Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | Dec 10 | DonInLondon | Step 12 "Freedom To Choose"
Humility "open to learning life today," learning "Truth, Love and Wisdom in the moment of now," liberty, liberation, release, emancipation, deliverance, forgiveness
December 10, 2013 Step Twelve Month: "having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs..." This morning, somebody said that they had learned how to cope with life by being in Fellowship and finding out what it is to live this emotional and spiritual journey. I was so pleased to hear this from somebody who never declared whether they were religious or not and it does not matter, coping with our feelings in the moment of now is what life is all about.
From fixing feelings and fixing our outlook with a drink or drug, to understanding what our feelings are without the impediment of a drink or a drug. And really understanding our feelings means that we experience all our feelings as we go along. Fixing ourselves, means we are trying to fix the way we are, and in the past we did this for fun and relief from the burdens we have and the things we don't understand. Being out of it on drugs or drink is something that happened to me, and I did it by choice in the beginning to the point where I could not stop and needed to fix myself with a substance or a behaviour. I just didn't learn what it was to be an emotional and spiritual human being by doing life, I simply thought I could manufacture the right result.
Over the last few days there has been much discussion about surrender. And of course letting go comes up. What do I surrender to on a daily basis? I surrender, to the truth of now, the love of now and learning the wisdom moment to moment. In my own understanding which comes from listening and learning what works today, I surrender so I may find the truth love and wisdom of now. It is not about my truth, it is about learning the truth with everything I encounter today, and I need to be open to the truth. I need to keep on learning love, how to love people, how to be loved back by people and this is the wisdom I learn on a daily basis.
Surrendering to the truth, love and wisdom of now, it means I let go trying to impose my ideas and beliefs and opinions of what is right and factual. I may have part of the answer about the world today, at the same time every single person around me has their spiritual truth of now. And as I let go of being right or wrong, I am open to what is going on in the world, I am not trying to sort it all out myself and present myself in a certain way. I keep learning the path which works with others and I am a participant in what is going on. Simply, by asking for help in Fellowship, asking for help in work or community, and asking for help to understand things in family, I try to make sure I can be myself and other people can be themselves without let or hindrance.
Emotional: knowing how I feel in the moment of now is critical and important to know because my feelings will impact on my thinking and my actions today. A person shared recently just how they had buried their rage about being bullied when they were younger. And in recovery, we suddenly realise how much we have tried to push away, and ignore and bury so we cannot be hurt. And as we get sober we see the fears and the actions of others and how we felt. And in the present moment when we see how wrong some things have been, we have white hot rage which burns so brightly, we don't know what to do with it. Actually, we don't have to sit still with these feelings, we come to meetings and express our feelings, we let our feelings out, and by expressing our feelings we stop them from damaging us more! Every feeling illuminates and educates, and the education is in thinking and the actions we can take, so we don't repeat the old patterns which leads to seeking oblivion from pain. And then we learn about feelings working in the moment of now. We still need to think and then decide on our actions.
Surrender to the truth, love and wisdom of now! And at the same time, when feelings are at extremes, then we realise we need to pause and think, and then express what is going on in safe places. When we learn these feelings are real and impact on our thinking, we will experience extreme feelings about good bad and ugly situations. We don't sit still with feelings, feelings will simply fester until we express them somewhere and surrender to the truth of the feelings, the truth about love and hate, the truth and love which leads to wisdom and how we cope in the moment of now.
Let go and let God? You can do this if you have worked hard at trying to understand the truth of now. Let go and surrender to the real truth, by asking for help. And if God works through people? Then find wise people. At the same time if you do not find wise people or people with the wisdom to help you in your decisions and your actions, then more hard work is needed to find the answers which may work today. Often we are overloaded with things to do, and we may have ambitions to be something or other. Ambitions, motivation and desires are all good, because we need purpose in life. At the same time we need to let in the light, we need to let in the wisdom of others who might help us with our direction. If you have no clue how to become something or other, and you say to yourself, "I am letting go, to let God," no answer will come, because you are not asking for something achievable, you are asking for something without a clue and without direction and without foundation.
Let go trying to do everything on your own, surrender and share your truth about your feelings and how you are coping today. Surrendering to the truth of now is a positive strength. Admitting your feelings, fear pride and ego, courage faith and confidence about situations will guide you to ask for help when you need it. All this became apparent today, having heard many shares over the last few days.
Spiritual life is not a mystery, it is the ability to face reality and cope with it, and when we cannot cope, and then we ask. We ask for help and reassurance so we can listen rather than speak. Listening hard is a real skill which many do not develop because the truth can sometimes be completely unacceptable. It is the way of the world, we prefer it our way, at the same time so does everybody else. So life will always be different one day at a time. Twelve steps and the spiritual principles work contingent on how I am doing, learning hopefully, and what the world is throwing in my direction today. It is always about: truth love and wisdom. It is always about: inclusion, control and affection. A Fellowship based on love is a really good place to be to learn who I am today and then keep on learning who I am each and every day.
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