Alcoholics Anonymous Videos | DonInLondon

Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | Feb 4 2004 - 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 2 "Sanity"

February 4 Video

DonInLondon February 4, 2014: the emotional and spiritual stuff of life. What can I do, what I cannot do on a daily basis. The inner voice inside me might suggest, "I can cope with this whatever it might be," or maybe "I cannot cope with that because it's too big to deal with all at once." A lot of people grieving around me for their lost loved ones. Some loved ones simply edging towards the end of life naturally, and some ending their lives through despair, desolation and a return to the old life of addiction. Natural causes versus unnatural causes ending life. Humans are not built nor are they emotionally equipped to deal with tragedy and big changes all at once. And yet we try by pushing away the feelings, and hoping the pain will go away. The pain of loss is immense when we love and have nowhere to express what is going on.

Emotional and spiritual, is learning how to cope with reality as it is in the moment of now. We can become more adept at understanding our feelings in the moment of now, and then if we are fortunate, being able to share these feelings. And especially when feelings appear to be to the negative, for example: anger, annoyance, contempt, disgust, irritation, anxiety, embarrassment, fear, helplessness, worry, doubt, envy, frustration, guilt, and shame, are just a few examples. Indeed experts would suggest powerlessness, being a negative and I feel it is one of the most positive things I learned over the last few years.

People labour under the impression that when somebody expresses negative feelings, they are undermining what would otherwise be a positive situation for other people. Try talking to a politician who gets angry under questioning. In the spirit of cooperation, try suggesting to a neighbour that it would be a good thing to turn the music down. Negative feelings cause negative feelings in other people. And when this happens, the hurt person, hurts the feelings of the other person, and then hurt people, hurt other people with their actions.

Negative feelings and negative impressions, are there to highlight our "emotional and spiritual" current condition has been upset in some way. And rather than consider negative feelings as not part of spiritual progress is really a mistake in our perceptions of what spiritual really is. Every feeling we have, is kicked off by our current circumstances, a memory of past times, or the consequences that might follow. If something goes wrong. This is all spiritual, in the moment of now, and the question is do we have to cope with it on our own, or can we get help, simply asking for help can be the start. Help often arrives late and not from the source that you might prefer. And this is when we need to cope, by expression and asking for help.

Our spiritual condition is contingent on the current conditions today, and anyone trying to make themselves bigger and more spiritual, is probably reinforcing their own issues around pride and ego, which hides the fear that they may be found out, or worse, their understanding of spiritual is incorrect and based on projecting themselves into some sort of hierarchy of learning. We can all be professors of our spiritual condition by expressing it, and coping in the moment of now or not! We learn the depths and breadth of spiritual through our feelings which work in the current conditions today. And what we learn is in the moment. Spirituality works under all conditions of good bad and ugly. And it is not about serenity being a constant in your life. Serenity is only possible when we are able to surrender to the truth of now, and learn how to cope with reality as it is and not some wishful notion beyond the majesty of reality today.

Of course I could be wrong, and I hope that if I am wrong, maybe someone can help me find the right answers today. At the moment, the only dilemmas I have are about daily maintenance personally, and sharing a message of experience strength and hope. Looking after myself, asking the simple questions around: H A L T, hungry or angry, lonely or tired or any combination. If this is true, time to get to a meeting or at least plan to get to a meeting in good time. This is how it works in the moment of now, creating a foundation to surrender to the truth of life as it is. And the free choices which have are contingent on the current conditions, and are on offer one day at a time.

DonInLondon 2004 - 2013

Alcoholics Anonymous | February 4 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 "Sanity" | "where is my higher power, if its not inside me? And why can I be part of the higher power solution for other people?" So often we think we know the answers, and we know what the solutions ought to be. And we find that the rest of the world is not cooperating and does not understand how reasonable we are in our demands… And why can I help other people and find it so difficult to help myself?

A lot of the time, we have life experience which leads us to expectations and conclusions based on all the things that have happened in the past. Recovery is about breaking the old patterns, the old expectations and the old resentments coming back to haunt us. Dealing with human beings needs to start with humility, equality and how to access their power to help with the issues we face. If we demand, we shut down our options to the demand. We make life impossible for ourselves, and we make life impossible for those from whom we seek help and support. "Can you help me please?" Rather than, "I need you to help me, I want you to help me, and declaring a need and want is not asking it is telling someone. When we are telling people things that they need or should do for us, we take away their power and most likely create resentment in them about our wants and needs...

Dealing with people in this world is being treated as we would expect them to treat us, or is it? How do we get the best out of ourselves and other people in any situation? By asking with humility and equality. Resentments come quickly when the world does not react and respond as quickly as we feel it ought to do. We are no different to anyone else on the planet. And sometimes we are in a queue, and sometimes people just don't have the power to help us. Even though they may have the power to help us, we can shut that power down very quickly by our attitudes and our behaviour. Past experience may drive expectations and therefore resentments under construction, so we start negative and make everything around us negative, and we have this ability ingrained very deeply when the world has been knocking us to pieces over the years…

Today's solution! Can you help me please, I don't know what you can do and what you can't do. I would really like to know what you can do, and especially know the cannot do bit, so I can find the right help from the right people in the right place. And when we get a solution, it will not be perfect, and it will not be to the standard that we might expect, reality is living life on life's terms, not to an expectation you have formed of people, places and things. The more you expect them to fail. You will make the problem bigger, because you will want and demand the impossible, that being the perfect solution, which suits you! Go with the flow, ask for help and accept it, and then work on the next bit and ask for help, and work on the next bit and ask for help…

Step two is all about doing the same old same old, and expecting a perfect result. When it all failed in the past, it made you fear the next outcome, and then fear drives our demands and wants which can never be resolved to your high standards. Ask yourself how good you have been in delivering the solutions you promised, and how perfect were they? How many times have you let other people down, and if you look closely at your own behaviour and what you are doing today, how much of the old same old same old, are you doing right now? Try something new, ask for help with humility, not to catch people out, to just find out what they can do and what is in their power to do, and then you power them up to do it in the time that they can. It will never happen perfectly when it comes to people, places and things, because life is developing and it is far from perfect, it is: imperfectly perfect in the ever present, present moment of now…

Can I be part of the higher power? The simple answer is yes and no. Depending on my attitudes and behaviour, I can help people when they ask, and I have the necessary experience to suggest something and share wisdom. I need to make sure my wisdom is solution based, and not making the problem bigger by joining in with the problem and say how bad life is. Suggestions which work our positive and are from our experience of doing new things. When people say that our power works through people, they are right, and we can be part of the solution. When we are helping our fellows we need understand the positive actions and suggestions we can make to improve outcomes. I am not the higher power, but sometimes I am part of a power greater, far greater than me...

I was watching a TV documentary on quantum physics yesterday, which suggests every atom in the universe is connected to every other atom in the universe. Over the lifetime of the universe, it is likely that every atom does connect in some way with another atom. Quantum physics can define and predict when these connections will be made, which in some cases is far longer than the existing universe has been around. The good news for human beings, we are nearer together, and far more connected day-to-day, than all the atoms in the universe, so we don't have to wait for billions of years to get help. A bit like quantum physics, quantum humans are closer and are available if we ask for help in the right way at the right time and in the right place… All we have is today…

Alcoholics Anonymous | February 4 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 "Sanity" | Today's AA daily: "when faith is missing." Faith was certainly missing from my life from the very beginning. No understanding of God, or simply mistrust of anything religious. And an understanding driven home by real-life that hard work, doing the right thing and standing on my own two feet would lead to success. Coming into recovery, I had no blame attached to anyone but me for my predicament. In early days, the evidence that sobriety was possible started a process of developing a faith of my own understanding. And I began to trust in others in recovery…

Courage and confidence took a while to develop in my early days. Paranoid and fearful and always looking over my shoulder kept me wanting and completely unnerved day by day. Trusting other people, who were on the same journey one day at a time, to remain sober and participate started me on the road with faith. Faith in people and learning to trust was key. And I also needed to realise that as I was fallible so others were fallible too, prone to make mistakes and at the same time learn from them. Progress in learning and having enough courage and confidence helped me start to understand what faith can be for me…

I know the notion of faith is laden with personal beliefs, usually of a religious nature. The nature of personal religious beliefs is what it is for each individual and to be respected in my opinion. Today I have faith to be a learner about all aspects of life including religion, living day by day in a practical way and developing an understanding of how to live and cope one day at a time. I have faith in people, and faith that doing the next right thing if I know it will improve my situation. If I don't know the answer, I have faith that others may and if none of us know the answer, working together we may discover the best path available wherever it may lead. And of course we learn and we can change direction learning what we can and cannot do today…

All the steps in our programme are about being open, honest and willing to change. And change is part of the bedrock of living one day at a time. It is okay not to know the answers and it is okay to be learning life every day. And if I become fearful, hide behind a brave face and try and tough out situations my faith, courage and confidence is undermined by me. Better people know when I need help and asking for help is key at any time in any day…

Many people say, "God works through people" and after years of being a sceptic, I find no argument with this understanding today…

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

"I gotta have faith?" I had no faith at all in the final days of my drinking. And in AA it took a while for me to believe and trust that people in fellowship were really sober one day at a time. Today I trust the majority in fellowship, have learned to share my truth. Secrets kept me stuck, truth sets me free. Faith in truth and the majority of good people keep me sober. And tolerance for those who are still stuck most of the time...

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in our world by mistake. Until I could accept my humanity, I could not be complete in living; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

AA Daily: WHEN FAITH IS MISSING ~ FEBRUARY 4, Sometimes A.A. comes harder to those who have lost or rejected faith than to those who never had any faith at all, for they think they have faith and found it wanting. They have tried the way of faith and the way of no faith. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28

I was so sure God had failed me that I became ultimately defiant, though I knew better, and plunged into a final drinking binge. My faith turned bitter and that was no coincidence. Those who once had great faith hit bottom harder. It took time to rekindle my faith, though I came to A.A. I was grateful intellectually to have survived such a great fall, but my heart felt callous. Still, I stuck with the A.A. program; the alternatives were too bleak! I kept coming back and gradually my faith was resurrected.

Step Two Video 12 And 12