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January 12 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 1 "Powerless" | Alcoholics Anonymous "One Fellowship Many Faiths" when I realised the game was up with regard to drinking, I had trouble understanding that fellowship has one primary purpose, to help anyone anywhere with a desire to be sober, be sober one day at a time. Within fellowship, so many different faiths and beliefs, as many faiths and beliefs, as there are people in the fellowship. A believer, an atheist or agnostic, or all those understandings can be in one person. As life experience teaches, we come to conclusions about faith. I came to believe and have faith in sober people telling their truth as best they could, and I needed to listen to everyone and not just a few who might favour of my belief system at the time…

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Ego Demands And Humility Asks

Over the years, sometimes I have felt "less than" other people in the fellowship who have a firm belief in God. And at other times, I've tried to believe in God because God seemed to be a necessary component of how the twelve step fellowship works in practice. And in the end I realised I could not define my own belief system, let alone anybody else's belief system because it is a very personal matter. I stopped trying to be like other people believing, not believing and or simply not knowing. I came to believe and have faith in the wisdom shared by many people, and with humility, I keep on listening to the many voices in the fellowship, as they share their experience, strength and hope about what happened, and what is happening right now, sharing about what is happening now, and I keep on learning who I am a little bit more on a daily basis…

Now about my daily meditation…Yes I do have a daily meditation in the morning, and I realise sometimes I'm forgetful unless I start writing something. Step one for me, it's very simple, I am powerless over alcohol, and if I take a drink life will become unmanageable again. No amount of drink will ever make reality in the moment of now any better. Indeed my reason for drinking was oblivion and not to feel inadequate. I don't seek oblivion today, I prefer reality. And as many spiritual people have suggested, spiritual is the ability to cope with reality as it is right now. So when it comes to fellowship and what it's about, emotional and spiritual: "knowing my feelings in the moment of now are about the moment and not history and not the future." And I cope most of the time, and when I cannot cope, I know my spiritual condition is not peace and serenity, and I can ask the help from anyone anywhere at any time. Help comes from within fellowship and the wisdom about being sober, and help comes because I have got the humility to ask for help. And then I power up people who can help me, by simply asking with good grace and not in a demanding way or with entitlement. "Ego demands; and humility asks…"

Yesterday was beautiful, I was able to do my morning reflections and share some words. My daily chance if you like is all about steps one, two and three, to kick off the day. Reminding myself about powerlessness and unmanageability, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, and letting go the ego which demands and feels entitled to something, and reminding myself that humility is the key to unlocking the help around me, and in my own mind, accepting I am equal, no bigger or smaller than other people, at the same time people around me have vastly superior wisdom in many areas of life, which I have not encountered yet and may not, depending on what happens today…

A lunchtime meeting, it is called "just for today," where there is no principal speaker, so we simply share what is on our minds. I shared about my mum, who has only three more radiotherapy treatments to do, and then can just take the right medication for treatment of breast cancer. My mum's eighty-two, has her wits and lives one day at a time, not because she was ever an addict, she lives one day at a time and has acceptance around help and support from anyone anywhere on a daily basis. My sister is her principal carer, and my mother is very grateful. Although very tired, they both accept what they can and cannot do just for today. I don't fear for my mum, I love her and love my sister for what they do. And equally I love my brother and his family, although we are out of touch a lot of the time and I hope I can mend bridges with him and his family as life and circumstances permit…

Listening and sharing with others at lunchtime, feeling good and the sun comes out. Christmas and New Year, featured heavily in discussions in our meeting. I can only share the impact on me, that I enjoyed Christmas and the New Year, it was exciting to be sober, and it was also exciting to be in meetings of the fellowship. Some had fared really well over Christmas, and the new year. Some found it profoundly difficult. And widening the view I have to all the meetings in recent times, newcomers are distraught and floundering as they start to listen to the wisdom of others. A lot of wisdom falls on deaf ears this time of year, but sometimes seeds are sown, some people grow very quickly into recovery, some like me might take years to make sense of what it might be like to be free to make the right choices based on reality and not some foggy fantasies of what life ought to be… It took me a long time to make sense of being sensible, acquiring my common sense again, and applying gumption, one day at a time…

What would I suggest at this time of year, for anyone who knows they cannot stop drinking, and the effect that it used to have does not work anymore? I feel the most important element when starting anything new is to develop humility, "Ego demands, and humility asks. Asking for help is the most difficult part of recovery because without it, that is the ability to ask for help and have humility or develop humility, we are probably on a fast road to destruction. The ruin for an alcoholic is happening one day at a time when there is no recovery, and there is no trust. And there is no integrity to be had when a fellow cannot stop drinking. Humility yes, and then hopefully the tenacity to keep on coming back. When all else fails fellowship can become a safe place for today…

Make friends in fellowship; be aware of yourself and your needs. Try to listen to as many people as possible about how they got sober and how they are sober today. Just being there in meetings can be enough in early days, and you can share as you like about your turmoil and how you feel right now. Don't forget when you are new you are helping people who've been around a while and forgotten just what it's like to be new trying to do something which has been impossible up to now. Fellows in fellowship will try help if they can, and the most important part to remember is, it takes many people in fellowship to keep one newcomer on the road of sobriety. Don't lean heavily on one person, one person will be pulled down. If you try to capture them and make them your saviour recovery is unlikely to work, no single alcoholic keeps sober on their own on the emotional and spiritual path, one voice in our heads is not enough. Equality, listening to the wisdom, learning about the suggested twelve steps and how they may help you, just for today…

Concerned about the weather; the cold and my intake of good food, not being so clever over the last few days, I did something which seems to be bad for me as a type 1 diabetic, I took some vitamin pills, which upset my stomach and stopped me going out for the rest of the day, and relating this makes me laugh, because I should've remembered what happened the last time I took some vitamin pills, vitamins C and D, and all the other vitamins rolled into one pill have an explosive effect which is not good and not to be repeated. So I am a bit dozy, and not quite myself this morning, but that's okay because I know why. Easy does it, and hopefully to a meeting later is all I need to be okay today…

January 12 2012 | Daily Reflection

"Accepting our present circumstances;" All about step one. Powerless and unmanageable! Yes, no and maybe come to mind, because I still want some of my own will to work on the rest of the world... Every time I try impose self will over reality which may not be to my liking, my life becomes a loop of growing anger and resentment... Better to get a grip on reality and then see what my choices are today.

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2012

I can have a cunitbollockarsehole of a day when I feel angry and sorrowful about my plight, or I can have a more serene day accepting that the starting point may wind me up somewhat, computer buggered, wisdom tooth buggered, and having to wait for solutions? No! Do what I can, know what I cannot do, and keep learning the cuntibollock wisdom to know the difference...

Dear higher power, thank you very much for sharing how it feels to have wisdom teeth, and especially how it feels for others who have had to endure pain because of them. I have the greatest respect for my ancestors who jumped off high cliffs to their deaths as a result... tooth pain is not the touchstone of my spiritual growth today...

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Today all about page 83 in the big book, "the spiritual life is not a theory, we have to live it" In family, work and community, I know how I am feeling and what to do. I can be assertive, and still see the big picture of "thy will" taking account of everyone and how we are all feeling today... calm prevails with positive actions…

-/-

ACCEPTING OUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES JANUARY 12, 2012

Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives. Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they can be the sure foundation upon which increased emotional health and therefore spiritual progress can be built. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 44

Just For Today, and every day cherish always...

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AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections

http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aareflections.cfm

AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve

http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=359

January 2013 | Step One Reading Video Link: