November 14 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 11 Daily Meditation Alcoholics Anonymous Today's Daily Reflections: "intuition: connecting the dots, inspiration: hearing somebody else connecting the dots?" Sometimes we do wonder how we find ourselves able to make leaps from knowledge, information and what is happening now to a new way of living, developing more knowledge and information to change the way we live. Trial and error always one day at a time… Self-aware? Able to pray and look outwards? Meditation to look at our current situation, all part of step eleven today…
Video For Today:
Sometimes we go to a meeting and we can be disturbed by what is being said when someone shares their experience, strength and hope. When a veteran shares: "some things we don't share in meetings, I take these things to people I know, my sponsor or people who can help with the issue…" There are no rules, there are no laws and there are no regulations which tell you not to share some things in meetings. In any meeting. If we are hearing the good, bad and ugly about a person and their life before recovery and in recovery, we are hopefully hearing the truth. If we think we cannot share our truth, we are stumbling at the first hurdle. Fear of being found out as inadequate, and with a feeling of "less than" kept us drinking for a long time. Just because somebody else does not like your situation, your life story, your views on recovery and what happened on a personal level is no reason ever to edit your story. Only you have the right to edit your story, not someone else telling you to. Especially an old timer with an agenda of their own…
Sometimes we can go to a meeting and somebody shares something which sounds inappropriate. And this can involve somebody sharing about a personality in the media who has made some statements about their drinking situation. When a person in the fellowship in a meeting has an opinion about this, it is the opinion of the individual sharing it. It is not for me to chastise that person about their belief or opinions about personalities. And when another person in the meeting, emphasises "AA has no opinion on outside matters," to shut a person up, I feel this is very bad behaviour. No single person speaks for AA. And most emphatically that includes me. The entity which is AA does not have any outside opinions, at the same time it is very important to be respectful of the opinion of each and every individual who has the right to their opinions and their beliefs. And put a person down, for their expression in a meeting is not helpful in my opinion. And that is my opinion. We will tread on each other's toes and share opinions and beliefs, that is all part of fellowship. And at the same time, AA has no opinion on outside matters! Fellowship is a place to develop intuition and inspiration, not to shape it into one person's version or perversion of recovery. An individual need have every freedom to be themselves at all times, so they can develop their own understanding of the universe, nature and their own purpose in living…
As you can see, when I go to meetings and listen to experience strength and hope, especially of people who've been around a long time and have long held opinions, they can agitate and aggravate me. And I'm glad they do, not to judge them particularly, more to judge my own beliefs and opinions about the freedoms that fellowship offer individuals. And the principles of the twelve steps and twelve traditions have two very interesting outcomes, the twelve steps are stopping suicide, and the twelve traditions are stopping homicide. A spiritual kindergarten, it needs a flow of open, honest and willing people to share their truth, to understand how to love themselves and love other people and develop the wisdom of life day by day...
What is the point of sobriety? To endeavour and live life and be happy? Yes, be happy and deal with the difficult sides of life too. Step six and step seven, were mentioned. Six the old life, overloaded with old ways and old behaviour. Step seven, the new life working on shortcomings, developing new ways and new behaviour. As stated in the twelve steps and twelve traditions book, this is the one that sorts out whether or not you want a psychic change. The psychic change is very simple, letting go the old life in step six and beginning a new life through step seven, now how difficult is that to understand? It will be as difficult and complicated as you make it as an individual, and it might be a good idea not to take on the notions and bull crap of other people. As you develop your new outlook, courage to change, faith in the next right thing and the confidence to ask for help when you need it… It is that simple and only made complicated when you won't let go of the old ways and this is usually because we think there is power in them… Now that would be silly, wouldn't it?
DonInLondon 2005-2011
I know now that for a long time my feelings of fear and putting on a brave face made my life difficult. Fear of not being good enough in relationships and the fear of expressing love in case it was not wanted. Today I can feel love and express it, share and be unafraid. I may not be loved back or I may be, and that is good for me today. Love is unconditional, we can cope, live reality, let go and move along. Smiles here, "Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass." Desiderata
A surprise, a knock on the door and a friend is there, a moment in their company and the world lights up. Inspired and happy, the day is brighter. In recovery, a moment can bring a whole day into perspective; reinforce all the reasons why we live one day at a time, see all the possibilities, keep our feet on the ground, work out what we can do and cannot do, moment to imperfectly perfect moment, experience and wisdom is making the difference today...
November 14 2010 ~ Intuition and inspiration: I hear inspiration in recovery as we share experience, strength and hope with each other in meetings, the power of the many experiences greater than my own. As I practice recovery principles in all my affairs: truth, love and wisdom grow and improve my intuition as I live sober today...
November 14 2010 ~ Prayer and meditation helps me improve my conscious contact with reality. I can be human sized in my emotional and spiritual living. Always in the action, understanding my feelings and actions as they are happening, no longer burdened by the past or fearing the future, coping in the moment of now...
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AA Daily Reflections ~ "INTUITION AND INSPIRATION" we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 86
I invest my time in what I truly love. Step Eleven is a discipline that allows me and my Higher Power to be together, reminding me that, with God’s help, intuition and inspiration are possible. Practice of the Step brings on self-love. In a consistent attempt to improve my conscious contact with a Higher Power, I am subtly reminded of my unhealthy past, with its patterns of grandiose thinking and false feeling of omnipotence. When I ask for the power to carry out God’s will for me, I am made aware of my powerlessness. Humility and a healthy self-love are compatible, a direct result of working Step Eleven."
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November 14 2007
DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ I hear the Sound of Distant Thrums
Noise In The Key of Strife
Feels like its been a bit noisy in my head. A lot of email, some videos and listening to quite a few nearby. Mutuality and support is the key I believe to being connected and in the day.
Striving
Every day just a little bit more?
Balance at a 100%
When we are aware that our brains work at 100% all the time, consciously and unconsciously. We don’t always know what is under the radar in our heads, spinning along as we go consciously about our living, the sum of all the parts is 100%
Overload
So easy. We add more to our agendas most days and forget things unconsciously, the knowledge is embedded somewhere ready for us to pick up where we left of before. Or we lose what we don’t use.
Skills and Education
All the Skills and Education, learned often by rote. How useful is it, to fill our heads with things we may not utilise ever. How awful though, for us Magpies who pick up information and wonder where its stored and where it may emerge in the future.
We forget, or do we? Certainly we do forget and yet somehow like an old computer, residues and bits still stick somewhere.
Reference Books
If I could I would live in a Library! I do in essence with a computer at hand and a world of information at my fingertips.
Brain Power and Discernment
With luck we learn wisdom, retain the useful and forget that which has less use to us. We can only hope or we are full of useless and conflicting information.
Power of Denial
Even when we think and feel we are on track, we can find ourselves blocked or worse may feel we have lost a lot of time going the wrong way.
Attitude to the Positive
Letting go and learning new paths indeed is the answer today. Just simple connections and movement to a place where we can be happy, make a life work, be enriched in our interests and live with enough of our needs met.
The World At Our Feet?
Most likely it’s the opposite. Most likely we are gently moving to understanding the reality of living is peace. War and Hate so utilised these days to frame living and being. It is a sadness we might never have expected after centuries of carnage.
Yet we humans just play catch up often, made so by past generations, made mad in the day by prejudice we never needed to make our living work. Hostages to fortunes won hard and made our protection from tyranny. So today how am I feeling?
Africa
I saw on TV last night the peril of warfare meted out on children often blown up by old war armaments and munitions, landmines. A future generation living with disabilities and much worse a calamity left from the past as nation moves against nation, civilisation so uncivilised, and more war to come as we slip and slide along. Grief and tears for those innocents, until they too follow and find the appeal of war. A deeper sadness as all our potential is conditioned one way and another.
Today
Off to a mid-day meeting of fellowship and tonight, some reflections and care too, just for today.
14th November 2006
What You See Is What You Get WYSIWYG
What do we see and what do we get. Well at a meeting tonight I got good conscious contact with people I have never met, a chance to listen to a mate and a chance to share some stuff. Its all good with a few bad bits. A bit like the “Curate’s Egg.”
What I see every day for me is a need to check on what is going on, its part of my daily routines now. And even though’ they are daily I can be so forgetful. Maybe its an age thing or just me. Does not matter.
Tea boy
I am the ‘Tea Boy’ at my local fellowship of friends in recovery meeting. And work alongside another fellow in recovery called “X.” We are anonymous as it goes so we don’t give out names..
And the meeting was really good in parts, as tea maker I get a chance to greet and make friends and this is very pleasing. As well as this I like to get with the programme and keep on track. The fellowship helps and I get along with most I cope with.
Warning Signs
There are some warning signs that depression is on its way, hard to put my finger on it, at the same time I realise there is a skin deep feeling in me and I might break down any moment it is than thin. it’s a sure sign also I have pushed a bit too far in helping others. To help others I may look inwards at what is happening to me.
Three Measures
Emotional, Physical and Spiritual: These are three good ways to look at how I am doing. A personal inventory if you will. Done daily and reasonably thoroughly and I keep in touch with what goes on for me.
Emotional
I feel cross and agitated that some who use me, and my time and call and sit with me, they just are not listening and I might be elsewhere. For all their need of comfort and counsel they take nothing in really and this is really a pain. They would all be better together sitting and complaining and I better deployed elsewhere and not involved as really I am just a listening post. Or maybe job done and listening post is all that they needed. But none of them were really doing one thing for me. Not one. I don’t mind? Actually I do mind, as more time has been given over and not enough time spent in my own endeavours. So I am home and unwinding.
Spiritual
At one with my day? Well I am to a large extent in the day and in the moment and keeping a weather eye to my internal workings, which are tired and hurting somewhat.
In simple terms I am uncertain where things are in all my doings and dissonance these days does not help me too well. If ever it did. My radar is on and I feel at one with my purpose and wellbeing mostly, hence my resolve to commit more time to being and being me…
Physical
A bit of a disaster area as walking is proving a bit of a challenge over any distance as the neuropathy pain is there. And blood sugars are ok with the diabetic management. And yet depression is clearly setting itself up in my head. And I am cycling and swimming as walking is out. But there is general fatigue too bothering me. There are some small things which lead me to believe there are some problems ahead, no need to elaborate yet, as yet is yet to happen, but I have two appointments to seek further advice. And on this occasion I’ll go prepared more fully with a written review. This may be helpful for someone who can take an overview, besides me of course. And there is an issue of medication which is unhelpful to me…
So in all not so bad today. And as our meeting tonight was about inventory taking of ourselves, I am really pleased it prompted me to write it down and do this more often…
A mate of mine did the speaking tonight and he was genuine and authentic. It makes me realise just how close friendships become in our fellowship, a loose tight alliance of people who get on. We get on with recovery as best we may, and most often do without much to say.
Saying a few words tonight helped me let out some of my annoyance at one other who nearly made me harbour a resentment. After a long time on the phone yesterday, I heard the synthesis tonight of how it was digested. Plainly not very well it seems. Not anyone’s fault I guess and that is how it is. It teaches me once again that recovery goes at its own pace in everyone’s way and will not be hurried or learned quickly except by daily practice!
Practical Steps to Living
Yes practical steps to living a day at a time. Practice and work, not sitting on my backside or them sitting on theirs, and I guess there is where the folly may be. After all how long did it take me? I don’t have a clue and it was in my own time and not someone else’s.
So practical steps do take time and we learn as we go, there are no right or wrong ways, just suggestions to make our lives work…
I hope all is well and well enough tonight to let some things go as my spirits may allow.
Spiritual enlightenment makes no dent in the end, unless we realise whatever the cards we are dealt, we just live as we may, as best we can in the ever present, present moment of now. The moment where truth can be known and so often clouded with denial it simply does take lifetimes to find our path and make good on our journey’s to serenity.
14th November 2006
Hi [xxxxx],
goodness me you must have radar. smiles the post on the BBC, just squeezed it in before the 9-00 PM deadline...
Please don't get too concerned [xxxxx], having had plenty of time to adjust to non-reactive phases in my mood, depression per se is not me in totality, it is merely as I say, a phase. I never am quite sure when it will be about, and the warning signs which begin with a thin veneer between me and my emotional insides, it is just there. I am not particularly upset by it, as you know acceptance for me these days is much more a done deal.
What I mean really is acknowledging it’s a part of living, means I don't make it worse by pretending its not there. what I do is pretty much accept it and deal with it. I have been through this so many times without self-knowledge that knowing is far preferred and will not undo my regime of helping myself to keep as well as I can. And at the same time, although I have spent a considerable amount of time explaining this via the posts and on the web, I am not letting the incapacities define me, or use them as a way to control or manipulate myself or my connections with the world.
I see quite often these days, people become entrapped by the problems they face, and use their situation to keep control over elements of life, especially people around them. I have seen clearly in recent times how others use their recovery and other conditions to manipulate themselves and those who might be involved with them in family and also health professionals. And I have always tried not to do this. At the same time recognise my situation too. I don't know if this makes any sense, I hope it does.
Stephen Fry is a good example, he has exposed his vulnerabilities and gets on with life as life can be led. And similarly when in a down swing all I need to is keep people in the loop, and so they know some things can be difficult, at the same time treat me the same as always, and know you need not change anything about your way of being with me. Just be your even good self and don't worry unduly.
One Friend is ok by the way, I suspect they have had a good read of the posts. And they are ok, maybe they were more circumspect yesterday and did not ask for longer conversations. Another friend who spends all their time reading self-help books is full of bull still. And I guess my venting was a frustration with their denials and their egocentric nature. And then I laugh because so am I to a certain extent.
I am happy to be in contact [xxxxx], make no mistake, friendship is key to living and being involved keeps us sane, and more aware of our own fragility and that of others too. And as you reiterate, we have just so much capacity, and then we need a bit of time to recharge batteries. And also we need develop more friends and connections or our importance is too big when we may be the only one. A group of good close friends are more able to be about as and when, than one friend we share a lot of time with. So the fellowship works when we have plenty of contacts to keep our friendships right sized and more than one. The danger in some of this is if we identify one key friend, if they get into difficulty, then we can become bereft of contact, worse we join them in their downswing and go under because of it. So the developing of new friendships in the fellowship is key. Like I mentioned before, having lots of phone numbers of people in recovery, we know have strong links and a broad set of connections means we always have contact with someone.
And my diligence in the programme, and setting up an extensive network? I realise I have done this over time so when I may blow a mental gasket, I am not waiting on one person to be available or one person to be my support network. And this works both ways as I too need to be quiet and to a degree isolated and still go to meetings and turn up. I just might be quieter than usual, or more effusive because effusiveness often comes along before the mood takes a dip. I still am uncertain where I am in it, and that is ok, as there is no way to predict or see a pattern emerge other than signs, the timing element is not predictable.
Smiles again too, in the letting go department, cognitive therapy, and counselling have helped me enormously, at the same time, chemistry and how my body reacts to life, well some things can be fixed, and some things we live with. Knowing what is going on is the key. And being powerless over some capacities does not make me more depressed in merely helps me understand the phase as is. And nature and self-care will do the rest, with a little help from my friends, who help me breathe rather than suffocate in the self-pity of misery from not knowing what is going on.
Take care, chat later, Don xx
November 14th 2005
When Asked
It can be hard to share what we are, especially when we have uncertainty. Our journey through life leads us to great moments where clarity is afforded at the darkest moment. As we move forward and bounce back to new opportunities we wonder how to relate to our new world, as another has gone for good. There is just one way, to embrace our truth, develop our honest outlook and be willing to accept our oneness with this day and those to come.
Hark back and devote time to old times with care, they are our learning and our undoing of the future. We have feet of clay when we hold fast to old wrecks and decaying notions of safety, for we do not live in our history. We live in our present, the ever present present and we might be mindful how it impacts. What follows is an extract from a hastily written note to another
across an Ocean, a real one in the present and not the usual one across an Ocean of time, where it is lost to others senses…
[ excerpt ]
"Darwin to Jung! Smiles here, we are lucky to develop our eclectic philosophies and learn
from history. I am glad my studies took me all over the "origin" map of life and somehow never became a devotee of one particular exponent of truth, as we know it...
Like you I have never felt the need to plan life, or have a life plan to work to and measure up to. Something in me held back from absolutes and traditional safe harbours. I suspect it was fear of... so many things, not being good enough, not wanting to miss out on my wanderings, not able to accept any human as master over my destiny, especially me. Sounds negative maybe when I put it like that, it isn't meant to be. At the same time, the world seems full of promise even though the wisdom of our fellows could do with some development.
These days, well the corporate life I left behind some time ago. It was making me ill. And the help and support I give is very much on a one to one basis. I like my city life, with every fast moment of hurry, and every moment to pause and reflect. Through a lot of experiences, some would prefer to miss in life, some joy comes. It strikes me as Zen and Tao in action. For me, the sadness of life and joy enable a more deep, resonant feel for this world. Somehow life's tragedies allow our perceptions to grow beyond our safe boundaries. I am sure we all face harsh times and endurance, each as hard and difficult to fathom or imagine. There is no measure or value to put on life's joy and sadness for each of us has equal capacity and equal experience. How we behave is our reaction, unique to each of us and similar enough we can relate."
November 14th 2004
Get Busy
Instead of losing sleep over whatever I have done wrong, let me get busy doing something right
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Just For Today And Every Day, Cherish Always...
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AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve
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“The method of prayer & meditation. We often hear it said in meetings that the speaker "hits his knees every morning." Not being brought up Catholic or Muslim, we envisioned that slapping of the knees might be spiritually significant in A.A. When we discovered that the act of prayer was being referred to, we asked why A.A. tells us to get on our knees to pray. We were informed that A.A. makes no such suggestion. In fact, reference to praying on the knees, in the original draft of Step 7, was explicitly removed to prevent the misconception that such a practice was suggested. Moreover, to be on one’s knees as a prior condition to prayer will prevent prayer at many opportunities during the day. If you or your sponsor think that you should be on your knees for correct prayer, then by all means do so. It might just be the best way to pray. For the content of prayer, see Step 11b that follows.” BB Bunch
November 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 10 The Now Inventory
Alcoholics Anonymous | Step Eleven Reading Video Link:
November 2012 | Video Reading How It Works:
November 2012 | Video Reading Into Action :
November 2012 | Playlist All About Step Eleven:
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Traditions: steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
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Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
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