Alcoholics Anonymous Videos | DonInLondon

Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | Jan 10 2004 - 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 1 "Powerless" |

January 10 Video

January Step One Month: "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." To admit and accept that I am powerless over alcohol, and do this on daily basis is really good relapse prevention. The opposite of admitting and accepting the truth, is denial of the truth. And it is true that I am an alcoholic in recovery one day at a time. This means I acknowledge the truth of my condition, "alcoholic in recovery," just for one day. Admitting and accepting is truth, anything else would be denial?

DonInLondon January 10, 2014: how am I feeling this morning? In the recovery area of life, that is my life actually, because everything is contingent on the current conditions of the day, I feel okay. I do feel a little bit daunted by the prospects of sharing my concerns about ongoing repairs to my flat with the landlord, and especially concerns about rewiring the whole flat when the company tasked with the job has made mistakes in other installations around me. Although these are legitimate concerns, and they are truthful concerns, I can almost feel the denial and the reluctance of the landlord to say anything or do anything. I can report, I don't have power over them: the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea and the tenant management organisation, and I certainly don't want much to do with them.

I saw a post about a programme in the UK called "Benefits Street." It was a very difficult watch, touching on many subjects, and probably encouraging huge prejudice on parts the population of the UK, where people have suffered from neglect for decades. I don't know the rights and wrongs of those who participated in the programme, the general impression that anyone could form would be highly negative towards anyone receiving any sort of benefit in that street. Driving people into the ground over many years has produced a culture of criminality. In order to survive in poverty, eking out a living in a destructive manner, all points to big failures in the social welfare system. I certainly don't know the answers, and I certainly don't know the remedy, we pay politicians and tens of thousands of people to look for solutions. Criminality, addiction, beaten down people, in a desert of apathy and depression. I relate to the addiction, the punishment, the apathy and personal depression. What about personal accountability for those involved at the other end of the scale? I don't defend either because neither is defensible.

I guess my point this morning is that anyone caught in extreme behaviour which leads to social exclusion, will cause continuous and further harm unless there is an understanding of how to break the pattern. Social exclusion, caused by antisocial behaviour has its roots in deprivation, poverty and an attitude of punishing people rather than helping people. How to help people who have gone beyond the pale? In a strange way always we miss the solution if all we do is look at the problem. Exercising judgement on other people without context will ruin any chance of redemption and some sort of recovery into normal living.

In the UK we have just heard about the lawful killing of a man who had a gun in his possession, apparently threw it over a wall and still was shot dead. I don't know what was right about that, a gunman killed, when he had disarmed himself a few seconds before. If you were a peacekeeper or policeman under those circumstances, how certain could a person be to know that the gunman had disarmed himself? Two wrongs don't make a right. And then what followed, a demonstration by the family, quite rightly horrified and grieving about their loss, with a spokesman from the police trying to issue a statement simultaneously. Common sense was lost completely as each side of the divide confronted each other. Trying to establish credibility by getting ahead of the story produced the worst of behaviour and the worst reporting of something that caused serious riots and fear in a lot of the population. Prejudice, insensitivity, this is where it all starts, and when the moralists come into it, prejudice intensifies with every statement based on defiance and righteousness. This is not truth, it is denial of accountability and responsibility in all aspects of this tragedy.

When people deviate from the actual truth, which is very common, prejudice and denial will completely undermine society. Politicians, those in power, those in coalition, those in opposition are still working to make society safe and prosperous. At least I hope they are, at the same time the politics of self interest, in other words career politicians are motivated by their careers and status, do seem tarnished, greedy, and selfish. The reason why politicians handed out responsibility for their salaries to a third party, is the same device used by public companies and former public utility companies to value individual people and positions at much higher salaries. And when politicians say they don't deserve a salary increase outside those imposed on those they manage, I agree wholeheartedly. Indeed if Mr Osborne were to try get a job in the private sector, based on his competence, he would not have been allowed this amount of time with so little to show for it. Indeed if he had been a football manager, Mr Osborne, would have been kicked out summarily within weeks if not months. Mind you if he were to have an ordinary job, with no other means of support, he would find life very difficult if he were to arrive on Benefits Street.

What has this got to do with recovery? It is about coping with reality of course.

DonInLondon 2013 - 2005

January 10 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 1 "Powerless" | Alcoholics Anonymous January and living the principles of step one. Step one reads as we admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable. Admission of powerlessness over a substance has been only the start of my journey of understanding how we humans become powerful when working together. I start my day, reminding myself that being powerless over people places and things, is the very best way to approach a new day…

Life is about sharing experience strength and hope. And when we are engaged with other people in any sort of activity, it is best to start from a place of equality, and not trying to plan future events without consultation with other people and certainly not doing their thinking and feeling for them. Very often when we feel insecure, we will try find ways to control our surroundings, in other words, try to control people, places and things. And we can feel so insecure, or go back to old ways of trying to manipulate and make more certain we can secure friendships and other relationships in a way which may undermine rather than build trust in people we have in our lives…

With a wide circle of friends, making time for everyone can be difficult. And sometimes we make time with certain people, and other people can feel left out, or under threat. This insecurity will undermine trust in everyone if there is any feeling of fear and loss. Fear of losing something, starts the process of losing that something. The more we try hold onto things over which we really know we have no power, and utilise old ways to undermine friendships, will lead to a greater loss. I have always found that truth works best when it comes to friendships and relationships, and if I were to interfere from a place of low self-esteem, I'm clinging on to something which I have already lost, peace of mind and serenity…

Had a marvellous discussion yesterday with a friend about how life is for them today. After many traumas, love and romance, finance and everything that can be thrown at us in recovery, they have found peace. And peacefulness comes from going through daily life, and learning how the steps work in practice. And step one, powerlessness over people places and things as a starting point each day, and keeping on working at including and being equal with people, opens the door to the truth of now. We can often find ourselves with good people going through very bad situations, and wonder how to help. Suggestions seem to work best when a person is able to listen. Being able to listen to suggestions only comes when we let go old thinking which can drive anybody potty, trying to work out what we don't know without finding out, and listening to the truth and asking for help…

Romance and finance are the two big areas which impact all the way through our lives. Either we don't have enough, or we have too much… It seems sometimes we can fear having nothing and settle for impossible situations and then we find ourselves very alone in our own thoughts. We always have to get back to feeling right in the moment of now and being able to cope with our current situation. The old life was all about fear, covering up our wounds and putting on a brave face, and our ego, not able to show our true emotions and feelings to other people. Telling the truth about our emotional state and how we are coping, or not coping, will lead to better outcomes. The outcomes can be good, bad or ugly, and the outcomes can happen through time with the same people, same places and things going on…

Recovery is often about breaking old patterns connected to our romantic interludes in life and coping with our finances day-to-day. The old life required a brave face, very often covering up the feelings and making do with unpleasantness just because we didn't want to be alone or out in the cold. And in recovery, breaking those old patterns of behaviour and becoming more open and inclusive, honest to share our truth and feelings, and willing to share our vulnerability will always lead to serenity. And sometimes we have to go through the most unpleasant experiences with people, because we can't change them and their attitudes, we can simply change our own attitudes and behaviour which reflects the truth of now. And then we get out of the habit of making do and pretending to be okay. Step one, powerlessness over people places and things is so helpful. It means we get out of the way of trouble, especially when it comes to romance and finance much more quickly and don't invest large chunks of time with hopeless cases, people, places and things…

In recovery, we are all learning what it means to love unconditionally, to be loved back unconditionally and the wisdom to know the difference. The problem is we have to go through pain as well as ecstasy on the road of romantic destiny. Uncertainty will lead to closing down and being unwilling to face the truth either of our own feelings or the feelings of others. And sometimes people we are with, simply have not got unconditional love in their hearts. I can guarantee from time to time, that most people in recovery have felt the isolation and loneliness of life unbearable, even when they are in a relationship, because the relationship actually lacks unconditional love which is based on truth, sharing the real truth of the emotional situation in the moment. And part of unconditional love is to forgive everybody everything on a daily basis, because we are all learning and often it is said in fellowship that we are all in a spiritual kindergarten. I tend to agree, emotionally and spiritually, we are all learning in the moment, the ever present, imperfectly perfect moment of now...

One of the most important things is not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. In other words to separate out the feelings we have in the moment about people we love unconditionally. We can love a person and be very unhappy about their behaviour. Depending on our feelings, sometimes we can find ourselves wanting to run away from everything and be very unforgiving of a person. When that happens I have to sit tight and ask myself "why am I in this situation?" Usually the answer is that I have not been living up to my own beliefs, which are to be truthful, as much as I possibly can. I don't mean being so blunt with the truth that we hurt a person, we need to learn how to be understanding and share our own feelings first. First I might say "I love you to bits, and yet, when you behave like that, it really hurts me..." And if the person understands they can share their truth. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it does not work out and we tell them to bugger off. Not unusual, but soonest, said, the less painful life becomes, because we are not invested in the fantasies we might have concocted in our own minds eye. Telling the truth works if we work at telling the truth with unconditional love in our hearts. We don't set out to hurt people, and most likely we will hurt less people as we go along. One day at a time…

In recovery with step one, humility, as with all the steps is a key element in living life in the moment. Not being able to cope, not knowing the answers, being frustrated by many feelings all once, feeling the opposites of love and hate in the moment about ourselves and about people around us. Living at the extremes of emotions, where love is not unconditional, it is very conditional and hate, self-hate first and then hating other people, these extremes seem to tumble along all at once. Letting go takes time, because we don't trust ourselves or other people. So what we need to do is keep learning the truth of now. And when we don't know what the truth is, keep on listening and sharing as much as possible, so that we can break the pattern of old thinking and horrible outcomes that we predict, feeling like it's all going to go wrong when indeed in the moment we can cope with help around us…

January 10 2012 | Daily Reflection|

Today's daily reflection "united we stand," the steps, to be open honest and willing, and the traditions, unity service and recovery. Steps: for personal development and traditions: to keep fellowship safe for everyone, suicide and homicide prevention one day at a time…

I didn't have a clue about how to live any more when I got to AA. And as a raw recruit, dealing with the first step, powerless over alcohol and unmanageable living was more than enough to try and understand. I could just about manage the idea of open honest and willing to learn life again, the rest confusion and put aside for later sobriety…

At first I tried to make the steps work for me, to fit with what I thought was right. And very quickly I learned, I needed to work the steps to find out what was right in the world, the truth of now, dealing with the past and learning how to live one day at a time…

We often say that we have gratitude for what the fellowship of AA does for us, forgetting that fellowship is "what you see is what you get" just for today. And just for today each group and meeting is the fellowship! Our daily basis our connection is as good as it gets. Sometimes brilliant, most of the time simply making progress and nowhere near perfect…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Kahlil Gibran "Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.'" -/- “Living In The Moment” ~ nature, providence, the universe, beyond definition… happily for me on day at a time

Unity, service and recovery keeps us safe and strong in fellowship. When asked to do service, how do we know when it is right to say yes, and right to say no?

-/-

Step One Video 12 & 12