Alcoholics Anonymous Videos | DonInLondon

Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | Feb 21 2004 - 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 2 "Sanity"

February 21 Video

DonInLondon February 21, 2014: step two month: "came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." We hope to see a person at a meeting, and then they aren't there. There may be a thousand reasons why not, sometimes just hope it's not one particular reason and a return to insanity. It takes everyone in Fellowship to keep a single newcomer on the path of recovery, that is how it worked for me. Many times, hoping to meet the right people, I learned that the right people are always in a meeting, its how they make us feel: good bad or ugly. And knowing the good, bad and ugly is the key in emotional and spiritual life. Feelings working in the moment of now.

Over the last few days, all the meetings I have attended taught me something about me. Mainly: to be a learner in the moment of now. It is okay to have beliefs and opinions, but they are no better often than anybody else's. So does it matter? Not wishing to control anybody anywhere, at the same time, aware of my surroundings. I can walk a safe path, a risky path, or a downright hazardous path. I went skiing once, and still a novice, I went down a black run by mistake. The skis simply turned and down I went, so steep trying to do a snowplough was not the answer. I had a horrible crash and a bad headache the days. These days, I don't know which path I am on until it starts, and because I am more self-aware, navigation is far easier on the emotional and spiritual path today. I retired from skiing.

This morning was a brilliant meeting, indeed, the sun shone in as well. And sitting in a circle, a large number of people sharing their experience, strength and hope. We learn from each other, even if we don't think or have a lot in our mind, listening to other people immediately offers perspective. Newcomers, middle timers, and old-timers, day timers, actually is not about the time, it's the fact that we are all in the same room in the same moment. I realise that some of us were stuck in thoughts about the past, fears about the future. And by the end of the meeting those able to listen were definitely in the moment. I feel my perspective has been improving all week, even though physically it's been a bugger!

A bit of sunshine does make a big difference first thing in the morning, and there is more light when I set off to a very near destination every day. Been a long time since I could manoeuvre and get out in quite a few days in a row. So I have a lot of gratitude for the sunshine, but not so much for the bus, which deliberately set off quickly in front of me when I was trying to cross a road with my bicycle and my groceries. If it had not been for two young women, who came to my rescue, all my shopping would be squished by the big bus. One young woman on a bike stopped to help. And another young woman currently engaged in road sweeping, their help was much appreciated by me. My pride and ego and fear did not rise up at all, being helped by two gorgeous women is one of the perks of being an old git these days. Happy to be me in the moment of now, courage, faith and confidence and willing to accept help. One day at a time.

And still, even though my day started well, I still have concern for the newcomer who I missed this morning. Hopefully we shall meet another day, and it is about hope when we have no idea and no power over people, places and things.

DonInLondon 2004 - 2013

Alcoholics Anonymous | February 21 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 "Sanity" | "anonymity provides me and you with sanctuary to learn the truth. Truth, love and wisdom is my spiritual connection in the moment of now…" Being restored to sanity on a daily basis, contingent on my ability to live to the truth, keep on learning how to love and keep on learning how to be loved and the wisdom to know the difference. By the moment, minute, hour and for today… Anonymity, providing sanctuary to learn all about truth, love and wisdom in fellowship…

Anonymity provides sanctuary, to share experience, strength and hope, without the world looking on to judge, judging good, bad and ugly as more is revealed, about how to live in recovery today. A safe place, a haven and a place where people can respect what has happened, what is happening and how the twelve steps improve our sobriety and way of life. And common ground, common sense and gumption are what the twelve steps are all about. We learn by sharing our own experience, strength and hope. And also listening to others share their experience, strength and hope. And when we feel vulnerable, feel judged, and might be the subject of gossip, gossip kills people. Dealing with the disease, a killer malady, when we make light of our situation which we often do, we do not see the harm that can be caused by gossip inside and outside fellowship meetings and groups. Oscar Wilde said, “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” This is not true in recovery, gossip definitely undermines and can ruin lives…

Anonymity is a personal choice in recovery. And absolutely, respectful and accepting of personal choices, means that some of us choose anonymity, and some of us choose to share our situation wherever we feel is right. Sometimes there is no anonymity because the problem is so obvious to everyone, when we become sober, it is also obvious we have done something about our malady. The choices around anonymity will always be personal. At the same time it is not for anyone to impose their own personal judgements about anonymity on another person in fellowship. Within meetings, clearly anonymity is sanctuary. The before meeting in the coffee shop, the meeting after the meeting, where everything is held, is not that anonymous! And it is not for one individual, to tell another individual how to conduct their lives outside fellowship... Freedom to choose always…

Fellowship is not a one stop shop for all the maladies which impact on individuals in sobriety. Fellowship is for sober, twelve steps and twelve traditions. Steps: to learn how to be open, honest and willing to change and live sober one day at a time. Traditions: to be able to function in unity, service and recovery. Other significant emotional ailments often emerge as individuals get sober, and anyone in fellowship knows this is true. We all learn what works as a higher power to keep sober today, and again this is personal learning, by experience and not by setting rules and regulations and making the big book of AA into a Bible and making God, a standard defined God. The AA big book works, because it describes how many people have learned how to be sober, and the reason why there are many people quoted and shared in the book, it is because of the diversity and individuality of each person in fellowship. If we stay around long enough in the fellowship, we hear the components of our own story from many sources and not just one source. The higher power works because it is the many, and the many diverse stories which are true for each individual that help us work out how to be sober ourselves one day at a time…

I am simply one voice in recovery, and it is always the many voices which provide the support to help one person. If you start to believe that one person can save you from yourself, you are relying on a human being who may be attractive in many ways because of their experience strength and hope, but they are not the higher power. We are all part of the higher power today. And although some may have found their way to be sober, it might be completely wrong for you. On the other hand, listening to a meeting and a group, you may find overwhelming truth coming your way from many sources and many people. There is always a concern around sponsorship, putting people on pedestals and making people gurus. In my experience, the truth, love and wisdom is always in the many people and a higher power of God or good conscience manifests through the experience, strength and hope shared on a daily basis. The lower power, the insidious power of ego is always present in meetings, the individual who quotes something from the big book or their own experience. And then tries to impose their lower power on another person or the many. If you don't like what someone is saying and it does not fit with your reality, better to check with many people rather than the CONVINCING exponent of the selective truth: those who are exponents of the selective truth are usually those with ego, a personal agenda about control and manipulation, some people call such individuals contemptible liars…

How do I feel today? I feel okay and my emotional and spiritual condition? Emotionally, I feel content and confident in sharing the truth of who I am. I do not feel quite so good about those who would shut me up and stop me from being myself. And, and this is about people in fellowship who feel that they have the right to judge me and my outlook. At the same time I would not be judged, if I was silent and contained by some fiction about rules and regulations. We learn to trust to the truth of life. The truth of life is always changing in the moment of now, as we keep learning and we keep being open, honest and willing. Over the years, and not as many years as other people in fellowship, I am learning what emotional and spiritual is to me. Emotional and spiritual, living to the truth of now and how it is developing moment to moment and being able to feel life and experience life as it is, rather than how other people might feel it ought to be. So I will be judged, and some people will feel that I am disobedient to them because they want to impose their view on me. If the view was right, I would adopt it, and as long as I keep to the truth of life, my spiritual development and being able to listen with humility and change with humility is always going to be my preferred way forward… Anonymity is sanctuary, truth, love and wisdom is my spiritual one day at a time…

Alcoholics Anonymous | February 21 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 "Sanity" |

Today's AA daily reflection: "we are part of something bigger than us again!" The horror at the end of my drinking, isolated and alone and hoping that after each bout of drinking I would not wake up was a constant way of thinking. And only when I thought it could get no worse and I was still alive did I realise that being at the end of my drinking life was the start and opportunity to join in life again with nothing and no expectations or attitude of deserving anything. Being able to join a Fellowship which could help me be included in life again made me feel suspicious and hopeful and doubtful, with just a glimmer of a chance…

If I haven't heard early on, "take the cotton wool out of your ears and put it in your mouth" I doubt I would have listened and kept on listening to what was going on. From a small glimmer to a bright light took a while in my recovery. And the idea of a higher power being the wisdom of the many sharing experience strength and hope in the rooms of AA took hold. If they could recover, I could and all I needed to do was join in and get to bed each day without a drink...

Society seems to have taught us how to judge each other and form prejudice in all manner of human activities. Addiction and alcoholism is often seen as a self-inflicted wound by those who do not have it, whatever the addiction and worse by those who do have it and cannot get out of it. Self-prejudice kills most people, and self-prejudice stops us from getting help when we most need it. Those most afflicted are often the harshest critics before recovery. And society still makes people feel shameful and guilty about illness…

If I could have pulled myself together, I would have…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Restored and included in fellowship we are connected in all elements of life ~ Albert Schweitzer "Love… includes fellowship in suffering, in joy and in effort." -/- We need work it, to be worth it, a balance in humility and esteem…

Out of isolation into inclusion, a shock to our outlook, we are part of life again ~ Albert Schweitzer "We don't live in a world all our own. Our brothers and sisters are here, too." -/- It was never all about me…

Unity, service and recovery, we can be a part of living ~ Emily Dickinson "If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, I shall not live in vain." -/- No one human more or less important than another, lest we forget...

Spiritual encompasses all elements of living in reality ~ Simone de Beauvoir "One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, and compassion." -/- We are responsible, when anyone, anywhere reaches out for help...

I do need to lean on the many in fellowship, and get help outside the fellowship when I am out of my depth. Experience has taught me the limits of what I can and cannot do. In fellowship as a nonprofessional and as a citizen in daily life, when there is an emergency, we call emergency services and apply first aid as we may be trained...

AA Daily Reflection: I'M PART OF THE WHOLE ~ FEBRUARY 21, At once, I became a part-if only a tiny part-of a cosmos…. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 225

When I first came to A.A., I decided that “they” were very nice people-perhaps a little naive, a little too friendly, but basically decent, earnest people (with whom I had nothing in common). I saw “them” at meetings -after all, that was where “they” existed. I shook hands with “them” and, when I went out the door, I forgot about “them.” Then one day my Higher Power, whom I did not then believe in, arranged to create a community project outside of A.A., but one which happened to involve many A.A. members. We worked together, I got to know “them” as people. I came to admire “them,” even to like “them” and, in spite of myself, to enjoy “them.” “Their” practice of the program in their daily lives-not just talk at meetings -attracted me and I wanted what they had. Suddenly the “they” became “we.” I have not had a drink since.

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."