Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | Feb 28 2004 - 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 2 "Sanity"
DonInLondon February 28, 2014: step two month: "came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." Sanity! We are all capable of feeling mad at the world, the world is unjust, and if only the world was the way we want it. Alone and on my own, I can come to all sorts of conclusions which are right in my head and completely wrong for you and everyone else. Sanity, is about the big picture and everything, and this comes about by listening and experiencing your feelings and your thinking and the actions you take one day at a time.
I feel very good about the words spoken over the last few days by other people. How easy it is to be drawn into situations where we feel the need to keep the world out of our heads. When we feel under pressure and cannot be ourselves, our pride, ego and fear can be all-consuming as we put all our energy into putting on a brave face and trying to be something to other people, when inside, our perspective is quite different. Putting on a brave face to the world requires more energy to cover up feelings, more energy into thinking about the image we are creating because we are fearful of the consequences if people know what is really going on inside our minds. Huge amounts of energy to cover up our feelings, huge amounts of energy into thinking what we ought to be rather than who we are in reality today.
We often find ourselves in situations which are not of our choice. Sometimes we pretend to those we love, that everything is okay, sometimes we put on a brave face with family. We find ourselves in a job which to everyone else seems good, and the money rolls in, and our feelings inside are numbed or angry or resentful because it's not what we wanted. And yet we persist because we are successful. And even was a success has no meaning. Relationships, aspirations and anything is always impacted by the current conditions today, and sometimes we feel completely bound by those conditions and simply want to be free. Surrendering to this truth, surrendering to the truth of now about what is going on inside will make it easier to explain to those around us when we need to change direction and get right with the truth. To thine own self be true? Yes, and ultimately we are then true with the world.
I spent a lot of years working in industries which I would not have chosen had life been different. Family finances when I was young were always a problem. No different to any other family I am guessing. And the pressure to go out to work and earn to keep a roof over our heads became the necessity for me and my siblings and my mother too. My dad went bankrupt, and looking back, I'm sure he had a nervous breakdown. I don't think my dad expected that we would give up our dreams and aspirations and go out to work simply for the wage, but we did because we could see the need to do our part in family. And the problem is, driven by money and driven to succeed are really good qualities even when we find ourselves successful in the wrong industry, in the wrong career and covering up to the point of having no clue what to do. No amount of success brings happiness if we are embedded, and going in a direction not of our choosing. Unravelling that mess, has taken years of forgiveness and the perspective only time and the wisdom of years allows.
Bill Wilson was right when he suggested we need to get right with ourselves, and in his case get right with God. And those words impact on me greatly, because to get right with myself is about truth, and to get right with God? Understanding how the group conscience works within the fellowship, opened the door to me understanding that God is truth, the universal truth in the moment of now, expressed by everyone and not just me. In other words to get right with myself, I need to be plugged in and connected to the universal truth of now. The big picture, by listening and being part of the world, be it family, community, society, wherever universal truth prevails.
Every single person is challenged and a part of a bigger picture. Who we are and what we do to survive and prosper is all about making the best of our current conditions today. The world is full of good, bad and ugly, all the time. And that's life. The emotional and spiritual journey is how we deal with life and actually live it. Emotional: our primary desire is to love, be loved back and find endeavours which suit our purpose. It does not matter to me any more about material success, what matters most is the relationships I have based on truth, love and the continuing wisdom which comes through experience, strength and hope of living. No energy required to put on a brave face, no energy being put into pride, ego and fear. But I'm sure life will provide further energy into those particular characteristics in me, because life will throw difficult situations my way.
If I am true to myself and share the truth of me, simply making progress, the amount of energy which goes into courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and having the confidence to be me is far more positive and powerful than the negative of fear, pride and ego. People can like me for who I am rather than a pretender. I can like myself and be free to choose the path which is open to me. I have no clue where the path leads and this is the freedom, I don't fear life any more.
The emotional and spiritual journey continues because of fellowship, because of what people share and how they help me through my difficult times, and sharing the good times. One day at a time? Always in the moment of now, everything can change or nothing changes. If I step back into my old life, or my old ways? I hope not, just for today.
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DonInLondon 2004 - 2013
Alcoholics Anonymous | February 28 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 "Sanity" "tolerance and love in fellowship, tolerance and love outside fellowship?" What is tolerance and love mean to me? Sometimes I sum it up like this, "I love you, and at the same time, I hate your behaviour!" Inside fellowship, or outside fellowship, we can love people and really detest their behaviour. And similarly, I don't want you to agree with me for the sake of a peaceful life, I need you to thoroughly follow your own path in sobriety, or I am doomed as well...
Fellowship is a place of safety, anonymity, providing a sanctuary to find out how to live life sober, open, willing and honest to seek out the truth, love and wisdom in the moment of now. We can be attracted to bright shiny stories, of romance and finance and where wealth leads to excess and excess leads to addiction. And sometimes people mistake self-esteem for ego, self-esteem where growing confidence helps find the truth, and ego makes the truth unmanageable and a wallow in the mud and murk of old glories. Sometimes people do geographical moves to find peace, fall in and out of relationships, hoping to be saved, and sometimes see the weakness in another and prey on them, and it is all part of learning life in the moment of now…
I often say the same things over and over again, not to expect a different result in my own life, to share how it works in fellowship. And sometimes I hear and sometimes I sense the animosity from other people and I am really okay when others exude their disapproval. How often do I hear the same old same old said by other people? The pursuit of happiness contingent on getting down on your knees and praying for something you cannot have? And I will be okay, when I get to that place of golden serenity? It's not like that in the real world, the real world which God created, the real world where God offers some an expectation beyond their ability to achieve. And if you are asking God for your entitlements or a softer easier way, not only do you let God down, you let down yourself and live in fear of failure. God-Given: truth, love and wisdom in the moment of now, and sometimes we need ask for help to understand the truth, love and wisdom of now…
I do believe the serenity prayer is one of the best meditations. But the problem, its serenity and how we understand it, which always seems to leave people wanting and not experiencing serenity. Serenity is not hanging on to the last breath in the company of people, places and things which are bad for us, nor is it hanging on to something we cannot control, namely people, places and things! Serenity is acceptance of the status quo, the good, bad and ugly of it, truly understanding what we can do and what we cannot do, and if there are things we cannot do ask for help. And having asked for help if we still cannot achieve those entitlements and expectations that you have in your head about life, is it not time to let them go?
Fellowship is a mixture of many different beliefs in many different people, many different opinions in many different people, many different affiliations in many different people, and many different alliances in many different people. Fellowship is not about a herd mentality, where you have to believe certain things in order to be sober. If that were the case we would have a herd of sober people in sobriety. If anything, what makes our fellowship strong is the diversity and difference, and one simple common purpose to be sober. And because there are so many different ways of being sober and living sober with twelve step principles and freedom to choose your life and your path, whatever you do, do not follow my path, because it is mine. And you can fuck off to your own path if you don't mind. Every single day! I don't want you to be like me, I need you to be you, above all, and if you disagree with me, I am so pleased and respectful, but don't expect me to follow your path either...
Recovering alcoholics are not sheep, but there are people in fellowship who would like you to be a sheep. Some however, do have outstanding characteristics around following the bright and shiny, but the bright and shiny often are shallow and just thoroughly following somebody else. When I listen to people who are awaiting serenity and expecting serenity, to have a deep glow, probably golden, if you're waiting for it, it isn't going to happen. Serenity and acceptance are active in the moment of now, and if you are in active awaiting the arrival, you might as well wait for hell to freeze over. Because that's where you are in hell awaiting the arrival of serenity. Serenity is a state of mind in the moment of now, and if you don't have it, some work needs to be applied, and preferably not by getting on your knees to pray about it, or falling flat on the floor anticipating that God has spotted your deference. The reason why people used to get on their knees to pray, or fall flat, was to stop them killing each other in difficult times. And the notion you might feel better on the floor is to do with fear of not being heard and not being seen to defer to someone else's idea of prayer and meditation. Prayer and meditation is happening now inside you: whether you like it or not, or however you describe it or not in the moment and all day long…
I don't want you to agree with me, I need you to examine what is working and what is not working in your life. If you are putting off doing something hoping that something else will do it for you, you might be wasting a bit of time. If you are in a bad situation, and not putting any action into it, it is unlikely to change and will continue to be a bad situation. Defiance and being stubborn, outstanding characteristics of alcoholics who are active or who are in recovery. Impatient on the one hand, to be somewhere, and then absolutely devastated that we are in the wrong place with the wrong person or people and then we persist in staying there, not just for a day, more likely a month or two and even a year or two, because we simply do not accept serenity in the moment of now is about what we can and cannot do. And most often we mistake desire and lust for love… Me included! Until of course you really are on your spiritual path, one step at a time and not on your knees today…
Alcoholics Anonymous | February 28 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 "Sanity” Today’s AA daily reflection: "what? No president?" Not only was I sick and tired of being sick and tired when it came to alcohol, I was sick and tired of everybody's opinion of me and sick and tired of people telling me what to do when it came to my drinking and my life. Indeed my life would have ended if I got any more advice from people who didn't understand and looked down on me as a hopeless failure…
And coming into Fellowship, absolutely confused and bamboozled and not able to cope with reality in any shape or form it was touch and go whether I could listen long enough to realise there was a solution to my alcoholism. People did not trip over themselves to offer me advice or tell me what to do. They simply said I might benefit from listening, ask questions and stop beating myself up for being a failure. But there are many who with good intention become ingrained in telling others what to do, and wanting to lead in our society. We are but trusted servants…
Rarely have I seen a person fail who has thoroughly understood the true nature of Fellowship and Alcoholics Anonymous. And it takes time to realise the whole message and the suggestions are about liberating and freeing us from our addiction to alcohol. And helping us make free choices and good decisions about how to live life. With humility we learn how to be open, honest and willing to change as life changes and in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, work together in unity service and recovery… No rules, no laws and no regulations, and no president!
I may disagree with decisions my home group makes or in my case the many home group's I belong to. But if the decision is made by the group conscience I can abide by that decision or move along to another group. I will have my right to challenge any decision and call a group conscience. But if I cannot persuade my fellows, I need let go to my view of the group process and activities. And I need ask myself why I am out of touch with my fellows…
I like this quote in the AA daily reflection, "no treasurer can compel the payment of dues" and so often I see an attempt by the "committee" to cover the rent religiously each week, the regulars feel aggrieved, the newcomer fears being ripped off, and I just feel pissed off. When the group's finances are in recession, nothing kills off the economy faster than bad news and deficits. Five loaves and two fishes, fed the five thousand with an attitude of gratitude…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
When told that our Society has no president having authority to govern it, no treasurer who can compel the payment of any dues... our friends gasp and exclaim, “This simply can’t be ...” A weekend where tradition two was discussed, "we are trusted servants" I smile at myself, my outlook is simply one of many...
Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity service and recovery...
Old Timers support Newcomers - Newcomers support Old Timers ~ Jim Rohn "A good objective of leadership is to help those who are doing poorly to do well and to help those who are doing well to do even better." -/- Same size humans, veterans or greenhorns, making progress on day at a time...
In Fellowship we are interdependent - not co-dependent, lead as needed ~ Nelson Mandela "It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. We take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate our leadership." -/- We lead when asked, we share as we may, hope always for a sober day...
We - Unique and Authentic, not special and different? Peter Drucker "No institution can possibly survive if it needs geniuses to lead it. It must be organized in such a way as to be able to get along under a leadership of average human beings." Real people living and making Spiritual and Emotional Progress in Fellowship
Honest - Open - Willing - sober works leading by example ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower "The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is in an army, or in an office." -/- In fellowship we are all leaders and equal in experience, strength and hope...
AA Daily Reflection: WHAT? NO PRESIDENT? ~ FEBRUARY 28, When told that our Society has no president having authority to govern it, no treasurer who can compel the payment of any dues. . . . our friends gasp and exclaim, “This simply can’t be . . .” TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 132
When I finally made my way to A.A., I could not believe that there was no treasurer to “compel the payment of dues.” I could not imagine an organization that didn’t require monetary contributions in return for a service. It was my first and, thus far, only experience with getting “something for nothing.” Because I did not feel used or conned by those in A.A., I was able to approach the program free from bias and with an open mind. They wanted nothing from me. What could I lose? I thank God for the wisdom of the early founders who knew so well the alcoholic’s disdain for being manipulated.
"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."
Step Two Video 12 And 12
Step One Video 12 & 12
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 1 | Bill's Story |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 2 | There Is A Solution |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 3 | More About Alcoholism |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 4 | We Agnostics |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 5 | How It Works |
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