Alcoholics Anonymous Blog October 16 2014 “Reality Check”
Video October 16 Video
It may be my step ten revision month, "continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." And then out of the blue, and without any conditions, a very important person in my life decided to make amends to me as part of their step nine, "made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." I was truly amazed, and humbled, and something I never imagined.
For anyone to make amends is truly amazing, because we are on a path which requires courage, faith and confidence. Fear, pride and ego do not have a place when making amends, but when we practice these principles, it can be very difficult without help or support. And we need guidance usually from another human being, when it comes to understanding that amends are not about what they did, it is about what we did. And sometimes, making the amends only becomes possible when we have completed step four, understood through step five our impact and our part in matters. And really understanding step six, the defects are always with us and available to justify our part in matters.
The very important person who made amends to me, is immersing themselves in recovery. And the truth of recovery is understanding what happened in the past and what was driving us crazy and making very prejudicial judgements. In recovery we learn all about the nature and disaster addiction causes. I know I was an incomplete person under the influence. And the amend made to me was all about not really understanding what I was going through. And it is only in recovery often that amends can be made to clear the wreckage of the past. I never expected or anticipated any amends being made to me and it was overwhelming and a gift given with love.
Indeed, I need make amends to this very important person as well, because both of us had been disabled for many years without realising it, by the worst of all diseases, the disease which impacts so deeply on the psyche, we deny we have it in the first place. This particular amend to me I hope opens the door to a big part of life which I thought had been lost forever.
And I am hoping that in time, another set of amends may happen which are nothing to do with me, and actually may be more important in the lives of very important people in my life. It’s not the sort of thing which happens overnight, it is all about living amend we make in recovery by being sober and learning how to be included again. And I'm hoping that amends will bring important people in my life together once more. But I can't make it happen, and it would be wrong for me to influence anyone involved. Let time and inclination, and a growing understanding happen. Anything I might do could undermine outcomes even though they may impact on me greatly.
Step Ten Reading 12 & 12
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