Alcoholics Anonymous Videos DonInLondon

Thursday, 31 January 2013

January 31 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 1 "Powerless" | Alcoholics Anonymous |

January 31 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 1 "Powerless" | Alcoholics Anonymous | "old life experiences, new life experiences." contingent on our spiritual condition! No matter what is going on today, good, bad or ugly, we are having a spiritual experience. We can feel distracted, in the moment we do not connect, we cannot hear what is going on, and respond to the present moment. Or we may be fully engaged in the moment of now and feel right and connected and able to cope with reality. Nobody is immune and completely focused in the moment of now, all the time, because life will always have its ups and downs…

Video For Today:

Can Do Cannot Do Wisdom

When I was new to recovery, a newcomer, my experience and wisdom had me on my knees, overwhelmed and living in my less preferred traits and extremes of negative behaviour. Sometimes call defects of character, the extreme elements and personality traits are about excessive and persistent fear, isolated and pretending to be okay and not showing my feelings by putting on a brave face, and my ego covering up shame and guilt about my illness and fatal malady. As a day timer, or "old timer" in fellowship, all these defects of character, a defect being an extreme, rather than the natural amount of something relating to what is going on now, one day at a time. I have been learning how to have the courage to change, develop faith in doing the next right thing, and asking for help when help is needed to resolve and cope in the present moment of now. The shift from step six and the old life, to step seven and the new life where we learn how to be open, honest and willing to make good one day at a time…

As a newcomer I had read the AA literature, the AA big book, the AA twelve steps and twelve traditions book and quite a number of other pamphlets and books, including as Bill sees it, written by the co-founder of the fellowship. After all that reading and absorbing, if you had given me an exam paper to test my knowledge, I feel I would have done reasonably well. So if fellowship had a graduation day, based on knowledge, I would have passed with flying colours? Well, good enough, I feel I would have been okay. And then I would have missed the point completely, knowledge and an exam would not have helped at all when it comes to emotional and spiritual living. Understanding my emotions in the moment of now, is wisdom learned from experience and not from a textbook. And fortunately there are no textbooks in fellowship, simply the sharing of experience, strength and hope and written by people in recovery in the moment. We can write our own book of experience, based on our wisdom of living, and it is the experience of life which is enhanced when we understand and live the principles of the twelve steps and the twelve traditions. The starting point, always today, and the finishing point? There is no finishing point when it comes to the emotional and spiritual experience...

As a newcomer, living in the moment of now is hell, or rather speaking only for me, living in the moment in the first few days of sobriety was hell. "Rattling" around, sleepless, body constricted and the dull ache in my mind and in my body, wanting a drink, and not needing a drink as drink would mean I would have to start over. The insanity: was always about self-medication and expecting I would be okay the next day, which led to dependence and addiction and continuously expecting the next day to be better and it never was. Breaking that insanity of wanting a drink to fix the pain, I wanted a drink, and a drink was the last thing I needed if I were to change anything and try get a bit of courage, just an inkling, have some faith that of others had stopped maybe I could for another day and have enough confidence that it was worth the effort and exposure to other people to try make my life work once more, for a day…

Pounding the pavements, walking to meetings in the first ninety days, as many meetings as I could. Reading the AA big book, reading the twelve and twelve, and anything else which might help really did help keep me focused on sobriety. I could see the connections, and read the words which made sense in reading them, and why was it I still felt so horrible and out of touch with reality? Simply, I had no peace of mind and was full of paranoia, looking over my shoulder and wondering when the world would end. These are the defects of character. I started to realise that pretty much everything I had done in the last days of drinking had provoked and made possible the living hell of every defect of character. So I stop drinking, and somebody said, "it might feel worse, before it gets better…" They were right, at the same time, as the rattling stopped and the physical pain abated, I started to listen to people with courage, people with faith and people with confidence. It started to rub off, the feeling that life was no longer hopeless and that life could be hopeful again. I really needed to understand that I was making a change in how to live life, and the only way to get the wisdom was simply to keep on living the new life, so I too would have experience and wisdom just a very little bit at a time. And for a day…

Everything in fellowship falls into place. Eventually, realising the old life was full of spiritual experiences and wisdom, the cannot do in the future. And the new life, was all about the can do in the moment of now, and I was learning the difference just one day at a time. And also realising that we are all imperfectly perfect, sometimes we go backwards and sometimes we go forwards in our learning about what we can and cannot do. Cannot do: the old life of step six, can do: the new life in step seven, developing my shortcomings which in my case was all about courage to change, faith and asking for help and accepting it was never going to be straightforward because help, like life, is somewhat haphazard and never as immediate as I might expect or want…

In the AA big book, in appendix II, it is all about the spiritual experience. Now that I understand that the best spiritual experience for me is where emotional and spiritual are in the moment of now: knowing my feelings and coping with reality, or rather, experiencing feelings which fit the present moment, and I can cope, and if I can't, I can ask for help. There are times when we cannot connect to the present moment and those spiritual experiences are when we are out of touch with reality. When we have a breakthrough, where we suddenly realise that life will improve in the present moment, we feel enlightened, and we can feel exhilarated. A bit like the journey from "rock bottom," to "rock on, life rocks…"

The good news in recovery is, sober we have a chance to cope with every eventuality, and if we cannot cope, we can ask for help. Once I put down the books for a few weeks and started to relax and realise that sometimes some peace and serenity would be possible, I started to relate to people in fellowship and become part of fellowship. I parked my judgement of myself and other people, joined in, started listening and started laughing at the worst of times, and really laughing at the best of times. I was afraid that if people saw me having fun, they might judge me badly. After a while, I stopped worrying about what other people thought, I started to feel it was okay to start from scratch all over again, without the burden of expectations and entitlement based on the old life, and just start again with a new life. Nothing had been wasted if I were able to live and experience life real one day at a time…

I don't know about the nature of other people, but I do know that if I stopped going to meetings and stop relating to people in recovery, I get forgetful and old life behaviour can creep back in quite quickly. And this is why I try to relate what it is like to be a newcomer making those first steps in recovery. And when I go to meetings and stick close to fellowship, I am reminded of myself and how easily anyone can slip backwards and then find themselves full of the old problems and attitudes which can then lead to drink. The fellowship works. In unity, service and recovery. And the first step, made by a newcomer is the beginning of fellowship, where unity, service and recovery begin by just being there. And then as we feel able, we volunteer to do what we can, when we can. All we need do is be a part of something bigger than us, where there is experience, strength and hope shared one day at a time… And this is how it is been working for quite a while. And always just for today…

January 31 2012 | Daily Reflection Powerless over alcohol, people, places and things is my daily reminder. And I know I need to learn powerlessness over computers if I don't read the instructions. Which helps me realise there are steps and an order if life and anything is to be manageable. Humour, powerlessness and unmanageability are a constant reminder of what I can and cannot do today…

Video For Today:

2009 - 2012

Today's AA daily reflections: "our Common welfare comes first" is about unity, service and recovery within the fellowship. We are all equal in our society as individuals. We abide to decisions made in our group conscience. At the same time our whole philosophy is about freedom of choice as individuals, the very essence of sobriety one day at a time…

"The whole is greater than the sum of its parts" and fellowship offers a safe place to grow and develop because of the experience strength and hope we learn over the years, always one day at a time. Sometimes we do go backwards to rediscover and relearn so we may go forwards again, as individuals and as a fellowship.

There will always be loud and noisy persons in our groups, and that is just as life is, and what we need to remember in the group and in fellowship, and especially in the group conscience each voice is equal and each vote is equal. This works in real time and face-to-face, which is why we remain trusted servants and there are no leaders, or the essence of unity service and recovery is lost…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Learning how to be open, honest and willing with twelve steps of AA has opened the door to a new way of life, sober one day at a time. In unity service and recovery, the twelve traditions serve all as we understand them. If you or I relapsed, the hand of AA is always there, that is my hope today...

Sometimes we are in a meeting where everyone is open and honest sharing their truth and the truth leads to more truth. The preamble, a reading from the big book, an honest chair and we share from the heart, how it was and how it is today, the meeting after the meeting, almost as long as the meeting!

AA Daily: OUR COMMON WELFARE COMES FIRST JANUARY 31 ~ The unity of Alcoholics Anonymous is the most cherished quality our Society has. . . . We stay whole, or A.A. dies. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 129

Our Traditions are key elements in the ego deflation process necessary to achieve and maintain sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous. The First Tradition reminds me not to take credit, or authority, for my recovery. Placing our common welfare first reminds me not to become a healer in this program; I am still one of the patients. Self-effacing elders built the ward. Without it, I doubt I would be alive. Without the group, few alcoholics would recover. The active role in renewed surrender of will enables me to step aside from the need to dominate, the desire for recognition, both of which played so great a part in my active alcoholism. Deferring my personal desires for the greater good of group growth contributes toward A.A. unity that is central to all recovery. It helps me to remember that the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts.

-/-

Just For Today, and every day cherish always...

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AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections

http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aareflections.cfm

AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve

http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=359

January 2013 | Step One Reading Video Link:

Step One Alcoholics Anonymous Reading

January 2013 | Video Reading How It Works:

How The Twelve Steps Work

January 2013 | Video Reading A Vision For You:

January 2013 | Playlist About Step One:

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLD1355CD80542DBFC

don@doninlondon.com |

"music for airports" By Brian Eno | http://www.enoshop.co.uk/ |

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

January 30 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 1 "Powerless" | Alcoholics Anonymous |

January 30 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 1 "Powerless" | Alcoholics Anonymous | "freedom to be me, but who am I…?" All those years of trying to fix myself, trying to fix the way I looked to other people, trying to blend in, trying to be included in the world and always using my wits and abilities to be that chameleon, morphing into what you wanted, and never knowing what I needed…

Video For Today:

Let Go And Ask For Help

Learning who I am today, this is not the sort of question I would imagine many people ask themselves. Most people? I don't know about most people, I just know about me, always asking myself the question, what am I doing, why and what is the point? I do believe that this question was with me from the start. A primary school teacher asked me who I wanted to be when I grew up, and apparently I looked at her with surprise and said, "I want to be King!" I know this, and I was five years old. The teacher told my mother and my mother thought it funny at the time. Can a person be grandiose, aged five? No! I reckon it was equality of opportunity that was required and not some notion of hereditary rights! After all, my dad was a socialist and he was very grandiose about everything. So who am I today? I don't know, but by the end of the day, I'm likely to have learned something useful and made some progress, it is the journey and not the destination today, the destination is the same for everyone, we just don't know when it's going to be…

I can remember, when talking to a friend some years back who was struggling to change career, that I suggested with any endeavour, start by being open, honest and willing to look at all the positive reasons for a change. And then look at all the reasons people may put in your path to block your ambition. And what will block you most in your own ambition to become something different. Impatience, resentment at the world, battling to be something, rather than being the person they were, made them exaggerate their skills, made them be selective with the truth about the past, in other words, leaving out some bad bits which could be researched. The CV was inaccurate and the pertinent questions unanswered, the interview good, the outcome, a flat rejection and huge annoyance by the potential employer at being misguided. Rage and anger persisted in my friend, the world against them again. If we are to get anywhere in life, we need to be open, honest and willing, with ourselves, first and foremost, telling the truth to ourselves, will stop us telling lies about our character and our values to other people. And people don't need to know everything, if it is not pertinent to the relationship? In my experience everything is pertinent and we get found out. If we hide, we miss our real opportunities to live openly and be successful at living. Living life now, as close to truth as we can muster will let people in and not shut us out...

Common ground in life and in recovery, we are all human, sensitive to our environment, we all have feelings and every person is learning about their feelings every day. Some are a quick study, living and experiencing their feelings in the moment of now, without any historical emotional eruptions blighting the present moment. And other people, their emotional fingers burned, holding on to grudges and horrors which have never been reconciled. I have a host of ghosts and emotional hang-ups, and the bloody ghosts will often chatter. If I have not dealt with these ghosts and why they hang around in my head, they will and can erupt in ugliness in the moment of now. Some of these ghosts, I can laugh at the causes and the effects, and some can make me mad as hell, because life isn't supposed to be like that. And I should not have been treated that way, I just didn't know what was right and wrong back in the day. Today, I am more clear, able to be assertive and have empathy with everyone I meet. And this is courtesy of the learning available, the experience, strength and hope of many people in fellowship and outside fellowship one day at a time...

Step one is all about powerless over alcohol and life gets unmanageable if we take a drink. A huge learning for me is accepting other people have power and control in many relationships. Anyone can encounter the helpful boss, the bullying boss, the helpful store assistant, the store assistant, who couldn't care less. The doctor who wants to help us, the doctor so stressed out they miss what's wrong with us. So many people need power in their positions in life, usually we can power up the people around us to help us if we ask for help in the right way, at the right time and in the right place. If we ask the help, without thinking or feeling we are entitled, even though, by law, we may have some rights, simply ask openly and honestly, "can you help me please?" And in recovery we need and in fellowship, the fellowship is a safe place, most often to ask for help. Sometimes help comes immediately and the solutions are found. Most often we ask for help, and it takes time, because it takes time for others to recognise our asking, and it takes time for us to recognise who might be appropriate to help. Nothing will ever work to your timetable, if you feel entitled and you feel you deserve something. Humility, recognising the need for help, asking for help, and then people recognising your needs rather than demands and wants is a lifelong journey in being alive and living one day at a time…

If you are asking for help, ask the person if they are able to help. And if they are not able to help, thank them for their honesty, and move on, or listen to the person you have asked who may be suggesting the right person to help you. This is life, it works in fellowship and it works in reality, in your daily doings, family, work and community and society. We all have rights and responsibilities, at the same time we need to power up the people around us, so they can be helpful and we can engage with them as we may. I have been around for five decades, and a bit like anyone reaching what might be a midpoint, or quite a late point in life, wisdom grows and grows. Why can't we get it sooner rather than later, this wisdom of life? Well we can find ways to learn and engage in life sooner rather than later. Once we have our freedom of choice back, freedom from drink, freedom from fear and freedom from our own worst enemy, the critic within who searches and searches and never finds the answer on their own…

And how am I feeling today? I feel good, it's 8:30 in the morning, mild weather, although dark and dingy with clouds. All my usual routines, reminding myself of steps one, two and three, that life can feel powerless and that is the strength, but doing the same things over and over again will not yield a new outcome, and let go and stop battling and pretending to be okay. Remind myself of the serenity prayer, the things I can do and cannot do today and the wisdom to know the difference will happen in the moment as each new life event unfolds. Sharing the experience, strength and hope of past times, and share the experience, strength and hope of present times. When life is good, when life is bad, and when life is plain old ugly, sharing the truth and being open, honest and willing, will be as good as it gets on any given day, and especially just for a day, this one…

I have heard many people say this, "let go and let God…" Certainly, let go the notion that you have all the power and are responsible in all ways to achieve your ambitions and goals which are about the future. In my experience, letting go is about letting go the mystery and mythology of being powerful over people, places and things. We don't live in this world alone, we live interdependent lives. And we need to take account of the wisdom around us, people who may be able to help us, and we need humility. Like I mentioned yesterday, humility can be seen as a grandiose word, or a word you don't like because it takes away your power. The evidence, in my life is that humility, opens the door to asking for help. "Let go and let God!" I feel very concerned that is the most grandiose copout on the planet. Let go and be guided by the wisdom of the universe, accessible twenty-four seven all around you, every day, the people, places and things familiar and unfamiliar. When we let go and ask for help, we work harder and smarter and with more freedom of choice from moment to moment. Truth is now, love is now, wisdom always in the now, because everything is happening right now… And thank God for that!

January 30 2012 | Daily Reflection | Today's AA daily reflection: "freedom from and freedom to?" It can be very difficult in my experience to feel any freedom at all in early days of recovery. Which is why hope is so important and was so important. Hearing people share their stories, experience of recovery in the fellowship of AA, eventually started to make a difference to me. Simply one day at a time, not needing to drink was key. I still had many wants, wanting to be well, wanting a roof over my head and many more, but not wanting a drink or needing to drink was enough for me….

Video For Today:

2009–2012

From hopeless desperation and desolation to hopeful and able to cope just enough today, my daily rehab in the community, going to meetings and for the first time in many years being included in something and not looking from the outside meant I kept sober. It felt like a long-distance endurance of fear and looking over my shoulder for some imaginary bogeyman to catch me out. Of course there was no bogeyman, and the extreme fear began to subside when I realised fellowship was my community within my local community, and at last I was included and belonged again..

My first emotion in recovery, extreme fear beyond reality. Fear of being found out, fear of not being good enough, fear of being beyond redemption which felt like a 24 hour nightmare. And then in time fear seemed to become just one of many emotions I may have today. And over the years, I still am learning what it is to be loved and to be able to love back. And every emotion a human being can feel today is more understood by me. The twelve steps help me learn what my feelings are today, and they fit my experience. And when my feelings fit the experience of now, I think and behave consistent with what is happening and my personal outlook today….

The greatest freedom for me is to learn "who I am daily." I start my day with basic routines to understand my emotional and spiritual condition, "How am I feeling, why and what may I do?" Just simply checking out my daily starting point and then reminding myself of steps 1 to 3 and the serenity prayer. And at any time of day, steps 10 to 12 will help me and guide me just for a day. And with humility it's not whether I'm right or wrong, it's what I do and how I live which defines me and helps me understand a little bit more about life and living in the moment, the only place where we can change our outlook day by day….

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Two meetings for me yesterday: At lunchtime about tradition one, freedom of choice in recovery is paramount. And then late evening: all about issues in later sobriety. Each meeting emphasised living real life as real life is, and with acceptance we keep making the best choices to action, action being the key...

Arthur Gordon "Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there's all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens."

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable".

AA Daily: Freedom from... Freedom to ~ We are going to know a new freedom... ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 83

Freedom for me is both freedom from and freedom to. The first freedom I enjoy is freedom from the slavery of alcohol. What a relief! Then I begin to experience freedom from fear - fear of people, of economic insecurity, of commitment, of failure, of rejection. Then I begin to enjoy freedom to - freedom to choose sobriety for today, freedom to be myself, freedom to express my opinion, to experience peace of mind, to love and be loved, and freedom to grow spiritually. But how can I achieve these freedoms? The Big Book clearly says that before I am halfway through making amends, I will begin to know a "new" freedom; not the old freedom of doing what I pleased, without regard to others, but the new freedom that allows fulfilment of the promises in my life. What a joy to be free!

-/-

Just For Today, and every day cherish always...

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AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections

http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aareflections.cfm

AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve

http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=359

January 2013 | Step One Reading Video Link:

Step One Alcoholics Anonymous Reading

January 2013 | Video Reading How It Works:

How The Twelve Steps Work

January 2013 | Video Reading A Vision For You:

January 2013 | Playlist About Step One:

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLD1355CD80542DBFC

don@doninlondon.com |

"music for airports" By Brian Eno | http://www.enoshop.co.uk/ |

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

January 29 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 1 "Powerless" | Alcoholics Anonymous |

January 29 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 1 "Powerless" | Alcoholics Anonymous | "fellowship ~ common ground and personal freedom..." A society of human beings working together in unity, service and recovery. One primary purpose, a desire to stop drinking and help others recover from alcoholism. Developing personal choices, learning the can do of life and the cannot do of life and the wisdom to know the difference. Just for a day and then…

Video For Today:

Common Ground Personal Freedom

The world is full of people telling others what to do, the world is full of marketing people determining what we ought to be doing and what we ought to be having. The world is full of people telling each other what to do. People, places and things can drive us mad on any given day and make a return to old feelings, attitudes and behaviour very possible because we feel good, we feel bad and we feel the ugly of life. With all these challenges in life where people are telling us what to do, how on earth do we stop doing something so harmful, our lives are lost in oblivion, lost and self-harm and cut short because we cannot stop hurting ourselves? Alone, it feels impossible, but the world tells us we ought to be able to stop harming ourselves. In our fellowship, we recognise that unity around one single issue, keeping sober one day at a time can open the door to a new life of freedom and usefulness… And of course, to determine your choices, and you will learn what your usefulness is…

Every single day, we will feel judged by other people, and by one other in the here and now, the critic inside us which looks to the dark side of what people might be thinking, how we appear and what the world thinks of us. We are our own worst enemy when it comes to judgement. In my case I was never satisfied with my own situation, and felt I could do better. "Could do better," was something to be found on a school report, a college report, a work performance review and I wrote it, whilst others judging me might be quite favourable, I was always concerned to improve. In fellowship, unity, service and recovery is about progress one day at a time. And it's more than that, it is acceptance of the truth of now, and in the truth of now, nothing is absolutely perfect, the best it can be is imperfectly perfect, in the ever present, present moment of now…

Just because we say or I say fellowship is about common ground does not make it so. And although the traditions of the fellowship are quite clear, they are suggestions and they take account of imperfectly perfect people trying to get well today. Everything is about now, what we can do and what we cannot do, and learning the wisdom to know the difference. Fellowship is imperfectly perfect, absolutely fantastic principles which would make any society robust and efficient in keeping people sober. Newcomers find out quite quickly that the fellowship is only as good as the people we are with today, and a lot of people can be good, bad and ugly, almost in the same moment. People react to experience, strength and hope in different ways, sometimes unable to contain themselves because of the humour, sometimes unable to contain themselves because of sadness and sometimes it just appears completely anarchic and mad because we all get mad now and again, and just for today… As we learn what common ground is, and not about telling each other. We are on common ground, sometimes level, sometimes uneven, and sometimes it can be despicable in the moment when people start telling each other what to do in moments of insanity, which can last for days in our heads… If people start telling you what to do, we have many options, the best option? Keep your side of the Street clean, and try not to tell others to fuck off and mind their own business, because eventually with good fortune they will return to their side of the Street of their own accord…

I can feel like I am being driven to distraction. Sometimes the world is just unfair, I find it hard to cope and I just don't know what to do with myself. Usually it is a reaction to my powerlessness over the big events in the world, and less often to do with my own personal situation which becomes manageable contingent on my spiritual condition. Spiritual condition, the ability to cope with what is going on and my feelings fit reality, or simply, feeling okay just now. When I cannot cope with my own situation, the beauty of fellowship is continuous, the more often I am in the company of people in recovery, utilising the twelve step principles to resolve life in the moment and find solutions, the more able I am to cope, as I keep on learning living skills through the experience, strength and hope of others around me today…

Early days. I need a fix! No I don't! Yes I do! If only the world understood me and my needs, and realised I was right all the time! Me me me! I want it now! All addictive signs of trying to fix myself. IMPATIENT indeed. When people said in fellowship, "slow down and take it easy," they had no idea how fast I wanted to progress and show the world how sober I was and perfectly able to cope… Learning to get back into the present moment, deal with my issues and problems, find help in the solutions meant it was going to be a hard slog, until I stopped looking over my shoulder for the person who would shoot me down in flames. There was no person looking over my shoulder, simply the fear in me and the critic in me ready to pull me down and make a slip, a relapse or the deathly decision to return to drink. When my mind, my feelings don't feel right, I know it's time to make sure I am attending regular meetings of fellowship, where the answers can be easier and sooner rather than later, and often for many, too late if we are driven back into insanity…

The end of fixing, the start of living in the moment. Living in the moment is going to happen. And life is to be experienced in the moment and continues, there is no end until the obvious end, and an intervention can help anyone anywhere find their way back to sanity with the right help in the right place at the right time. Interventions, for example, medical and professional can help us admit and accept the emotional and spiritual madness of addiction. And yet as individuals we can find denial most helpful, after all, who wants to lose their best friend in life, even if it is a substance? It takes away the pain and then creates the pain, it takes away the problems and then makes more problems, it takes away reality and then there is no reality, it takes away our essence, love, and then there is no love… How on Earth could we have been persuaded that addiction takes away everything? Because when we are addicted everything goes and then there is nothing, and then surprisingly, with the right help, there is nothing to lose…

Common ground, based on unconditional love, when the fellowship may not really have many within who understand and live unconditional love… We get a taste of love, and find no conditions. And we are suspicious of these righteous people? Until we realise we are simply people making progress, that unconditional love towards other people is part of learning how to love yourself enough, understanding the principles of unity and service, in early days, recovery makes little sense. Only when we say to ourselves, why not be a part of this fellowship rather than an observer or tourist do we start to understand, that it is okay to be empty and desolate and desperate, that it is okay to live through painful times, and find level and balanced moments happening, that something starts to make sense in the moment of now. And out of a complete breakdown in emotional living, broken to pieces, the fragments can start form again inside, and in a different way and that is why in fellowship, asking for help is so critical to learning life again. And the word humility can sound grandiose, all it means is why not try to learn again? And that is the hard part, having to change our outlook and have the courage to change almost minutely and impossibly one day at a time. Courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing, and gently building confidence that life can be lived again. Some people call this a psychic change, and depending on your belief system and your opinions, you will find a scientific, common sense and some form of understanding about what is spiritual in every moment...

I came to the conclusion that "truth, love and wisdom in the moment of now," that is the basis on which to make decisions. My spiritual condition is the way I am in this moment of now. And being able to cope with what is going on is courtesy of recovery and fellowship, giving me back my freedom to know what I can do and cannot do today. No longer chained to a substance, no longer chained to notions about how to be with people, places and things based on old life. The new life is freedom to choose to live sober first and then anything can happen with people, places and things as the possibilities happen moment to moment. And fellowship? Full of good people sometimes behaving badly, full of bad people sometimes behaving well, timid people, loud people, mad people, restored to sanity momentarily, and then often for a whole day? Not often, because any of us can be driven mad as hell on any given day by events, and we can live through that madness and get back to sober outlooks far faster with our friends in fellowship one day at a time… Practical wisdom is a kinda magic today…

January 29 2012 | Daily Reflection | Today's AA daily reflection: "the Joy of sharing" is all about life taking on new meaning. So many new questions in recovery and at the beginning no answers, and often many assumptions by all. The first question, what am I going to do now with all this time? Still in the grip of fear and out of sorts with everything, fear of the unknown can grip. When an old-timer may say "take it easy" it seems like they have no clue what goes on for the newcomer, they do because they are listening to you. Taking it easy means listening and trying to understand as we emerge from the darkest of days…

Video For Today:

2009 - 2012

The shock of being included again, hearing people share their experience, strength and hope with each other is a dramatic turnaround. From isolation and hiding, to knowing it is okay to share the worst of times so we can move on to the best of times, and hear about "new times" from others starts a way of life living one day to time. As we start to learn from our history and stop fearing our future, recovery life is all about our emotional and spiritual condition now. Knowing our feelings fit with reality and we can cope, the best of times is whatever the feelings may be good or catastrophic, whatever the pressure, feelings fit with the moment of now. And we really can cope as we ask for help today…

We are making day by day progress, by sharing experience strength and hope with newcomers becomes essential to understanding our own recovery, and continually sharing how recovery works. And as each newcomer soon realises, the experience they have of each day in recovery is essential to share with their fellow newcomers and old-timers. Newcomers and old-timers alike are only as good as they may be when asked for help in any day, and we keep learning and changing as we put into practice whatever useful comes our way…

I can remember the harsh and stark desolation of those final days of drink. The isolation needed, to hide away from everyone and everything was coming to an end. The rattling and tremors subsiding and just able to get to a meeting and almost hold a cup of tea and munch on a biscuit. It took a few days to realise I was not in the spotlight and no one was looking at me other than to offer help… And "the Joy of sharing" took quite a while for me…

Many discussions about love come my way, from what is love to how can I possibly love myself, to if I am attracted to a person will I fall in love? All good questions and no answers. One critical factor about unconditional love means that we don't put conditions on ourselves about loving ourselves, and if we are wondering if we can fall in love with another person, or we want to, how on earth can this happen? All good questions with no answers…

Attraction and not promotion? This is what we know in recovery in our fellowship, attraction is what you see is what you get. Promotion, a bit like a profile on a web dating site is relating the best and not the worst, or quite the truth of who we are. Fellowship cannot fix through promotion, and when it comes to love and learning about others who we may be attracted to us by what we see may be not quite what we get. Many questions and no answers and often many assumptions…

The truth of love is? So many questions and no answers and so many assumptions. Relationships, we feel a need for them and we feel better in them? The first relationship to find is the one with ourselves where we ask the questions and find out the answers day by day. And as our relationships grow with others, the unanswered questions start to be answered, in the moment when we ask and as we develop as people, in relationships and family and community and society today. The question asked directly to the person in the moment of now offers an answer immediately in the moment of now. Sometimes things work out sometimes they don't, better to know now and not be lost in dream or fantasy without reality. And always in reality today, we find the key…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

I have found that when I let go trying to manage outcomes and let outcomes emerge life is bigger than my imagination and bigger than anything I can control. When I narrow my focus, my world becomes small. When I broaden my outlook, more choice and more freedom, opportunity knocks today...

Spiritual, simply is being in the moment, experiencing 'now'...Voltaire "What then do you call your soul? What idea have you of it? You cannot of yourselves, without revelation, admit the existence within you of anything but a power unknown to you of feeling and thinking."

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AA Daily: THE JOY OF SHARING ~ JANUARY 29, life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you. to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 89

To know that each newcomer with whom I share has the opportunity to experience the relief that I have found in this Fellowship fills me with joy and gratitude. I feel that all the things described in A.A. will come to pass for them, as they have for me, if they seize the opportunity and embrace the program fully.

-/-

Just For Today, and every day cherish always...

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AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections

http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aareflections.cfm

AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve

http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=359

January 2013 | Step One Reading Video Link: