Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | Dec 3 | DonInLondon | Step 12 "Freedom To Choose" Liberty, liberation, release, emancipation, deliverance,
December 3, 2013 Step Twelve Month: "having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs..." My local early morning meeting, just a few minutes away was quite crowded this morning. Focus on step one, and I wonder how long it takes anyone anywhere to understand the strength we get from being powerless, strength in vulnerability, strength in unity, strength in numbers, and strength from starting over from scratch.
Although this meeting just around the corner from me has been going for a lot of years, this was the 1st time I attended. I don't know why it's taken so long, I'm always awake from silly o'clock and this meeting is there 5 days a week. I shall go more often if not every day over the next weeks, Christmas made my drinking look normal, and these days normal is not drinking at all. I didn't have anything to say when I got there, then as I was listening, I wanted to say lots and then I listened some more and then had nothing to say before the meeting ended. It was good because it brought up feelings of what it's like to be in early days of recovery.
Sponsorship, always seems to be a hot topic. Some sponsors don't seem to be able to carry out their duties, in the eyes of those they sponsor. My view from day one was to make friends once I got over my initial fears of talking to anyone. And as time went by I found natural connections to people who had knowledge and time to share with me. The only sponsors I might have had formally, they could not be available and I needed as many knowledgeable people as I could find one day at a time. And anyone who seemed to be a Guru, who had everything sussed, I found them very suspect indeed.
Yesterday was difficult, incidental things were going on and things weren't happening which ought to happen. I'd forgotten that sod's law applies always and expectations are resentments under construction. Tolerance and love? Not always in my case, still want to get the hammer out and crush incompetence. And then I realise I am a perfectionist, and can be quite incompetent myself. Forgive everybody everything.
So today is all about gentle progress, I talked to a newcomer or two, listened intently, and just kept on listening. I also learned that walking is quite difficult over any distance. So I shall have to get the bike out next time. Practising these principles in all my affairs, they only work today and in the moment of now. And I know that anger and resentment at this imperfectly perfect world will happen and the actions I take will temper the responses in all activities today. So yes, tolerance, love and forgiveness is always the best path and least obvious path to take on any given day.
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