Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | June 4 2014
Step six: all about defects of character, or simply aspects of our character, our personality traits which have been pushed to extremes. Number one defect before recovery, drinking to excess, drinking myself to near death. And all the way towards an unnatural end, denial and absolute "want" beyond reason kept on driving me into the ground and unconsciousness. Drink when sleep, drink, then sleep, always teetering on the brink of extinction at the end. And the end was not death, it was acceptance that I could not drink alcohol in any shape or form again…
Pride, ego and fear at extremes, denial of the problem and not able to ask for help. And even now, having just passed my 10th year in recovery, pride, ego and fear are still available to rampage and ruin any day. Fortunately for me, I am aware of all the defects of character and all the words which are associated with extreme negative behaviour. What drives pride, ego and fear? Life can drive anyone to distraction. If we do not stop ourselves when things go wrong, hungry angry lonely tired will make it worse. And we need to ask for help from whatever source. It's about how we respond, and not blaming other people when they respond to us in horrible ways. As we point the finger at them, there are three fingers pointing back at us, each one laced with venom. We are our own poison.
Two people from local government/contractors came to see me yesterday. And I had not made an agenda for the meeting, which was about rewiring, which is required by law. Over the last few months, it has been disastrous, the way things have evolved and gone downhill. Anyway the two people who came, new on the scene, were open honest and willing to be helpful. So without blame or criticism of them, I was able to share the truth of incompetence, and they were able to share their truth and their belief in their competence to get things done. So, rather than go into the negative, and dig into old problems, we agreed to move forward with a bit of faith and confidence that things may become better through time.
Step six, personality traits: the headline emotional reactions and responses are most likely to come out as pride, fear and ego. And if I can just stop long enough, and then work on my own personal shortcomings, try to have a bit of courage, faith and confidence, and stick with the truth, rather than go into blame, and anger, the outcome is likely to improve. I don't expect the rest of the world to operate this way, but if I operate and improve my courage, faith and confidence on a daily basis, far more outcomes will be positive. And when they are negative, they can go fuck themselves. I don't mean that, truly I don't, but it is part of the road to acceptance and forgiveness of others who inadvertently or deliberately try cut us down on any given day.
Humour is so important in recovery, as long as we laugh at ourselves, first and foremost, we do improve our tolerance and love of humanity, even when they are emerging from the Stone Age emotionally.
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