Alcoholics Anonymous Blog Video August 8 2014
I travelled down to Bath Spa, to see my mum and my sister. Both of them are very okay with what has happened over recent times, inasmuch as they are coping with changes for my mum. Mum had breast cancer a couple of years ago and although she coped well and still takes medication, it has taken its toll. A recent heart condition developed, mum was in hospital for a few days, and now has more medication to take daily. Not very easy for an eighty-two-year-old, and it was just right to see her yesterday. Mum cried when I got there, and she said that she had missed me. We had a good time and the conversation between the three of us was very helpful. I needed to see her, my mum, and of course my sister, my sister being the person who has really helped mum going on a daily basis, physically and mentally. Even though we are in daily contact by phone, being there counted a great deal and more than I realised.
Every day, recovery is helping me deal with my feelings in the moment, and I keep on learning what I can do and what I cannot do and the wisdom to know the difference. Travelling anywhere is quite a chore. Having got to the bus stop yesterday, my walking capacities diminished very quickly, so I had to get a taxi to the train station. And these days the platforms for trains are very long indeed. Being a bit wobbly on my feet, the difference between the last time I travelled on the train to now is quite different. I do accept the difficulties I have, it made me very awkward physically, and the consequences are quite painful afterwards. Making the effort on my own, well, probably I would have been better escorted, and I wonder how I will do this again. I will of course do this again!
Yesterday was a scorcher! And I love hot weather, and how people are when the sun is out. And travelling albeit extremely uncomfortable, it is always a delight seeing people and the way they are. Train journeys these days, you have to have a booking and a reserved seat or there is no chance of any comfort. And people do not believe that seats can be reserved, and sometimes you have to turf a person out of your own reserved accommodation. It only took a gentle nudge and reminder, but in the past there has been downright refusal to move. Assertive skills are very important. And especially important, not to be aggressive when people start to act out and shout their entitlements. They too have paid!
On my way back home, I tried the tube, from blistering hot on the train, to refreshing air-conditioning in the London Underground when on the tube train, but not on the platform. The further I travelled on foot, the slower I got, and it is fascinating, because in the past I was a regular traveller on the tube. Thirty years ago, I would leap down the stairs, and run up the stairs. So the slow trudge yesterday, a reminder of times past and a wry smile, even though I was wincing in pain, that I am still alive if not kicking today. Very exhausting, and yet worth it to try. Sensibility would have been to get a taxi, but I just wanted to see people going about their natural doings and be part of the madding crowd.
Funnily enough, taking a journey and seeing the difference between how it used to be, and how it is today reveals all the changes age makes, and what happens to any human getting older and being able to understand the feelings that these changes make. I don't have any regrets, unless I consider what it would been like to be married and have children. By the time I got straightened out, it certainly went off the agenda. And rightly so in my opinion. There is sadness in those recollections, at the same time there are treasured and cherished encounters which I would not have had, had life turned out different. We are the best we can be, and sometimes looking back, if only we had been better informed? Looking back, I simply had what I had, and never asked for direct help or direction from anyone. How things change! These days I can ask for help and usually it comes in some form or another. And never to my timetable!
So important to keep in touch with those we love and cherish, one day at a time.
Step Eight Reading 12 And 12
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