Alcoholics Anonymous Blog Video August 6 2014
Keeping my side of the Street clean often requires a really big sweeping brush. First, I need to do this on a daily basis, which is step ten. Second, I need to be aware that things occurring today, events which include people places and things can stir up memories from the past, step four and step eight, for example the tape playing in my head can be, "here we go again!" Big boulders from the past might need a bit of "emotional dynamite" to shift my feelings and reactions to follow. Much of this has a lot to do with trust.
Trust: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. Often said within the Fellowship; "trust God, clean house." In essence in this case in my world, trust to God, surrender to the truth, love and wisdom of now. In surrendering to the truth, it is the truth learned through others and not just my opinion which counts most. Trust: in being open, honest and willing in all my dealings today. And the first casualty in conflict of any kind is truth.
Trust in people places and things, keeping my side of the Street clean and not judging others on their ability or capacities when I am living my twelve steps. What do I do when I know that for reasons of fear, pride and ego, that another person is being dishonest? And if a person is being dishonest about other matters, which do not directly involve me personally, how do I challenge and do I have a right to challenge their wrongful doings?
How do we trust people who have a long history of doing the wrong things for reasons they may feel are right? What about those who have an outlook formed over many years that it is okay to have an attitude of: "getting away with it." And if we are aware that some feel it is okay to get one over on other people, places and things, whatever their reasons, and then I trust them in their dealings with me, am I fooling myself that I am immune to being played, especially when they don't realise what they're doing? How do I keep my side of the Street clean?
The emotional and spiritual journey, feeling life right sized in the moment of now is often based on: hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil. In other words gossip, even when it is based on truth can be very damaging. In order to keep my side of the Street clean, if anybody asks me to indulge in closed down, dishonest and old and unwilling behaviour, I can say no and keep my side of the Street clean. And I do not need to become enmeshed in dishonest behaviour, or I lose track of myself and the twelve steps. Same applies to the traditions. I am not the judge of others, they can be busy judging me and that's okay providing I am on my own open honest and willing path.
Emotional greed, wanting something that we have not earned through honest and painstaking endeavour. Starved of emotional connection, love and cherishing often causes people to act out in lust and passion. From having nothing, to gluttony, the extremes where there is no balancing between. Love and cherishing is something we develop, if we have that good fortune and are willing to put in the effort. Emotional balance between two people, is not about power and control, it is about freedom to be open, honest and willing in shared endeavours which become lasting adventures. It all takes time and endeavour.
Trusting others: and how on earth do people trust me? It is a journey of experience, and sometimes in the past, I have broken secrets when I have been heartbroken. Horrible. In recovery, when things are said in confidence, we have a duty of care to ourselves and those who are in our lives. And the best we can do is encourage people to be truthful to themselves and then face the impact of that truth based on their own principles and not my principles. Which is why a friend of mine often says that God is here to forgive, and it is not for me to judge. And around that there could be a discussion which would last for eternity.
Life is difficult, and to make it less difficult, surrendering to the truth is far more important than trying to excuse old attitudes and old behaviour. Stopping drinking as an addict or alcoholic is the first step and then we need to learn about sobriety. This is a daily journey which becomes more meaningful the more open honest and willing we are to surrender to the truth today. The dark secrets, the bending of truth leads to bending the world and taking from the world rather than giving to it, becoming a citizen of the world, rather than a taker from the world. When we take from the world without entitlement, just because we can, it undermines trust and integrity. We don't actually get away with anything, we do suffer when we try, because the first person we break trust with is ourselves. And when we break trust with ourselves, it is far easier to break trust with others as we undervalue life itself. You and if you are a
Someone I know used to say to me, there are eleven commandments and the eleventh is: "don't get found out!" There are only Ten Commandments which are very hard in themselves and the eleventh described here, "don't get found out!" It means that the Ten Commandments or whatever your principles of open honest and willing are undermined in everything you do. Far easier to work an open, honest and willing life, asking for help to find our way and surrender to the truth of now. If it cannot be done honestly under the current conditions today, better not to do it at all?
Step Eight Reading 12 And 12
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