Alcoholics Anonymous Videos | DonInLondon

Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | Feb 14 2004 - 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 2 "Sanity"

February 14 Video

DonInLondon February 14, 2014: step two month: "came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." Unconditional love and Valentine's Day! In the olden days, extreme desires to get it right for Valentine's Day required quite a lot of effort in the romantic materialistic departments. Whenever I was in love on Valentine's Day, well for the girl who had already captured my heart, she knew flowers, lingerie, dinner and copious amounts of alcohol, followed by natural instincts gone wild was normal. These days, I reckon it’s better to ask and negotiate and understand what is needed and desired under the banner of unconditional love. One ingredient not to be included in recovery is obvious and unnecessary one day at a time. And everything else, as nature and inclination intends!

Valentine's Day is not a time for early recovery and being restored to sanity to collide in some dangerous fashion. As we emerge in recovery, romance and natural inclinations and natural instincts tend to make humility key in all activities. Humility! Very agreeable to start learning life afresh and without the madness. There is nothing wrong with nature, and there is nothing wrong with natural instincts, at the same time we realise through humility, whatever is going to happen will be by agreement hopefully and not elaborate plans where our unwelcome surprises might make this romantic day, full of the old insanity and nonsense which has nothing to do with love and unconditional love is key.

With step one, powerless over people places and things, helps me realise that I might have a notion, an idea, a fantasy, or even a realistic proposal, all of which is unwanted without asking whoever is concerned. It certainly isn't all about my way, and if I don't relate and share, the likelihood of plans made without finding out the needs and wants of others, is a plan for disaster and rejection. There are good reasons to plan a surprise to the good of living, providing we take account of the feelings and needs of other people involved. Life is a two way Street, it is more than that, it is about proposals, negotiation, seeking out the truth and surrendering to the truth, rather than an elaborate dream which has no foundation in reality. Yes we need to dream, and have plans for the future, and they need foundation, and without foundation, heartbreak, anger and resentment are likely in ourselves and those we subject to our incomprehensible intentions.

The good news: being powerless over people places and things, takes the heat off trying to get things right before events. Our natural instincts kick in, in recovery and there is nothing wrong with that. It may take some time for all our faculties to be restored naturally rather than restored to vanity. Nobody wants to be restored to vanity do they? Vanity is wanting, sanity is reality. And the good news about reality is we naturally find our balance and fun again. The only thing I might mention in my case at my advanced age there is a song which is helpful, "thanks for the memories." And sanity in reality is all about what we can and cannot do today. There is life in the old dog yet, sometimes the old dog needs to plan ahead in some departments or nothing is going to happen today. And if anything was going to happen, it would be by agreement and with excitement in the moment of now! We all have to laugh at ourselves and the changes that happen with time and as nature allows and determines today.

So these days Valentine's Day is not about elaborate planning in order to get a result my way. Every day is a recovery day, and recovery requires understanding, agreement, sharing and including, rather than staging an event? Again surprises, they may be welcome if that is an understanding between all parties. And the party can continue, because in reality, everything today can and will be better than a fantasy on a one-way street. Unconditional love means we trust, and we learn to trust through actions, rather than intention, because the intention maybe really unwelcome. All part of life's learning in the reality of now. So step one helps in all aspects of living, step two keeps us on the road of recovery and sanity and reality is far better. And step three, let go and surrender to the truth of now, and not just my outlook which is bedevilled by my own opinions and attitudes. Surrendering to the truth of now is going to be far better because whatever happens we are sharing and including each other today.

What sort of day can I have today? I can have a step six day for the defects: this is where pride ego and fear are evoked by the current conditions, and the seven deadly sins could be activated. Or I can have a step seven day where I work on my shortcomings: step seven shortcomings are about lack of courage to change, lack of faith in the next right thing, and no confidence to have a go and share the truth of now. The answer in all this, is to have courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and develop confidence, by sharing and asking rather than assuming and presuming. The current conditions of the day, will impact on me, truthfully, I am not expecting any valentines so no resentments under construction in my life in the moment of now and all day long. Happy as a clam at the bottom of the sea, rather than a clam at a clambake, hot and bothered and scared I might get eaten up in the moment of now. Nothing wrong with nature and natural instincts, we are all learning what they are, and together, we do better, rather than trying to work it out and produce something unwanted in any moment of now.

DonInLondon 2004 - 2013

Alcoholics Anonymous | February 14 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 "Sanity" | "all the steps today…" One: I am powerless over alcohol and a drink won't help. Two: restored to sanity just for a day with powers greater than me. Three: work hard and do my part, and let go and ask for help and perspective. Four: my personal inventory of strengths and weaknesses. Five: open up and share with another human being. Everything! Six: Vices, knowing my extremes of behaviour can be there every day. Seven: working to the good of life, virtues are good. Eight: made a list of amends and willing to make them. Nine: making the amends without doing any harm to others. Ten: daily personal appraisal or in the moment, checking what I'm up to, my behaviour. Eleven: prayer and meditation, and how we do this is personal choice. Twelve: emotional and spiritual living in the moment of now and helping others... All about keeping my side of the Street clean, open with honesty and willingness to change…

All the steps in one: The first six steps are recognising the old life, what happened and where we are today. Sweeping our side of the Street clean. The next six steps, all about the new life, making sure we know our personal values are to be open, honest and willing to change. That we can live life one day at a time, we can still have aspirations and live happily without alcohol, and most importantly, absolutely we find freedom to live life with the ability and experience of how to love people, how to be loved back by people, which is very difficult sometimes, and find useful endeavours which are appropriate and right for us and possible as we explore opportunities one day at a time. We become free to choose life sober, and then we have adventures today. We are not immune to the good, bad and ugly of life, we live it and feel it in the moment of now. At least that is my choice today...

And today as I remind myself all about the steps and what they do for me. My morning reflections as I woke up early, I have had enough sleep in one go. Which is great for me, sleeping for six hours in a row! And when I ask myself as part of my morning routine, how am I feeling? I feel okay, and I can be me today. I do not have to pretend anything or worry about what people think of me. How am I feeling? Why? And what to do. As life feels good, and I feel rested and not exhausted, I am open honest and willing this morning... This morning, a gentle reminder of step one is good, powerless over alcohol: and I don't wish to be powerful over anything, especially people, places and things. Experiencing life as it is and not trying to control it, or others, simply the journey of now. And step two, I don't feel the old insanities of addiction, trying to hang on to the remnants of the past. And letting go the notion that I must do everything and show the world, my capacity to be me without help. Step three, the higher power of your understanding, your personal beliefs are imperative, and I understand God in my life to be: truth, love and wisdom in the moment of now, and every experience that got me to where I am with the help of the universe. The power of God works through people, the right people, and there are plenty like me, still learning the wisdom of now, with help and asking for help, openly and truthfully today… I can ask for help and I am happy to do so, the more I learn and experience, I realise there is so much more I will never know, emotional and spiritual, able to cope in the moment of now. And when I cannot, I ask for help… It only takes a few moments to remind myself I am simply part of the big picture and the big picture is always bigger than me…

I know that I can keep on an even keel most of the time, even when life is difficult. Things happen and we wonder why is it always happening to me? The bad and the ugly bits! Simply the answer is we all get, the bad and ugly bits. And we learn and keep on learning as life goes on, and knowing that we can ask for help, it changes everything as we come to understand how step six is the old life of peril, where our behaviour becomes extreme and unhelpful, and step seven helps us to approach life differently, with courage, faith in the next right thing and confidence that the outcomes will be as good as they can be in the moment of now. Once we understand reality, everything is much easier because we realise what we can do and what we cannot do and the wisdom to know the difference. Every day we will find things difficult some of the time and absolutely wonderful some of the time… Reality, it really is the best place to be when our feelings or emotional connection is right and we are able to see the truth of our situation with people, places and things…

If these twelve steps did not work, developing me as a human being, to be able to experience the reality of now, feelings working in the moment and reality to be lived, I would not write, or share the experience, strength and hope that fellowship gives me today. Simply, human beings being human together, sharing the truth as best we can, and knowing even when people are at their very worst, they are the best they can be right now. I see newcomers coming into fellowship, confused beyond belief. And I do feel the pain when I was a newcomer, but it is not the same pain felt by new person shocked into reality one day at a time…

Telephones! Having been excited to upgrade my mobile phone into the enlightened age of connected to everything, it does not work very well. The reason being me, I need to read the instructions, set it up correctly and really study how to make it work. It is an endeavour which will take me more than one day, because I have other interests and other things to do. And as long as it works as a telephone which it does not yet seem to do, life will be restored to ordinary. In olden days, I would have been tearing out the little hair that I have! These days. Nothing is that urgent, unless it is about people and how to help. And that comes first always in my recovery today…

Alcoholics Anonymous | February 14 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 "Sanity" | Today's AA daily reflection: "expectations versus demands" and as is often said in Fellowship, "expectations are resentments under construction." This does not mean that we lose sight of aspirations and ambition, it simply means we are more realistic about what we can and cannot do. And we concentrate and live in the present moment, striving and trudging the happy or sad, loving and sometimes painful road of destiny…

I met a friend yesterday as I was leaving hospital after some tests which needed to be done, routine tests and not worrying tests. An impromptu meeting of minds as we were both concerned about newcomers we have been supporting over the last few days. Both of us wanted to be the best we could be for the newcomer and both newcomers had somehow managed to escape us and our good deeds… We accepted the situation and left the door open to support and help if the newcomers chose and that was what they wanted…

A Fellowship meeting mid-morning, a newcomers meeting. A wonderful chair by someone I know sharing just how it was in the malady of drink and what it was like now in recovery some years on. The chair all about realistic living today and not about what they thought life ought to be and what they deserved. The expectation was life would be difficult sober and the experience of living reality must be cherished as people are to be cherished and not treated with superficiality and indifference…

I had a couple of "AA chips" in my pocket, just for today chips and gave them to two newcomers in the meeting. On one side of the chip it says "one day at a time" and on the other side, the serenity prayer. I can often forget just how valuable it was to receive a token and reminder in the form of an "AA chip" and what it meant to me. It meant I need simply be sober today and I would learn what I can do and what I cannot do just for this one day…

"Trust God and clean house" often made me feel that I was a second-class citizen, because I had no concept of God or higher power. It seemed like I could stumble on the first two steps of the twelve step program. When I looked at it in a slightly different way, "trust in the good and support I get from other people and learn what it means to clean house on a daily basis" I began a journey of progress and not perfection…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Powerless over people places and things can drive us mad! Sigmund Freud Every normal person, in fact, is only normal on the average. His ego approximates to that of the psychotic in some part or other and to a greater or lesser extent. -/- Resentments and anger are dubious luxuries for everyone

Desiderata ~ "Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul." "Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 98 ~ Dealing with expectations is a frequent topic at meetings! Expectations are resentments under construction. I have heard and said this many times. Every morning I set my expectations to zero, so I may feel okay by the progress I make today in any or every endeavour...

"Lest we forget" at Flood St. The reading was the "spiritual experience" followed by a great chair. What is spiritual? "A dose of reality," or "the ability to cope with today." It may involve faith, God, or as simple as seeing the truth right now. Spiritual is unique and authentic as life is, living the truth, coping with reality and finding serenity in the moment. We work with what works today...

AA Daily Reflection: AA Daily Reflection: EXPECTATIONS vs. DEMANDS FEBRUARY 14, Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 98

Dealing with expectations is a frequent topic at meetings. It isn’t wrong to expect progress of myself, good things from life, or decent treatment from others. Where I get into trouble is when my expectations become demands. I will fall short of what I wish to be and situations will go in ways I do not like, because people will let me down sometimes. The only question is: “What am I going to about it?” Wallow in self-pity or anger; retaliate and make a bad situation worse; or will I trust in God’s power to bring blessings on the messes in which I find myself? Will I ask Him what I should be learning; do I keep on doing the right things I know how to do, no matter what; do I take the time to share my faith and blessings with others?

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

Step Two Video 12 And 12