Alcoholics Anonymous Blog/Video August 27 DonInLondon Step 8 "Amends And Willing"
August 27, 2013: "sharing with friends, friends who are sober means we may be able to access the truth of who we are." We still need to be careful in recovery, not everybody in Fellowship is your friend, indeed although we have one common purpose or rather primary purpose which is to be sober, how people either adopt the steps and traditions, reject the steps and traditions, use the steps and traditions as a means of control and judgemental behaviour, all depends on people's attitudes and behaviour in recovery.
Anyone can be in the Fellowship of AA who has a desire to stop drinking. The exact nature of our character at the beginning when we are newcomer can be quite difficult to work out. Most likely suffering greatly from the physical, emotional and spiritual rollercoaster of addiction. Most likely in a state of shock and unable to cope with life or reality. Isolated, broken down with no glimmer of hope. No courage, just fear, no faith, just pride, no self-esteem, just ego. Powerless and unmanageable, driven mad and hoping for a magic potion to fix the problem that we are.
A Fellowship based on love to help anyone anywhere who reaches out for help, we all want that hand of Fellowship to be there and for that we are responsible. And what about those, the bad Wolf's that bite the hand that feeds them? It's a good idea to have got to a place where you feel comfortable in your own skin, are wearing chainmail gloves when you start shaking hands. Rather it is probable that we take people on face value, that they do have a desire to stop drinking. As to the rest of what we encounter, only time will tell. Some people make good, and some people remain quite awful even though they may have been around for quite a while. Contingent on the current conditions of any day, any one of us can be good, bad or ugly in our attitudes and actions.
All I know, everyone who gets into recovery has a chance to change. Sometimes we do not see the changes, sometimes years on somebody will come up to us and thank us for something we did some years back. This happened quite recently to me, at the same time, based on their current behaviour in recent times, I did not want to prolong or be in their company, a womaniser, a shyster, a beggar and a liar. At the same time, the glimmer of hope is there, that the words were genuine and authentic. The door is still open, and if emotional and spiritual support is asked for, I will do my best to help if I can. At the same time, treading with care is required, I cannot be their conscience, and I cannot judge them. It is always the many in recovery who make the difference to one individual. And one individual in recovery can have a profound effect on many be it good, bad or ugly. One day at a time, progress can seem like an eternity if I choose to judge rather than let go.
A famous author summed up much of what all humans are about. They said that life is difficult, and once we accept that life is difficult, the fact that it is difficult ceases to be the issue. Rather than be stuck in the old insanity that everything is difficult, we can move on and start to see where we can change and find solutions one day at a time. Difficult yes, impossible? Not so much one day at a time.
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