my name. I don't even know my name yet."

Fellowship restores our faith in our courage to change ~ Mohandas Gandhi "A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history." -/- Every human being is a miracle...

A good day, learning simple small things, absorbed and happy in solitude, a meeting tonight felt good, all possible and sober today ~ William Faulkner "All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible." -/- Progress is delicious…

AA Daily: A RALLYING POINT ~ FEBRUARY 6, Therefore, Step Two is the rallying point for all of us. “Whether agnostic, atheist, or former believer, we can stand together on this Step. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33

I feel that A.A. is a God-inspired program and that God is at every A.A. meeting. I see, believe, and have come to know that A.A. works, because I have stayed sober today. I am turning my life over to A.A. and to God by going to an A.A. meeting. If God is in my heart and He speaks to me through other people, then I must be a channel of God to other people. I should seek to do His will by living spiritual principles and my reward will be sanity and emotional sobriety.

Step Two Video 12 And 12