Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video July 15 2014
I don't know how I survived long enough to get to rock bottom. I can remember somebody asking me, "How many rock bottoms do you need to get the message?" This was a few months before I made a decision to give recovery a real chance to work with me. Nobody knows where rock bottom is for another person. And it does no one any favours to suggest you can do more research. Why? Simple, the other person is already in hell.
I just received a photo of my godson in his graduation gown having achieved a first class honours degree. I remember having a conversation with my sister who reminded me that I too have a degree, and it took three years to get an honours degree. She suggested to me that trying to change my outlook to life would take a while and there was no overnight solution. It gave me courage to try 90 days and then graduate equally with everyone one day at a time. Every day I graduate in the sober universe of now and learn how to change under the current conditions today.
12 steps: 12 principles which help me every day be different, open to the idea of change, and open to understanding the current conditions today. This is beyond measure, providing I utilise the 12 principles to understand me and not to judge the rest of the world. Just because I understand life in a new way every day, it does not mean the rest of the world is synchronised and understanding life in the same way as me.
One of my biggest defects of character can be around expectations of others. As I become open honest and willing to change, I may forget to consider that other people are closed down, unwilling and cannot change their outlook. Which means that other people cannot meet my personal expectations from myself. And when I make the assumption that people are on my side, I can be heading for disaster very quickly. I still need to understand where others are coming from, especially those who can hinder progress and have no intention of getting anywhere near perfection. Expectations of others with the 12 steps in mind can be disastrous! Forgive, forgive, and forgive myself again for making unfair assumptions about other people.
For the past week or so, I know I have been laid low in my mood. And the one thing I know I must do is get back into a regular routine of learning about me and how to change my outlook. Hungry, angry, lonely and or tired? Probably all of them in different measures over the last week or so. Caused mainly by a month of repairs and restorations to my home by people who do one job, do it right, and then undo another job in the process which then leads into more work and more intrusion. How do the steps help me in this situation? Gratitude helps every single day, which for me is part of step 10, my part in matters and thankful to have enough energy to keep a clear head and not become resentful.
There will always be times when life feels overwhelming, and clinical depression is not something which can be cured or managed without due care and attention. Depression is caused by H.A.L.T experiences and becomes more complex, depending on the extremes of experience we encounter. And prolonged turmoil will cause anyone to become depressed. Then when the chemistry is upset it needs to be rectified with careful and deliberate actions to improve our situation. And often medical support can be needed, and if necessary sought out. Not so today, or for the next few weeks in order to improve my situation. Sober is the key, and then the toolkit of the 12 steps plus whatever else we can access will help one day at a time. And the gift of Fellowship is imperative.
Step Seven Video 12 And 12
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