October 7 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 10 The Now Inventory Alcoholics Anonymous Today's Daily Reflections: "it becomes second nature to realise that I have a choice about how I will respond to life today…" Good news, bad news, and ugly news can make me feel and react in a good, bad or ugly way. The way I feel about things, has a great impact on how I think and the actions I take, it does become a choice, a real and responsible choice to what I do next…
Video For Today:
"Continued to take personal inventory…" How on Earth to do that? In my case I go back to step six, the troublesome aspects where an overabundance of fear, covering up and putting on a brave face, and ego is the vanity panel, covering up shame and guilt about the past and ignorance I may have today. Very easy to spot fear, a brave face and ego in myself. Then I check out how I'm doing with my shortcomings: courage to change? Faith in doing the next right thing? And confidence that if I don't know what to do, I can ask with humility? Sometimes it feels like an internal battle, I want to close down, I don't want to share my misery, and the world can take a running jump. Or I can try for openness, being honest about myself and my situation, and willing to change and ask for help…
If I start to feel uncomfortable about what is going on, I can actually say, "I feel uncomfortable about what is happening right now." This alerts the world that I, Don feel uncomfortable and wrong footed. Some people will avoid my discomfort, some people might be happy I am uncomfortable, but once I've said it, I can't take it back and maybe I might get some help. If no help is forthcoming, time for a change! It might be I am with the wrong people, in the wrong place trying to do the wrong thing? Or I might be just wrong!
Being able to respond in the moment of now is something we learn by being open honest and willing to change. It does not mean that the rest of the world is in the same frame of mind. So we will have challenges every single day with taking inventory and our understanding of step six and step seven. Step six days could be quite grumpy, tedious and full of unhelpful internal malevolence. Step seven days might be full of joyful, insightful and wonderful experiences. Or we may have a bit of both step six and step seven just for today. As long as we know what is going on, we can find the truth of now and probably deal with life on life's terms and get help when we need it in the moment and not tomorrow and not next week…
"Barking up the wrong tree?" In the emotional and spiritual world of fellowship, understanding how we feel about life in the moment of now and can cope with it… More often than not we can be barking up the wrong tree because there is nothing up the tree to bark at! We are just feeling barking mad! And we all have days like that, when I have those days it’s important for me to get to meetings and let out and express all those woofs, and hopefully somebody will tickle my tummy and I will feel right with the world just for a day… Or if nobody tickles my tummy, I go home and sit in my basket, Pull my tail in and sulk a bit? I have been known to do this and fortunately that is a very rare occurrence these days… Woof woof…
Being in fellowship means I can be sober. And I have learned it is always the many in fellowship who help me day by day. Sometimes flattery and over confidence might lead me to believe I know better than you and everyone about how sober works. I don’t, it works now with help and support always…
Sharing with a newcomer last night, they find the advice and suggestions made by fellows in the rooms are often different and contradictory. I know every day is different, we all change and situations change. Listening for similarities and evidence identifies the sober way forward just for a day, what works today, may not tomorrow…
After Eights meeting tonight, warmth on a night where the autumn chill is setting in, leaves blowing in the wind... Seeing people I know, and newcomers, one behind me and one next to me. A few gentle words of encouragement for everyone new from the chair. And from me, a snatched conversation here and there. All ages and backgrounds, one primary purpose, love and compassion. To love, be loved and useful just for today. Now that is a kind of magic...
October 7 2010 ~ dear diary, I had a great day, sober and ready, feeling good, I was in the moment most of the time, was able to make good choices and be truthful about my feelings and outlook with all concerned. I wrote a gratitude list, and a step ten, forgave myself and everyone as the day went along, happy in the moment!
October 7 2010 ~ a daily reprieve contingent on our spiritual condition. What would we do without step ten, and a gratitude list? Most likely wake up with yesterday’s news still irritating us, and what about today without some meditation and reflection for breakfast? It is our choice, fresh and ready or an emotional hangover today...
Be your own best friend first! Step ten, a daily reminder that when we are disturbed, the disturbance is inside us and not in other people, unless we they have been disturbed by us or other situations. The daily reminder is that we are responsible for how we feel now and continue to feel about people places and things. Acceptance of how things are right now is simply a starting point. It can go something like this:
Asserting our situation (my outlook): First ask myself, how am I feeling? Second why am I feeling this way? And third, what can I do? This is a look inside our own feelings and why and what to do. For example, I feel lonely right now and out of sorts, I have been isolating and not in touch with fellowship or family or friends. Answer, make a call, go to a meeting, call family or friends make a plan to see them. A way to stop feeling lonely and remind ourselves we need to make the effort not them! Expecting something is resentment under construction.
Empathy with others (our collective feelings and outlook): First ask this question together, is this situation disturbing both us? Why is it disturbing? And what can we do about this? For example, a missed call, a missed meeting with them. We start with, how we feel, “I care about you, and I am sorry I missed talking with you.” We acknowledge the value we place on the relationship and how we feel about them. We then share what has disturbed us, and can talk about the situation without undermining their esteem…
Esteem and Confidence
Trying to be our own best friend, so we may befriend others is difficult. A tough ask when we have felt less than useful and have not built our esteem through positive attitudes and behaviour. This is what the twelve steps offer us in practical ways. A way to live sober and find our path. We will stumble, make lots of positive mistakes, misunderstand everything from time to time and feel lost. And as we gain experience, we learn it is okay to feel disturbed and find out why using step ten.
Step Ten - Assertiveness and Empathy
Assertive How Am I Feeling Why What Can I Do
Empathy How Are We Feeling Why What Can We Do
As we learn to be assertive about our feelings, we can develop esteem and confidence, as we learn about each other’s feelings, we develop empathy. Step ten is finding proportion and balance in our living and in situations which are disturbing and also when it is all running smoothly. We practice and write step tens to develop our process of self-examination and how to change our outlook, attitudes and behaviour. Easy to suggest, and difficult to do!
AA Daily Reflections ~ "DAILY MONITORING Continued to take personal inventory. . . . . TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88
The spiritual axiom referred to in the Tenth Step-”every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us”-also tells me that there are no exceptions to it. No matter how unreasonable others may seem, I am responsible for not reacting negatively. Regardless of what is happening around me I will always have the prerogative, and the responsibility, of choosing what happens within me. I am the creator of my own reality. When I take my daily inventory, I know that I must stop judging others. If I judge others, I am probably judging myself. Whoever is upsetting me most is my best teacher. I have much to learn from him or her, and in my heart, I should thank that person"
October 7 2007
DonInLondon - ‘Day in the Life’ Easy Does It
Used as an invocation to enjoy the present and not worry about the future.
I have been out to my first meeting of the fellowship this morning. Down at Flood St. the 9:30 AM topic meeting. Today was AA [All About] - Gratitude.
As we are always trying to make the best of, do the next right thing, then Carpe Diem is really very appropriate for us alcoholics in recovery.
The Daily Reprieve
I suppose it’s a great day when we are relieved not to have to drink anymore. This may read as an odd way of life for many who enjoy a tipple. Not so for anyone driven to drink and cannot stop.
October 7th 2006
Anarchy rules OK? - Our Fellowship
Well what would our fellowship be if we were all the same? Following on from yesterday’s meeting, (that was Thursday as this post will not appear till Saturday) I feel good about being in the fellowship of AA. A bunch of people keeping sober at day at a time and completely different in personality, job and everyday life. So different except for the same thing, we don’t drink a day at a time.
Well it’s been pretty good. And I went to Argos to take some stuff back which was faulty and they were really good about it. I forget people can be nice when we keep receipts and know what’s wrong. It was a really heavy bag and made my body complain. I am frustrated a bit by limitations, but happy to know why I have them. That is manageable.
And getting to see the Cat this morning, it seems her Radar knows her owner returns today and me the Cat sitter will be gone. There we a few snarls this morning as she caught me unawares with her food preparation. Anyways it was uneventful.
He was really interested in my past today, as I chatted about what I used to do and how things are now. Seems my transition to a different life, from a City Career, with all the trappings of success, to a more frugal existence and acceptance of my lot, well it is a big change. He seems to see my situation for what it is and me too. Living on the minimum as government decides, with support where I can get it. I am managing the diabetes and its onset ok, and the pain management is working to an extent. We agreed my medications were ok and there might be improvement over time in the clinical depression and cycles or waves with ups and downs. And the reality I guess, that it’s a part of me.
I am to keep with my daily routines, type 1 diabetes management, monitoring and pain assessment, see him sooner rather than later if things go off course. And keep a close watch on my mood and what is happening. My journal helps me do this as I go along. And the stuff about checking my mood and feelings daily helps a lot to ensure the regime I am on is working as best it can. Nothing makes things the normal we might imagine, we just get where we go to! And this is the heart of any recovery from any condition, being realistic about where we are and the possibilities we have as a consequence.
He also said he was willing to be a contact point for any agencies who need more information about me, from the Dept. of Work and Pensions, to GP and local authority for reasons of emergency housing, for this particular homeless person, this is a relief as he knows me better than anyone else, apart from me of course.
And we agreed I do need to check out the other stuff with my hip and back, old accidents which are aggravating my pain and exercise regime. You know riding the bike, well its ok as long as I don’t go too far, and end up unconscious with a hypo, or in so much pain I get stuck somewhere! Smiles this dumb fool can do this as I always try harder, when being more considered is better for me!
An afternoon of
Chucking out rubbish and stuff. I seem able to collect paper and circulars, and things pile up quickly.
And it was a great meeting for me as I was able to listen and hear well. I arrived early and was able to speak with a few friends I know, as we do. A loose alliance I have to say. And catch up on people’s weeks.
The meeting confirmed my view we are all a bunch of diverse personalities, prone to our own path and individual way to make recovery work. And we use fellowship, a bunch of suggestions and some traditions to make us the best fellowship ever. One which works, tolerates all and is equal in its response to everyone. No leaders and just fellows all equal to living a day at a time without drink. The good news, we all learn from each other, life ain’t perfect and we all **** it up regularly as we get our wisdom! And we all know we keep coming back even when the worst can happen and that usually is to drink again. Even if we do, we can keep coming back and find help and support whatever the consequences are, as we find a way to make life work. It’s definitely a “kinda magic” in my book!
Well if I can dodge the rain I’ll use the bike, I had to tie it up outside as I have run out of energy to get it up the stairs. Two meetings hopefully and see my family, now no doubt brown from their holidays. it’s a few years since I went anywhere! Just as well, recovery is a full time job in itself in early days. And I am in year three, a youngster.
We are always Newcomers
And I need remind myself I need to be careful to keep my outlook fresh and treat each day as a new one. Do all the right things to keep my way of life clear and understood, and remind myself I am always new to this present day, the ever present, present. Now that’s spiritual as all the philosopher’s show, it is the connection to this moment in time which helps spiritual development. Our connection may be improved as we learn how, through meditation and learning and most of all application of our full awareness, without filters to the here and now. And that is the essence of living in the moment.
Mind body and breath in the here and now, as ancient a reflection and understanding of Providence and Nature as it is and will ever be. May good conscience be my and our guide today…
Just For Today And Every Day, Cherish Always
Step 10 "Although all inventories are alike in principle, the time factor does distinguish one from another. There's the spot-check inventory, taken at any time of the day, whenever we find ourselves getting tangled up. There's the one we take at day's end, when we review the happenings of the hours just past. Here we cast up a balance sheet, crediting ourselves with things well done, and chalking up debits where due. Then there are those occasions when alone, or in the company of our sponsor or spiritual adviser, we make a careful review of our progress since the last time. Many A.A.'s go in for annual or semi-annual house-cleanings. Many of us also like the experience of an occasional retreat from the outside world where we can quiet down for an undisturbed day or so of self-overhaul and meditation.”
October 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 10 The Now Inventory
Alcoholics Anonymous | Step Ten Reading Video Link:
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October 2012 | Playlist All About Step Ten :
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Traditions: steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
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