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Alcoholics Anonymous | March 10 2013 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" "my old life: fear, pride and ego… My new life: courage to change, faith in the next right thing, confidence to try, make mistakes and ask the help when I need it. And even when I don't need it, seek counsel for good decisions!" The old life embodied in step six of the twelve steps. The new life embodied in step seven of the twelve steps, learning a new way to live one day at a time…

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"A Power Greater Than You"

A meeting at the "spiritual hut" recently: I call it the spiritual hut, because most of the time it is about the spiritual experience described in appendix 2 of the big book. I like to listen to someone read this appendix which is barely two pages long. Listening rather than reading is a good way to keep hearing the words, weekly, and how their meaning can change through time. When I first got to AA, I had no conscious contact with a higher power and many people seemed to have God consciousness which I could not experience. I don't know how God works in your life, or does not work in your life, it is not for me to judge. I am content that God is truth, God is love and God is wisdom shared by the many. And that God, "truth and love," is always in the moment and always changing as everyone changes with wisdom learned from reality. The spiritual experience in my understanding is now, life on life's terms, the truth of now, love in the moment of now. Always changing, and always evolving, whether life is good, bad or ugly or any combination we can experience today…

The spiritual hut, the person sharing first, twenty years sober on that day. The spiritual experience described as all about action, realising that progress is made, and that is the perfect recipe. It's never about perfection, it is about a hard work journey one day at a time. And although life is hard and difficult, that is what makes it worthwhile. And especially in fellowship, finding a way to be sober, finding how to live in the company of other people and be able to work and learn from each other, has proved to be a sound foundation for living. People got to hear that the person speaking first was twenty years sober that day, and the meeting was rather larger than usual because after twenty years, they know a lot of people and a lot of people love them. And outside the biggest crane I have ever seen in Chelsea was being erected with all the bumps and grinds of metal on metal, the noises off, fitted perfectly with the share in the room…

It is really good to be part of something bigger than me, no longer alone, trying to make life work with fear, pride and ego as company. In the company of strangers to start with in fellowship, and then through whatever time it takes, the strangers for the most part, become friends and fellow travellers trudging the road of happy, sometimes good, bad and ugly destiny… Out of isolation, learning about courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing, whatever it might be, and the confidence to keep on trying to live a new way which becomes clearer and more realistic. Over and over people relate their feelings, and some people relate just how hard it is to share their feelings because they fear the ridicule of the many. And when we look at the way we make virtue out of single endeavours taken to extremes through sport, business and being number one, feelings always get trampled and those who share them can be ridiculed or so the fearful think. "What would they think of me if they really knew what was going on inside me?" And worse... For those who have made it, "now that I'm there, I got there in the end, why do I feel so empty?" Unless of course, fear, pride and ego rule you, then self-satisfaction is your reward…

The higher power! Your higher power! It needs to be yours and understood as best you can. So long as you are not your higher power, driven by ego, pride and fear. Truth and love, shared by the many, and constantly evolving is my higher power. As God works through people, who have much more wisdom and experience than one person, we can find better ways forward in our personal ambitions as well as relating and being part of life generally. And the question which I guess everybody needs to work out is what is the balance in life? Jack of all trades and master of none, master of one, and no other trade in life. Mastery of one thing, good or bad, to the exclusion of broader wisdom is no help when that mastery of one thing has burned out. And when we have burned out, how do we get back on the road, start again with a new outlook. Without the help of others, people places and things, the ending is often sooner rather than later. No amount of past glory will ever satisfy the soul…

The new life: courage to change, faith in the next right thing and confidence to keep on trying. All about the endeavour day-to-day: forming new relationships, being able to see a broader and bigger picture and how we can be included in so many ways. From isolation into inclusion, from self-loathing to self-confidence. Learning how to love, learning how to forgive, learning how to make mistakes, learning not to judge with fatality. We can love people and hate their behaviour, we can love people who are long gone and still shape our lives… There is endless capacity to keep on learning and changing, with courage, faith and enough confidence one day at a time…

Someone mentioned yesterday that there was a poster stuck on the wall in many meetings which said: "think, think, think…" And this poster was upside down in their opinion, because the words were posted upside down. And then they said it really annoyed them because the word "think" should have been the right way up. And only later did they realise that the suggestion was to stop thinking and start feeling. No matter how you try and force the idea that thinking comes first, it does not either in the conscious or subconscious mind. Whatever is going on, we have a mood, and our mood impacts on how we think and the actions that follow. So often we deny our feelings and prefer to think things through without reference to the feelings behind everything which would be better served if we really knew the meaning of love, how to love, how to be loved back and not shrink away from the obvious truth of now: "love is all you need…" Of course, enough food and a roof over your head helps…

Alcoholics Anonymous | March 10 2012 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" Today's AA daily reflection: "today, it is my choice." The twelve steps are all about liberation and freedom to live the best we can be today. Experience is our teacher when it comes to how the twelve steps work. Understanding powerlessness, restoration and letting go are the first three steps, and I remind myself what they mean to me every day…

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2009 - 2012

As the song goes, "life is a mystery…" And in recovery what was a mystery to me is how long I survived looking inwards for the answer to my problems rather than asking for help and looking outward for the solutions from anyone and everyone around me. Having been told to stand on my own two feet, put on a brave face and cover up, I still stand on my own two feet, and face my issues and ask for help when I need it…

It was a mystery to me, the mysterious ways of asking for help. "Good things happen in mysterious ways?" Asking for help from any source, and the inner resource we all have opens the door and stops isolation, fear and trepidation of not being good enough. And many people will help us to do what we cannot do for ourselves, usually love us enough so we make it into recovery one day at a time…

We all have an inner child, which loves to play and can be happy. Now my inner child is healthier, the mature adult is more wise and living with more free choices just for today… No expectations and no resentments under construction…

-/-

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Progress not perfection, a daily programme of learning ~ Jim Rohn "It doesn't matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. What matters most is getting off. You cannot make progress without making decisions." -/- Decisions made in the moment of now with courage, faith and confidence..

When we can, look for truth, and support in life choices ~ Robert H. Schuller "Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come." -/- A helicopter view often helps and a weather map of our human heart...

Holding on too long to self will? Letting go and letting in providence ~ B. F. Skinner "I did not direct my life. I didn't design it. I never made decisions. Things always came up and made them for me. That's what life is." -/- We do have life choices as life unfolds...

Listening to our good conscience, wisdom of others guides our life decisions and choices ~ Thomas S. Monson "I hope that you will learn to take responsibility for your decisions. don't take counsel of your fears." -/- Just for today, courage to change...

-/-

AA Daily Reflection: TODAY, IT'S MY CHOICE ~ MARCH 10, we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.62

With the realization and acceptance that I had played a part in the way my life had turned out came a dramatic change in my outlook. It was at this point that the A.A. program began to work for me. In the past I had always blamed others, either God or other people, for my circumstances. I never felt that I had a choice in altering my life. My decisions had been based on fear, pride, or ego. As a result, those decisions led me down a path of self-destruction. Today I try to allow my God to guide me on the road to sanity. I am responsible for my action-or inaction-whatever the consequences may be.

-/-

Just For Today, and every day cherish always...

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AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections

http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aareflections.cfm