November 17 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 11 Daily Meditation Alcoholics Anonymous Today's Daily Reflections: "overcoming loneliness: sharing in a general way is pointless and offers no connection…" Similarities and differences are what we hear when people share from the heart. If the adage, "God works through people," "God listens through people." General and degraded with a veil over the truth, the devil in the detail of recovery can be lost. It is almost like telling a child that there is nothing to be scared off, when I was a child I felt there was everything to be scared off…
Video For Today:
Bone aching loneliness and a desire to blot out this reality grows as we are unable to connect with other people and our outlook and ability to relate diminishes with each breath taken. Night terrors, day terrors and terrors of all sorts grow in a mind cut off from the truth of how other people feel and live their lives. Open, honest and willing to share the truth of how we are, from the heart, and not from a thinking perspective reveals our true feelings. When we degrade our sharing and try to clean it up so it is a general share in a general way, dilutes our sharing of experience, strength and hope…
The man or woman who shares the truth, good, bad and ugly: The emotional torments of having feelings to start with and then losing all sense of feeling about life and the excruciating pain required as we find our feelings extreme when they have no cover up is the most powerful tool to enlighten. It may offend social sensibilities, the language may offend anyone's sensibilities, I would rather have the vile truth, and the truth of love revealed and the loss of love revealed one day at a time...
Getting to know ourselves in recovery is not done in a general way. Getting to know ourselves, find a pattern of truth, love and growing wisdom is all those elements which are good, bad and ugly. Loneliness comes from fear, if God works through other people and he works through me, I feel God would prefer the unvarnished truth rather than a general halfway house truth which serves no one. And if God listens through other people, how on Earth can God make sense of generalities and not specifics which were given to us by him?
I do find it very irksome when I go to meetings and some people bestow fear on others by saying that they can only share in a general way. And if they have issues and problems which are so dire and uncommon that they cannot share openly, what on earth is the point of sharing at all. Embarrassment, the fact that life isn't just joyful, the fact that people have to deal with their issues properly and not secretly, for fear of shame and guilt is never going to work and will hold people back. It's a bit like going to the doctor and telling them that there is nothing wrong generally, "but I died last Tuesday…" Why limit another person’s one shot at telling the truth today because you don't like their words? Fellowship is about being all in and not half out and half cocked…
Mind you, as Richard Alpert said: "of course I could be wrong." a.k.a. Ram Dass
When I'm in a meeting and have listened to a person sharing in a general way, I can relate to the general share and to know specifics. If I am fortunate I've been around long enough to get the gist and then share back specifically! When I hear a general share and then hear others chime in: "that was powerful!" "I related in a general way to that!" "I feel your pain!" "I cannot tell you how much that meant to me… Because it was so general, it made no sense." When I am in a meeting where people laugh and cry and can relate truthfully, the power is obvious, and there is no need for superlatives. I am not a puritan with a pointy hat, I am not an individual who would dress piano legs with petticoats, I would rather see its hairy legs!
The difference between loneliness and solitude: Back then when and endless supply of drink seemed like my best friend, I would isolate from the world because reality was just too painful. I had a right to drink away my life, after all, life had become empty and lonely as heartbreak followed heartbreak. I had lost my ability to love, be loved and make sense of the grand design to experience life. Today, solitude offers time to reflect and meditate and be a part of the grand design of providence and nature, know how to love, be loved and a part of reality, to laugh and cry, to feel joy and sadness as experience offers, away from ego's drift and into the moment of now...
With a critical eye, many of us have learned to judge our fellows. Indeed we have become expert and professional, able to dismantle and see what makes life tick. People, places and things are undone with a scientific disposition we can unravel what were once mysteries. As observers we are often trapped in the negative, as participants we are active in the outcomes. Observation and isolation can keep us in the problem; participation and action move us into the solution today. In the solution, day by day we can feel life as it is, cope with reality. The journey in fellowship, emotional and spiritual living in the moment of now, living and building step by step, the journey not the destination lives and beats within...
November 17 2010 ~ "All by myself, I wish I was..?" I learn every day the difference between solitude and isolation. Solitude provides me with time to reflect on what is working or not working in my life, and the freedom of my choices today. I can reflect in solitude and ask for help when I need it, sharing how I feel is freedom today...
November 17 2010 ~ Loneliness for me is about isolation, hiding away when I do not feel right. When I need help, an open honest and willing outlook helps me. I was never one to complain to others, I just let fear gnaw away at my gut. Isolation will let fear grow, sharing my concerns daily helps me make progress today...
AA Daily Reflections ~ "OVERCOMING LONELINESS" Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn’t quite belong. AS BILL SEES IT,
The agonies and the void that I often felt inside occur less and less frequently in my life today. I have learned to cope with solitude. It is only when I am alone and calm that I am able to communicate with God, for He cannot reach me when I am in turmoil. It is good to maintain contact with God at all times, but it is absolutely essential that, when everything seems to go wrong, I maintain that contact through prayer and meditation."
November 17 2007 [All About The Present]
DonInLondon - ’Day In the Life’ Path To Spiritual Living
Radnor Walk - Saturday Food for Thought
After being at a meeting of the promises last night, which is all about getting a life back, I went back to Radnor Walk at mid-day.
Odd really as I grew up with a notion there was no God, mostly following in my Dad’s footsteps I realised the prejudice against any type of God had been well and truly made in my early years.
Even today I still have no real understanding of a God as such, merely that its not me, and there is a spiritual path to life which needs nothing but understanding some simple truth.
For me has become more and more simple. The spiritual connection is now, what we experience as best we can, as an understanding of truth. There is no mystery for me in truth, just that I may strive for truth and still find I learn every day, that truth is found as best we can with all our senses and sensibilities working without filters or denials.
Herbert Spencer was quoted today “contempt prior to investigation.” a very apt suggestion for a person like me is to challenge my feeling, my thinking and improve my outlook. Not to be in contempt, and not to feel I have found the answer to all my problems today. That is I need learn every day what is occurring, and see how much of the truth I may find in experience rather than theory or prejudice.
Letter To A Good Dear Friend
You are getting much closer to the POSH[ Programme Of Self-Healing ] The programme of: Sabbaticals To Reinforce Enrich Ground Temperaments Humanly. Better known as lolling a while and gathering our wits.
I like the DIM, its sounds just right for me [ Did It Myself ]. Seriously though as we do take life very carefully and seriously.
Sabbatical is a Gift to Self
The gift of a sabbatical is to ask ourselves why indeed do people want us around and involved? The simple answer is we make them see the person they need for that job or this thing they want to fix. We are jolly good at evoking trust, and all manner of skills just roll out of us. Why?
Because we can do what they ask, but it rips us up as we realise we are not really inclined if ever to do what they want. A fast trip on the snakes and ladders board to starting at ground zero all over again.
Risk Assessments as the Yes Trips off my Tongue
As much as I know I can do the job as asked, it would still undo me again. Because of the programme we are realising how to relax and start over. And stop doing the same old things over and over. because our old life is gone and we are still grieving its loss no matter how awfully it ended, for me in exhaustion and then later in fully active and dysfunctional alcoholism.
I can speak for me and realise the last big career was purely ego, thin and superficial survival in an awful game of self-harm and unhappiness, and not esteem for me. Still stuck in old ways and old attitudes about my importance and my impact. Or worse lack of it and no self-esteem even when people gave me good reviews, I felt no happiness.
And of course being remunerated for what I did. All old and bad for me. Being a functional alcoholic for a while or being a dry drunk full of pain, that is the prospect going backwards and not forwards.
Measuring ourselves and worth with old currency!
We are good at doing these things as you know, yet we actually value the currency of spiritual development more. The real currency if you like. a sabbatical opens our eyes to being here to be useful in our own living, and not living up to other people’s expectations or measures of living.
Because we were able to learn new skills, utilise them and make things work, we have an opportunity to reappraise our next steps truly through the living experience of recovery. Every experience lived in recovery is spiritual in its nature, good and bad, pink clouds and dark clouds with thunderbolts and lightening.
We need find safe ground and halt and stop trying to make a life like the old one. the old one has no heart or empathy with the journey we now have. By the day, just being and letting our life happen.
I have taken a leaf out of your book and headed off to new meetings here and there. and have stopped saying yes automatically and asking myself am I really doing the next right thing? Responses to living, not always reacting with the old head which just says yes.
Living grief is as painful and more painful than expiration or obliteration we can achieve doing old behaviour and old patterns. Living in the programme of now, the living amends we are always adding to by each day we live and make work with every mistakes and every step by step progress forwards and backwards is the stuff of spiritual. The simple truth of now.
When we feel that instinctive grip of anxiety about requests and suggestions, I now realise that no screams out as my head says yes. My thinking is to say yes, my path is often to say no. And not wonder what anyone may think or feel about me.
As we stop judging others, it feels right about now, we stop judging ourselves harshly for anything we might reasonably do. Like take time out, just say no, just accept we can say no and say no with confidence that we can kick back and really recuperate or we are truly lost.
This is fine to share, it is a hard year or two ahead to make sure I rest easy being easy in my own space and time. Help As We may though and in just this one day.
Our best endeavour is help as we can, in the moment, and not take responsibility beyond this one moment, and be just human sized. Be human and do as we can with what is in front of us now, and walk home having done it, shut the door kick off the shoes and shut our eyes and thank god we did what we could just for now.
Say No To
Anything involving planning or managing anyone else. Volunteer for just this one day, nothing more and resign anything which holds us to the earth with leaden feet. Greet, make tea, speak do twelve step work, feel good and be busy with
Just For today.
Other people are destined for many good jobs in fellowship which need be longer than a day. for us with old behaviour and old attitudes to leave behind, we need nimbleness and day to day living, breathing, helping where we can, and not the chains of command or office. Or we end up back at square one. full of resentment towards ourselves and full of pain.
What others prize is surely like poison to our progress. Live their values, we lose our own and identity and worse our integrity and truth.
We Need Clean House
As we empty out the old, we make room to spectacular connection and room for new experiences, which are in the day. Our contribution best in where others are full we have room in our day to assist and support.
A sabbatical like this is busy, not about sitting quiet too long it’s about the new of life and new experiences which we have and share and give our best attention to without worry of lead weights and disheartening and gruelling endurance in depression,
our spiritual growth is dependent on letting go our ego and our ability to do what we have done before. There is no acceptance in the old, only acceptance that we had another life, this new one is a day long and always full as we may find our path busy, eccentric to some inexplicable to many and understood always by ourselves. Moving gently forward, at a million miles an hour.
When we let go, we are at your best. We need let go, or we hear the voices of our parents and tormentors in our heads chastising and grudging our daily success. After all this life is good for this one day, not yesterday or tomorrow, those days have gone or may never happen. Just for today be happy,
17th November 2006 [All about The Past]
Good Heavens its God as We Understand He She or It
Yes folks that old question about the God we learn to understand. It’s a big thing to either agree or deny or say we don’t exactly know what or who God maybe.
Somewhere though there are some clues as to what this thing called GOD is really about. Since time immemorial has left some form of image of deities in our past, there have been one or many beliefs centred on a God or God’s. We need acknowledge that everyone has a right to their faith and it is truly a personal relationship developed through an understanding with ourselves.
My fellowship indeed has a foundation in spiritual principles about the right way of living, to truth and honesty, to peace and harmony and to living a life in sobriety. It sees the virtues of spiritual, emotional and physical wellbeing as the bedrock of a good way of living. Developing these virtues and faiths in ourselves is really the key to a harmonious existence not only in fellowship but in the real world too.
My last meeting was all about surrendering our will and letting our higher power develop our virtues. As I like to believe in “good conscience” so others believe in a supreme being somewhere and not maybe totally inside or outside us. A part of us if you will. This is their understanding and mine is mine, and there are as many versions of God as there are humans alive today. We need not debate God, we may debate a best way of living to our good conscience and how we might develop our virtues, physical, emotional and spiritual.
A key theme for me as life is always for learning and self-development. We might learn a better way of living in good conscience no longer tormented by demons and fears as real as any entity we may encounter. To keep faith with good conscience in all matters helps us with our honesty and enables our denial to fade as time shows us real life on life’s terms.
Cosy fireside Chats are not our Way
Yes our fellowship is for men and women who prefer not to drink a day at a time. And when we walk through the door to our first encounter with fellows in our fellowship we are struck by good humour, and absolute pain and defiance at, and acceptance of reality. Somewhere we are in between and developing either more fear and disharmony or more peace and calm in our living. Or both!
We are just learners at life, sharing and swapping experience, what works and hope for a day we can live without torments and self-doubts. The removal of self will and destructive compulsions is really our aim. To realise we are merely players and not the centre of the Universe is maybe what we learn fastest when we are most desperate and broken. We get right sized.
Our Right Size - Human Size
Most of us have Ego’s, the principle tool of most failures to get with living life as it is. The more ego the more we want it our way, the more we try make it so, the smaller our world gets. And as we go full tilt at control, we become our own prisoner in the process. Often we need learn again we are part of a community, and society where if we are treating all equally and others are doing similar, then life becomes ever so more manageable than trying to run the whole show. And the other end of the spectrum we are totally controlled and power is exerted over us. Somewhere in the middle is safe ground for us in the fellowship. We learn to be even handed and responsible for our part in all matters.
There are no guarantees in life, we get what we have, we learn to make do, we make the most of and change what we can in ourselves to make life work. Our primary purpose in our fellowship is to be sober so we can endeavour with a clear head and good conscience.
No guarantees as we all get life as it is. I have my ailments, Type 1 diabetes and clinical depression. Not hard to live with? Yes it bloody well is! Once we know where we are though, and when we accept how it affects us, we just learn how to get on a day at a time. Our sharer tonight had been through many of life traumas and cancer and every element of hardship we might encounter in our world. And still they keep faith with their good conscience and live as well as they may, just simply in the day..
Howe hard is this? Not hard at all when we find the right principles and virtues to living as we may. And of course applying the right measures to our progress and not perfection we just get by and then learn more and find peace where none might have ever been found before.
A Good Hour in Good Company
And we put our minds at ease and realise life is just what it is. When we are not driven by ego and pride, when we work our part in life with good conscience we find a path which helps us see our life and value who and what we are.
Or for good conscience can be our guide to good principles of living a day at a time. And in real terms when we treat everyone equally, our world is in balance and we find harmony. The spiritual conundrum we find always so difficult is understanding that it’s in this very moment of now. Judgement is now and forever in our conduct, and always paid in full measure in all that we do. We live our consequences and find acceptance in our lot, by the rules and principles of society and our good conscience. We are never able to get away from our understanding and our good conscience, and learn by our endeavours and mistakes.
And forgiveness needs to be given in all our human doings or we never find our path or redemption in this life or another. Acceptance is the key, so striking we might forget, everything we are is our consequence of living. And as we learn our path, physical, emotional and spiritual, its our journey in real time right now which helps us know and understand our part in life.
Is to live as well as life endeavours allow, in good conscience and in peace and harmony as we work at our living. So often our journey as hard as may be, can be joyful and productive as we find our way.
Comes through endeavour, joy and sadness acceptance and renewal of our faith in good conscience as best we can be. And as time will unfold our path and journey with every element we may face, happenstance and serendipity will play their part too. Or how else would we find our true nature and way to endeavour? And truly find our connection to life on life’s terms?
We have words for every positive and words for every negative, we experience all as life offers and how we respond is in our understanding and good conscience. Beguiled and bewildered? Not so much these days as life on life’s terms is far better with a clear head less denial and an open mind. Letting go my ego pride and intellect let my feelings out and helped me on my way. Blind prejudice and fear will always undo the good conscience of all who encounter what they least understand and dislike in ourselves. Best live and let live.
And go see a good movie, or watch dawn break, or see the sun set on another sober day. And with good company and fellowship as we find, its all the richer just one day at a time.
Peace comes from a troubled mind with acceptance of life in this ever present, present, imperfectly perfect moment of now..
November 17th 2005
Esteem and Ego [Not As Freud Defined]
sometimes its hard to work out how we are really feeling. When we are feeling joyful and happy, our esteem and confidence most likely blossoms. When we feel challenges we may experience our ego alert and aware. Hard sometimes to know where our motivation comes from in our complex world. A journey of self-discovery, as always informed in a moment, oft changing our whole life sometimes missed in a blink of an eye...
November 17th 2004
Anger is the wall of sorrow that one must remove to enter the sphere of happiness.
It is so easy to become angry. As we grow in life experiences, we know what is right for us and we know emphatically what is wrong. So easy to access our stored notions of right and wrong. So easy to become angered at another. They simply might be doing the right thing for them, but that right thing is against our grain, our nature our preference.
And often anger comes with the thoughtless act of another. Stepping on our toes, letting us boil inside. It is so easy to be wrong footed and the anger eats inside.
We have to pause, to sit still or take a breath. We need to get perspective on what angers us. We need to be open to why our anger bites so deep.
Letting go that frightful feeling, accepting the way things unfold and connecting ourselves to options and diversity, opens doors to serenity. So often our biting pang can be quelled simply with a breath, with an understanding, seeing through another’s eyes, their intent is and never was to serve a volley of pain. So our feelings abate and calm returns, with opportunity to change our perspective, or remove ourselves from harm, leaving harm elsewhere or despatched to history and our mind clear for our day.
Not easy to pause and reflect, far easier and serene over time, let our anger go and enjoy the day.
Just For Today And Every Day, Cherish Always...
“The method of prayer & meditation. We often hear it said in meetings that the speaker "hits his knees every morning." Not being brought up Catholic or Muslim, we envisioned that slapping of the knees might be spiritually significant in A.A. When we discovered that the act of prayer was being referred to, we asked why A.A. tells us to get on our knees to pray. We were informed that A.A. makes no such suggestion. In fact, reference to praying on the knees, in the original draft of Step 7, was explicitly removed to prevent the misconception that such a practice was suggested. Moreover, to be on one’s knees as a prior condition to prayer will prevent prayer at many opportunities during the day. If you or your sponsor think that you should be on your knees for correct prayer, then by all means do so. It might just be the best way to pray. For the content of prayer, see Step 11b that follows.” BB Bunch
November 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 10 The Now Inventory
Alcoholics Anonymous | Step Eleven Reading Video Link:
November 2012 | Video Reading How It Works:
November 2012 | Video Reading Into Action :
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Traditions: steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
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