Alcoholics Anonymous Videos | DonInLondon

Alcoholics Anonymous | April 5 2013 | DonInLondon | Step 4 "Fear Less Inventory" one of the hardest lessons, is learning how to forgive. Step four, the fearless moral inventory, highlights what we did because of the way we felt about people, places and things. And whatever actions we took as a result of our feelings, we need to admit and accept our part in matters and also admit and accept the consequences of everything we have done…

Video For Today:

Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Forgive Everything"

Step four: From Webster's dictionary: Forgive: 1. To give up resentment of or claim to requital for <forgive an insult>b : to grant relief from payment of <forgive a debt> 2: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon <forgive one's enemies> Can you ever forgive me for being so selfish? I've never forgiven myself for the way I treated her. We must ask God to forgive us for our sins. When he feels he's been insulted, he finds it hard to forgive and forget. He finds it hard to forgive an insult. We must ask God to forgive our sins. The government has agreed to forgive some of the debt.

Step four: From Webster's dictionary: Related Words forgiveness: absolve, acquit, clear, exculpate, exonerate, vindicate; remit, shrive; condone, disregard, excuse, ignore, pass over, shrug off; discharge, liberate, redeem, release, unburden...

Step four: Anger and resentments are considered to be the number one offenders, which can tip a person back into the old life, where the balance of extremes comes out as the feelings of fear, pride and ego. We can all be angry at many events in our lives and we can see the part that other people played. It is often easier to look at situations from the past and be angry and resentful because of the people, places and things and the outcomes which will never be quite what we wanted. And certainly not what we needed. And the answer back in the day in my case was always to turn anger and resentment inwardly and drink to oblivion… I realise now that pride and ego turned inwardly made me responsible and I accepted the consequences and the losses as part of whatever nightmare I was living...

Some years into recovery, I was very fortunate to be in contact with an ex-partner. She was never far from my thoughts for many a year and our parting caused much grief. And at the same time I was grieving the loss of my father. Two people I loved dearly disappearing all at once. Somehow grieving my father was easier than grieving my partner, I wondered if she and I would ever be back together, fear, pride and ego stopped me and for a decade I drank to oblivion. And everyone was on my side and against her, and yet I still loved her. And some time later about nineteen years later, she wrote and asked me to forgive her. I did and had. And I wrote back that forgiveness had been always in my heart. I needed to remind myself that in the moment, any moment for whatever reason, we are doing the best we can with what we have. And she forgave me for who I was? To this day I'm not sure, I may ask, not sure, and it may be unfair to ask after all these years... Forgiveness needs to be in my heart always, we are all doing the best we can with what we know in the moment of now…

In step four, we do list, our resentments at the world, and always when we cast blame elsewhere and point the finger, there are three fingers pointing back at us. In my world back in the day, the culture of work hard and play hard, the culture of living in the moment, with a belly full of alcohol did lead to living at extremes. Humans are not designed to live at extremes all the time. The higher the joy, the harder we fall. And extremes of highs, followed by the lows, no wonder we can burn out, and find ourselves in the darkest and desolate places where humans never want to wake up again. In my early days, after ninety days, the extremes of depression were amplified beyond belief. And then the next ninety days, I could feel some normality returning as I stopped resenting and started forgiving one day at a time…

Step four: I used to have a note on the end of my emails which said: "forgive everyone everything every day. And if forgiveness does not work, express the resentment, for example, fuck them, and then work on forgiveness the next day and the next day…" What is really important as time goes by, is first, not finding myself in the wrong places with the wrong people doing the wrong things. And second, forgiveness really does happen in the moment of now. And when I look back, even at the most difficult situations to forgive, I cannot escape my own part in what happened. It is never about fairness or what other people do, it is always about what I do and the actions I take to keep on the path of truth, one day at a time…

Step four: And yes when I look back, in the step four resentments, I was the one who had choice, and the choice was severely impaired by my upbringing and the culture of the time. And then alcohol took its toll. There is no blame in this for me or anyone to exact any sort of retribution. Forgive yes! Forget? No. Amends need to be made, where we can, and without doing further harm… I needed quite a lot of guidance, first to see my part in it and why. And then, it would never be about asking for forgiveness from others, clearing the wreckage of the past, meant and means that I live with better understanding to the truth of now. And the real freedom of recovery is how we live and have gratitude for the life we can have one day at a time… And even then life will be good, life will have bad bits and ugly bits because… This is life with freedom today…

And how am I feeling this morning? I am truly grateful for many words shared about how we can be disturbed by the way we see people treated who are mentally ill. And the gratitude I have this morning has pulled me out of some darker thoughts of times past. When I look back and see the damage done over the years, and I remember family could see everything that had happened to me, and they could not stop me self-harming. I am so grateful that I was able to stick with fellowship long enough to start life over again. And although the road being trudged is very often difficult, the love of fellowship and the love of family keep me alive. Not only when life is good, fellowship, family, help me and the bad and ugly times which we all have in recovery… Step four is a lifesaver, letting go, letting go the fear, pride and ego, and opening the door to have courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and confidence to make the most of what we have one day at a time. This is the emotional and spiritual life, where we love, we are loved back and there is happiness to be had in the endeavours we choose today…

Alcoholics Anonymous | April 5 2012 | DonInLondon | Step 4 "Fear Less Inventory" Today's AA daily reflection: "true brotherhood… Or maybe equality in Fellowship." Learning how to be or become a person amongst persons, a friend amongst friends…

Video For Today:

2009 - 2012

The twelve steps, a daily practice and they work contingent on the day I ask in meditation, prayer and good conscience. The twelve traditions, become a way of life and work contingent on the day I ask in meditation, prayer and good conscience. A way to live a good life, new and exciting, rarely old and boring, sometimes completely understandable and sometimes a complete nightmare and sometimes light and dark and every hue in between…

In unity service and recovery we are but trusted servants, and as trusted servants we do what we can in whatever capacity may be required within the Fellowship. And the same applies in daily life, working to whatever capacity we have, exploring what we can and cannot do on a daily basis. As we treat ourselves with love and respect, we become able am very willing to trust in sharing love and respect for everyone we encounter no matter what the status another may assume…

All we need do in recovery is to assume an attitude and outlook of equality, treat people as we learn to treat ourselves in an open honest and willing way. As we let go judgement of others, trudging the road of destiny can be a far happier experience. In whatever endeavour we have in life, we find a path and continually learn, building experience strength and hope and wisdom of a new way of living in harmony within fellowship and society, it takes time for us to trust ourselves and others to trust us…

In all walks of life we will encounter all types of prejudice, the whole of society is riddled with judgements and harsh criticism. And when we are judged harshly and criticised, we need not make it worse by joining in adding self-prejudice and continuing to be prejudiced against others. A bully makes another bully, a hurt person will turn to hurting others, dog eat dog, less likely with twelve steps and twelve traditions influencing me in my attitudes and behaviour just for today…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

A fellow amongst fellows, to be ourselves and equal in our esteem of ourselves and others ~ Virginia Woolf "One of the signs of maturity is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them"-/- We all have experience, strength and hope; wisdom to share as we may..

In family and or fellowship, in community and society, whether we are leading or following, solitary or in company, what matters is, sober we can be included as opportunity offers, make choices and know more about who we are today. To love, be loved and useful not as we imagine, simply as we are..

-/-

AA Daily Reflection: TRUE BROTHERHOOD We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society. Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide underneath it. This self-centred behaviour blocked a partnership relation with any one of those about us. Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 53

This message contained in Step Four was the first one I heard loud and clear; I hadn’t seen myself in print before! Prior to my coming into A.A., I knew of no place that could teach me how to become a person among persons. From my very first meeting, I saw people doing just that and I wanted what they had. One of the reasons that I’m a happy, sober alcoholic today is that I’m learning this most important lesson.

-/-

As Bill Sees It ~ Membership Rules? Around 1943 or 1944, the Central Office asked the groups to list their membership rules and send them in. After they arrived we set them all down. A little reflection upon these many rules brought us to an astonishing conclusion. If all of these edicts had been in force everywhere at once it would have been practically impossible for any alcoholic to have ever joined A.A. About nine-tenths of our oldest and best members could never have got by! At last experience taught us that to make away any alcoholic's full chance for sobriety in A.A. was sometimes to pronounce his death sentence, and often to condemn him to endless misery. Who dared to be judge, jury, and executioner of his own sick brother? 1. GRAPEVINE, AUGUST 1946 2. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 141

-/-

Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 4 Inventory, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,

-/-

Just For Today, and every day cherish always...

-----------------------------------------

April 2013 | AA Big Book Playlist

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFF5F3EC98C6012A4

April 2013 | AA Twelve Step Playlist

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3BFA6062268A289D

April 2013 | AA Step Four Reading Video Link: