Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | June 10 2014
Step six month: asking for help with our defects. Number one defect denial of truth. Surrendering to the truth can be a difficult and lengthy process. When we find the world is quite disagreeable, we become disagreeable. At extremes whole nations become disagreeable, society can feel disagreeable, community and family can feel disagreeable. And worse, when we are really ticked off, even Fellowship can feel disagreeable! Thankfully I don't feel disagreeable right now.
Changes happen all the time, and in recovery the primary areas which impact greatly on whether we are agreeable or disagreeable with the world, or a person, place or thing, is usually around romance and finance. Once we are sober, which can take quite a while, romance and finance, inevitably become part of recovery. If we have agreeable feelings around romance and finance, hopefully we find contentment and excitement, and every emotion agreeable. If however we feel we are missing out, romance and finance not happening to the right level of contentment and excitement, life can be very disagreeable.
And other things need to be taken into account in the world of step six and step seven, simply we need to start with, "to thine own self be true," and see if we are in an agreeable or disagreeable state of mind. If we are feeling agreeable with the world, open to the possibilities and feel right in ourselves, anything might happen. If we are uncertain, and I'm sure we all are quite often, asking for help is a truly good idea. And there are always plenty of people with an opinion. Just be wise in sorting out what is right for you.
If I don't know what is right for you, how can I possibly know what is right for me? Actually, this particular phrase is written the other way round, "if I don't know what is right for me, how can I possibly know what is right for you?" The problem is that we can find plenty of advisers who have ideas about what is right for us and make that judgement and share it with us in the name of love. Unfortunately people who offer advice on what is right for us? They may have our best interests at heart, or most likely their own interests at heart, and at the same time. Which means their wisdom is likely to be faulty and based on self-interest rather than your interest.
Fortunately I don't know what is right for me, and I'm working on it on a daily basis, and by bedtime, I can use step ten and gratitude to help me sort it out. Which means I have no clue what is right for you, although I have plenty of wisdom and still no answer which would satisfactorily make things right. And I won't know what is right for me, until I get there, in the meantime however, life is agreeable, I love people and people love me back in the world is full and I have useful endeavours I enjoy. There are endless possibilities every single day, and this happily makes life very confusing.
I guess what we fear most is loss. And losing love and intimacy on whatever level, emotionally and physically, will always hurt and we will grieve. But that's okay, because that is life one day at a time. We might deny changes because they are disagreeable, at the same time as one door closes, the doors open, very agreeably as we become open to life in all its manifestations today.
Some parts of the year can be very difficult, memories of times past need to be honoured. June was a good month for me over the years, as most summer months were. Particularly in the romance and finance departments. But since recovery, every month is bloody difficult, romance and finance need foundations in truth. Needs met wants forgotten? When will I know if my needs are being met? Easy to answer that one, I set my expectations to zero every morning, and no resentments are being constructed. So I feel quite comfortable now, having said all that. But the trouble is I'm a human being with defects of character, which are bloody nuisance.
Step Six Video 12 And 12
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