Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | June 9 2014
Learning how to love, learning how to be loved back and live a useful life whatever your endeavours is key. We need to learn how to love, and we need tolerance and love. Tolerance and love through self-appraisal can hopefully lead to an understanding of how the current conditions and history impact on every human being. Forgiveness for what we have done is absolutely necessary, and so is forgiveness for everyone. We are all learners, sometimes quickly, most often slowly in my case, and hopefully truth emerges, and love returns one day at a time.
How we look after ourselves defines very often how we look after others in our lives. If we have self-worth, we learn to respect and love and cherish. Or we can go back into old behaviour of self-harm and caring less, not only for ourselves, we can become careless with everybody. Driven by thinking and actions we can tread roughshod over our own feelings about ourselves and completely ignore the feelings other people have. Self-care in this emotional and spiritual world, learning to love oneself then means we understand the emotional and spiritual impact we have on everyone.
Tolerance and love, forgiving everyone for how they behave. Every person has feelings, their emotional spiritual welfare is contingent on the current conditions today. Emotional and spiritual? Feelings fitting with the moment and that we can cope with the reality, the truth of now. Forgiveness releases the burden of trying to control outcomes whether they are good, bad or ugly.
In recovery we are not on trial, in recovery we are learning by our mistakes on a daily basis. And I wonder sometimes if mistakes are often covered up because of fear, pride and ego. When I make mistakes, I would rather share them with the world, and not covering up because it takes too much energy and in the end the truth comes out.
June is an interesting month in my progress. Every year since 2004, I have been learning more about the defects of character: which are about pride fear and ego. I don't know if I can share step six, without reference to step seven, shortcomings: short on, courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and the confidence to face the truth, and surrender to the truth of who and what we are. If I'm short, or have shortcomings of courage, faith and confidence, most likely pride fear and ego are looming ahead and in me in the moment. Step six and seven, always part of the moment, often it is the difference between denial of what is happening now, and acceptance of the truth of now.
Maybe we hear something inadvertently or deliberately which can undermine our serenity. The undermining of serenity can be a jolt of truth, or it might be malicious intent. We don't know which they are until we stop long enough. The problem is when we are not aware of the truth, or we have difficulty finding out what the truth is, isolated thinking will rumble into the grip and darkness of pride, ego and fear.
When I evade truth and don't tell the truth, what am I hiding from? Something which is going to hurt my feelings usually. If I cover up, the answer is obvious, my feelings are hurt in some way, or I fear hurting the feelings of somebody else. And for whatever reason, I need to deal with those feelings around pride, ego and fear which will only get worse until I find courage, faith and confidence to let truth emerge as best it can.
An emphatic no is better than a half-hearted yes. And sometimes it takes a lot of courage, faith and confidence to say no. No stops everything that we don't feel right about doing. And a simple no, it shuts the door to our own expectations, as much as anyone else's expectations. Expectations, without foundation are resentments grinding away and undermining serenity. Let go expectations, make space and freedom to choose whatever path is open. To thine own self be true.
Step Six Video 12 And 12
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