Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | Dec 14 | DonInLondon | Step 12 "Freedom To Choose"
Humility "open to learning life today," learning "Truth, Love and Wisdom in the moment of now," liberty, liberation, release, emancipation, deliverance, forgiveness, tolerance and love.
December 14, 2013 Step Twelve Month: "having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs..." How we behave, how we learn to behave, from family, from community and the wider society will always impact on fresh minds. How we behave is our legacy to those we encounter one day at a time. And sharing the truth of how we feel, and how we behave as a consequence impacts on generations to come.
It can be quite tormenting to see the behaviour of politicians in the United Kingdom. When the Prime Minister answers questions every Wednesday lunchtime and how the leader of the opposition poses questions. They seem to be in combat with each other, they don't seem to have any respect or regard for each other. And politicians shout and cheer at one another. These are not high-level debates, they behave like a baying mob. And they think they deserve a pay rise. If we take our lead from our leaders, it would be a horrible existence indeed. Fortunately, most of the population pay no attention, because if they did and they were able to vote on what they do and what we see of politicians, they the politicians, would become even more irrelevant if it were not for the fact that they tax and spend our money.
Carrying a message within our fellowship is of extreme importance, the more it is truthful, the more impact we have with newcomers. And it has become important to me that I surrender to the truth love and wisdom of now. And that I also recognise the falsehoods, the hate and the gossip that can be manufactured when people choose not to understand what fellowship is all about. And of course everyone in recovery, from day one, is seeking a new path of freedom, seeking a new path to the truth of now which can be very elusive when we have many beliefs and opinions which need to be challenged.
I was in good company yesterday, showing some of my truths and how difficult it can be to love others when their behaviour causes hurt and perpetual fear. Indeed sharing yesterday was quite hard, even I find it difficult to love people when their behaviour is despicable and hateful. And I'm not alone, and sharing brought tears from me and I feel some others were in the same boat. Sometimes we do learn that although we might love people, we might not like them, and their behaviour remains hateful whatever happens. Letting go and moving on sometimes is the only course of action or we lose the plot in recovery. And deep sadness when we let go will bring tears, and eventually relieving us of the burden of denial about what we can and cannot do and the wisdom to know the difference.
And yesterday and other days this week, I bumped into people in different places, some in fellowship, some simply people I know in my area, and everyone keeps learning life every day. Catching up on news about people we know, and also sad news about people who have died, it is all happening all of the time. In one moment, we can be laughter and merriment, then another moment of deep sadness and loss, and it switches again to something else. Local news is very educational and spiritual. Feelings always count in the moment of now.
It really has been a very topsy-turvy type of week, good bad and ugly, full of emotional ups and downs. Just like every week! In recovery we do ride the waves, or more clearly put, our feelings are tuned in to the moment of now. Sometimes feelings are extreme, extremely loving, or extremely hateful about people and events. In recovery we do not block out the truth, but sometimes the truth needs a bit of denial until the truth sinks in. And its good to remind myself of step one, step two and step three is a starting point every day hopefully before I get out of bed or my head starts thinking and I don't know how I'm feeling!
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