Alcoholics Anonymous Blog October 13 2014 “Reality Check”
A few days of meetings, and our outlook might improve? Absolutely true for me these last few days. Sometimes we get hot and bothered, angry and resentful because the world just does not work. Not only is it not working, sometimes it seems that the whole world has no clue what it's doing to me! And writing that makes me laugh.
October being my step ten revision month, making amends as I go, I forgive everybody everything, and if it doesn't work today, "fuck them," and try again tomorrow. Actually most days, there are no lingering feelings of anger and resentment, because I am learning more about acceptance of life on life's terms with every second that passes. Somewhere it says something about, "if I do not know what's right for me, how on earth can I know what's right for you?" And this was very relevant in meetings over the last week or two.
Part of recovery is asking for help, and the way we give feedback to people or anyone who asks for help need really be based on a realistic approach in the moment of now. And if I am not sure what's right for me, and somebody asks for help, probably the best response is to have a discussion rather than pollute another person with our outlook on life. But of course people in recovery can overstep and judge harshly and tell people how to improve their lives. Of course there is peril, in being a know it all, and I witnessed just how angry a person can become, when the suggestions which might have been useful were replaced with dogmatic and irrelevant criticisms.
Even when a person may have over twenty years of recovery, they still must not judge others, or they get judged and sometimes might get a bloodied nose as a result. Fortunately that did not happen, but on this occasion I could have understood, one person resorting to the worst behaviour, following a very unpleasant and uncalled for set of remarks of a personal nature. Even if the remarks had any truth in them, in my humble opinion that sort of opinion and criticism is that of a self-righteous bully. Self-righteous self-belief does not mean that the person with self-belief and self-righteousness is in any way qualified to inflict their outlook and judgemental incompetence on another. I had teachers who used to do this, and I became gifted in the dumb insolence department as a result.
I am always grateful to be reminded that our fellowship is about emotional and spiritual well-being and development. We were reading through step twelve earlier, and it always strikes me that the steps as written, they offer a way to live in the moment of now. And in step twelve, the reading is about all the steps working to enable anyone anywhere to make the best of reality, and try live in the present moment. And in particular, we learn the answers to life as we go along through experience. And the spiritual angle is about living in the ever present moment, not in our history and not wishing for a future without any foundation in reality. In other words we are not God, and we can make the best of what is, rather than puzzle over our lack of godlike qualities.
The steps are not hierarchical, and having learned about the steps, we do not reach a pass or graduation point. Indeed the best way the steps work is graduation sober for a whole day and the opportunity to start over the next day. Whatever our useful endeavour may be, family, work, connections and affiliations, the answers to life happen as we go along. Old solutions are out of date often as soon as they have worked, because life moves on and our reality changes. So the idea or notion that we can do the steps and forget them simply will not work. The steps are like pontoons, loosely held together on an ocean of alcohol. And the wonder of life is how we continue to find balance in this very difficult world.
Step Ten Reading 12 & 12
Alcoholics Anonymous Videos, AA is for Alcoholics, AA 12 Steps, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,